


The Girl in Black

by DisneyFanatic2364



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beauty and the Beast Elements, Big Brother Flug, Blood Drinking, Boss/Employee Relationship, Cannibalism, Crimes & Criminals, Demisexual Character, Demisexuality, Emotional Roller Coaster, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Hispanic Character, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Jealousy, Male-Female Friendship, Masochism, Morally Ambiguous Character, Multi, Pansexual Character, Partners in Crime, Sadism, Sexual Humor, Slow Burn, Workplace Relationship, transgender character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2019-10-30 20:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 144,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17835971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisneyFanatic2364/pseuds/DisneyFanatic2364
Summary: On Hat Island, you do what you have to in order to survive. Doesn't matter if you're good or evil. That's what Lita's always believed. So when Black Hat comes to collect her father's debts, what choice does she have but to join his villainous organization? After all, it wouldn't be the first time she committed a crime.There are two paths a person can go down: good and evil. Black Hat has always preferred the latter. But when his latest recruit insists there are no such things as good and evil, he can't help but wonder what could've led her to believe that.Will Black Hat change her world view, or will she change his?Partially inspired by "Beauty and the Beast."





	1. In Order to Survive

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally published on fanfiction.net, but I wanted to reach out to a wider audience.
> 
> To be clear, from what I've seen in the fandom so far, I do not ship PaperHat. Not because it's gay (I'm biromantic I don't care), but because it's an abusive ship. And Black HatxDementia is clearly one-sided. I've found myself more drawn to OC shipfics, or rather "Reader-Insert" ones. But I don't like the idea of Reader-Insert because it just shows a lack of creativity in creating an original character...and those that actually DO give "Readers" personality just makes me question why the author doesn't just make it an OC. The Black HatxOC ones tend to be dark and angsty, with Black Hat being possessive and abusive. I get that he's bad, but it's problematic if you actually want the relationship to work. So...I'm attempting a balance between angst and fluff (or as close to fluff as you can get with this cartoon). There is a bit of a "Beauty and the Beast" angle, only the heroine is not exactly "good" (yes, it's a female OC; not against the idea of Black Hat being gay it's really just to balance out the male/female ratio in the cast).
> 
> I would also like to point out that since "Villainous" is not a full show yet, much of the details and character backstories in here will be from speculation from what has been shown already. This is a fanfic, after all.
> 
> EDIT: Previously, I was using the fandom name "Hatville" for the island, but now that it's been confirmed to be "Hat Island," I've gone back and changed it, but let me know if there are any points I've missed.
> 
> Many of the original characters in here are Hispanic due to this being a Mexican-American cartoon. Helps that I've just started taking Spanish.
> 
> While I did come up with Adelita Gris' personality, a bit of her look was inspired by jade-alexandria's OC in her "Virtuous" fan-comic on deviantArt, particularly the long black ponytail and hoodie.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own "Villainous." That belongs to Cartoon Network and Alan Ituriel.
> 
> Rated T for language, violence and sexual references, though nothing graphic. May change if things go further.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Due to Episode 1 confirming the name of the island, "Hatville" has been changed to "Hat Island."

Whether it was day or night, one must always exercise caution while walking the streets of Hat Island. Here, the law was weak. Pickpockets, burglars, murderers, rapists. This island was their playground. The police tried to stop them all, but couldn't keep the chaos contained. For with every criminal captured, two more ran amok.

That's how it was here. When the most dangerous criminal alive resided in your town, there was no rest for the wicked. If you were out and about, chances were you were going to lose your wallet…or your life.

And yet, what choice did anyone have? If no one left their home, they'd starve to death.

That's why Adelita Gris was out, walking the streets of Hat Island. A young Hispanic woman of twenty-five, she was determined to get to her evening shift. If she didn't, she wouldn't get paid, and she and her father wouldn't get to eat.

She always made sure to keep a low profile when she was out. Hence, the black zip-up hoodie and pants. She kept her hood up, her head lowered and her hands in her pants' pockets as she walked at a rapid pace, her black work shoes clunking on the sidewalk.

She carried no purse. They were too easy to snatch. Instead, a brown backpack hung from her shoulders. The flap was buckled, so a thief couldn't easily slip their hand inside, and if they tried to yank it off her back, they'd have to take her with them. But it didn't carry her wallet. That was safely zipped up inside her hoodie pocket. It was as her father had always taught her: never carry all your eggs in one basket.

Her bright blue eyes glanced sideways as an alarm went off. A masked thief was running out of a store carrying a television. Adelita just kept on walking.

As she turned a corner, another masked man ran past her, carrying a bright red purse. An old lady soon followed after him, waving her fist in fury. Adelita just kept on walking.

Gunshots rang out as a car zoomed by. This was followed by a siren from a police car. Adelita just kept on walking.

This was nothing out of the ordinary. In this town, on this island, you did what you had to in order to survive. Whether honestly or dishonestly. The dishonest ones were the most desperate, but survivors like everyone else.

Adelita understood this better than anyone.

At last, the clothing store she worked at was in sight. She quickened her pace, practically running to the door. Once she was inside, she shut it behind her and let out a sigh of relief.

"Lita!" called a sixteen-year-old Hispanic girl with short black hair. She was folding blouses onto the display shelves. "You made it! When you didn't call, we were starting to think something had happened to you!"

Lita pulled down her hood, revealing her long black ponytail. "Sorry to worry you, Carmen. I'm only three minutes late."

"Yeah, but…" Carmen grew quiet. "You know. Anything could've happened."

"I'll help you with those after I put my stuff away and clock in," Lita said, walking past her to the break room.

She came out a few minutes later in a burgundy polo, matching Carmen's, and started folding shirts alongside her colleague.

"Am I doing this right?" Carmen asked, holding up her folded pink blouse.

"Relax, you're doing fine," Lita said, waving her hand. "Much better than I did in  _my_  first week."

The teenager sighed. "I just don't wanna lose this job, you know? My  _mamá_  and  _papá_  are having a hard enough time already with their jobs. Doesn't help that our house was robbed last month."

"Uh-huh," Lita muttered, folding a bright blue t-shirt.

"Just don't know how I can balance this with school." She turned to the older woman. "How'd you do it when you were my age?"

"I dropped out of tenth grade," Lita said bluntly.

Carmen's eyes widened. "That…may not be the best example to follow."

"It isn't."

"Why'd you drop out?"

Lita paused in her folding. "We needed money. Had to work full-time."

"Gee." Carmen shook her head. "Why'd we have to live on this island?"

"None of us can afford to leave."

"True. Every time we try to earn a little cash, some thug steals it all."

"Can't say I blame them," Lita murmured.

The teen turned to her. "Say what now?"

The bell over the door rang, alerting the girls.

"Customer," Lita whispered. "Smiles up."

Big grins were instantly plastered on their faces. Carmen's was a little strained. A blonde woman in her thirties, wearing a purple pantsuit was coming up to them.

"You wanna get this one or shall I?" Lita whispered.

"I can do it." Carmen walked up to the woman. " _Buenos noches, señora,_ welcome to  _Los Vestidos de Victoria_! How may I help you?"

"Yes," the woman said, pointing at a red dress on the rack. "Does this dress come in purple?"

Carmen froze. "Um…I, uh…"

She glanced at Lita for help. Sighing, the older employee came to her rescue.

"Certainly,  _señora_ ," Lita said, folding her hands behind her back as she grinned. "We don't have one on display now, but we'll have a quick look in the back, if you don't mind waiting."

She tilted her head towards Carmen. Getting the message, she raced back to the storeroom. She returned a few minutes later saying she couldn't find any purple dress in that style.

"Maybe you could try the red dress?" Carmen suggested.

"I don't like red," the customer said, crossing her arms.

"I can put in an order for one in purple, if you'd like," Lita said, her smile not wavering. "You could come pick it up in about a week."

This didn't seem to please her. "But I need the dress for my date tomorrow night!"

Inside, Lita was screaming in annoyance. But, she did her best to keep up her grin. She looked the woman's outfit over as she tried to think.  _So, she has a thing for purple, eh?_

"Well then," Lita said calmly, "I'm sorry if we cannot get you  _that_  dress. But…" She held up her finger. "If you could wait one moment, please? I think I have just the thing!"

She came back a minute later with a purple dress. Like the red dress, it was sleeveless, yet the straps were thinner. While the red dress had ruffles all over the skirt, the purple one had ruffles at the hem.

"This dress is of a similar style," Lita said, holding it up for the customer to see, " _and_  is purple,  _and_ , I believe, just about your size. Perhaps you'd like to try it on?"

The customer looked thoughtfully at the dress for a moment. Her frustration seemingly quelled, she took the dress.

"It  _is_  nice."

"I'll direct you to the changing room,  _señora_ ," Lita offered.

The dress ended up fitting the customer perfectly. She ended up buying a pair of matching heels too, at Lita's suggestion.

As Lita rung her up, the customer asked, "Are you the manager here?"

"No,  _señora_ ," she replied, handing the woman back her credit card. "I just work here."

The customer nodded in approval. "Well, you're very good."

Once the woman had left, Carmen stared at her associate in awe. "How do you do it?"

Lita dropped the smile to give her cheeks a break. "If there's anything I've learned in all my odd sales jobs, it's that any fire can be quenched with the right bucket of water."

Carmen scrunched her nose in confusion.

"Yeah, not the best metaphor. I just mean everyone wants something, and some people are gonna be difficult about it. Even try to bully ya into bending the rules. You just gotta show 'em ya can't be intimidated."

"But…what if I  _am_  intimidated?"

Lita laughed. "Well, you can't let  _them_  know that. And if you don't have what they want, give them a better offer and make them believe that's all they wanted in the first place."

Carmen tilted her head. "What are you? A salesperson or a con-artist?"

With a shrug, Lita replied, "Who says there's a difference?"

Just then, the door to the manager's office opened and a bald tan head poked out.

"Lita," the man said, his tone serious. "You're here. Come into my office. I need to speak with you."

When the door shut, Carmen looked over at Lita, who appeared nervous. "What'd you do?"

Lita shook her head and put up a smile. "It's probably nothing. You okay for a few minutes?"

Carmen nodded and Lita made her way to the office. Her smile faltered once she was sure her colleague wasn't looking.

 _Does he know?_  Her shoulders tensed. _Relax, Lita. If you act like something's wrong, he'll_ know _something's wrong. Just do what you do to chill._

So, taking a deep breath, she turned the doorknob and walked in. Her boss was at his desk. He pointed to the chair across from him.

"Have a seat, please?"

Lita smiled as she sat down. "How's it going, Victor?"

She saw that he was leaning back, his arms gripping the chair. She leaned back and did the same. It was a coping mechanism of hers. Whenever she was in an awkward encounter, she'd relax by copying the other person's movements. She wasn't sure why. Probably because the amusement made the situation less…tense.

"How are the wife and kids?" Lita said, keeping up her grin.

"I didn't call you in here for chitchat," Victor said, leaning forward and folding his hands onto his desk. "I'm afraid it's a…serious matter."

"Oh," she said, the corners of her mouth slipping. "I see."

She leaned forward to match his position. However, since it would be rude for her to fold her hands onto his desk, she placed them on her lap.

"I don't know if I ever told you," Victor said, glancing at a photo of him with a Hispanic woman and two young girls, "but my wife is a retired cop. She was in here the other day while you were on the clock."

Lita's eyes flicked to the photo, seeing that the woman was dressed in a police uniform. "Is…that so? Forgive me, I…didn't see her."

"She was just here to drop off my lunch, but…she thought you were familiar."

Her fingers tightened together. It was the best she could do to not appear nervous.

"And then she told me about a case she'd worked ten years ago. About a series of home invasions." His brown eyes locked onto her blue ones. "The suspect they caught was a fifteen-year-old girl by the name of Adelita Gris."

And there it was. Her smile dropped completely and her shoulders slumped.

"So," she muttered. "You know, then."

"Need I remind you," Victor said slowly, "that lying on your resumé results in immediate termination?"

"Would you have hired me if I hadn't?" Lita snapped before she could help herself.

Victor sighed. "I realize it was a long time ago, and this town can lead people to do crazy things, but that doesn't change the fact that you lied. And yes, you've been one of my best sales associates in the last five months you've worked here. You've even chased off the occasional shoplifter. However, our company policy states—"

"Please, Victor, I need this job!" Lita exclaimed, standing up and slamming her hands onto the desk. "It took me ages just to find—"

"Lita," Victor said, holding out his hand impatiently.

She stared down at his open hand. Once again. The same old song. She knew the tune.

With a heavy sigh, she unclipped her nametag and dropped it into his hand.

"I'll clear out my locker then," she muttered, heading for the door.

Before she slammed it shut, Victor called, "Feel free to keep the uniform!"

Like that  _fucking_  mattered.

* * *

It was getting dark by the time Lita had grabbed her stuff and stormed out of the store. She kept her hood up and her hands shoved into her zippered pockets as she trudged through the streets.

That had been the third job this year. The twenty-seventh in ten. They all found out eventually. Actually, she was surprised it had taken Victor  _this_  long to find out. One would think in a town crawling with criminals, employers wouldn't be so picky. But they were. Even the smallest criminal offense mattered.

She hadn't always omitted her brief time in juvie on her resumé. Many employers had been desperate. However, as soon as something was stolen—which was pretty much an everyday occurrence on Hat Island—the blame was put on the girl with the record. Of  _course_ , Victor's wife just  _had_  to be a retired cop! If he'd known the whole story, he wouldn't have been so quick to judge.

But no. Victor was one of those people who saw the world in black and white, evil and good. No shades of gray, no in-between.

"Fucking idiot," she muttered under her breath.

She was so angry, she hadn't been paying attention to where she was going. Or that she was being followed.

Her stalker grabbed her from behind, covering her mouth and holding a knife to her throat.

"Struggle and I'll cut ya open like a pig!" whispered a harsh male voice.

Lita groaned as she was pulled into the nearest alleyway. She did  _not_  want to have to deal with this right now!

So…pickpocket or rapist?

"Oh wow," her attacker said, his breath hot on her neck. "You're a pretty one, ain't ya?"

Definitely the latter. Didn't these guys ever quit? She swore if the schools in this town taught the risks of unprotected sex better, there wouldn't be so many sleazebags prowling the streets!

"Just relax, doll," he whispered, his knifed hand moving towards her hoodie zipper. "And we'll have some fun."

 _Big mistake_.

Without hesitance, she bit down hard on his hand. He cried out in shock and pain.

"Why, you—"

He didn't have a chance to cut her, for she thrust her bottom backward, pushing him away. She had enough room to reach into her hoodie pocket and pull out a switchblade. In one swift movement, she slashed his wrist, forcing him to drop his knife.

"What the  _fuck_?!" he howled.

Spinning around, Lita roundhouse-kicked him in the ribs, knocking him to the ground. She then turned to leave.

"Hey, you bitch!" he cried, jumping up. "I ain't done with—"

He charged for her, but she faced him just in time to stick her knife in his groin. He stopped, his mouth open in an attempt to scream.

"Yes," Lita said, scowling at him with her bright blue eyes as she twisted her knife within him, "you are."

She drew the blade back, allowing blood to burst out of his pants. Wailing, he covered his bloody groin and dropped to his knees. Lita was about to retrieve her phone from her back pocket, but paused.

The police would be of no help. Even if she could prove he'd attacked first, they still had her on record. They might not believe her.

So, turning on her heel, Lita walked casually out of the alley, leaving the bastard to bleed. Noticing the dripping blood on her knife, she reached into her hoodie pocket for a Kleenex packet. She wiped the blade clean and tossed the bloody tissue into the nearest trash can.

On Hat Island, you did what you had to in order to survive.


	2. A Mess to Clean Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet Lita's father.

When Lita came home to her rundown townhouse, the TV was on, as usual. Her father was sitting in his leather recliner chair watching it, as usual. Ricardo Gris was an obese Hispanic man, his hair graying and thinning from old age. The gray stubble on his chin indicated that he hadn't shaved this morning. Lita's eyes strayed to the empty beer cans sitting below his hanging hand. He didn't hear her at first when she came in, for his dark eyes were glued to the flickering screen.

"Really, Papi?" Lita said, scooping up the cans. "I thought we agreed you were going to cut back on this. If not for me, at least for the mortgage."

Ricardo jumped in his seat, his head turning towards her. "Oh,  _mija_. You're home early."

Lita rolled her eyes. They would save the drinking discussion for another time, then.

"I got fired," she said, flopping down onto the couch. "Again."

Her father blinked. "What happened?"

"What do you think?" She set down her backpack. "My boss found out about my record."

Ricardo sighed. "People can be so judgmental."

"I know, right?"

She groaned as she lay down, her eyes glancing at the TV. The news was airing. The screen showed an image of the Hat Island Museum, a large gaping hole in its outer wall.

" _According to the security footage,_ " said the female voiceover, " _the famous Coolidge collection of Dogs Playing Poker, which was on loan to the Hat Island Museum, was stolen by none other than Black Hat's henchgirl, Dementia. Fortunately, it seems she only got away with half the collection. A small blessing, considering the damage that was done on her way out._ "

"Is it just me," Lita said, playing with her ponytail absentmindedly, "or are Black Hat's henchmen getting messier with their work?"

"I would've done a better job," Ricardo said. " _You_  would've done a better job. At the very least we wouldn't have left such a mess behind."

Lita smirked. "I'm sure we would have, Papi. But those days are behind us now. Even if my bosses don't seem to think so."

Her father turned to look at her. "It's just as well,  _mija_. You never seem happy working retail."

"It wasn't  _so_  bad. At least I was good at it."

"You were good at thieving too."

Closing her eyes, Lita let out a sigh. "Papi, we've talked about this."

"But now's as good a time as any, don't you think?" He gestured to the screen. "The police and heroes are too busy with Black Hat's exploits to be concerned with low-rank thieves like us."

"Low-rank?" She glanced at him. "Papi, you once stole a rare Fabergé egg right under a duchess' nose!"

"Ah, yes," Ricardo said, staring wistfully into nothingness. "To this day, they never solved that case. Black Hat had paid handsomely for that too." He sighed sadly. "But I haven't been in any condition to steal anything since…"

He didn't need to continue, for she knew the rest. They both glanced at the picture on the coffee table. In it was Ricardo, much younger and thinner; Lita when she was about eight, and a smiling blonde woman with blue eyes much like Lita's.

"Mom wouldn't want us stealing," Lita murmured.

" _Sí_ ," her father said with a slow nod. "Linda…she always said I could be better." He shook his head. "But she also wouldn't want us on the streets. We're already behind on our payments as it is."

Lita cocked her head. "I thought the mortgage wasn't due for another month."

He bit his lip. "I, erm…meant the phone and electric."

Her eyes flitted towards the beer cans. "You sure that's where all the money's going?"

"Lita!" Ricardo said, looking offended. "I may be a retired thief, but I certainly wouldn't rob from my own daughter!"

"Fine," Lita said, sitting up. "I'll start job-searching tomorrow."

She got up and headed for the stairs leading to her room.

"Don't forget your exercises!" her father called.

"That advice, I  _will_  take," she said.

While she wasn't thieving anymore, it still helped to keep in shape, just in case. It had certainly helped with the incident an hour earlier.

Once his daughter had disappeared upstairs, Ricardo let out an exasperated sigh as he glanced at the coffee table. He was relieved Lita hadn't chosen to peruse the pile of letters sitting there. Particularly, one blood-red envelope bearing the seal of a black top hat.

* * *

In the middle of Hat Island sat a massive, black mansion in the shape of a top hat. A crashed plane stuck out of its roof. This belonged to the island's owner and resident villain, Black Hat. Though retired, he still exercised his evildoings by selling dangerous products to other villains.

While he wasn't actively trying to take over the world—he had succeeded many times in the past—he still held power over Hat Island. No one could touch him. Not the police, not the federal agencies, not even the superheroes. Many had tried to bring him to justice, but all had failed. At some point, the police had stopped wasting their effort entirely and let him commit his crimes. Such was the reason Hat Island had a crime rate higher than any other city in the world.

If anyone were to pass by Black Hat Manor at this very moment, they would be able to tell that its owner was in an extremely bad mood. For the roof had blasted wide open.

Black Hat's shouting could be heard within a hundred-mile radius. "THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, DEMENTIA!"

The villain was in the den, and the cause of his anger was his mutant henchgirl, Dementia. He was towering over her, now twice her size, foaming at the mouth. Dementia looked up at him with her tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth, completely unfazed. His paper-bag-wearing scientist Dr. Flug, however, was cowering in the corner, holding up his tablet as a shield.

"NOT ONLY DID YOU FAIL TO GET THE  _ENTIRE_  COOLIDGE COLLECTION," Black Hat continued to shout in a thundering, demonic voice, "BUT YOU TRIGGERED THE ALARMS BY DESTROYING HALF THE MUSEUM  _AND_  GOT CAUGHT ON FILM SO NOW EVERYONE KNOWS WE'RE BEHIND THE HEIST!"

Dementia huffed. "Big deal! Not like the fuzz can touch us!"

"BUT NOW THEY CAN DEDUCE THAT WE MEAN TO SELL THE PAINTINGS TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER! WHICH MEANS THEY CAN INTERCEPT THEM FROM OUR CLIENTS! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS?!"

Dementia just tilted her head and pointed up at him. "You're cute when you're angry, darling!"

His roar echoed throughout the mansion as he picked up Dementia and tossed her so hard, she crashed through the wall.

"I'm okay!" she called from the other room.

Checking to see if his boss' tantrum was over, Flug peered nervously over his tablet. Sure enough, Black Hat had shrunk back down to his normal size. He was now straightening his tie and smoothing out the sleeves of his trench coat.

"Flug," Black Hat growled, rolling his one eye towards the scientist. "Remind me  _why_  you created her?"

Flug gulped. "Y-Y-You asked…f-f-for a d-d-destructive henchman s-s-strong enough t-t-to…infiltrate any fortress?"

"Destructive, yes. Strong, yes." He gestured furiously to the newly made hole in the wall. "I didn't ask for an obsessive fangirl who never pays attention to what she's doing!"

Exhausted from the tantrum, Black Hat slumped back into his red armchair over by the glowing green fireplace.

"Get 5.0.5. to clean that up," he said bluntly.

"Y-Y-Yes, sir!" Flug said with a salute.

He didn't hesitate to bolt out of the room. Heaving an exasperated sigh, Black Hat summoned his cane from his shadow and leaned his head onto it.

As a villain, he didn't mind a little chaos and destruction. As a businessman, he had to maintain control over his subordinates. Dementia was too much of a loose cannon. He'd have fired slash destroyed her ages ago, if she wasn't such a useful bodyguard and hit-girl. Though her carelessness—not to mention her disgusting obsession with him—was getting on his last nerve! He couldn't let her handle another heist. At least not alone.

He made a mental note to have Flug put out an ad tomorrow.

* * *

The next morning, Lita found her father asleep in his chair. As usual. With a small smile, she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll be back soon, Papi," she whispered before heading out the door.

The mall was the most likely place to find Help Wanted ads. After all, with so many random people disappearing in this town, jobs were always open. Problem was she'd already worked at about half these places. She was practically famous here. She couldn't go into a store without one of the sales associates recognizing her.

 _Honestly_ , she thought.  _It's not like I'd ever shoplifted while working_ for _them._

In fact, she hadn't stolen anything in ten years. But did anyone believe her? Of course, not! As the old saying goes, a leopard cannot change her spots.

She was about to give up and grab some lunch at the food court when a voice called out, "Hey, Lita!"

She winced as she recognized the voice, but kept on walking.

"Lita! Wait up!"

She tried quickening her pace, but the person caught up to her. She cried out as her shoulder was grabbed and she was spun around. The person was a white man a year older than her. He had wispy brown hair, deep blue eyes and a youthful face. He smiled as he looked at her.

"Hey," he said. "How've ya been? You haven't been returning my calls."

With a scowl, Lita turned on her heel and attempted to walk away.

"Hey, hey," he said, grabbing her shoulder again. "What's the rush?"

"Not now, Paulo," she said, glaring hard at him. "I'm having a really bad day."

Paulo reached for her hand. "Maybe I can help with that."

She snatched her hand away before he could touch it. "We. Broke. Up. Paulo."

"Doesn't mean we can't still be friends. Look, the last time we talked wasn't pretty…"

She held up her hands dismissively. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Lita tried leaving again, but he grabbed her wrist.

"Look," he said slowly, "I know you and your dad are going through a rough patch right now. I wanna help. I can even help you get a job!"

She blinked at his words. "How'd you know I was looking for a job?"

He froze. "I, uh…assumed from how you were looking at all the stores and…"

With a gasp, Lita wrenched her wrist out of his hold. "Have you been  _stalking_  me?!"

"No! I just…heard from a friend that you—"

"Paolo!" she exclaimed, her nostrils flaring. "It's over, okay?! Leave me alone before I call security!"

She stomped away from him. Thankfully, he didn't follow this time.

Twenty minutes later, Lita was munching on a double cheeseburger at a lone table. Having no one to talk to, she glanced around at the other tables. They were filled with groups of friends, families, and couples of all sorts. They all had two things in common. They were happy.

And they weren't alone.

Keeping her burger in one hand, she checked her phone for messages. There was one text from her father:  _How's the job hunt going?_

With a small smile, Lita texted back.  _Horrible. Eating lunch._

 _Dad:_   _Should've brought it home. We'd eat together._

_Lita: Running errands after. Need anything?_

A minute passed before his next reply.  _Out of milk and shaving cream._

She raised an eyebrow.  _How can we be out of shaving cream? You never shave!_

He sent a laughing emoji.

_Lita: Ran into Paolo just now._

_Dad: How's he doing?_

_Lita: Don't care._

_Dad: He's such a nice boy. Why you stop dating?_

Lita's fingers paused.  _No time for guys. Just you._

_Dad: Stop worrying bout me all the time. You need to have fun._

_Lita: When we have a million pesos THEN we can have fun._

_Dad: Get home safe._

_Lita: I will_.

They closed off the conversation with a heart emoji each. Even though her father wasn't here, she felt much less alone now.

* * *

Black Hat was in his office, sifting through a large pile of yellow folders. They contained information on all the master thieves in his organization. As there were so many, Dr. Flug was there to help.

"If you don't mind me asking, sir," Flug said, setting one folder aside, "won't Dementia get…jealous when she finds out you're trying to replace her?"

"I'm not replacing her, Flug," Black Hat said, groaning as his eye moved over the contents of the file in his gloved hands. "Think of this as…backup. In the event of a smash-and-grab, she can handle the 'smash' while someone else handles the 'grab.' Especially when the 'smash' is unnecessary."

"So…you're looking for someone with more…stealth?"

"And discipline," Black Hat said, slamming the folder closed. "Someone who can keep that mutant lizard-woman under control!"

"Well, there are plenty of suitable candidates within our organization." Flug opened the next file. "How about…that Catwoman over in Gotham City?"

Black Hat huffed. "She won't do. She's too obsessed with her adversary to be trustworthy. Remember Rule 10V3: we can't involve," he gagged, " _love_."

"I suppose you're right," Flug said, setting the file aside. "We already have Dementia's little, err… _crush_  to deal with." He picked up the next one. "What about Miss Sandiego?"

"Is she even a real villain anymore?" Black Hat asked, rolling his eye. "Rumor has it she's only stealing from other thieves nowadays."

Flug sighed. "All the good ones are going soft nowadays. Femme Fatale from Townsville?"

"She won't work for a man. And she only steals Susan B. Anthony coins." He looked over at the scientist. "Why are all these master thieves women?"

He shrugged. "Does it really matter, sir?"

Black Hat waved his hand dismissively. "I don't want to end up with  _another_  Dementia. That defeats the purpose of all this!"

"Well, sir," Flug said, folding his yellow-gloved hands together, "just because our newest employee might be a woman doesn't necessarily mean she'll, uh…" He glanced at his boss nervously. "Well, you know. I mean there's just as much of a chance of that happening if it were a man or a transgendered person or a non-binary—"

The slamming of Black Hat's fist on his desk, caused Flug to shut up. "I don't  _care_  what gender they are! So long as they can get past a blasted high-tech security system and come out with an extremely valuable item undetected  _and_  do it all without double-crossing me!"

With an exasperated sigh, he leaned back in his chair. "But look at all this! Obsessed with a hero, gone morally gray, stealing measly one-dollar coins no one even uses anymore!" He smacked the stack of files. "Useless! Utterly  _useless_!"

Flug squeaked as she scrambled to stop the files from falling over. Last thing he needed was to have to organize them all over again. Sighing in relief, he grabbed the next file on top.

"Well, if you want a break from women, sir," Flug said, opening it up, "what about Ricardo Gris?" He skimmed the page. "Oh, he's the one who stole that Fabergé egg of yours!"

"Yes," Black Hat muttered, remembering his prized, green, jeweled egg that was sitting in his trophy room. "But as I recall, dear Ricardo's retired. And not in the way  _I_  am."

"Well, you might be able to convince him to steal again." The scientist took out a long, folded up sheet of paper. "What with all the money he owes us."

"Money?" Black Hat's head perked up. "What money?"

Flug squinted at the page. "Says here he took out a loan from you about…fifteen years ago?"

"Ah, yes. Now I remember." He grumbled. "Something about paying off medical bills."

He hadn't agreed to that loan out of concern for the thug's welfare, of course. He just loved using a poor soul's desperation to his advantage. Plus, it meant more money in the long-run.

"Oh," Flug said, cocking his head in interest. "According to this, he's long overdue on his payments. At least…three months' worth."

Black Hat scowled at him. "Then why," he said, getting up from his seat, "are you only telling me about this," Flug shook as his boss towered over him, " _now_?!"

"I-I-I…" The scientist gulped. "I mean it's s-s-such an old loan and, uh…" He stopped himself, knowing that wasn't the right thing to say. "Uh…d-d-don't you like l-l-leaving your v-v-victims in…d-d-dreaded suspense? M-Making your appearance all the more…t-t-terrifying?"

Black Hat thought about this and then returned to his seat. "That's true. After three months of expecting me to collect, he's probably wallowing in fearful anticipation right about now." He grinned maliciously, his minty-green fangs showing as he pressed his fingertips together. "It's been rather dull today. Perhaps now's as good a time as any to pay my dear old friend a visit."

The goggles over Flug's eyes gleamed at this prospect. "Shall I," he said, putting his hands together excitedly, "prepare the torture chamber, sir?"

"Now, now, Doctor," Black Hat said, standing up. "Let's see if he has the money first." He brushed the dust off his coat. "But…just in case…" He adjusted his collar. "Get 5.0.5. to tidy up in there."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. More about Lita's past will be explained later.
> 
> If you couldn't tell, I really had Belle and Maurice's relationship in the latest "Beauty and the Beast" in mind, at least in their interactions. Though...obviously it's not a perfect relationship.
> 
> It's my theory that Dementia's a mutation of some sort, due to the blueprints of her in Flug's lab and the fact that she sleeps in a test tube. Whether she used to be 100% human before or not, who can really say? Like I don't know, Flug infused her with lizard DNA or something?


	3. Mess With the Bull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a BIG mistake is made. But by whom?

 

After picking up groceries, Lita stopped by the bank, as per her father's request.

 _Mortgage due soon_ , he had texted.  _Withdraw $100,000 cash._

 _Funny_ , she'd thought.  _I don't remember our next mortgage payment being_ that _high. Do we even have that much in our savings?_

Who could really tell? With all the times they'd had to take a mortgage on the house and pay up the piling bills. Lita had insisted that they move into someplace more affordable, like a small apartment just for the two of them. But her father didn't want to leave the house he'd lived in for so long. With her mother.

It was the house they'd met in after all. Back when he was a cat burglar doing a routine home invasion, and she was a simple young woman waking to someone breaking into her home. Poor Ricardo hadn't expected the owner of the home to be a black belt in judo.

It had been love at first fight.

As much as Lita also missed her mother, she knew they couldn't hold onto that place forever. If they had the money, they'd leave Hat Island entirely. To some place where one didn't have to take such drastic measures to make it through the day.

As she waited in line for the teller, Lita couldn't help but wonder about her father's request. Not only the amount, but that it had to be in cash. Didn't they usually send their mortgage payments electronically? Taking out that many pesos in cash…it was going to be a long walk back home.

Just then, a trio of masked people burst through the door, each of them carrying machine guns.

"Everyone, get down!" the man in the middle shouted. "Put your hands on your heads!"

There were a few screams as everyone in the bank lobby dropped to the ground and put their hands on their heads. With an annoyed sigh, Lita followed them.

She watched as the robbers threatened the tellers, demanding they give all their money. Seeing the medium builds of their bodies, Lita figured she could take them down. However, the machine guns complicated things. As the old saying goes: never bring a knife to a gun fight.

 _How can they even expect to carry the money out if they're carrying those heavy guns?_ she couldn't help but think.  _This is why I always worked after hours._

Outnumbered and out-armed, Lita had no choice but to stay still and quiet until the thieves were done. These hold-ups were usually over within five minutes, so long as no one ever did anything stupid like take out their cellphone or try to run.

_So much for that withdrawal._

* * *

Ricardo craned his neck towards the door as the bell was rung. " _Mija_? Is that you? Did you lose your key?"

The bell rang again. With an exhausted sigh, Ricardo struggled to get up from his seat. He'd been sitting so long that his thighs were aching and his right foot had fallen sleep. Then came a hard, impatient knock.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" he called, his walk slow and tired.

Unbolting the latch and turning the lock, he opened the door up. "Did you get the shaving—?"

He stiffened when he saw the visitor. The figure peered down at him, his minty-green fangs smiling sinisterly.

"Hello, Ricardo," Black Hat said.

Ricardo quickly attempted to shut the door, but Black Hat stopped it with his cane.

"Tsk, tsk," he said, pushing the door open all the way as he stepped inside. "Is that any way to greet an old friend?"

Utterly speechless at the villain's overpowering presence, Ricardo backed away into the living room. Black Hat's one eye wandered around, his grin becoming a disapproving frown.

"My, my, Ricardo," he said, using his cane to sweep aside a pile of beer cans. "You've really let yourself go, haven't you?" He poked the cowering man's large beer belly. "To think you once stole a priceless Fabergé egg." He reached down and picked up the family photo off the coffee table. "I told you that family of yours would make you soft," he said, tossing the frame over his shoulder, shattering the glass, "but I never imagined they'd make you a  _slob_."

"P-Please…" Ricardo said, holding up his hands. "I-I know I'm behind on my payments…"

"Three months overdue," Black Hat said, his grin returning as he held up three fingers. "Not to mention fifteen years of interest."

He shocked Ricardo as fifteen fingers sprouted up on his two hands.

"I'm starting to believe," Black Hat said, leaning onto his cane, "that you have no intention of  _ever_  paying me back in full."

"I do, I do!" Ricardo insisted. "M-My daughter…she's at the bank right now! She'll be here any minute with the money I owe you! E-Enough to p-pay off the last three months! And more!"

Black Hat glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was nearly six p.m. "I haven't got all night."

Ricardo's cell phone buzzed from the coffee table. Black Hat glanced down to read the caller ID.

"Who's Lita?"

"My daughter!" Ricardo exclaimed, sighing in relief. "Probably calling to say she got the money! P-Please, if I don't answer, she'll think something's wrong!"

Black Hat narrowed his eye at him. "Give her any indication that I'm here, or show any sign of distress," he pointed his cane at the phone, "and I smash this blasted thing!"

He used his cane to click the green button, and then the speaker.

" _Papi_?" Lita said on the other end.

Ricardo glanced up at Black Hat nervously, who nodded for him to reply. "Lita?  _Mija_? Did you get the money?

There was a sigh. " _That's what I'm calling you about. The bank…it was just robbed._ "

Ricardo stiffened. "Are you alright,  _mija_?"

" _I'm fine._ " She huffed. " _I would've fought them off if they didn't have guns._ "

Black Hat cocked his head upon hearing the girl's voice. This was an…odd reaction to a bank robbery. What should've been a traumatic event was being rubbed off as an everyday occurrence.  _I suppose robberies_ are _frequent around here_ , he thought with a smirk.

Still, the girl's voice didn't sound the least bit shaken up. Not even when she mentioned the guns.

"And the money?" Ricardo said, the realization sinking in. "Did they…did they take—?"

" _Yes, Papi_ ," Lita said with a sigh. " _But not all of it. We've got about ten thousand left._ "

Ricardo winced. "It's…alright,  _mija_. I'm just glad you're safe."

" _Should I still make a withdrawal? I'm sure the bank will give us an extension due to the recent robbery—_ "

"No! Just…get home as soon as you can,  _princesa_."

There was a groan. " _Papi, how many times have I told you not to call me—_ "

She was cut off, as Black Hat had hung up. Ricardo finally got up the courage to open his eyes and face the villain. His grin was wide, his one eye fixated on the stout man.

"You don't have the money, do you, Ricardo?" Black Hat said.

With a gulp, Ricardo stepped backward, his hands searching for something he could use as a weapon.

"Pathetic," Black Hat said with a huff. "And here I was hoping you'd agree to steal for me one last time. But, seeing as you are in no condition to do  _anything_ productive," he raised his hand, showing his middle finger and thumb pressed together, "you'll just have to pay me back… _another_  way."

He snapped his fingers and two buff Hatbots came rolling through the open front door. Before Ricardo could even take a step, he was in one of the menacing robots' mechanical clutches! The other Hatbot placed a sack over his head, muffling his screams.

"You know, Ricardo," Black Hat said, walking casually towards the door, "in all the years we've known each other, you've never once visited my estate!" The Hatbots followed him out, hauling the prisoner between them. "I think we should rectify that. Don't you agree?"

He completely ignored the cellphone buzzing on the coffee table.

* * *

On the way home, Lita called her father's cell for what felt like the tenth time. It had been weird for her father to suddenly cut her off like that. When the call went to voicemail again, she shoved her phone into her hoodie pocket in exasperation.

"Come on, Papi! You're really starting to worry me here!"

What if something had happened to him? What if he'd passed out from alcohol again? What if he'd had a heart attack? What if…what if someone had broken into their home and knocked him out? Or…or worse?

She shook her head. Many people in the neighborhood knew her father was a retired thief. Although he didn't come out a lot, they knew better than to break into another thief's home. But…not every thief in Hat Island knew better.

That's why she was eager to get home, her plastic bag of groceries in hand. She needed to make sure if he was alright. And if he was, she'd ask about the mortgage.

After the robbery had taken place, Lita had asked the teller if there was a possibility for an extension, given the circumstances. But then after checking their account status, the teller had said this month's payment had already been made.

So…if those one-hundred-thousand pesos weren't for the mortgage, what were they for? Lita loved her father, but she hated it when he kept secrets from her. She needed to get home fast, as it was already getting dark.

Just then, a long, black car came around the corner ahead of her, causing Lita to stop dead in her tracks. It wasn't just any car. It was a hearse with red stripes painted around the wheels, bearing a silver hood ornament in the shape of a top hat.

Black Hat's car.

Lita's first instincts were to run and hide, but she was nowhere near an alleyway, and running would only attract his attention. Rumor had it he could literally smell fear, and he would go where the scent was rampant.

She didn't want to be noticed. Not by  _him_. They said he picked wandering citizens off the streets just for the mere fun of it, and those who were dragged into his car were rarely seen again.

The only thing to do was act natural. If she wasn't afraid, he would ignore her. So, taking a deep breath, she shoved her free hand into her hoodie pocket and continued walking towards the car driving her way.

The car was going slow. Black Hat clearly wasn't in a hurry, otherwise he'd be breaking traffic laws. He must want to make his presence known to the neighborhoods' residence, give them a scare. Not wanting to give him that pleasure, she tried not to look through the windows as it drove by.

_Just keep walking. Just keep walking._

Finally, the hearse had passed her entirely. Letting out a sigh of relief, Lita quickened her pace and rounded the next corner. That had been close.

Even though she'd lived on Hat Island all her life, she'd only seen Black Hat once—not counting his commercials and PEAs (Public Evil Announcements) that would air on television. It'd been around fifteen years ago, not long after her mother had passed away. Lita had been ten years old.

She'd been up in her room, crying over pictures of her mother, when she'd heard voices downstairs. Someone had seemed to be arguing with her father. Not recognizing the second voice, she had decided to investigate.

Even at ten, she'd made the habit to step quietly as she crept down the stairs.

"P-P-Please, Mr. Black Hat, sir!" her father had said, sounding desperate. "Have mercy! My wife just died!"

"I don't care if your goldfish just died!"

The second voice was low and raspy. It had a semblance of a British accent, though so growly it was almost hard to make out. Lita had imagined an English Chupacabra.

"You will give what is owed to me," said the monstrous voice, "or else—"

"Please! I just need a little time, that's all!"

When little Lita had peered into the living room, her father—at this time, he'd been much thinner and had had a beautiful head of black hair—had had his back pressed against the far wall, slipping downward as the stranger loomed over him. From the back, Lita could see that he had been wearing a black trench coat and top hat.

"You're already overdue as it is!" the being had shouted raising a black hand that resembled a claw. "I don't care if you once sold me a Fabergé egg! My patience can only last so—"

"Papi?" she had said.

And then he had turned to face her. Lita would never forget that terrifying image. He'd been so tall, at least two meters. Twice her size, towering over her like a mountain to a hill. His clothes had been fine. Beneath his trench coat was a light gray waistcoat, a black tie over a red shirt. His black top hat sported a maroon band, matching his shirt. His black trousers were a tight fit around his slender legs. She remembered his shoes being huge and covered by somethings she now knew were called spats.

But despite his fancy clothes, his face was anything but dignified. His skin…it wasn't natural. It was gray. And he had no ears! Only one eye showed, and it held no color. Just one single pupil that at that time, had been directed at her. His left eye was covered by a shiny, rimless monocle. She hadn't been able to see through it, leaving her to assume that there was nothing to see but the back of his skull.

His black-gloved hand had been closed tightly around a cane. Her ten-year-old self had been so sure he was going to strike her with it, especially as he had stepped closer to her. Unsure of what to do, she had stayed frozen in place, staring up at the demon.

Then he had grinned, showing his teeth—no,  _fangs_ —which had a greenish tint.

"Well, well, well," he had said, placing his cane behind his back as he had leaned down to her level. "Hello there, little one."

"Leave her alone!" her father had shouted. " _Mija_ , go upstairs!"

Black Hat had then done something she hadn't expected. He'd made a big red lollipop appear in his hand, causing her to gasp in amazement. At that moment, she had been less afraid and more…curious.

"Care for a lolly?" Black Hat had asked, moving the tempting lollipop towards her.

"How'd you do that?" she'd said.

"Don't take that, Lita!" her father had exclaimed.

She'd looked over at him. "Is he a stranger?"

Ricardo had hesitated. "Well, uh…he's certainly… _strange_ …"

"Oh," she'd said simply.

Then, facing the villain again, she'd slapped the lollipop out of his hand. He'd looked at her in surprise, but that had quickly changed to fury as he'd clenched his teeth together.

"Why, you little…"

He'd had his claws out to her, but she'd kicked him hard in the shin. Yowling in pain, he'd been distracted enough for her to run out of the room and upstairs. Her father must have said something to calm him down, for he hadn't pursued her.

She'd been lucky to have gotten away with something like that. From what she'd heard, Black Hat had quite a temper and rarely went easy on anyone. Not even children.

She hadn't quite understood what Black Hat had been doing in her house, until her father had explained it. Ricardo was a member of Black Hat Organization—an inactive one, though he got discounts on protection fees—and they'd merely been talking business. Shortly afterwards, he had asked how she would feel about following in her father's footsteps.

Boy, was she glad her father had retired from thievery. Otherwise, Black Hat might've paid  _more_  visits to their house. If she were to meet him again—she hoped not—she wouldn't dare anger him again. She had a feeling he wouldn't be so forgiving a second time. Dealing with a random rapist or pickpocket on the street was one thing, but Black Hat…was not a being you wanted to cross. Ever.

A few minutes later, she finally reached home. Only something was off. The front door was wide open. She stopped a moment. They  _always_  kept the door locked and bolted, in case someone should break in. Suspecting something was up, Lita took out her switchblade as she slowly approached the open door.

Peering inside, she couldn't tell if a struggle had taken place, for the living room was always in disarray. Except, her father wasn't in his chair. And his phone sat on the coffee table.

She stepped further into the room, her knife aimed ahead of her.

"Papi?" she called. "Papi, are you here?"

Something broke beneath her foot. She glanced down to see the old family photo, cracks over her mom's and dad's faces. That shouldn't have been on the floor.

Then she spotted something else a short distance away. A small, rectangular piece of paper. It looked like a business card of some sort. Crouching down, Lita picked up the card between her pointer and thumb. When she saw the symbol on it, she gasped in horror.

Printed on the card was a black top hat within a circle. She didn't need to turn the card over to know whose it was.

Black Hat Organization.

"Papi," she murmured, dropping the card.

He had her papi.

She pulled out her cell, but then paused. Who could she call? They had no relatives. Her mother had been disowned by her family long before Lita was born, and her father had grown up an orphan. She certainly couldn't call the police or the Hero Organization. Even if they cared enough to help a retired thief, none of them stood a chance against  _Black Hat_! If he had a nickel for every hero he'd vaporized and or butchered, he'd be…well, richer than he already was.

Putting her hands on either side of her head, she paced around the room in a frenzy. What could she do? There was no one to call! No one to help! Her father was in the clutches of the most dangerous being alive and there was no one to save him!

"No, no, no,  _no_!" she exclaimed, her eyes watering. "He  _can't_  be gone! He  _can't_!"

Her father was all she had left in this world. Since her mother died, they'd pulled through their grief together! For fifteen years, they'd been taking care of each other! True, lately, she'd been doing most of the caring, but hey, what father-daughter relationship was perfect? He'd been the only one to support her, believe in her capabilities. He was the only reason she'd done anything worthwhile in her life! She couldn't bear the thought of being without him.

She glanced down at the business card on the floor. At the black hat symbol.

Soon, those tears of sadness turned into hot tears of rage. Lita inhaled deeply as she tried to keep her fury at bay, but it was no use. That bastard of a villain had taken away the most important thing in her life. She knew where he lived. She knew what she had to do. It was the only thing she  _could_  do.

"That asshole," she said, wiping her tears on her sleeve, "is going to  _pay_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go with pesos as the currency on Hat Island. As the creator is Mexican, and the episodes were originally aired in Spanish, I imagine Black Hat's island is somewhere off the coast of Mexico. In this fic, the citizens of Hat Island are also bilingual, proficient in Spanish and English, in tribute to how the creator voices Black Hat in the Spanish AND English versions.
> 
> I imagine Black Hat would drive/ride a hearse. It's black and it's related to death. What more is there to say?


	4. Get the Horns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita storms the castle.

 

At some point during the ride in the hearse, Ricardo had passed out. He couldn't remember whether Black Hat had drugged him or he'd fainted from the overwhelming situation. But when he came to, he was in complete darkness. The sack was still over his head. He found that he couldn't move his arms from his sides, as they appeared to be restrained by metal cuffs of some sort.

"Wha—?" he said, his voice muffled by the bag. "Where—?"

"It would appear our  _guest_  is awake, sir," said a male voice he didn't recognize.

"Well then," said the oh-too-familiar voice that made Ricardo shiver. "Let's give him a proper welcome. Shall we?"

At that moment, the sack was removed from his head and Ricardo was face-to-face with…a paper bag and goggles. The bag was attached to a body wearing a lab coat over a blue t-shirt with a picture of an exploding airplane. Ricardo had never met Dr. Flug, as the two of them hadn't worked for Black Hat at the same time, though he recognized him from the commercials. Somehow, the paper-bag-wearing scientist looked a lot less ridiculous in person. Perhaps it was the low lighting, or the fact that Ricardo was lying vertically on what appeared to be an operating table.

"Welcome to Black Hat Manor, Mr. Gris!" Dr. Flug said brightly, pressing his hands together. "I read your file, and I must say the work you did for the organization thirty years ago was quite impressive! However did you manage to steal a model of a B767-300?! That's only the rarest—"

"Flug," Black Hat said. "What are you doing?"

Dr. Flug glanced back at his boss, who had both hands on his cane. His eyebrow was raised, unimpressed.

"I-I was merely, uh…" Sweat started dripping over his bag. "Being ironically chipper? To, uh…throw him off?" He tapped his fingers together nervously. "Too much, sir?"

" _Immensely_." Black Hat used his cane to push the scientist aside. "Move aside, you fool, I'll show you how it's done."

During their exchange, Ricardo had taken in his surroundings. He appeared to be in some sort of lab, though a small one. Blue prints and sticky notes decorated the walls. Ricardo froze as his eyes fell upon a table next to him. On top its purple cloth was an array of menacing-looking tools. Including, but not limited to a scalpel, a drill, a mace, a hacksaw, and syringes. A whole lot of  _really big_  syringes!

There was no doubt this was the end. Ricardo knew he should've never dealt with Black Hat, even before he'd met Linda. He shouldn't have gotten involved with him again, had he not been desperate to save his wife.

His blood ran cold as Black Hat approached the table.

"Welcome to my home, Ricardo," he said mockingly. "I hope you are quite…comfortable."

"Please!" the poor man cried. "Have mercy!"

"Mercy?" Black Hat let out a demonic chuckle. "You act as if you've only just met me, Ricardo." He leaned forward onto his cane, making sure the victim could see his minty-green teeth. "Don't take this as anything personal. I have no grudge against you." He poked the man hard in the chest with his finger. "It's just that  _you_  made a promise to me that you failed to keep. And if there's one thing I simply cannot forgive, it's a broken promise."

"I'll get your money!" Ricardo said, tears coming into his eyes. "Please! I just need a little more time!"

"More time?" Black Hat tsked as he shook his head. "My friend, you've had fifteen years to pay your dues!"

"It wasn't my fault! It was that blasted interest rate!"

He realized his mistake too late as his throat suddenly tightened, preventing him from breathing. Black Hat had his claw-like hand gripping in the air, using his telekinesis to strangle him.

"P-Please!" Ricardo choked. "My daughter…she…has no one…"

Black Hat showed no sign that he cared. "You should've thought about that before putting yourself in debt." He let go of the man's throat, allowing him some air. "But I'm not going to kill you just yet." Moving over to the side, he leaned his elbow onto the table, right beside Ricardo's head. "Oh, no. I'm going to make sure your death is  _slow_  and  _painful_. I'm going to make sure you spend your last moments regretting that you ever double-crossed—"

Suddenly, Flug's tablet, which sat beside his tools, started ringing. Growling in frustration, Black Hat snapped his head towards the scientist as he picked up his tablet. Another thing the villain simply couldn't stand was being interrupted. Especially during an evil monologue.

"Flug!" he shouted, stomping towards his minion. "How many times have I told you to keep your electronics on silent during our torture sessions?!"

"I-It's the intruder alert, sir!" Flug exclaimed, pointing to the tablet screen. "S-Someone just rang the bell to the front gate!"

He pulled up the live feed from the front gate's camera. With a growl, Black Hat snatched the tablet from Flug's hands.

"Who would have the audacity to be ringing  _my_  bell at this hour?!" he hollered, his hands gripping so tight that Flug worried his boss would break his precious tablet.

The unexpected guest was a young woman. Through the black and white footage, Black Hat couldn't make out much of her facial features, but she appeared to be in her mid-20's. Using the gate for scale, he deduced that she was rather short. She wore a zip-up hoodie and dark jeans. A ponytail hung over her backpack. She kept her hands in her hoodie pockets as she waited for someone to open the gate.

"Flug, who in the hell is this?" Black Hat demanded, thrusting the tablet towards the scientist.

"I-I don't know, sir," Flug said, adjusting his goggles as he gazed at the screen. "I've never seen her before. Sh-Should I wake Dementia up? I mean I gave her a heavy dose of tranquilizers, but I could—"

Black Hat groaned. "No, no,  _I'll_  deal with it. I want to make that little worm pay for interrupting me!" Glancing sideways at Mr. Gris, he whispered to Flug, "Don't do anything excruciating until I get back. But…don't make him too comfortable either."

"Understood, sir," Flug said with a salute.

Once Black Hat had stormed out the door—which looked like one you'd find in an airplane—and slammed it behind him, Flug turned his head slowly towards his trembling victim. Ricardo watched in nervous anticipation as the scientist made his way towards what looked like a defibrillator. The poor man's breath quickened as the machine was wheeled up beside him.

"Tell me, Mr. Gris," Dr. Flug said, his goggles glinting as he picked up a pair of suction-cupped electrodes. "Have you any history with electroconvulsive therapy?"

* * *

When Black Hat reached the front door, he glanced up at the security screen hanging above it. The girl was still standing there, pressing the buzzer over and over again. He was  _so_  glad Flug had hooked up the tablet to the front gate's bell so that he wouldn't have to hear that annoying sound over and over.

He really should just go down there and wring that woman's neck for wasting his time. But, in his experience, it was best to know a person's business before outright killing them. Otherwise, he would've lost plenty more clients.

So, walking up to the intercom beside the door, he pressed the speak button and screamed, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

At the gate, Lita jumped back at the sudden voice coming from the intercom. From its furious tone and raspiness, there was no doubt who the voice belonged to.

She looked back up at the massive hat-shaped house on the hill. She wondered if he was watching her through one of those crimson-glass windows.

It probably wasn't a good idea to be angering the most dangerous being in the universe. He was already mad enough. But so was she.

She shouted at the intercom, "My name's Lita Gris! My father's Ricardo Gris! Do you have him in there?"

 _Ah, so_ that's _his daughter_ , Black Hat thought as he watched the woman on the monitor.  _My, how that spunky little brat has grown._

He spoke into the intercom. "And what if I do? What are you going to do about it? Certainly not call the authorities. You know they can't touch me."

Lita fumed as she heard this. "You give him back, right now! Or I'll—"

"You'll  _what_?" he said with a chuckle.

Taking her hands out of her pockets, she faced the intercom fully. "I'm coming in after him!"

Black Hat made sure she could hear his amused laugh.

"I'm not kidding!" she exclaimed.

"My, my, my," he said, smirking at her frustrated image. "Isn't this just sweet? The little girl has come to save her dear, old daddy!"

And here he thought tonight was just going to be a simple debt collection slash torture session. It had just turned into a rescue attempt…one he was going to enjoy foiling. Of course, he doubted she was going to last a minute, but it would be fun to watch her  _try_.

"You have guts, Miss Gris," Black Hat said in a mocking tone. "So, I'll give you a sporting chance and make you a deal. I'll let you in to see your father."

He pressed the button that opened the gate.

Lita stepped back as the gate suddenly swung open. There had to be a catch, because there was no way he would give into her demands this quickly.

"All you have to do," Black Hat said, pressing the big red button next to the intercom, "is ring my doorbell."

Just then, an assortment of machines and guns sprung out of the hat-shaped house. Lasers, cannons, something that looked like a giant squid, all pointed at the stone steps leading up to the mansion. Lita sighed.

"Of  _course_ it wouldn't be that easy."

" _Like my new home security system?_ " said Black Hat's voice over the intercom. " _It's state of the art. The button to turn it off…is right at my fingertip._ "

"I get it," Lita said. "Only way in is straight through."

" _It's not too late to turn back. You'll still see your father…one way or another. Of course, if you'd rather end up in pieces like him—"_

"Will you fucking shut up?! I'm trying to concentrate!"

Inside, Black Hat stiffened at this command. He moved his finger away from the speak button and gazed up at the screen. The girl appeared to be focused, her gaze on the path ahead of her. Her eyes were moving about, as if watching the massive pieces of machinery.

Her reaction to his security system was strange. Why didn't she seem frightened? Or at least surprised?

Meanwhile, Lita was surveying the obstacle course before her. Finding a rock on the ground, she picked it up and threw it ahead. Lasers shot at the rock, a drone with a buzzsaw sweeping down to slice it. If the rock hadn't been so small, it would've been vaporized immediately. That honor went to the shark that leaped out from a trapdoor within the step the rock landed on. Lita made a note to avoid that particular step.

So, everything was triggered by motion and pressure sensors. That much she knew. The squid cannon made her raise an eyebrow, but she suspected it would have a similar effect as the shark.

"It's okay, Lita," she muttered, zipping up her pockets so nothing would fall out. "Just remember what Papi taught you." She knelt down to retie her shoes so that they were tight. "All those years of gymnastics," she said, standing up, "and jewelry heists," and buckling her backpack across her stomach, "have come down to this."

She rolled up her sleeves. "It's been a while," she said, tucking her ponytail into her hoodie before pulling her hood over it, "but a leopard never changes her spots."

Black Hat hadn't been pressing the listen button, so he hadn't heard her speech. But he'd watched her strange ritual. Again, she seemed unphased by the mass weaponry. Not even the shark had made her jump.

It was as if…she had done this before.

She started backing away from the gate, as if to get a running start. Black Hat moved from the door to the window.

"This I have  _got_  to see," he said, genuinely intrigued.

Eyeing the front double doors, Lita crouched down into a starting position, as if she were at a track meet. This was hardly anything like those home invasions, or the store robberies, and she was a little rusty. But her father was counting on her.

So, taking a deep breath, Lita sprang towards the gate, not even slowing down as the lasers started firing at her.

She zigzagged in all directions. She could hear her father saying,  _If you run in a straight path, they'll be sure to hit you. Don't be an easy target for them._

As the drone with the buzzsaw came by, she dropped into a somersault, moving to the left to avoid the trapdoor with the shark.  _I knew it was a good idea to stay in shape._ When she sprang back to her feet, the yard suddenly erupted into flames, the stairs the only safe path. Pressure sensors or not, she was now forced to stay on the steps.

The lasers were still firing, so she flung herself forward into a handspring, followed by a cartwheel. She came up just in time to see another buzzsaw sweeping down, though she couldn't see what kept it up. Ducking down, she went into another somersault.

Black Hat watched this display from the window, his mouth agape. Who  _was_  this girl?!

He should've been furious that she was weaving effortlessly through his security system, yet he couldn't help but be…impressed. True, Flug had done the same thing, but that had been dumb luck, and he had come out looking like a fried paper-bagged chicken. This girl wasn't getting a scratch on her. Except for one laser grazing her shoulder, though it had only gotten her clothing. And she just carried on as if it was nothing.

It seemed that his  _guest_  had been holding out on him. He'd only met Ricardo Gris' brat once. In fact, he remembered how she had kicked him in the shin and run off.

 _Seems she had even more gumption than I'd thought_.

As she went through the last leg of the trek, Black Hat grinned as he rested his finger on the red button.

"Oh, this is going to be  _fun_."

After dodging the last snowball—how he'd managed to get so many kids to throw them, she had no idea—Lita landed on the front porch, panting as she gazed up at the double doors with the circular knockers. She wasted no time in standing up and pressing her finger against the gold button.

 _Wow, that was a rush_.

The doorbell had just started its first tone when one of the double doors, the one closest to her, creaked open. It revealed a darkened hallway. Behind her, she could hear the clanging of metal as the weapons were retracted into the mansion.

Lita gulped, but remembered why she was here. Reaching into her hoodie pocket, she found her switchblade, took it out and tucked it within the cuff of her sleeve. Just in case Black Hat didn't keep his word. Taking in a deep breath, she entered the mansion.

The hallway stretched far ahead of her, the walls reaching up high. The wallpaper was a deep red with a repeated pattern of—naturally—black top hats. Black columns lines these walls, giving the hallway an almost Victorian look.

Before she could fully take in her surroundings, the door slammed behind her, making her jump. The lights started flickering on and off. At the end of the hallway, she could make out a tall, lean figure. She gripped the hilt of her blade.

"Congratulations, Miss Gris," the figure said in that same low, raspy voice that had greeted her on the intercom. "You've made it past my front door."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd recommend listening to the song "Straight On" from the movie Strange Magic, as it was a huge inspiration for this.
> 
> I may have added some details to the mansion's exterior that weren't in the shorts. I realize the teaser trailer shows someone ringing a bell next to the front doors, but given the security system, I doubt anyone can just walk on up and ring the doorbell. But there must also be a way for clients to enter, so I put a buzzer and intercom at the front gate. I also think Flug would've installed a way to turn the security system off after that first incident. And maybe added some new features as he'd managed to survive just by running straight on through. Shark idea was taken from "Despicable Me."
> 
> I think Flug might be my favorite character so far. Though I'm well aware as adorable as he can be...he's not completely innocent. Oh boy, did I love playing with that concept here!


	5. Deal With the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a very deadly deal is struck. Now you'll see the "Beauty and the Beast" inspiration.

The figure lifted its head to reveal a toothy, minty-green smile. It was only there for an instant, for when the lights next went out, the figure was gone. And she was alone in the dark.

No. Not really. As she stepped further into the hallway, she could feel the creature's spinetingling presence.

"I-I know you're there," she said.

Her voice was shaky. Not just because of the dark atmosphere, but the fact that she'd just run a marathon of deathtraps. She had a feeling that had merely been a warm-up.

 _Don't let it show that you're intimidated._ Remembering her own advice to her colleague the other day, she shook her head and tried to keep up her brave front.

"Show yourself!"

There was a low cackle echoing throughout the darkness. "I can smell your fear. No use trying to hide it."

Lita stopped and looked about for the source of the voice. It seemed to be coming from all directions. It sent a chill through her, but she wasn't going to give this creature the satisfaction of frightening her. Taking a deep breath, she straightened up.

"I  _am_  afraid," she said firmly. "But fear is what makes me brave."

"Good answer," the voice said, sounding pleased. "You aren't a complete idiot, it would seem."

Lita wasn't liking this guy already. "Alright, I made it past your stupid little obstacle course. Now where's my father?" She let the blade slide out of its hilt, cradling it between her fingers. "Take me to him. Now."

The voice chuckled. "You think you're in any position to be making demands? Foolish girl. Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?"

"Of course I do," she said flatly. "Everyone knows who you are."

Suddenly, she felt a cool breeze on the back of her neck. Stiffening, Lita realized it was someone's breath. Not warm like most breaths, but cold as ice.

He was standing right behind her.

"Then say the name!" he hissed in her ear.

His voice was like venom. It had her frozen in place. Lita's heartbeat sped fast enough to defy all traffic laws. She knew what this monster was capable of. He could kill her with a mere snap of his fingers. To him, her life was a weak burning candle he could snuff out. Or worse. He could snap her in two, but still have her live long enough to feel the pain. He could make her suffering last as long as he wanted it to.

This thought reminded her that he could do the same to her father. If he was still alive, he was probably suffering unimaginable pain. His life was all that mattered to her.

So, taking in a deep breath and narrowing her eyes, she took a step away from the creature.

"Black Hat," she said, clenching her fists. "But I don't care who you are." Whipping out her knife, she turned to face him at last. "You took my father from me! And I'm not leaving here until you keep your promise and take me to him!"

The silence that followed allowed her time to fully take in the figure standing before her in the dim light from the windows. Black Hat hadn't changed since she'd seen him as a child. He still towered over her, though not as much. Her head came up to his chin, and she looked up at him bravely into his one, intimidating, colorless eye.

Black Hat was stunned. The human had her glaring eyes locked with his. Her nostrils were flaring with anger as she tried to keep her breath under control. She was clearly trying to hide her fear, as the knife was shaking in her hand.

She had a dark appearance. She almost blended as well into the shadows as he did, with her black hair and clothing. But her bright blue eyes shone through it all, burning with fury and fear.

Black Hat relaxed and gave her one of his signature toothy grins. This girl had spirit, but she was no threat.

Lita cried out as something snapped around her wrist, forcing her to drop her knife. She looked down at what appeared to be a black tentacle constricting around her arm! She lifted her gaze back towards Black Hat and saw that the tentacle was coming from his back!

"Very few beings," he said in a low tone, pulling her closer, "have dared to speak to me so boldly," his face was just an inch from hers, "and lived to tell the tale!"

Lita squeaked as the tendril tightened around her wrist. Any tighter, and it could break. Her mask of bravado had fallen away, but she didn't break eye contact with the monster holding her.

"The only reason you've lasted this long, Miss Gris," Black Hat said, the corners of his mouth turning up further so that the sharp points of his teeth were visible, "is because I found your performance out on my lawn quite…impressive." His one dark eyelid drooped halfway over its iris. "But my attention can only be held for so long."

Normally, she would get out of this sort of hold by wrenching her arm through her attacker's thumb. Except his tentacle  _had_ no thumbs! No weak spots! She had to think fast. Her life and her father's depended on it.

"N-Now, hold on!" she said, cursing herself for stammering. "W-We had a deal!" She narrowed her eyes again. "You said if I rang your doorbell, you'd take me to see my father! A-And everyone says, as villainous as you are, you never go back on a promise!"

Black Hat's lips fell over his teeth, but he did not drop the eerie smile. Lita's eyes hurt as she tried to win the staring contest with his one eye. Did this guy even blink?

"You're right, Miss Gris," he said in an amused tone. "Black Hat  _never_  goes back on a promise."

The tentacle slithered out of its hold and Lita cradled her arm, sighing in relief. The tentacle then rose back up, holding her blade out to her. Confused, Lita let the knife fall into her hand. The lights then turned back on, letting her see the villain in full.

Funny. He didn't look as intimidating in the light. Ignore the sinister smile and nose-less face, and he was just an ordinary man in a trench coat, top hat and spats. Although it was the same outfit he'd worn fifteen years ago, as an adult, she couldn't help but find the classic attire almost…dashing.

Lita shook the thought from her head. He was still a villain, after all. One holding her father captive.

"Come," he said, placing his hand on her waist, making her stiffen at his cold touch.

How could a gloved hand feel so cold?

She gasped as she was suddenly pulled to his side, their bodies pressed firmly together.

"Keep close," he whispered teasingly into her ear. "And no funny business. After all, I didn't say anything about seeing your father… _alive_."

She didn't dare ask if he meant her father or her.

As he led her down the hallway, she struggled to keep her brave face. While everything was less nerve-racking in the light, a new feeling was emerging within her.

Disgust. Disgust in the way he was touching her. Her nose crinkled as his bony fingers slid slowly up and down her waist as they walked. Thankfully, they didn't go anywhere below the hip. At least he had  _some_  decency.

She tried not to look at him, but instead focused her attention on the décor. They passed by paintings portraying Black Hat in outfits from different periods. In each portrait, he was grinning creepily, and the eyes seemed to follow her.

The real Black Hat felt her shiver in his hold and followed her gaze with his one eye. "Lifelike, aren't they? Although," he said, tipping his hat to the side, "they pale in comparison to the original."

Lita couldn't help but roll her eyes.  _Someone_ had an ego.

"I have one commissioned every decade or so," he said as they passed by the one of him dressed as a cowboy on horseback.

"Exactly how old are you?" she asked, genuinely curious.

Black Hat chuckled. "Wouldn't  _you_ like to know?"

"Uh…yeah. That's why I asked." They came to the portrait of him in a Victorian robe. "You must be…what? A hundred? Two hundred? Really must give me the name of your plastic surgeon."

He frowned, finding this sudden candidness of hers…odd. He was used to uneasiness from others, especially during first encounters. When Flug had arrived, he'd been an awkward pile of cowardice. When Dementia had arrived, she'd been in a deranged fog. When 5.0.5. had arrived…well, he'd  _hugged_  him, but then had quickly learned Black Hat was a being to be feared.

This girl…he couldn't figure her out. First, she had commanded him. Then, she had threatened him. Now, she was… _bantering_  with him? How could someone be so…well-adjusted around  _him_?

Perhaps it was an act. Yes, that was it. All part of her front to make her appear unafraid. He would've been fully convinced if she didn't reek of fear. It was…admirable, he would admit. Cute, even.

Yet unnerving, because  _she_  wasn't as unnerved as she should be. He had to make her uncomfortable somehow, or else he might have to be forced to make…casual conversation.

Realizing his hand was still on her waist, he got an idea. Smirking, his slid his hand down a little further, resting on her thigh.

"Hey!" she cried out, slapping his hand. "Don't get fresh with me, scumbag!"

Black Hat retracted his hand, grinning in spite of her reaction. Normally, he would've vaporized her for striking him, if it hadn't been a result of her discomfort, as had been his intention. He hadn't  _really_  meant to do anything. Villain as he was, he was still a gentleman. Besides, carnal indulgences were beneath him. Though he had enjoyed watching her…fiery response.

"I must say, Miss Gris," he said, moving his hand to her shoulder. "You're certainly making my evening… _entertaining_."

She scowled at his hand, but didn't do anything this time, thinking she'd already pushed her luck enough. At least the shoulder was better than her waist.

"I didn't come here to  _entertain_  you," Lita said he led her to an old-fashioned elevator.

"Of course," Black Hat said, pressing the button to open up the rickety, old cage. "Have patience, my dear. Your father isn't far." He scoffed. "Assuming my doctor hasn't…gone overboard in my absence."

* * *

Once the electric currents had finished passing through him, Ricardo panted in exhaustion. The electrodes on his forehead, chest and arms were burning, his brain felt like it was buzzing and his heart was beating rapidly.

"So, Mr. Gris," Flug said, casually writing notes on his clipboard, "how did that last one make you feel?"

Ricardo only whimpered in response.

"Interesting." After jotting something down, he placed his rubbered fingers on the shock machine's dial. "Let's see what happens when we turn the voltage up by five."

"Please…" Ricardo wheezed. "No…more…"

"Oh, relax, Mr. Gris. This won't be enough to kill you." He gave him a blank look through his goggles. "We don't want that happening just yet."

Ricardo shut his eyes, preparing for the next shock. His life flashed before him. Oh, how he'd wasted it all, especially the last five years. He regretted leaning on Lita for so long, forcing her to make adult decisions at such a young age. She had never reprimanded him for it, but he still wished he could have been the father she deserved.

On the bright side, he might be reunited with Linda soon. Assuming he ended up in the same place. And at least his daughter was safe. Surely Black Hat would have no reason to bother her with him gone. Ricardo just wished he could see her face one last time.

Just then, the airlock door opened up. "Papi?"

Thinking he must be imagining things, Ricardo opened his eyes. "Lita?"

His daughter stood in the doorway, Black Hat's arm around her. For a moment, Ricardo felt a rush of anger.  _If that bastard dared touch her…_

"You have five minutes," Black Hat whispered to her in a growl. "Make them count."

"Papi!" Lita cried, breaking away from the villain to rush over to her father.

Flug looked up from his clipboard in confusion. "What the…?"

She took Ricardo's pudgy face in her hands. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"Lita, what are you doing here?" her father asked, fearing for her safety. "You can't be here!"

"I couldn't just—"

"Excuse me!" Flug said, placing a hand on his hip as he marched up behind the woman. "You can't just barge in here and—"

"Now, now, Flug," Black Hat said, waving his hand dismissively as he walked up to his side. "Let them have their little father-daughter moment."

The scientist looked at him, perplexed. "W-Why, sir?"

"Miss Gris and I made a little bargain," Black Hat whispered before turning to Lita. "Four minutes and twenty seconds."

Once Lita had noticed the electrodes sticking to her father's skin, she darted her eyes at the villains. "What have you done to him?!"

Black Hat glanced at Flug. "What  _did_  you do to him? He's shaking like a maraca!"

"Oh, nothing much yet," Flug said with a shrug. "Just sent about fifty volts throughout his body." He checked his notes. "As expected, his heartrate accelerated by about twenty bpm."

Lita couldn't believe they were talking about this so nonchalantly. "Let him go! He didn't do anything to you!"

They both turned to the woman. Flug gulped, knowing what his boss did to people who dared to command him. But the only emotion Black Hat expressed was amusement as he grinned at her.

"So," he said, glancing at Ricardo, "you didn't tell your daughter about our little…arrangement?"

"What's he talking about?" Lita asked her father.

Black Hat folded his arms behind his back. "You wish to tell her, or shall I?"

"Leave her out of this!" Ricardo pleaded. "This is between you and me!"

"Very well, then," Black Hat said, turning to the girl. "Your father borrowed a large sum of money from me. While he's been making steady payments over the last fifteen years—with the exception of the last three months—he has yet to pay in full. Not to mention the months of protection fees he's missed."

Suddenly understanding what those one hundred thousand pesos had been for, Lita looked at her father in a mixture of disbelief and fury. "You…you took out a loan…from  _Black Hat_?!"

"I had to!" Ricardo said, his eyes watering.

"Good god, Papi!" She smacked herself in the forehead. "Why? What were you  _thinking_?!What could you possibly have needed all that money for?!"

Locking gaze with her, he whispered, "Your…your mother…the cancer, but…the treatment didn't work and…the funeral costs…"

Lita's anger quickly disappeared. Of course. He'd done it to save her mother. For that, she couldn't blame him.

"You…" She looked down at her feet. "You could've told me. I…I would've brought in more! I wouldn't have stopped…" She sniffed. "It's  _my_  fault you never paid him back."

"No,  _mija_ ," Ricardo said, wishing he could embrace her. "I should've told you, but I didn't want you to worry." He sighed. "Now…it seems I've dug my own grave."

Lita glared back at her father's captor. "What's a few pesos to you? Aren't you the richest man on the island?"

"Technically," Flug said, adjusting his goggles, "Mr. Black Hat is the richest being within a two-hundred-lightyear radius."

She couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the scientist.

"Very true," Black Hat said proudly. "However, it is not a matter of money, but of principle." His eye narrowed at Ricardo. "I do not tolerate broken deals, no matter how small. Which reminds me," he said glancing back at Lita, "you have one more minute."

"Lita," Ricardo said hoarsely, "go."

She turned to him, struggling to hold back her tears. "Papi…I can't just leave you here. Do…do you have any idea what I went through to get to you?"

"And I couldn't be prouder," he said with a small smile. "Your mother would be proud too, of the woman you've become. But you must go now, while he's giving you the chance."

"Smartest thing he's said all night," Black Hat grumbled.

"But Papi—" Lita started to say.

"Go!" Ricardo shouted. "Go. Live your life."

She blinked. "Live my life? Papi, you  _are_  my life!"

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she let her few escaped tears fall onto his shoulder.

"Everything…" she whispered, "everything I ever did…since mom…has been for  _you_."

Ricardo's smile faded. "And look at how I've repaid you for that. Now…now it's my turn to make the sacrifice."

Whimpering, she shook her head. "I won't let you!"

Black Hat gagged at their disgusting display of affection. Flug, meanwhile, was trying to hide his own tears from his boss. This visitation had to end now before things got too mushy.

"Time's up," Black Hat said, lashing out a tentacle.

Lita yelped as she was suddenly wrenched away from her father. She reached out to him in desperation.

"I said you'd see him," Black Hat said, dropping her to the floor. "Now you've seen him. Wipe away those pathetic tears and I'll escort you out."

That was enough to snap whatever had been holding the young woman together. Any anger she'd had towards her father's mistake was now directed at the monster holding him captive.  _He_  was to blame, not her father.

Not caring about the consequences, Lita sprung up and whipped out her blade, pointing it at Black Hat's neck. Squeaking in shock, Flug dropped his clipboard and backed into the equipment table.

"I'm not leaving without my father!"

"What are you, crazy?!" Flug exclaimed, glancing anxiously between the girl and the demon.

"Unless I get what is owed to me," Black Hat said, unfazed by her threat, "your father is not going anywhere."

Lita paused to think. "How much does he owe you? Maybe I can pay it!"

He smirked, deciding to humor her. "Flug?"

"Oh, uh," Dr. Flug said, picking up his tablet. "W-With interest increasing over the last fifteen years, and the amount of missed protection payments, Mr. Gris owes us…" He swiped his screen. "Five hundred thousand pesos."

Lita looked over to her father. " _Five hundred thousand pesos_?!"

"I was desperate!" he cried. "And after the mortgage payments and electric bills—"

"We'll talk about this later!" She turned back to Black Hat. "Let him go, now! Or I'll slice you open and gut you like a fish!"

Flug stared at the girl in disbelief. "Do you have a  _death wish_?!"

He was sure his boss was going to slash her throat or something. Instead, Black Hat merely shook his head and laughed.

"I've destroyed  _hundreds_  of heroes who  _dared_  challenge me," he said, leaning towards her. "Heroes with abilities that  _far_ surpassed yours." His grin turned into a frown, accompanied by a scowl. "So, what makes you think," he said, batting her knife away with a tentacle, as if it were a pesky fly, "you stand a chance," Lita backed away as he seemed to grow in size, his teeth sticking out over his bottom lip, "against  _ME_?"

Everything in the room seemed to flash red as he said that last word, the image of a red skull reflecting in Black Hat's monocle. Shrieking, Flug hid behind his tablet. Lita resisted the urge to do the same as she stared up at the demonic being.

She knew what she had done was stupid. Who had she been kidding? She couldn't fight this thing! Not even with all her martial arts knowledge!

There had to be another way to save her father. But how?

"Our deal was," Black Hat growled, his voice even deeper now as several tentacles sprouted up from behind him, "you ring my doorbell, you see your father. You've seen him, so I suggest you leave while I'm still feeling… _charitable_."

Wait. Deal. That was it.

She'd been approaching this the wrong way, threatening him. Instead of thinking like a thug, she should've been thinking like a salesperson. Without the chipper attitude.

"Y-You like making deals!" Lita said, squaring her shoulders. "What if I offered you something better than five hundred thousand pesos?"

Black Hat laughed, sounding like Godzilla watching a sitcom. "And what could you, a meek little mortal, possibly offer me that's worth more than money?"

Lita glanced at her father, fearing for what she was about to do. It was completely reckless, but she knew one thing was for certain.

With her father gone, she'd have nothing left to live for.

So, facing the demon, her eyebrows laced together in determination, she clenched her fists and spoke boldly, "My life. In exchange for my father's."

"Lita, no!" her father shouted.

Black Hat went silent. Flug cautiously lowered his tablet in time to see his boss shrink back to his normal form. He stared at the young woman, stroking his chin in thought. Then, placing both hands behind his back, he began circling her.

Lita remained still as she felt his one eye inspect her from all angles. She held back a squeal in her throat when he suddenly grabbed her upper arm, seeming to feel it up. Out of instinct, she slapped his hand and backed away. That probably wasn't smart. And yet, he didn't appear angry. Instead, he grinned toothily, his half-lidded gaze fixated on her.

Black Hat was intrigued with this girl. She had a fire in her very few possessed. Not only had she made it past his impossible security system with barely a scratch, but she was brave enough to stand up to him. Foolish, but brave. And from what he'd felt from her arm, she didn't lack in physical strength either.

He wondered if she'd be as good a thief as her father had once been.

But, business man that he was, he mustn't appear  _too_  interested. Straightening up, he refolded his hands behind his back.

"And what makes  _you_  more valuable than your pathetic wretch of a father here?" Black Hat said, tilting his head towards the man on the table. "What's to stop me from killing you  _both_?"

Lita gulped. Of course, he wasn't the sort of creature to jump into a deal without some sort of negotiation. And he had a point. Even if she took her father's place, there was still the matter of protection money. And she knew her father wouldn't be able to make any future payments. Black Hat could find some other excuse to kill him.

If she could convince him that this was enough, better than what he'd wanted in the first place…

"D-Death," she said, her lip trembling, "is too…merciful a punishment." Clearing her throat, she tried to sound more professional. "Once a person's dead, their problems are all over. But…if you take away the thing that person loves most," she locked eyes with her father's, which were filled with tears, "he'll suffer…the rest of his life…without her."

She attempted to hold back her own tears, thinking of how agonizing her life would be without her father.

Black Hat was pleased with her answer.  _This girl thinks almost like a villain._  But he wasn't done bargaining yet.

"You make a fair point," he said, folding his arms across his chest. "Though if that were the case, death might be too merciful for  _you too_."

 _Shoot, he called my bluff._  Lita had to think of something else.

"Then  _don't_  kill me!" she said rapidly. "Do what you like with me! Imprison me! Torture me! Chop off my freaking hands, anything!"

" _Anything?_ " Black Hat said with a gleeful growl, his monocle gleaming.

 _Oh man, shouldn't have said that_. But it was true. She  _would_  do anything. After all, what point was there if she just went back home without her father? She had no job. It might be ages before she found another one. Unless she went back to stealing again…

Wait. That was it.

"I'll steal for you!" she blurted out.

"You?" Flug said, his tablet completely lowered now. "Steal?"

"You saw how I dodged your dumb lasers and buzz-saws," Lita said, taking a bold step towards Black Hat. "I can get past any security system. Jewelry store, museum, bank. Take your pick."

Of course, she was exaggerating a little, but Black Hat was leaning forward in interest. She almost had him.

"Just tell me what you want and I can get it for you." She crossed her arms, matching his stance. "Don't believe me? Look up my prison records. I'll bring in even more money than what my father owes you."

" _Now_  you're speaking my language!" Black Hat exclaimed, pressing his fingertips together. "Alright then, Miss Gris." He moved to her side, placing his arm around her and gripping her shoulder tightly. "Let's discuss the terms of your…employment."

With a snap of his fingers, a glowing contract appeared floating before them. Lita skimmed through the text.  _Hereby surrender my soul…so party of the first part…all eternity…yada, yada, yada…_

"Feel free to read it through," Black Hat said, making a black dip pen appear in his free hand. "But to put it simply, you work for me, your father lives."

She glared sideways at him. "How do I know you won't just have some 'accident' happen to him afterwards? Or something else happens because he's not paying for your 'protection?'"

 _Bah! Clever girl._ With a groan, Black Hat snapped his fingers, making a slight revision to the text.

"There," he said flatly. "As long as your father lives, you work for me. Therefore, should he perish by my hand, or any other's, our contract will be null and void."

"Lita, don't do this!" Ricardo cried. "Don't throw your life away for me! I'm old! I've lived my life!"

These cries only solidified her decision. Without reading the rest of the contract, Lita reached for the pen in Black Hat's hand. His grin widening, he snatched her wrist and pressed the pen's point deep into her fingertip. Lita yelped as the skin was broken and blood dripped from her finger, onto the contract. Her signature then magically appeared, as red as her blood.

Black Hat cackled in triumph as the contract rolled up neatly and poofed into thin air. "Welcome to Black Hat Organization."

"Lita…" Ricardo said in disbelief.

He didn't get to finish his thought as Black Hat's tentacles swiftly unlocked his restraints and wrapped around his body.

"Flug!" Black Hat barked to the scientist, who responded with a nervous salute. "Take our latest recruit to one of the spare bedrooms." The rest he said under his breath. "The  _least_  lethal one."

"Lita!" Ricardo cried as he was carried out the door. "Not my daughter! Please, spare her!"

But she couldn't look at him. If she did, more than one tear would be escaping from her eye. She wiped the lone one away before anyone could see it. Her father's cries were silenced as Black Hat slammed the large metal door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other inspiration comes from Dracula and Lisa's first meeting in the "Castlevania" Netflix series. Hope Black Hat wasn't OOC here. While he does have a temper, I imagine when it comes to business and making deals he shows some restraint. All his clients would end up dead otherwise.
> 
> Critique is welcome.


	6. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita settles into her new "home."

"I…can't believe you just did that," Dr. Flug said, once he was alone with the woman.

Lita hung her head. "Neither can I."

In fact, the last few minutes had been a lot for both of them to process. In Flug's case, not only had his boss  _not_  vanquished the intruder, but he had let their prisoner go  _and_  recruited a new member to their team. He'd learned not to question Black Hat's decisions, but it was still weird that no one had died in all the chaos that had recently unfolded.

In Lita's case, she had just literally signed her soul away to the closest thing in this world to the Devil. Not that she was really religious, but this whole ordeal was still pretty Faustian. Point was that she'd just given up her freedom for her father's sake. Was he even going to be okay, without her there to help pay the bills? She hadn't really thought this through.

After a long period of awkward silence, Flug straightened up and adjusted his goggles.

"Yes, well," he said, tucking his tablet under his arm. "Mr. Black Hat's ordered that I get you settled into your room."

She looked over at him in confusion. "Room?"

"Yes, of course," he said, walking up to her. "If you're going to be living here, you're going to need a place to sleep, aren't you?'

She bit her lip. "I, uh…just thought that, uh…"

"You thought what?" he asked, cocking his head.

She couldn't help but find the blank look of his paper bag and goggles…creepy. Shaking it off, she replied, "You know, that I'd be…chained to a wall or something?"

Flug glanced over at the examination table. "Oh,  _that_. We only do that for prisoners and test subjects. You are here as an employee, which means you'll receive room and board like the rest of us."

"Huh," Lita said, unsure of how to respond.

"However," the scientist said, moving in front of her, "given the fact that you burst into my lab and threatened my boss with a knife, I have very little reason to trust you. So…"

He held out his hand. Understanding, Lita let out a sigh and took off her backpack.

"Fair enough," she said, dropping the strap into his hand.

Once Flug had slung the bag over his shoulder, he held out his hand again. "Pockets?"

Rolling her eyes, Lita unzipped her hoodie pockets and turned them out. With much reluctance, she surrendered her wallet, her cellphone and her house keys. Flug held up his other hand when she took out a packet of tissues.

" _Those_  you can keep." To make things easier, he dropped the confiscated items into Lita's bag before holding out his palm a third time. "Your jeans?"

"I never keep anything in my jeans."

He gave her an incredulous look.

"No, seriously." She demonstrated by backflipping into a handstand, surprising him. "See? Easy for things to fall out if I keep them in my jeans!"

Flug shook off his amazement as she jumped back onto her feet. "Very well then. Follow me."

After slipping his tablet into his lab coat, he walked towards the door. Lita kept a few paces behind him.

"Ah-ah-ah," Flug said, gently grabbing her arm to pull her up to his side. "Up here where I can see you, if you don't mind." He noticed her eyeing her backpack. "Don't worry. You'll get this back once I check through it." He picked up her switchblade from the floor. "Just so you know, though," he said, slipping the knife into his front pocket, "you might not get  _everything_  back."

Dr. Flug was definitely…different from his boss. There was no doubt he was evil, as not ten minutes ago he'd been electrocuting her father, but he was at least more…polite, to say the least. And despite the fact that his face was hidden, he was definitely less unsettling. Plus, he wasn't touching her in any weird ways.

Needless to say, Lita already preferred his company over Black Hat's.

The two of them were silent for a while as they walked out of the torture chamber and through the lab, which, Lita had concluded, was within the crashed airplane on the roof. Once they were inside the old-fashioned elevator and going down, Flug glanced sideways at her.

"W-What you did," he stammered, "back there. That…that was very brave."

She looked back at him. He sounded like he genuinely meant it.

"Thanks," she replied softly.

He turned his gaze back to the moving floors in front of them. "It was also really stupid."

She sighed. "I know. But what else could I do? He's my father."

"You realize he could've killed you," Flug said bluntly. "Black Hat…rarely shows mercy." The elevator stopped and the gate opened up. "You got lucky."

"If  _that's_  lucky…" Lita said as they stepped off the elevator.

"You don't wanna see him when he's in a  _really_  bad mood," Flug said, leading her down a green hallway. "But as long as you do as he says, as long as you don't challenge him, you'll survive here." He looked suspiciously at her. "And don't even think of attempting to escape. Even if you manage to succeed, there are security cameras hidden all over the place." He glanced nervously up at a portrait of his boss. "Except the bathrooms, for obvious reasons. So, I would recommend changing clothes in there. Though I would  _not_  recommend trying to flush yourself down the toilet."

"Aw, phooey," Lita said sarcastically.

"Mr. Black Hat will give you the finer details in the morning. But the basic rules of this house are that no one leaves without Black Hat's permission, no leaking sensitive information about the organization—especially on social media—and, most importantly, never disobey the boss, or else suffer the consequences."

She noted his cryptic tone. "Guess those rules apply to you too, eh?"

He shrugged. "They apply to everyone under this roof."

"What's his dirt on you, then?"

"Excuse me?" Flug said, turning to her.

Folding her hands behind her back, she said, "He's gotta have  _something_  against you to make you work here."

He gazed at the path ahead of them. "Not  _everyone_  gets coerced into evil. For some of us, it just comes…naturally."

Lita wondered what he meant by that, but decided not to question it further as the scientist didn't sound like he wanted to get into it. Maybe it had something to do with that paper bag over his head. Glancing at a portrait of Black Hat riding a ghostlike horse in a cowboy getup, she figured she should lighten the melancholic mood a bit.

"Man," she said, forcing a laugh, "does your boss love himself, or what?"

Flug raised an eyebrow at her.

"Seriously," she said, gesturing to the walls. "How many self-portraits does one guy need? Not to mention all the black top hats everywhere! I mean…shit. Hope that hat is big enough to hold that big head of his."

Flug stifled a giggle, but then glanced around in panic. "I-I would be careful saying that sort of thing out loud! I-If  _he_  hears you…"

Lita huffed. "He already has my soul. What more can he do to me?"

He stared at her in disbelief. "Um,  _kill_  you? Or worse. He could rip your intestines out and use them as a jump rope."

For some reason, she couldn't help but snicker at the image, which confused Flug even more.

"I'm serious," he said. "Don't think he's going to go easy on you because you're a woman."

"Nice to know he's not sexist," she muttered.

He stopped a moment, narrowing his eyes at her. "Is this all some big joke to you?"

"It's my way of coping, okay?!" she snapped, darting her eyes at him.

"Eep!" Flug squeaked, flinching at her outburst.

Relaxing, Lita let out a sigh. "Just…let's just get to my room, okay? It's been a long day."

Flug watched in bewilderment as she continued ahead of him. He didn't dare admit it aloud, but she…kind of scared him. Her temper was so short, so sudden, and  _wow_ , could she ever be nasty! She almost reminded him of…well, his boss.

Realizing that he was supposed to be leading the way, Flug quickly caught up to the woman.

"It's not  _all_  bad," he said reassuringly. "Mr. Black Hat is a fair boss. Well…when he  _wants_  to be." He perked up. "But you'll get three square meals a day and free use of all Black Hat products!"

"Oh, joy," Lita said, rolling her eyes. "I've always wanted my own death ray."

"Oh! We just released a travel-sized death ray! I can hook you up once Black Hat approves of your weapons-wielding privileges—"

"Jesus Christ, I was  _kidding_!"

"Eep!" Flug glanced around anxiously. "D-Don't s-say that…" he whispered, "that  _name_  in this house!"

She blinked. "What? J—?"

He quickly covered her mouth. "Don't! Trust me! You're better off saying the F-word! But  _never_  the J-word, C-word  _or_  G-word!"

"Okay, okay!" Lita exclaimed, swiping his hand away. "Jes—I mean  _geez_ , relax!" She grumbled under her breath. "Never been gladder to be atheist."

Flug sighed in relief. "You really need to watch that mouth of yours. Black Hat has incinerated people for saying  _less_." He pointed a finger at her. "So, no talking back to him."

She frowned at this. "I've been talking back to him all night. Not that I'm complaining, but how come I'm not a pile of ash?"

He shrugged. "You must've amused him. If a, err, victim keeps him entertained long enough, he'll let them live a little longer. But…"

"His interest doesn't last long," she said, remembering Black Hat's earlier words.

"Exactly. So I wouldn't push your luck. Ah, here we are."

They came to a red oak door. Flug reached inside his lab coat and pulled out a key, its bow a skull wearing a black top hat.

"Skeleton key," Lita murmured as Flug turned the key in the lock. "I get it."

"Many of these guest rooms are filled with deathtraps," Flug said in an inappropriately chipper tone. "Made especially for… _unwanted_  guests. So I wouldn't go exploring, if I were you. But don't worry." He pushed open the door. "This one's perfectly safe."

She glanced at him. "You sure?"

He nodded. "Black Hat ordered that I show you to the least lethal room. Only thing remotely lethal about this one is the amount of dust." As if embarrassed, he rubbed the back of his neck. "We…weren't expecting company, you see. Company we didn't want dead, anyway."

Deciding she'd had enough of his…nonchalant grimness, Lita stepped into the room. For a moment, she was awestruck at its size. The ceiling was so high, one could fit an elephant in here. Flug flipped a switch on the wall, illuminating the crystal chandelier.

The old-fashioned furniture made the room look like something out of  _Downton Abbey_. A queen-sized canopy bed with golden comforters, a tri-mirrored vanity, a huge mahogany wardrobe, a beautifully patterned carpet matching the red wallpaper…it took her breath away.

Though Flug had been right, there were dust and cobwebs everywhere. And there were no windows.  _So guests can't escape_ , she figured.

"What do you think?" the scientist asked, sounding like he genuinely wished to know.

Shaking off her amazement, Lita shrugged. "Eh. Beats juvie."

"I can get 5.0.5. to clean it out in the morning, if you don't mind sleeping in an asthmatic nightmare." He paused. "You're not asthmatic, are you?"

"No," she said, turning to him. "This…this'll be fine."

"Good!" Flug exclaimed, happily clapping his hands together. "Well, I'll leave you to it, then! I'll come to let you out when the boss is ready for you."

"Wait," Lita said as the scientist put his hand on the doorknob. "Let me  _out_?"

Seeing him take the skeleton key out of his coat, she realized what he was about to do. She sprang to the door, but was too late. Flug had already shut the door, and she could hear the key turning in the lock.

Letting out an exhausted sigh, Lita leaned back against the door and sank to the ground. She lay her head back as she thought about all that had happened tonight. It wasn't her first time being locked up. It wasn't her first time dealing with dangerous people. But juvie, the pickpockets, the assaulters, they all seemed pretty small compared to this.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. This new room was a step up from her old one. Certainly a step up from the jail cell. And hey, she had a job now.

But she was going to be stealing again, after working so hard to turn her life around. Ten years of rehabilitation, out the window. And for the most dangerous criminal alive, no less. Along with his slightly less dangerous—but  _still_  dangerous—mad scientist and…what was her name? That crazy lizard-girl who'd sometimes interrupt Black Hat's commercials? Dementia, right. She wasn't looking forward to meeting her either.

Then again…didn't Lita sort of  _belong_  with these people? After all, she wasn't innocent either. Not only had she stolen from others countless times, but she'd beat up and slashed people in the streets. Out of defense, yes, but it was not like she'd ever called an ambulance for those lowly criminals.

But Black Hat didn't do things out of basic necessity. He did it for…what, money? Money he didn't even need! Or was it just for the pure pleasure of it? Yes, that was the difference between her and these people. Everything she'd ever done had been to protect herself, and her father. It had never been for leisure.

At least…that's what she kept telling herself.

And what about her father? Would he make it back home safely? Would he make it without her? What must he think of her right now?

Lita sniffed as she opened her eyes, and found herself staring up at a huge portrait of Black Hat. She narrowed her gaze at it, wanting to tear that painted, smug grin off his stupid face!

The one painted eye directed at her then reminded her of the security cameras. Not wanting to give that bastard the satisfaction of seeing her cry, she stood up and looked around the room. In the corner was a small golden door with a glass knob. It could only be the bathroom.

She held back the tears until she was safely inside.

* * *

Ricardo Gris cradled his head as he slowly came to. Once his vision was clear, he found himself in his armchair at home. He looked around anxiously. Had all that been a dream? There was only one way to be sure.

"Lita," he murmured, springing to his feet.

He'd stood up too soon, however, and his head started to spin. He didn't care though as he raced up the stairs. When he threw the door to Lita's bedroom open, he was met with a shocking sight.

The room was completely empty. All his daughters' pictures and posters had been torn off the walls, leaving only the hooks and pieces of tape. The dresser drawers were wide open and bare, as was the closet. Her exercise equipment, her laptop, her books, they were all gone! All that remained was the furniture and bedding.

It was as if…his daughter had never lived here.

Ricardo fell to his knees in horror. It had not been a dream then. He had her. That demon of a creature had his daughter.

And it was all Ricardo's fault.

If he hadn't dealt with Black Hat, if he hadn't retired from thievery, his daughter would still be here! He had tried to save his wife…at the cost of his own daughter.

What kind of father was he? What kind of father was he that he couldn't protect his own daughter? He had only stopped stealing because Lita had wanted to stop. He hadn't wanted to tempt her out of her decision. Unfortunately, with his record being much worse than Lita's, he'd been unable to find an honest job, forced to stay at home and waste away, turning to drink and the comfort of his television set. Leaving Lita with all the responsibility, including taking the punishment for his mistakes.

But there was a glimmer of hope yet. Black Hat had no intention of killing her yet, that much he knew. She'd merely signed up to be his lackey. And Ricardo knew she was a skilled enough thief to satisfy Black Hat enough to let her live. But for how long? Black Hat had a short temper. She could slip up once and that'd be the end of her!

Ricardo had to find a way to get her out of this place. But how?

His first thought was to run downstairs, pick up his cellphone and dial the police.

" _Hat Island Police Department_ ," a male voice said. " _How may we be of assistance?_ "

"Yes, please!" Ricardo said. "Help! My daughter, she's being held captive by Black Hat!"

" _Black Hat?_ " There was a sigh. " _Sorry, buddy. But your daughter's pretty much screwed._ "

"How can you say that?! Please, you're the police! You must be able to do something!"

" _Look, buddy. We've lost enough cops just trying to give that guy a fucking parking ticket. It's a lost cause. You might wanna try the Hero Organization. Here, I'll give ya the number_."

"Thank you," Ricardo said, getting a pen and paper to write the number down.

" _Sorry about your daughter, sir._ "

The cop then hung up.

"Now I remember why I never went into law enforcement," Ricardo said, dialing 1-800-HERO.

A female computerized voice answered this time. " _You've reached the Hero Organization! If you've been a victim of a robbery and or home invasion, press one! If you're dealing with a supervillain, press two! If that supervillain is Black Hat, hang up right now! It's a lost cause!_ "

Ricardo felt like crying. "Can  _no one_  help my daughter?"

He knew it was true though. He knew what Black Hat was capable of. Oh, how he worried about Lita being anywhere near that monster! Never mind that he was also a  _male_ …

His chubby hand closed around his phone in anger. He would not let that monster defile his daughter!

But what could  _he_  do? He couldn't possibly save her on his own.

Unless…he came up with the money to pay off the loans. But how? He was in no shape to get a job, let alone steal.

One thing was for sure. If he was going to be of any help to his daughter, he was going to have to step up and be the father she deserved.

Decidedly, he picked the beer cans off the floor and threw them in the trash. He did the same with the full cans stocked in the fridge. He then got a broom and swept up the glass from the broken picture frame. Taking out the photo, Ricardo stared at the image of his wife and daughter and kissed them both.

Lita was a strong girl. She could hold her own for a little while. In the meantime, he was going to get his life together. He would come up with the money somehow.

"First thing's first," he said, throwing open the living room closet in search of his old weights. "Get into shape."

* * *

At first, Dr. Flug didn't notice his boss entering his lab, as his goggled eyes were glued to the screen of his computer.

"Flug!"

The scientist squeaked as he spun around in his rolling chair. He quickly saluted, his chair still slowly spinning as he attempted to keep his eyes on Black Hat.

"What are you still doing up?" his boss demanded, walking up to him with his hands behind his back.

"J-Just," Flug said, stopping his chair by placing his foot on the floor, "d-d-doing research on our latest recruit."

Black Hat looked at the screen in interest. "And what did you find?"

"Well, sir," Flug said, turning back to his computer. "Her full name is Adelita Anders Gris. Twenty-five years old, five-foot-six, one-hundred-thirty-pounds, which in metrics is—"

"Skip the useless facts!" Black Hat barked.

"Eep!" The scientist opened another window. "Well, I managed to locate her resumé, which wasn't hard given how many job sites she's submitted it to. She has so much work experience, her resumé's eight pages long!"

His boss cocked his head. "Work experience in  _what_ , exactly?"

"Well…pretty much everything. At least the minimum wage jobs. Movie theaters, clothing stores, restaurants, construction sites…she hasn't stayed at any of them for more than six months in the last ten years. Which is unsurprising, given her criminal record and lack of a high school degree."

"Criminal record, you say?" Black Hat said, leaning onto Flug's desk. "So, she wasn't bluffing then?"

"It would seem so, sir."

He pulled up a screenshot of an old news article. On it was the black-and-white mugshot of a teenage girl wearing a dark hoodie. Her light eyes were looking straight at the camera, holding a mixture of shame and fury. The title read:  _Teenage burglar arrested._

Black Hat didn't need to read the article to know the identity of the girl.

Flug summed up the article. "She was arrested at fifteen while invading a home. According to the police reports, this wasn't her first burglary. Her DNA was found at seven other crime scenes. They just hadn't found a match until her arrest. She was in the juvenile detention center for about a week until bail was posted by her father. Shortly afterwards, she dropped out of school and started working."

"Interesting," Black Hat said, rubbing his chin as he stared at the mugshot.

He now recalled when he'd first met Lita Gris. After he'd tried to tempt her with a lollipop—he'd intended to give her a surprise scare once she was close—not only had she slapped the candy away but she'd kicked him in the shin. Normally, he would've incinerated her on the spot, but he couldn't help but admire the child's gumption.

"That little brat of yours has more backbone than you, Gris," Black Hat had said to the father. "Perhaps  _she_  should be the one thieving instead of you. My youth camp is accepting applications."

While Ricardo had refused his offer to send her to camp, it seemed he'd taken Black Hat's advice after all.

"Looks like I've been doing business with the wrong Gris," he said, grinning in satisfaction. "And here I was, searching for a competent thief to run my errands, and she turns up in my own front yard!"

"But are we sure she's evil enough, sir?" Flug asked. "Aside from that one arrest, her record's pretty much clean. Not even a parking violation. Well," he said, glancing at the black wallet on his desk, "that might have to do with the fact that she has no driver's license. But still, it looks like she hasn't stolen anything in ten years."

"That we know of, anyway," Black Hat said, pressing his fingertips together. "Whatever her current moral code may be, she is still a soul desperate to keep her father safe. As long as I have that against her, she'll do whatever I ask of her."

"I suppose you're right," Flug said, pulling up the video feed of Lita's battle with the security system from earlier. "At any rate, I can see why you took her offer. She at least has the basic skills we've been looking for, though nothing superhuman from what I've seen."

"Which reminds me." The demon directed his one eye towards the scientist. "Considering how  _easy_  it was for a mere mortal girl with no superhuman abilities to infiltrate our lair…"

He slammed his hands onto the desk, causing Flug to jump. Black Hat growled, bearing his teeth at the scientist.

"YOU CLEARLY NEED TO UPGRADE THAT SECURITY SYSTEM!"

"I-I'll start working on it right away, sir!" Flug said with a squeak.

"No," Black Hat said, slowly calming down. "First thing I want you to do is construct a tracking device for Miss Gris. If she manages to escape, as I suspect she will, I'll need to know her location at all times."

Flug saluted. "Right away, sir!"

He rolled his chair away to get to his worktable. Black Hat turned back to the screen, watching Lita as she dodged the lasers and buzz saws. While she was clearly panting from exhaustion, there was something in her eyes to suggest that she was…enjoying herself. Leaning his elbow onto the desk, Black Hat gave a toothless grin as he indulged in the impressive acrobatic display.

"Oh, Lita Gris," he said, chuckling deeply in his throat, "I'll make a villain out of you yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hero Organization? Hero League? Fandom can't seem to decide.
> 
> Oh boy is Flug's dialogue ever fun to write!


	7. It's Not All Black And White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita is called into Black Hat's office.

A knock on the door awoke Lita. In her emotional exhaustion, she hadn't even made it to the bed, and had ended up crying herself to sleep on the bathroom floor.

"Miss Gris?" Flug called from outside, knocking again. "Are you in there?"

"Y-Yeah," Lita said, struggling to rise. "J-Just a minute."

Turning on the sink, she splashed some water in her face to wash away the grime she'd gotten from the dirty floor. After drying herself off, she took a quick glance in the mirror. While her face was clean, her hair was an absolute mess. Unfortunately, she had no comb lying around.

 _Oh, well_ , she thought, hanging the towel back up.  _Not like there's anyone here I want to impress._

When she opened the door, Flug stood there, looking perky.

"Morning, Miss Gris!" he said. "5.0.5. and I have brought you breakfast!"

"5.0.5.?" Lita said, looking past him.

Her mouth dropped at the sight. Standing there with a cart of pancakes was an enormous blue bear. With the yellow daisy sticking out of his head and big eyes, he looked like a Care Bear! His little maid outfit made him even more adorable!

She struggled to hold back a squeal from the sudden exposure to cuteness. "Oh…my…g—"

"Don't!" Flug cried in panic.

"—osh!"

Lita had seen the bear a few times on TV, but in person…it was like her five-year-old self's dream come true! Making eye contact with her, 5.0.5. smiled widely and gave her a wave.

That did it.

Squealing in delight, Lita rushed over to the bear. "YOU ARE SO  _FUCKING_  CUTE!"

5.0.5. let out an excited grunt, opening his arms to scoop her up. Lita welcomed the hug and buried her face in his plushy neck. It was like hugging a giant pillow!

She just couldn't help herself. Given how hellish the last twenty-four hours have been, she needed a snuggle from a giant bear.

"Y-Yes, well," Flug said, clearing his throat. "5.0.5., this is Lita Gris. She'll be living with us for a while."

5.0.5. growled happily, as if to say, "Yay, a new friend!"

"Glad that you're impressed with my creation," Flug said, tapping Lita's shoulder. "And I know how…therapeutic 5.0.5.'s hugs can be, but I wouldn't recommend having Black Hat seeing your, uh…display of affection."

Pouting, Lita broke away from 5.0.5., who moaned in disappointment.

"Besides," Flug said, rolling up his glove to check his watch, "you don't have time for any of this. Black Hat wishes to see you immediately, once you've finished eating."

Lita shivered at the mention of Black Hat.

"You're not in trouble," he assured her. "It's just your orientation."

That didn't make her feel any better.

"Fine," Lita said, playing with her messy ponytail. "Is there a comb I can use?"

Flug cocked his head. "There isn't one in your suitcases?"

"Suitcases?"

Looking around, she finally noticed the pile of black suitcases over by the doorway, alongside her punching bag and barbells from home.

"Black Hat had the Hatbots retrieve your belongings from home," Flug explained.

Lita blinked in bewilderment. "He's…actually letting me keep my stuff?"

"Oh, yes. Saves time on going out and finding new things for you."

She sighed.  _Of course._

"Which reminds me," Flug said, reaching into his lab coat.

He pulled out Lita's phone, which had her even more confused.

"You're not worried I'm gonna call for help?" she asked.

"Oh, no." Flug touched the screen. "And even if you do, we've tapped it, so we'll know."

Lita groaned. "Then why give it back to me at all?"

"How else are you going to get your schedule and list of duties each day? You'll find it in the Black Hat Organization app."

Feeling no immediate desire to check that app out, she took the phone and shoved it into her hoodie pocket.

"I also left your backpack next to the suitcases," Flug said. "Oh, and one last thing."

Reaching into his coat again, he pulled out a metallic syringe. Lita's eyes widened at the sight of the long, thick needle.

Memories of the hospital came rushing back. Of her mother, in the examination room, getting a huge needle inserted into her thigh…

"I just need to inject a tracking device into your skin," Flug said nonchalantly. "It's not that we don't trust you… Who am I kidding? We don't. But in the event that you decide to run off…" He noticed Lita's sickened expression. "Is there a problem?"

Lita gulped. "Do…do you  _have_  to inject it?"

He stared at her and then at the syringe. "Do you…have a fear of needles?"

She clutched her thigh as she backed away. "N-Not so much a fear, as I have a, uh…big dislike of…"

Flug found himself chuckling. "You face down a bunch of lasers, buzz-saws, flamethrowers and ruthless kids throwing snowballs," he said, waving the syringe around, "and  _this_  is what scares you?"

"It's not funny!" Lita shouted, causing both Flug and 5.0.5. to flinch. "Can't you just…put a collar or ankle thing on me or something?"

"Oh, no, no, no, no," the scientist said, wagging his finger. "You'd find it hard to bathe wearing a device like that. Too much risk of electrocution. Trust me," he said, tapping the side of the syringe. "This will be  _much_  safer. And don't worry about the pain. It'll only hurt for a moment."

_It's not the pain I'm worried about._

Before Lita could take another step back, 5.0.5. took her hand in his massive paw. As she looked up at him, he gave a reassuring smile. He grunted something.

"Oh, very well, 5.0.5.," Flug said, sighing in disappointment. "You may hold her hand." He muttered under his breath. "Won't be as fun though."

Lita and 5.0.5. sat down on the bed, her hand still in his paw. Gripping the comforter with her other hand, she kept her gaze on 5.0.5. as Flug approached with the syringe.

"Now hold still," Flug said, firmly but gently gripping her arm.

5.0.5. gave her hand a tight squeeze just as the needle entered her shoulder. Lita winced as she saw the needle piercing her mother's thigh.

"Mija!" her father's voice said in her head. " _I thought I told you to wait outside!_ "

"Done," Flug said, releasing her arm. "See? That wasn't so bad now, was it?"

Lita glanced over at her shoulder. It was a little red, but she didn't see any piercing mark. She touched the tender spot, feeling around for the tracking device.

"It's a microchip," Flug explained. "So small you'll forget it's even there. Now," he said, walking towards the door, "eat up! I'll come to fetch you in thirty minutes!" He sneezed suddenly. "And 5.0.5., if you would begin dusting in here, please?"

He shut the door, but Lita didn't hear the key turn. He hadn't locked it. She could just step outside and…no. With this tracking device in her arm, there was officially no chance for escape now. If she even tried, they'd catch her and punish her. Or worse, they could punish her father.

She eyed the buttermilk pancakes on the cart. Beside them was an assortment of fruit bowls and syrup bottles, along with pitchers of milk and juices. The sight made her stomach grumble.

 _At least they're not starving me_ , she thought.

Seeing her staring at the breakfast, 5.0.5. got up and went over to the cart. He gestured to the fruit and syrup.

"Oh," Lita said, leaning onto her palms. "Uh, you have chocolate syrup?"

Grunting, 5.0.5. picked up a dark brown bottle and squirted them onto the pancakes.

"That's enough," she said, holding up a hand.

With a bright smile, the bear carried the silver tray over to her and placed it onto her lap. A fork and butter knife sat on either side of the chocolate-covered pancakes. He then went back to the cart and gestured to the pitchers, as if to ask what she wanted to drink.

"Any banana juice in there?"

5.0.5. cocked his head.

"Yeah, not a lot of people know about it. But it's my favorite. Apple's good too."

Pouring her a glass, 5.0.5. handed the juice to her.

"Thanks," she said, taking the glass.

After a curtsy, 5.0.5. grabbed a feather duster off the cart and started dusting the furniture. Lita couldn't help but smile as she watched him.

 _At least there's_ someone _in this hellhole I can befriend. Too bad he can't talk._

Being a fast eater, and given that she hadn't eaten the takeout she'd brought home last night, Lita devoured her pancakes within ten minutes.

"Did you make these?" she asked the bear after swallowing the last bite.

5.0.5., who had moved onto vacuuming, nodded.

"Well, they're delicious."

Beaming, he waved a paw, as if to bashfully say, "It was nothing."

As she set the dirty dishes back onto the cart, Lita looked over at the pile of suitcases. Glancing down at herself, she realized she was wearing the same clothes from last night. They stank from all the sweat.

She glanced at the old-fashioned cuckoo clock on the wall. Twenty more minutes until Flug returned. Just enough time for a quick shower and change.

After rummaging through the suitcases, she found her toiletries, her hairdryer and a change of clothes and carried them into the bathroom. When she emerged, she was all clean, her hair combed and dried, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white tank top. Having arrived, Flug cocked his head at her as she came out.

"What?" she said, throwing on her hoodie. "There a dress code?"

"Err…no," Flug said. "Not really. Just no pink." His tone lowered. " _Never_  pink."

Lita shrugged. "Never really my color anyway."

He watched as she zipped her hoodie up. "Actually, that should be fine. The boss approves of black. And Dementia wears a hoodie all the time."

"Yeah, where _is_  this Dementia?" she asked, looking around.

"Oh, you'll meet her in time. And when you do," he leaned forward to whisper, "do not, I repeat, do  _not_  ask her what she thinks of Black Hat!"

Lita blinked. "I…wasn't planning to."

"You will regret it!" Flug exclaimed before clearing his throat. "Now. Follow me, if you please."

On the way out, Lita waved to 5.0.5. The bear waved back and then pointed to the pile of suitcases.

"Don't bother with those," she called. "I'll take care of them later."

This walk through the halls wasn't as long as last night's had been. Black Hat's office was on the same floor, at the farthest end of the north hall. The sight of the enormous black double doors made Lita sick to her stomach. It was the same feeling she got whenever she was called into her employer's office.

Only this time, it was enough to make her face turn green.

"Don't worry," Flug said, noticing her uneasiness. "Just remember what we talked about last night. Do as he says, and don't talk back. And if he  _does_  get mad for whatever reason, beg for mercy. Trust me. He  _loves_ watching his subordinates grovel."

Lita cringed at this advice. She didn't like the idea of appearing weak in front of anyone. It left her to look like easy prey for any passerby criminal.

Before Flug could knock on the doors, they creaked open automatically. The high-ceiling office was decorated in the same green wallpaper as the hallway, along with more Black Hat portraits and shelves of assorted books and expensive-looking items. Trophies from past heists, she assumed. Straight ahead sat a large mahogany desk. The red cushioned chair behind it was facing the tall, ovular red-glass window.

Lita looked over at the shivering scientist, who gestured for her to step inside. What choice did she have but to obey?

The double doors slammed shut behind her. Honestly, Lita was getting so used to the sound that her reaction was really more of a flinch than a jump.

She watched as the large red chair turned, revealing its villainous occupant.

"Ah, Miss Gris," Black Hat said, grinning with his hands folded together. "First day on the job, and already you're punctual." He gestured across the desk, making a smaller red chair materialize. "Please. Have a seat."

It was strange. He acted so cordially for a villain. Of course, such a front would be expected from a businessman, no matter what kind of business he ran. Somehow this made him seem more—dare she think it—human. The idea eased her worry a bit and replaced it with anger.

Lita wanted nothing more than to wipe that snarky grin off his ugly face—okay, maybe not  _that_  ugly, but it wasn't aesthetically pleasing either. After abducting and torturing her father, forcing her to go through a series of crazy contraptions and persuading her into selling her soul, she hated him with a burning passion.

But he was also the one with the power here. Physically and legally. He had the supernatural strength, the contract, he knew where her father lived. He had all the cards and they both knew it. It wouldn't be smart to challenge him now. She would submit to whatever his plans for her were.

However, she knew if she acted helpless, he would have even more power over her.  _He may have my soul, but he doesn't have my spirit. Uh…if that makes any sense at all._

Besides, despite what he was capable of, he was still a boss. She'd dealt with difficult bosses before. Best thing to do was to remain calm and not be intimidated. If that failed, she would do what she normally did to relax in an awkward encounter.

So, taking a deep breath, Lita approached the desk and sat down in the smaller chair. She locked her eyes with Black Hat's.

For a moment, his grin faltered. He cocked his head to the side as he studied her. He appeared confused.

And he was. Last night, this woman had been radiating with fear, though she'd made an effort to suppress it. But now, that fear was completely gone. She wasn't even faking it. He could literally smell fear. And he smelled nothing.

Didn't this girl understand her situation? Didn't she know whose presence she was in? She was alone with him. In his office. His soul was hers. Why wasn't she afraid?

Lita cocked her head to match his. Confused about his confusion.

"Uh…you wanted to see me?" she said.

Black Hat returned his head to its upright position, grinning once again.  _No matter. Her fear will grow before this meeting is through._

"I had Flug do some research on you, Miss Gris," he said, opening a thick file on his desk. "It seems you…undersold yourself. According to these, you were quite the little cat burglar as a child." He chuckled as he flipped through the contents. "Most teenage girls spend their time shopping at the mall. Seems you were doing your 'shopping' after hours."

Lita glanced down at the file, catching glimpses of printouts of news stories, surveillance photos, her mugshots…

"Is that my credit card bill?!" Lita exclaimed, reaching for the folder.

Black Hat snatched it out of her reach, grinning further as he read the paper. "Mmm-mmm-mmm. So many purchases made to  _Thieves Illustrated_."

She blushed hard, making Black Hat laugh. "It does  _not_  say that and you know it!"

"In all honesty," he said, setting the folder down, "I'm quite impressed." He laced his fingers together as his one eye fixated on her. "You were only caught once, but your prison records state that your DNA was found at seven other crime scenes. Now, I know the police can be incompetent, so I imagine the number is much greater than that, am I right?"

As Lita's cheeks returned to their original olive color, she nodded.

"Then by all means, how many robberies have you committed? I'm dying to know."

It took a moment for Lita to silently count on her fingers. "Thirty-six."

Black Hat's eyebrows shot up. "Thirty-six?"

"Well," Lita said nonchalantly, "thirty- _nine_ if you count the heists my father and I pulled off together. Oh, not to mention the occasional pickpocketing and shoplifting. Then it adds up to about…let's see, sixty-seven, sixty-eight…"

He stared at her a long while. "You're not joking."

She shook her head. "It was mostly houses, a couple of jewelry stores and one bank—the security for that was laughable—no biggie."

Black Hat was a master liar, and there was nothing in her tone or body language to suggest that she was speaking falsely. Or sarcastically, for that matter. She was serious.

Bursting out laughing, he leaned back in his chair. "We-he- _hell_! It would seem I got more than I bargained for! But tell me, my dear." He leaned forward again, using his elbows for support. "Wherever did you learn such useful skills? I know you didn't attend my Camp for Young Villains."

This was certainly an interesting change of pace. Usually when her employers discovered her criminal record, they were outraged. She wasn't used to such…positive feedback. Except from her father.

It was…unnerving. Time to do her thing to relax.

"Papi considered that, but didn't have the money," Lita said, leaning forward slightly, not daring to put her elbows onto his desk.

"Fair," Black Hat said, remembering the bulk of loans.

"I learned some self-defense from my mother before she…" She paused. "And I was already on the gymnastics team at school." Her voice became quiet. "The rest I learned from Papi."

"Seems the old fool did  _something_  productive with his time."

Lita scowled. "Don't talk about him that way."

"What? It's true, isn't it?" He leaned back, crossing one leg over the other. "Anyway, it would seem you'd make a fine addition to my organization. Had I known you had such skills, I would've hired you  _years_  ago. Even accepted you into my camp on scholarship!"

"I've seen your website," she said in an annoyed tone, leaning back in her own seat and crossing her legs. "You don't  _do_  scholarships."

He shrugged. "I make exceptions from time to time. The point is I could use talent like yours. While I already have someone to run errands for me, she tends to leave…destruction in her wake." He cringed. "I enjoy chaos as much as the next villain, but there's a certain order to these things, and I'd rather not deal with lawsuits and police investigations. So many lawyers and detectives to dispose of…"

He glanced at Lita to see her reaction. No smell of fear yet, though she was cringing.  _Eh, I'll take it._

"Cleaning up after Dementia can be so exhausting," Black Hat said with a groan, crossing his arms. "Occasionally, I will need someone with a more," he smiled at her, "discreet approach. My business is no secret, but with heroes and federal agents investigating all the major heists…"

"I get it," Lita said, crossing her arms. "You like the fame, but you'd rather your enemies don't know what you've stolen—or rather that you're the one who ordered it stolen—so they can't figure out whatever it is you're planning. That way, you're one step ahead of them. But you can't do that if your hired hand is leaving a whole bunch of evidence behind."

Black Hat was momentarily thrown off. Not because of her deduction, but because she had shifted into the exact same position he was sitting in. Was she  _mocking_  him?

He tried not to let his annoyance show as he uncrossed his legs and touched his fingertips together. "Very good, Miss Gris. It would seem you do not lack in brains either. Despite not having finished high school."

"What can I say?" she said, uncrossing her legs. "I was busy with other things."

"You will need some training, of course, before your first assignment. First, you'll have to go through orientation. You'll mostly be working with my other henchgirl, Dementia. She'll polish up your combat and acrobatic skills, while Flug will aid you with any technology you might need for your assignments."

"Sounds good."

She touched her fingertips together, once again matching his position. This did not go unnoticed by Black Hat.

 _What does this woman think she's_ doing _?!_

Scowling, he slammed his hands onto the desk, causing Lita's to fall onto her lap.

"Let us make a few things clear, Miss Gris," Black Hat said, leaning towards her. "According to the contract you signed, you now belong to me. I may have allowed you to keep your worldly possessions, but everything under this roof, animate and inanimate, is  _mine_. And as long as you live under it, you are to obey my every order without question."

"So I can't ask  _any_  questions?" Lita put her hand to her mouth. "Did that count? Or that?"

Black Hat growled, his annoyance showing. "Let me put it this way. I say, 'jump.' You say, 'how high?' I say, 'steal.' You say, 'how much?' I say, ' _kill_.'" The room seemed to grow darker for a moment. "You say, 'how painfully?'"

Lita gulped. Black Hat grinned. Her fear was finally coming to light.

"Rule Number One: you are not to leave the premises without my permission, which will mostly be for heists and the occasional business trip. Rule Number Two: you are not to discuss any information concerning your position here to anyone outside the Black Hat Organization. That being said, we will be keeping tabs on your phone and email. Rule Number Three: you are to address me as either 'sir,' 'Mr. Black Hat,' 'boss,' or 'my lord and master.'"

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at the last one.

"And Rule Number Four," he said, his eyes narrowing, "I do not take  _any_  form of insubordination  _lightly_."

 _Oh shit,_  she thought.  _Did he realize I was copying his moves?!_

"Noted," Lita squeaked, before clearing her throat. "When do I start,  _sir_?"

The fear was gone again, which disappointed the villain. He was so used to people being afraid of him. Even other villains. Yet aside from her slight nervousness, this mere human was so relaxed and nonchalant. It was almost…refreshing. But mostly puzzling.

"You seem indifferent about all of this," he said, leaning back in his chair. "That's good. That's the mark of a true villain."

Lita crossed her arms. "I'm just following my end of the deal."

"For now, you are." Black Hat's grin returned. "From what I've seen so far from you, Miss Gris, you have the potential to be a great villain." He waved one hand to the side. "You just need a guiding hand, to steer you in the  _wrong_  direction."

"And I suppose  _you'll_ be that," she said, waving her own hand in the same way he did, "'guiding hand?'"

"You should've seen Flug when he first got here," he said with a dark chuckle. "Trust me, Miss Gris. You'll find you might like being evil."

Lita sighed. "I don't believe in evil."

"Oh?" He cocked an eyebrow. "And I suppose you'd prefer the," he gagged, " _path of righteousness_?"

She shook her head. "Don't believe in good either."

What a peculiar statement. It had Black Hat baffled. And yet…intrigued. Propping his elbows onto the desk, he leaned onto his folded hands.

"What  _do_  you believe in, Miss Gris?"

She took a moment to find the right word. "Selfishness."

Black Hat tilted his head to the side. "Care to explain?"

"This whole…idea of good versus evil?" She moved her head to match his. "It's bullshit. No one ever does anything because they're good or evil. They do things because they're either selfish or selfless. Take you, for example." She gestured towards him. "You offer your services to other villains, but for your own benefit, not theirs. Selfish.

"And heroes, doing good deeds and shit like that. They're not always doing it because it's the right thing, but to make themselves feel better, or for fame. Depends. People can even do things that are considered bad for totally selfless reasons. Like if it was to benefit someone they cared about…"

She trailed off a moment and then shook her head. "It's not a matter of  _what_  you do, it's  _why_  you do it."

Black Hat stared at her for a long while. It was needless to say that her statement surprised him. He'd always seen the world as black and white, evil and good. After all, "black" was in his name. Of course, he'd heard the whole "goodness inside you" speech from captive heroes all the time, but he'd never imagined anyone would tell him that good and evil was a complete lie.

This girl was becoming more and more intriguing by the minute.

"You have a very," he said, setting his folded hands down, " _interesting_  outlook on life, Miss Gris."

"And you," Lita said, leaning forward with her hands folded onto her lap, "Mr. Black Hat, have an interesting," she paused a moment, glancing around the room to think of a comeback, "taste in décor."

Black Hat smiled in a way that only a few of his fangs were sticking out. "I think I might like you, Miss Gris."

She looked at him unsurely. "Should I feel flattered or…worried?"

He chuckled in amusement. "You decide." He stood up. "Come. It's time for your orientation tour."

She didn't protest as she rose to follow him. Her mind was in a muddle.

That…hadn't been so bad. Really. Maybe it was the fact that it was daytime. Or that since her soul was already sold away, there was nothing more he could do to break her. But he didn't seem as intimidating as he had last night.

Black Hat was surprisingly civil, when he wanted to be. If he had caught onto the game she'd been playing—he'd be the first of her bosses to notice—he hadn't punished her for her "insubordination." Could it really be called that though? Perhaps he just didn't mind a little playfulness. Didn't he expect her to be evil, anyway?

She wasn't going to be evil though. Not entirely. This was no different than when she first started stealing. Survival. That was all that mattered.

Survival. And her father.

She wasn't sure why she'd told Black Hat her moral beliefs. She supposed it was her way of pointing out that she wasn't doing any of this for him. That she was still her own person, even if she wasn't free. She had her own reasons.

Yes. She was the most selfish person alive. She was in this mess for the most selfish of reasons. Selfish, because she couldn't bear to live without her father.

Maybe she fit in here after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, I had so much fun writing the office scene! Originally, Lita copying BH's movements was a way to show their power struggle (kind of still is), but then I thought it could also be a coping mechanism of hers.
> 
> I'm always writing about heroines who start out being either self-righteous or are inclined to see the good in everyone. And while having a villain with a villain would be cool, I wondered...what if the heroine was neither good nor evil, but morally gray? I thought it was an interesting dynamic to try. Now you know why her last name is "Gris" (in case you didn't know, it's the Spanish word for "gray").
> 
> Okay, I'm caught up with what I've posted on fanfiction.net, so now chapters will be uploaded on both sites when they're ready.


	8. Orientation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita sees the rest of the mansion and meets her new partner in crime.

"These are the other guest rooms," Black Hat said, gesturing to the long series of doors. "We keep them locked when not in use."

"Yeah, Flug told me about those," Lita said.

He smirked. "Then you know not to poke your nose where it doesn't belong. And that," he said, pointing to a set of deep red double doors at the end of the hall, "is  _my_  bedchamber." His one eye glared sideways at her. "Which you are forbidden to enter," he said, his tone dripping with venom as he leaned towards her, "under  _any_  circumstances!"

Lita shrugged. "So long as you keep out of  _my_  room."

He stared at her, bewildered at how unfazed she was.  _I can't be losing my touch, can I?_  It did no good for one of his subordinates to be unafraid of him. Suppose she became  _too_  comfortable in her position? She might discover the means to escape. Or worse, overpower him! He had to keep a certain level of discomfort in her if he was going to maintain control.

Then he remembered what had uneased her last night, causing him to grin mischievously.

"Really, Miss Gris," he said, folding his hands behind his back. "You can dispel whatever fantasies you may have of me entering your bedchamber."

She stiffened, her cheeks turning red at his implication. "N-No! I wasn't—"

"Of course, such fantasies are inevitable." He adjusted his tie. "I  _do_  have that effect on women. However," he said, giving her a pat on the head, "I must insist that our relationship remain professional."

Her blush deepened, though she could clearly hear the mocking tone in his voice. "Cut it out! I know you're just messing with me!"

"Am I?" he said, cocking his head to the side.

Her gaze narrowed. " _Yes_."

Black Hat chuckled, enjoying her reaction. "Keep telling yourself that, darling."

As he walked ahead of her, Lita growled, "Creep."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," he called without looking back at her.

It was like that the entire tour. He'd tease her and she'd get all flustered. It wasn't true fear, but Black Hat would take what he could get. She  _knew_  he was only trying to make her uncomfortable, of course. That didn't make it any less annoying.

"I expect everyone to be awake by seven a.m. sharp," he said as he showed her the kitchen and dining room. "Breakfast starts promptly at eight, work begins at nine. Lunch hour is noon to one and dinner is at seven. We only use the dining room when we have guests. You may take your meals in the kitchen or in your room."

Once they were done with the ground floor, Black Hat led her back to the elevator. "Along with running my errands," he said as they stepped inside, "your other duties will include light housekeeping and the occasional meal preparation."

Lita looked at him uneasily as the doors closed. "Say what now?"

"In case you haven't noticed," he said, gesturing to the floors passing them by, "this mansion is incredibly immense. As fun as it would be to make that  _mistake_   _of a bear_  clean everything, none of it would get done in time. So, you will share his list of daily chores. Flug has his own. And Dementia…" He groaned. "Dementia would just make an even  _bigger_ mess."

"Yeah, yeah, sure." The cleaning part didn't really bother her as she'd helped her father clean the house all the time. "What was that bit about  _meal_  preparation?"

"Everyone here cooks," Black Hat said. "It's more efficient that way. For instance, it was 5.0.5.'s turn to make breakfast this morning. Flug will make lunch, Dementia's in charge of dinner, I'll be making breakfast tomorrow, and then lunch is your job."

"Do I  _have_  to?"

His perpetual grin disappeared as he scowled at her. "Need I remind you of the terms of our contract? You are to obey my every order—"

"Without question, I know! But you see…I…I can't…"

He raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

Embarrassed, she shoved her hands into her hoodie pockets. "I…can't cook."

This information surprised Black Hat. "What do you mean you  _can't cook_? How do you  _eat_?"

"Papi did all the cooking," Lita explained. "And there's such a thing as takeout and microwave dinners, you know."

He groaned. "Well, you'll have to learn. I won't need anything stolen all the time, so you'll have to pull your weight some other way in the meantime."

"Can't we just stick with the cleaning and leave it at that?"

His eye narrowed. Lita could tell he was starting to lose patience.

"Alright, fine, I'll cook," she said, tearing her gaze away from him. "Just don't blame me if you choke to death."

Black Hat's grin returned. "Oh, believe me, Miss Gris.  _I_ won't be the one choking."

"Right." She sighed. "You're immortal. Well then…don't blame me if  _Flug_  chokes to death."

He laughed at the image. "Not two days here, and you've already developed an appropriately morbid sense of humor."

"What makes you think I was joking?"

Directing his eye towards her, he said, "You're going to do well here."

They reached the top floor, which mostly contained what Black Hat called "storage space" and Flug's airplane/laboratory.

"You've already been here, of course," Black Hat said as the metal double doors whizzed open. "Occasionally, you will be assisting Flug."

"In what?" Lita asked, stepping in before the doors could snap closed. "Building the next Frankenstein's monster?"

"Did someone call me?" piped a voice.

Startled by the new voice, Lita shrieked and, seeing nobody else around, found herself clinging onto Black Hat's arm. He frowned at this action.  _I've been trying all day to get a scare out of her, and not only does_ Dementia _end up scaring her, but she clings to_ me _for safety?!_

Dementia dropped from the ceiling, suspended upside-down with the help of her long green ponytail. Her face ended up an inch from Lita's. Her mismatched eyes stared into Lita's bright blue ones.

"Ooh-hoo-hoo!" Dementia exclaimed, grinning excitedly. "Did you bring me a new chew toy, my love?"

She swiped a hand at Lita, the one with the fingerless black glove. Lita jumped out of her reach and hid behind Black Hat. He growled, insulted that she found  _Dementia_  more frightening than him.

"Hey, wait a minute!"

Hearing sniffing sounds next to her ear, Lita squealed when she found Dementia suddenly behind her. Lita backed away just as Dementia caught one more whiff of her.

"This one's…" Dementia's green and brown eyes narrowed suspiciously. " _Female_."

There was something vicious and territorial in the look she was giving Lita.

"Uh…boss?" Lita said, looking to Black Hat, ironically, for assistance.

He stepped between the women, causing Dementia's eyes to turn into hearts as they gazed up at him excitedly.

"Dementia," Black Hat said, his tone filled with disdain as he addressed her, "Miss Adelita Gris is  _not_  a chew toy. She is my new errand girl."

The hearts in Dementia's eyes shattered as they peered over at the woman cowering behind her beloved. The territorial look Dementia's eyes had held earlier quickly returned as she let out an animalistic growl.

"You're… _replacing_  me?!"

"Please," Black Hat said, rolling his eye. "As if I'd be idiotic enough to release you into the world unrestrained. Unless there was a particular target I had in mind, of course." He grinned as he reached behind and threw his arm around Lita's shoulder. "No. Miss Gris is merely an extra set of hands."

Lita cringed at the fact that he was touching her again. And, based on the death glare Dementia was giving her, Lita figured  _she_  didn't like it either.

"I already got a set of hands!" Dementia shouted, waving her hands in Lita's face. "And a set of feet too!"

She reached down and tugged her feet upward, causing her to land on her bottom. Lita then noticed the metal anklet above the lizard-woman's red-and-white tennis shoe.

"Hey!" Lita exclaimed, clutching her still aching shoulder. "How come  _she_  gets to wear a tracking anklet?!"

Ignoring her, Black Hat said, "Dementia, you will be handling the physical part of Miss Gris' training. Meaning, you'll be teaching her to fight and infiltrate."

Dementia blinked. "You mean…I get to…" Her eyes lit up. "Hit her as much as I want?!"

Lita was starting to have second thoughts about this arrangement.

"The idea," Black Hat said with an annoyed growl, "is that you'll be working  _with_  her.  _Not_  against her. Meaning," his grip on Lita tightened, "if I suddenly find her in more than one piece…"

Dementia grinned as he grabbed the front of her hoodie and brought her to his eyelevel.

"YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF IN A SIMILAR SITUATION!"

Because Lita was so close to him, covering her ears hadn't been enough to stop them from ringing. Dementia only gazed at Black Hat lovingly, her tongue sticking out.

"Do I make myself clear?" he said, giving her a shake.

Dementia nodded. "Whatever you say…my love!"

Rolling his eye, Black Hat dropped her to the floor.

"Now then," he said, leading Lita away from the crumpled pile of mush. "Flug will set you up with the orientation videos. Then I will send you your schedule. Has Flug showed you the company app yet?"

Lita shook her head. "He mentioned it, but…I haven't exactly had the time to check it out."

"Well then. Flug will just have to show you after you've watched the tapes. For now, any questions?"

"Just one." She glanced at the gloved hand on her shoulder. "Could you, um…let go of me, sir?"

"You certain you want that?" Black Hat smirked at her. "As I recall, not two minutes ago, you couldn't keep your hands off me."

Her cheeks took on that embarrassing color again. "D-Dementia just…surprised me. That's all."

"And yet…your first instinct was to cling to  _me_."

From his tone, she couldn't tell if he was angry about this or…amused. Either way, it perturbed her.

"I take it there's no Human Resources office, huh?" she asked.

"Nope," Black Hat said simply.

"Thought so."

Since he didn't seem to be letting go anytime soon, Lita reached across her chest to shove his hand off her shoulder. Black Hat didn't say anything, only grinned.

She  _would_  fear him eventually. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

After Lita spent two hours watching the orientation videos in the living room, Flug came in with a clipboard.

"Well, any questions?" he asked brightly.

 _Only like a million_ , she thought as she sat up on the red couch.

"How come I've never heard of any of these villains?" Lita asked. "I mean where the hell is  _Rhyboflaven_?"

"Oh," Flug said. "Many of our clients live and reign in other dimensions."

She blinked. "There are… _other dimensions_?"

"Oh, yes. We keep an interdimensional portal in the lab so we can visit our clients' dimensions and vice versa." He could see the curiosity in her gaze. "I wouldn't recommend using it without supervision though. You wouldn't want to accidentally end up in a land of carnivorous fruit."

Lita shivered at the image. Still, the information that there was a vast number of different dimensions out there was a lot to take in.

The orientation videos had been…interesting. Not so much the how-to-be-a-villain tips, but getting a glimpse into the lives of her new coworkers. The Q&A video had been especially informative.

Things she'd learned:

One, Flug was a lot more dangerous than he let on.

Two, Dementia was…pretty much as dangerous as she'd figured.

Three, 5.0.5. was a harmless little cinnamon roll and it was a shame he'd originally been created for evil.

Four, there was no doubt Black Hat was the biggest prick in the world.

Five, for some very bizarre reason, Dementia was madly in love with Black Hat. To each their own, she supposed.

Still, those videos hadn't told her that much about her new colleagues. There were still millions of questions swimming in her head. What had led them to evil? How did Flug and Dementia come to be with Black Hat?

Oh, and don't get her started on her questions about Black Hat! How old was he? What species was he? Had he always been a…whatever he was or had he been human once? Why was he evil? Not that she believed in evil, but if ever there was evil in its most extreme, Black Hat seemed to embody it. Had he been born that way or had something put him on that path? Was he… _really_  as evil as he appeared? Or, like she had her own dark side, did he have a light side too?

"Miss Gris?"

Lita shook out of her thoughts as she turned to Flug. She knew he wouldn't be able to answer all her questions at once, so stuck with the most obvious one at that moment.

"Why do you wear that bag?"

Flug's goggled eyes narrowed at her. It was amazing how expressive he could be with his face covered.

"Any questions that are less," he said, gripping his pencil, " _personal_?"

 _I get the feeling he's sensitive about the bag_ , Lita concluded.

"Right." She thought for a moment. "Actually, I was a bit curious about one of the rules mentioned. The one about…not involving love?"

"Ah, yes," Flug said flatly. "Rule 10V3. As you saw in the demonstration of Mojo Jojo, love, especially in our line of work, is nothing but a distraction."

As he said this, his attention was on his clipboard, his pencil moving over the paper. But Lita didn't hear any sounds of writing.

"But that's just ridiculous," she said, moving her legs into a crisscross position. "I mean…no one can really  _control_  themselves when falling in love."

"Exactly." The tip of his pencil finally made contact with the board. "Which is why we as villains must distance ourselves from it entirely. After all,  _love_ is  _good_ , and we are evil."

Lita rolled her eyes. "People have done so-called 'evil' things in the name of love too. And not just romantic love. I mean…you care about 5.0.5., don't you?"

"That's different!" Flug snapped, scribbling furiously. "He's my creation, therefore my responsibility! I  _have_  to care for him!"

"But suppose…I don't know." She held one hand out to the side. "You meet someone who has the same interests as you," she said, holding out the other hand, "and actually doesn't mind the fact that…that you're not perfect."

Her voice became quiet as she became lost in her thoughts. "And…they wouldn't  _try_  to change you but…they  _do_. For the better. Not necessarily make you 'good,' but…a better version of yourself." She choked up as her mother and father came to mind. "And even if you still mess up, they'll still—"

"They'll decide they're too  _good_  for you," Flug said, scribbling faster and harder with each word, "and try to get you on their side before stabbing you in the back and then you have to stab them right back even if you don't want to then you can't focus on your work because you CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER WHAT SHE'S DOING RIGHT—"

His pencil snapped in two. Flug stared down at the eraser-half in his hand and then at Lita, whose mouth was agape.

"I'll, um…" Flug cleared his throat. "I'll get you a new pencil so you can take your comprehension test."

He turned on his heel quickly and quietly headed towards the door.

"Wait, Flug!" Lita called, turning to peer over the head of the couch.

Without facing her, Flug stopped and said, frustratingly, "Yes?"

Lita bit her lip. "I…I swear I'm only going to ask you this once, but…did you…that is…have you…were you ever in love?"

Flug was silent for a long while. Lita just waited patiently, staring at his back.

"Once," he finally replied.

"Who was it?" she asked.

"Doesn't matter." Flug straightened himself up. "It was a long time ago. But, like I said. You can't involve love in this line of work," he said as he walked out. "It just gets in the way."

As she watched him go, Lita couldn't help but pity him. Whatever had happened to his significant other, she suspected that Black Hat had had something to do with it. Was that man so cruel that he couldn't allow his subordinates to be happy? Even if for a little while?

Well, whatever had happened—she had a feeling it would take a whole lot more to get Flug to open up about it—if that's how  _romantic_  love was treated in this place, Lita could only imagine the views on familial love. While Black Hat had sworn not to harm her father, he most likely wouldn't allow Lita visitation.

 _Unless I can get him to see that love and evil aren't as mutually exclusive as he thinks_.

She snorted. "Yeah, right. If Flug couldn't buy that, I doubt  _he_  would."

* * *

When lunchtime came around, Lita soon learned that 5.0.5. wasn't the only excellent cook in the house.

"Man, Flug!" she cried, taking in a big forkful. "This goulash is amazing!"

"Thank you!" Flug said chipperly. "The secret is in the garlic powder!"

Everyone sat around the kitchen table. Well, everyone except Black Hat. According to Flug, the boss took his meals in his office. While the kitchen looked like any other kitchen, the people dining within it certainly made a peculiar picture.

Flug ate slowly, sticking his fork beneath his paper bag to reach his mouth. Lita kept trying to take peeks, but Flug must've had a lot of practice eating this way, for she couldn't even spot a chin. 5.0.5. wore a frilly pink bib. His portion of goulash had been cut into smaller pieces, most likely by Flug.

Dementia didn't use any utensils. Rather, she had planted her face within the bowl and was slurping the food up like a dog. All the while she kept her eyes fixed on Lita, who sat across from her. The look she gave was very unsettling.

Deciding she didn't want to keep staring at Dementia, Lita explained her cooking problem to Flug.

"Think you could give me some pointers?"

"Oh, sure," Flug said, waving his hand. "Cooking's easy once you get the hang of it. Just like chemistry!"

Lita frowned. "Dropped out of high school, remember?"

"Nonsense! 5.0.5. is not even half your age. If he can do it, so can you. Honestly,  _anyone_  can cook. Well," he glanced sideways at Dementia, " _almost_  anyone."

Dementia stuck her tongue out at him.

"If you want," Flug whispered to Lita, "I can just order pizza for dinner."

"I heard that, nerd!" Dementia hollered, flinging her bowl at him.

Shrieking, Flug ducked before the bowl could hit him. It splattered against the wall.

"Dementia!" the scientist hollered as he stood back up. "How many times have I told you not to throw food at the table?!"

"I did  _not_  throw my food at the  _table_!" Dementia said, putting her hands on her hips. "I threw it at the  _wall_!" She pointed. " _Big_  difference!" She huffed. "Not like that was any better than  _my_  cooking!"

"Last time you were in charge of the meal, you made toothpaste sandwiches!"

"And they were delicious!"

She crawled onto the table towards Flug. 5.0.5. had to lift his bowl up to prevent her from trampling over it.

"You're just saying that," she said, poking Flug in the chest, "because of your  _stupid_  sandwich phobia!"

Lita looked at Flug incredulously. "Sandwich phobia?"

"It's a justifiable phobia!" he shouted. "Statistics show that seven out of ten food-poisoning related deaths each year are caused by sandwiches!"

Lita had to cover her mouth to keep herself from laughing, as it would be rude to do so. Despite the fact that Flug had laughed at  _her_  phobia earlier today.

"This guy!" Dementia laughed, shoving him so hard that he toppled over onto the floor. "He's such a  _dork_!" She stuck her face into Lita's, causing her to drop her fork. "You know he still sleeps with a teddy bear? And I ain't talking 'bout  _that_  teddy bear!"

She pointed at 5.0.5., who gave a "mrrph" in response.

"Nothing wrong with that," Lita said, trying to return to her lunch. "A lot of adults sleep with stuffed animals." She bit her lip. "And why wouldn't they? They're soft and plushy."

"Thank you!" Flug cried, hopping back onto his feet. "And at least  _I_  don't sleep with a creepy hand puppet of my boss!"

Dementia giggled. "That puppet's seen more action than  _you,_ Fluggie."

That caused Lita to choke on her food. 5.0.5. only tilted his head in confusion.

"That's it!" Flug cried, reaching into his lab coat.

He whipped out what looked like a laser gun.

"What the  _fuck_?!" Lita cried, ducking under the table.

5.0.5. yelped as he joined her.

Dementia only grinned gleefully. "Oh-ho- _ho_! You wanna go, Fluggie?! Well, come on then!" Standing up on the table, she struck an alluring pose. "Hit me with your best shot!"

"Are  _all_  meals like this?" Lita whispered to the bear.

His response was a frantic nod.

"Oh, you  _bet_  I will!" Flug shouted, aiming his weapon at her.

Lita could sense war was about to break out between these two. Normally, she wouldn't get involved in a brawl like this, especially when a gun was involved. But if she didn't do something, she had a feeling Black Hat would. And while she hardly knew Dementia, she'd come to like Flug enough not to get him hurt. Even if he was in homicidal mode.

Then she remembered something.

"Uh, hey!" Lita cried, springing up from her hiding place.

The two rivals turned to look at her, surprised that anyone would intervene in their spat.

"Dementia!" she said, bringing out her cell. "The, err, app says I'm scheduled to workout with you after lunch! I-If you're done, why don't we go over to the gym and, uh…warm up?"

Dementia cocked her head at her, like a curious owl. Lita had her attention. She just had to land the sale.

"Remember," Lita said with an innocent smile. "You training me means you can hit me as much as you want."

The lizard-girl's mouth broke into a toothy grin. Lita only now noticed her vampire-like fangs.

"I  _love_  hitting people as much as I want!" Before anyone could say anything, Dementia leaped off the table, grabbed Lita by the wrist and dragged her out of the kitchen. "Finally, we're gonna get some girl-on-girl action here!"

"Wait, what?!" Lita screamed as she was pulled through the halls.

Dementia was extremely fast. They were in the gymnasium within seconds.

The gym was pretty standard. Hardwood floors, a mini-basketball court, a punching bag, some blue mats, a set of dumbbells and exercise machines. Hanging from the ceiling was a climbing rope and a pair of gymnastic rings. Only thing that really stood out was the large metal door at the far end of the room. Spray-painted on it was a skull-and-crossbones wearing a black hat.

Lita wasn't particularly eager to be exploring that room anytime soon.

"Alrighty!" Dementia exclaimed, finally coming to a halt.

Lita attempted to wrench her hand away, but the girl had a tight grip. She figured Dementia was a mutant of some sort, which would explain her mannerisms.  _What did they do? Give her the hands of a gorilla?!_

"Now that the  _nerd's_  gone…"

Dementia darted her eyes at the other woman, holding their deadly expression from earlier. Lita yelped as she was suddenly pulled upward, their noses now touching.

"Let's get one thing straight here,  _biatch_!" Dementia barked. "My love may have hired you to  _help_ me, but  _I'm_  the alpha female around here! Which means not only are you gonna stay outta my way, but you're gonna stay away from  _my_  love muffin," her grip on Lita's wrist tightened, "OR ELSE I'M GONNA GRIND YOUR BONES TO MAKE MY CROUTONS!"

Lita was at a loss for words. "Wait a minute. You think…me and…and  _Black Hat_?!"

Despite the fact that she was caught in a death grip, she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?!" Dementia demanded.

"You think…" Lita said between breaths. "You think…that he would…that  _I_  would…I wouldn't…I wouldn't if he was the last man on—"

She was cut off as Dementia twisted her arm around, threw her onto the floor, sat atop her back, used one arm to ensnare her head and the other to trap both hands behind her back. This, she did within a span of five seconds.

"How dare you insult my beloved?!" Dementia screeched into her ear. "You'd be  _lucky_  if he gave you the time of day!" She scoffed. "As if he  _would_  be interested in a puny thing like you! I mean look at you!" The scoff turned into a demented laugh. "I can't believe my love actually hired  _you_  to be my extra set of hands! As if  _I_  need  _help_! Certainly not from  _you_! You're so  _tiny_! You won't last a week! I bet you can't even scale a wall or blow up an army base! Or pull spaghetti out of your nose! I bet you can't even…"

While Dementia prattled on, Lita was contemplating a way to get out of this hold. How was it this girl was even more terrifying than Black Hat? Maybe it was her territorial and animalistic behavior. Not to mention her immense strength.

In fact, she reminded her of a girl from juvie. Big Bertha was her name. She'd been the biggest, meanest, strongest girl in the cellblock. She would pound any kid who would dare cross her path. In her week there, Lita had tried her best to keep her distance. Until she had accidentally bumped into her in the prison cafeteria. Bertha had been prepared to serve her lunch…in her face. Lita had been forced to take action. Long story short, Bertha had left her alone the rest of her time there.

This experience was no different. Dementia was the alpha female, threatened by another female. She was exercising her power through physical strength and verbal threats. And she was going to keep doing that as long as she assumed her prey was a puny weakling.

But Lita was  _not_  a puny weakling. While Dementia overpowered her physically, Lita still had her brains.

"Oh, boss!" Lita exclaimed, looking towards the door. "I didn't hear you come in!"

Gasping excitedly, Dementia directed her lovesick eyes towards the door. "My love?!"

This distracted her enough to loosen her grip. Lita smirked.

In three swift moves, Dementia was the one on the floor and Lita was on top. She made sure to sit on Dementia's waist, making it harder for her to get up. Keeping one hand firmly on her opponent's back, Lita used the other to press Dementia's face into the floor. Her green eye looked up at the smaller woman in surprise.

"Look here,  _chica_ ," Lita said, leaning her face closer to hers. "I'm not interested in the boss. You can have him. In fact, I don't wanna be he here as much as you don't want me here, but neither of us exactly have a  _choice_  in this arrangement!"

Dementia squeaked as Lita dug the heel of her hand into her spine.

"But," the smaller but older woman continued, "Black Hat wants us to work together. I can't break my contract and  _you_  can't disappoint your," she swallowed a bit of bile that had just formed in her throat, " _beloved_. So, I suggest you stop acting like a child and train me like the boss ordered, or else he is going to be very,  _very_  unhappy."

She hissed into Dementia's ear. "And so will  _I_."

The lizard-woman stared up at her, stunned.

Then her lips curled into a smile.

Dementia bent her legs back, catching her opponent around the waist with her feet. Before Lita realized what was happening, she was thrown off Dementia. Thankfully, Lita landed on one of the mats. Still, the sudden impact made her ribcage sore.

_How in the world did she get her legs to bend that way?!_

A fingerless-gloved hand reached out to her. Lita looked up at Dementia to find that her expression was no longer spiteful, but…friendly?

"You've got some serious guts, kid," she said in an impressed tone. "I had ya all wrong."

Lita didn't feel like pointing out that she was twenty-five, and, from what she figured, older than Dementia. After staring at the pale-fingered hand for a while, Lita decided to stand up on her own.

"Smart too," Dementia said, pulling her hand away. "Not everyone can hold me down for  _that_  long." Her grin widened. "We're gonna get along just fine!"

She sprang at Lita, who was so sure she was going to attack her again. Instead, Dementia threw her arm around her in a half-embrace.

"Ooh, I've always  _wanted_  a gal pal!" she exclaimed, squeezing Lita tightly. "We can do each other's hair and makeup, give each other manicures, gossip about boys!" She narrowed her eyes. "Just remember, Black Hat is  _mine_!"

"Noted," Lita said, forcing a grin.

_Well, at least this is better than her trying to kill me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blech! Exposition/transitional chapters are always a pain, but necessary. I promise things will move further along soon.
> 
> Yeah, I think Dementia's going to be the hardest to write. Had to watch that love song of her several times to get into her character.
> 
> I think there's some deep-seeded reason why Flug thinks sandwiches are evil. This was my idea of how that "Statistically speaking, seven out of..." line finished, but I think it's just an excuse.
> 
> No way was I going to go into the orientation videos in detail as that would take too long. You can just watch them on YouTube (there are subtitled versions). I'm assuming Black Hat has a dimensional portal, unless ALL the Cartoon Network shows exist in the same dimension, which I doubt. Though that phone of his must have inter-dimensional coverage or something...
> 
> Did anyone else feel the Q&A video just created more questions than answered them?


	9. Intrigue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Black Hat's a creeper. Is that really surprising though?

"Wow, that Dementia can throw a punch," Lita said, rubbing the back of her neck.

It was dinnertime and Dementia had made some mush involving guacamole and shark fins—heaven knows how she'd managed to obtain that. So, Lita had taken Flug up on his offer for pizza. The two of them were sitting on the lab floor with 5.0.5., surrounding an open box of pepperoni.

"Surprised she didn't break any of your bones," Flug said, cutting his slice with a fork and knife—this was so he could slip the bites under his bag. "Either you're a really good fighter, or she must like you."

"Don't get me wrong," Lita said, massaging her back with one hand, holding her slice in the other. "I can't remember the last time my bones ached this much. Been a while since I've fought someone stronger than me."

Putting down his slice, 5.0.5. scooted over to Lita and began massaging her shoulders with his big, furry paws.

"Thanks," she muttered, proceeding to munch on her pizza. "By the way, speaking of Dementia…" She narrowed her eyes at the scientist. "How come she gets to wear a tracker on her ankle while I had mine injected?"

"Well, we tried injecting a tracker," Flug said flatly, "but she wouldn't stop trying to claw it out."

"What about that whole electrocution risk thing?"

"Oh," he said, waving his hand nonchalantly. "An electric shock for Dementia is like a papercut for a normal human. Slightly annoying, but not lethal. Besides, she rarely bathes anyway."

The woman huffed angrily. "Lucky bitch."

"I must say," Flug said after taking a bite of his pizza. "You've done surprisingly well for your first day. I can see why Black Hat hired you. With your physical strength and manipulative skills, you're already on your way to becoming a supervillain."

Lita cocked her head. "Manipulative skills?"

"Of course," he said brightly. "The way you distracted Dementia at lunch today was brilliant! You convinced her not to fight me by offering her to fight  _you_!" He laughed. "She didn't even think you'd be a real fight, yet you talked her into it!"

"That wasn't manipulation!" she insisted, putting down her slice. "That was… _persuasion._ "

Flug waved his hand. "Same difference."

"No, really. I was just doing what I did as a salesgirl. Offered her something else and convinced her it was better than what she wanted in the first place." She picked up her slice again. "Even if it really wasn't."

He blinked. "You just described the goal of a con artist."

She scowled at him. "Fine, whatever. But I didn't do it to be evil or manipulative or whatever you call it. I just wanted her to stop picking on you."

He tilted his head to the side. "Why?"

"Because she was being a bully," Lita said, leaning her hand onto her fist. "That's worse than being a criminal. Just being mean for the sake of being mean. And what she said was stupid too." She looked at him sincerely. "She shouldn't have teased you for sleeping with a teddy bear."

After staring at her for a moment, he went back to slipping pizza bites beneath his mask. Lita glanced over at 5.0.5., who'd gone back to eating his own pizza.

"You wanna know a secret?" she asked, leaning towards Flug.

He lowered his fork. "What?"

She whispered into his ear. Well, where his ear should've been, anyway. Light flashed across his goggles as he listened.

"Seriously?" he said, facing her.

"Mmm-hmm," Lita said with a nod.

"A stuffed…?"

She smiled. "Yup. You're not the only one who likes to cling to whatever innocence they have left, Flug."

He chuckled awkwardly. "I suppose that's one way to put it." He rubbed the back of his neck. "You know? It's been so long since I've conversed with anyone…well, for lack of a better term…normal."

Frowning, Lita returned to her meal. "Is there even such a thing as normal?"

"Well…level-headed, I should say. I don't know  _how_  you've managed it so far."

"You're not the first criminals I've encountered."

"Yes, but surely you've never encountered any high-rank villains like us." He gestured proudly to the diploma on the wall. "Like one who graduated from Evil and Crime University."

Lita rolled her eyes. "I was homeschooled in that department. Minus the 'evil' part."

"Ha!" Flug laughed. "Like evil and crime are any different!"

"Evil doesn't exist."

Gasping, as if she'd said a dirty word, Flug put a hand over his heart. "What the…wha…how can you  _say_  that?!"

With a weary sigh, she explained her moral beliefs to him. Flug's shock slowly turned into intrigue.

"I know it's a stupid thing to believe," Lita said, finishing the rest of her slice. "Especially while working here. But that's how it is."

"Hmm," Flug said, rubbing his chin. "I must say, from a philosophical standpoint, you propose an interesting argument. I wouldn't go voicing this to Black Hat though."

She waved her hand dismissively. "I already did."

As if Black Hat were in the room, Flug flinched. "And…how did he respond?"

Lita paused. "I think I amused him."

"Well," he said, sighing in relief. "I suppose that makes sense. Mr. Black Hat gets bored easily, and it's not every day someone says something like that to anyone."

She huffed. "Glad he finds me funny."

"Not sure that's the word I'd use. The boss spent half the night going over the research I'd put together about you. I, err, know this because I fell asleep in the lab and woke up to find him still there."

"I know. I saw the file."

"Then consider the fact that he hired you  _before_  the background check."

She muttered, "Usually that's what throws people off."

"Believe me," Flug said, shutting his eyes gleefully. "Black Hat wouldn't hire anyone who didn't have the potential. Even if you didn't graduate from Evil and Crime University."

Lita didn't know how to feel about that. On one hand, he was right. This was probably the only job in the world she was qualified for. On the other hand, she wasn't so sure she wanted Black Hat to be impressed with her.

Thieving was one thing. Villainy was another. Take Flug, for instance. He was acting nice now, probably out of respect for a new colleague. But Lita had seen the orientation tapes. He performed mysterious, likely painful, experiments on others; he shrunk airplanes and put them in his collection without letting the people out, not to mention he'd electrocuted her father just yesterday.

Lita had stolen from others, but she hadn't hurt anyone. Physically, anyway. Not counting those she'd fought in self-defense. And she didn't want to hurt anyone who didn't deserve it. That's what villains did.

These thoughts ran through her head as she walked to her room with her hands in her hoodie pockets. When she arrived, she could tell 5.0.5. had been busy cleaning up. Everything had been dusted, the bed had been fitted with fresh sheets, and there was even a vase of flowers on the bedside table. Her things from home remained in a pile. Seeing as there was time before she'd have to go to bed, she went through them.

In the mess, she found her laptop and quickly went to charge it alongside her phone. She found the rest of her clothes and began folding them into the dresser. She was about halfway through when the aches in her joints started getting on her nerves.

"Gee," Lita said, rolling her shoulders back. "What did Dementia do to me?"

To answer this question, she went into the bathroom to look in the mirror. Once her hoodie was on the floor, her jaw dropped at her reflection.

Bruises. Bruises everywhere. Her wrists, her arms, her elbows, her neck. She remembered Dementia strangling her, and having gripped those other areas at some points, but she hadn't noticed any bruises then. They must not have formed immediately. Lifting the front of her tank, she realized her rib cage was banged up as well!

Nothing was broken, but seeing that purplish color plaguing her olive skin brought back painful memories…

" _Mom, are you okay?_ " asked the voice of her nine-year-old self.

" _I'm fine, honey,_ " said the voice of her mother. " _It's just a few bruises._ "

" _Gee, Mom. You sure bruise easily._ "

Lita shook the voices out of her head. The bruises would eventually fade, but she couldn't let anyone see these! Still, she should probably do something about the pain. Eyeing the tub in the corner, she had an idea.

Rolling down her top and throwing on her hoodie, she went back into her room and to her charging phone. During the confiscation of her cell, Flug's number had been added. He said it was in case she needed anything from him when he wasn't nearby.

" _Yes, Miss Gris_?" Flug said once he answered the call.

"Sheesh, call me Lita, will you?" she said. "Feels weird being called something so formal from a colleague."

" _Uh, sure…Lita._ " There was a pause. " _Is this the reason you called me?_ "

"No. I was just wondering…if it's not too much trouble," she said, massaging her sore ribs, "could I get a few buckets of ice in here?"

" _Ice? What for?_ "

"Uh…for a bath. You know, today's workout was pretty…intense. I mean I'm fine! Just a little sore and—"

" _Say no more. The Hatbots will be right over with some ice. If you're going to take an ice bath, I'd recommend staying in there for no more than ten minutes, or else you'll risk hypothermia. And you know the boss won't care if you're sick._ "

"I'll remember that," Lita grumbled. "Thanks, Flug."

" _See you in the morning!_ " he said chipperly before hanging up.

She smiled a bit as she put down her cell. Sometimes, it was really hard to believe Flug was an evil scientist when he acted like such a friendly dork. Then again, Lita had always been aware that there were two sides to each person. Thanks to her mother.

"Mom, how'd you fall in love with Papi?" she had once asked her.

"Oh, it's a funny story," her mother had said with a laugh. "He broke into my house."

"Then how'd you fall in love if he was bad?"

"Honey, there are no bad people in this world. Just people, who sometimes do bad things. You know your father did bad things, but he's also good to you and me. You do bad things sometimes too, but that doesn't make you a bad person. Not one person is one-hundred-percent bad or one-hundred-percent good. But a mix of both."

Lita could feel the salty water in her eyes. Remembering the cameras, she blinked them back. The thoughts of her mother reminded her of something else.

After a few minutes of digging through the pile of suitcases, she at last came across the item she'd been searching for.

An old stuffed goat with gray fur, black curved horns and glassy blue eyes. Billy was his name, as cliché as it was. Her mother had given it to her on her tenth birthday. The last birthday Lita had seen her alive.

No longer caring if Black Hat was watching, she clutched the goat to her chest and sobbed quietly.

"I won't be weak, Mom," she whispered, giving the plushie a squeeze. "I'll keep on fighting. And I'll make it back to Papi. Like I promised."

* * *

Once again, Black Hat had fallen victim to the most agonizing side effects of immortality.

Boredom.

It was way past midnight, and all was dark and quiet. He could never get used to it, no matter how many sleepless nights he endured. Everyone else was in bed, but he, not needing to sleep, was still awake, in need of something to pass the time.

But there was no paperwork left to complete. No more of Flug's blueprints to approve of or reject. No need to peruse resumés now that Lita Gris was here. He'd already gone over the budget ledger five times in the last hour. Surprise, surprise. The corporation was making one hell of a profit.

He sat at his desk, glancing at the red skull sitting beside his nameplate. Taking it into his hand, he stared idly into its vacant eye sockets.

"Sometimes I envy you," he murmured, turning the skull from side to side. "Your problems ended centuries ago."

Sighing, he set it back down. "I've conquered the world.  _Twice_! Politically  _and_  financially! I've rid this world of thousands of pesky heroes, I've made billions off assisting other villains in doing the same!"

With a frustrated growl, he slammed his fist onto his desk, breaking it in half. "What more is there left to  _do_?!"

In all the centuries he'd lived, boredom was the one plague he could never escape. It was the whole reason he'd retired from ruling the world. After a while, having absolute power with no real opposing force had become…well, dull. He figured he might as well give other villains a chance at conquering the world, since they all wanted it so bad. And make a profit from it in the meantime.

And it was fun, making deadly deals with desperate souls. He reveled in watching others' attempts at total world conquest, and watching the numbers in his bank account increase. And when those morons failed, he would take pleasure in punishing them for their incompetence.

But no matter how good business was, there would always be these quiet late hours with nothing to do. He considered just going to bed. Even if he didn't require sleep, he could still close his eyes and space out for a few hours. Though he always had to be careful when he did that, as it would make him lose track of time. One time he ended up blacking out for three days.

After using his powers to reassemble his desk, Black Hat opened the top drawer and took out a remote. Pressing the red button at the wall across from him, he caused the security monitors to lower from the ceiling. He was curious to see what his subordinates were doing at this late hour.

In all honesty, Black Hat didn't need employees. If he wanted to, he could do everything himself. Pull heists, crunch numbers, build deadly machines, even clean the mansion. After all, with no sleep, he had all the time in the world to do things. And, if he didn't know how to do something, he'd spend that extra time learning how to do it.

He mainly kept employees for entertainment, and so he wouldn't go mad talking to himself all the time. Though he wouldn't hire just anyone. They had to be the most despicable beings alive, to keep his reputation in order. But not quite as evil as him, so they wouldn't think to overthrow him. Of course, in the case of 5.0.5., it was so he could have someone to delight in tormenting over and over again.

His eye moved across the monitors. Flug had fallen asleep at his worktable. Again. His head was down and drool was coming out from under his paper bag. 5.0.5. was snoozing in his bed of stuffed animals. Dementia was in her room, hanging upside-down with her ponytail tied to the rafter, snoring contently.

Black Hat considered waking them from their pleasant dreams. But he also needed them focused the next morning. He'd rather have them well-rested and slightly chipper than groggy and likely to accidentally set off explosives.

Then his gaze fell upon the monitor to Lita's room. The gossamer curtains to her canopy bed were drawn, but he could make out the faint silhouette of her sleeping form. For a while, he watched this silhouette move slightly with every breath.

 _Ah, yes_ , Black Hat thought, leaning his cheek onto his fist.  _I have something new to occupy my time with now_.

Lita Gris was a…curious creature. Based on the evaluation he'd received from Flug earlier, she was already fitting into her position well. She'd scored a hundred on her video comprehension test, she'd prevented a brawl between Flug and Dementia using manipulation, even talked down Dementia! Oh, he wished he'd been there to see that.

 _Oh, wait_ , Black Hat thought, bringing out his red laptop.  _I can_.

He pulled up the archive footage from the gym and watched as Lita slammed Dementia to the floor. Her aggressive speech caused the corners of Black Hat's mouth to crawl up his face, his lips remaining closed.

This girl was nothing like Flug had been when he'd first arrived. Certainly not like Dementia. She wasn't utterly helpless, nor was she out of her mind. Adelita Gris had the skills, the guts, the competence. Everything that was needed for a proper villain.

There was only one thing missing. The drive.

She'd only agreed to steal for him to save her father. To be a true villain, she had to  _want_  to be evil. But she didn't believe in evil.

"Not believe in evil," Black Hat said with a huff.

What could lead a person to say such a thing? She lived in the town with the highest crime rate in the world! She was a thief herself! Her own father was a thief! She'd been under his roof for over twenty-four hours now! How could she not believe in evil?

The very idea annoyed Black Hat. And yet…it provided a challenge. A challenge, yes, in figuring this girl out. What made her tick? Why was she so insistent that there was no good or evil? What were her fears? Her insecurities?

He needed to know, so he could take advantage of them.

After some thought, he switched to the camera in Lita's bedroom and rewound the footage. He stopped when he saw her bring a stuffed goat out of one of the suitcases the Hatbots had brought from her home. He hadn't paid attention to what the Hatbots had packed, only told them to pack up everything they found in her old room. But seeing her hug a stuffed animal made him chuckle in amusement.

"So," he said, showing his teeth. "You  _do_  have insecurities."

Of course, he'd already known about Flug's teddy bear and Dementia's disgusting puppet—he'd destroyed THAT footage—but it was delightfully surprising to see someone who put up such a tough front be attached to something so childish and trivial. Well, he'd let her keep the pathetic toy for now. It was something he could always take away as punishment, should she ever fall out of line.

The footage continued and Lita opened her door to let three small Hatbots in, each carrying two buckets of ice cubes.

"Thanks," Lita said, pointing to the bathroom. "Just dump them in the tub, will you?"

Black Hat cocked his head at this. What could she possibly need all that ice for?

Sadly, he never found out, as there were no cameras in the bathroom. Not that he had any desire to see her naked. Honestly, he preferred not knowing what his subordinates hid under their clothing. Though, thanks to her full knowledge that he watched the cameras leisurely, he'd seen more of Dementia than he would've liked.

She came out dressed in simple, white long-sleeve pajamas, the ends of her long black ponytail wet. Her blue eyes looked tired as she picked up her stuffed goat and climbed into bed. Glancing around, she shut the curtains around her. Black Hat smirked, knowing she must've figured he'd be watching her.

"I think I might like you, Miss Gris," he had told her earlier.

It had been the truth. His conversation with her this morning had been…stimulating. With every word he'd said, she had a smart reply. He was so used to utter fear and incompetence from his subordinates, but not once during that conversation had he any urge to obliterate her. Even when he'd discovered her copying his moves. That had been slightly annoying, of course, but he couldn't help but smile at her playfulness. And her responses to his mock flirting had been simply hilarious!

Indeed, Black Hat liked this girl. He certainly wouldn't mind keeping her around for her company alone. And just imagine how she would be as a villain! She could do more than simply pilfer and pummel. With the right guidance, she could bring heroes to their knees.

If only he could correct that moral grayness of hers. On one hand, her indifference would make it easier for him to convince her to do evil. On the other, it could lead her to doing something relatively  _good_ , holding her back from her full evil potential.

It seemed as if he'd found a cure for his boredom. He now had a new project. He would turn this girl into a villain worthy of his organization, convert the grayness of her heart to the blackness that inhabited his own. Who knows? She might even one day replace Flug as his second-in-command.

Returning to the archive gymnasium footage, Black Hat watched Dementia train Lita, the latter putting up quite a fight no matter how many punches were thrown at her. He drank it all in. Her swift kicks, her swinging fists, her graceful flips, her frustrated grunts, her fiery blue eyes.

Needless to say, boredom never made its return that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When it was confirmed that Black Hat didn't require sleep, all I could think was...wouldn't that leave a whole lot of free time open? How does he not get bored? And I imagine for want of entertainment he'd just spy on his subordinates. That's another thing. With Black Hat's powers, I kind of wondered if he needed subordinates at all. Again, he probably just didn't want to be talking to himself all the time.
> 
> Feel free to leave a review! If anyone also wants to make fan/cover art, I'd also welcome it!


	10. Recipe For Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita tries her hand at cooking...and Dementia gets her just desserts.  
> Theme songs for this chapter: "Mistreated" from "Strange Magic" and "Fight For Me" from "Heathers."  
> WARNING: This is where the "graphic violence" tag comes in.

The next morning, in the gymnasium, Lita grunted as she slowly made her way up the manila rope. Dementia watched, clinging to the wall in a reptilian pose.

"Come on, slow-poke!" she shouted. "Pick up the pace!"

"You've…" Lita said between pants, "had me…do this…ten times…already!"

"Practice makes perfect!" Dementia said, showing her fangs as she scaled up the wall. "Ya wouldn't be sweating so much if ya didn't have on that turtleneck!"

It was true. The turtleneck  _was_  extremely hot. Lita knew she shouldn't have chosen black, as that was going to leave quite a mess in her armpits. At least the black leggings made it easier for her to move…though still sweaty.

"Why not take it off?" Dementia said in a sultry tone. "Go au naturel?"

Lita was too busy wincing at the pain in her arms to roll her eyes. "Don't…know you…well enough!"

"Faster, will ya?! Act like the rope is on fire!" There was an impish glint in her eyes. "Then again…why act?"

Dementia scurried down the wall. Ceasing her climbing, Lita searched around frantically for her.

"Dementia?" she called in worry. "Where did…? What did you…?"

There was a sudden whizzing sound from below. Glancing down, Lita gasped in terror. Dementia stood beside the hanging end of the rope, holding out a flaming blowtorch. Cackling mischievously, she inched the torch towards the rope.

"Are you insane?!" Lita shouted, swinging her legs around the rope in panic.

"Nope!" Dementia yelled, her eyes rolling in different directions. "I'm Dementia!"

Lita looked around for an escape. She was too high up to jump off, and not high enough to reach the rafters! And even if she did outclimb the flame, she'd have no way of getting down with the rope gone!

Then she found her salvation.

"Boss, help!" she screamed.

Dementia huffed. "No way am I falling for  _that_  again!"

"What is going on here?"

Squeaking, Dementia whirled around to see Black Hat standing right behind her, frowning down at her with his arms crossed. She took her finger off the blowtorch trigger, extinguishing the flame.

"J-Just, um…" Hiding the blowtorch behind her back, Dementia grinned innocently. "Giving the trainee some extra motivation, darling!"

Black Hat glanced up at Lita as she made a hasty climb back down.

"I ordered you to  _train_  her," Black Hat said, using a tentacle to snatch the blowtorch away. " _Not fry her_!"

Dementia's lip quivered. "B-B-But she was moving too slow, sweetie! I just thought—"

"IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO THINK!"

His voice was so loud it blew the rope backward. Lita clung tightly so she wouldn't fall off.

"Next time you attempt to cook one of your colleagues," Black Hat said, placing the blowtorch in his hand, "it will be on  _my_  orders!" For but one second, his eye was completely white and his gums were crawling with foam. "UNDERSTAND?!"

"Y-Yes, sir," Dementia squeaked, her fearful expression turning into one of admiration a second later.

"Good," Black Hat said, relaxing as he tucked the blowtorch into his jacket. "And what are  _you_  doing, Miss Gris?"

By this time, Lita had reached the floor. "Well, Dementia told me to climb this rope and then—"

"Let me rephrase that," he said, pushing the lizard-girl aside. "What are you doing  _here_ , when you should be in the kitchen preparing lunch?"

"Oh," Lita said, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was thirty minutes to noon. "Sorry, I, uh…lost track of time. What with almost getting burnt to a crisp and all."

"That's no excuse for tardiness!"

"But—"

"Kitchen." He growled, pointing to the door. " _Now_."

"Alright, already! Sheesh!" Crossing her arms, Lita walked past him. "But if it ends up tasting like crap, don't say I didn't warn you!"

"Nonsense!"

Black Hat's demeanor suddenly became civil as he threw his arm around her. Lita winced, not because he was squeezing too hard, but because her shoulders were still tender from the bruising.

"If you can hold your own against a super strong—yet super annoying—mutant lizard-woman," he said with a toothless grin, "you can handle preparing a simple meal."

"Annoying?" Dementia said, springing up into a cross-legged position.

Lita glanced nervously at Black Hat's hand on her shoulder and then back at Dementia. Her mismatched eyes were narrowing at Lita, holding a mixture of hurt and fury.

 _Córcholis,_ _why does he have to keep touching me? Doesn't he realize I already have enough of Dementia to put up with as it is?_

"While I, um," Lita said, clearing her throat, "appreciate your confidence in me, sir," gently prying his fingers off her shoulder, she ducked back under his arm, "you overestimate my abilities."

"Be that as it may," he said, his one eye moving in her direction, "you forget the number one rule of being an evil henchman."

"'Never defy your boss,'" she muttered, rolling her eyes. "I know, I know. I watched the dumb tapes."

Dementia pushed herself between them, batting her eyes at Black Hat. " _I_ don't think they're dumb, sugar plum!"

Ignoring her, Black Hat moved his arm in front of her, snatching Lita by the waist and pulling her close. Steam puffed out of Dementia's nostrils.

"Exactly. So, I suggest you stop whining," he said, pushing Lita into the hall, "AND GET TO THE KITCHEN!"

With a huff, Lita marched down the hall. "No need to shout."

Black Hat watched her go in confusion. She hadn't even  _flinched_  at his outburst!

"What's  _wrong_  with that woman?" he said with a growl.

"Aw, who needs her? Now that we're  _alone_ , honeybun," Dementia whispered seductively, snaking her arms around his waist, "what say we have our  _own_  little sparring session?" She fingered the buttons of his shirt. " _Au naturel_?"

Without even looking at her, Black Hat used his tentacles to pry her off and toss her back down the hall.

* * *

When Lita arrived in the kitchen, 5.0.5. and Flug were waiting for her, the former holding out a frilly pink apron matching the one he was wearing.

"Ready for your first cooking lesson?" Flug asked.

Taking the apron, Lita replied flatly, "I'm gonna burn the place down."

"Don't be silly!" he said with a nervous chuckle. "The only way you could do that is if you baked cookies with dynamite! And only Dementia's ever done that!"

Had this place really desensitized her so much that such a statement didn't shock her?

"Anyway," Flug said, clearing his throat. "That's what the fire extinguisher is for."

He pointed to the wall.

"That's reassuring," Lita grumbled.

"Just make something simple. Like spaghetti."

"Does the boss even like spaghetti?"

"Oh, he'll eat anything." He leaned forward to whisper. "And I mean  _anything_."

She blinked. "So…does it really matter if it tastes awful?"

Flug's eyelids drooped beneath his goggles. "Remember,  _we're_  eating this too."

"Right."

"But don't worry," he said chipperly. "I've left the recipe by the stove and 5.0.5. will be here to help you."

That didn't encourage her. "Why can't  _you_  stay and help?"

"I would, but the boss has me on a deadline with the newly modified anti-gravity ray." He held up a finger. " _Specifically_  a ray this time, I swear!" He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Speaking of which, gotta run!"

"But—"

"Any questions," Flug called as he ran out, "just ask 5.0.5.!"

"But he doesn't even talk!" Lita hollered.

But the scientist had already left. She turned to the bear, who was pouting.

"No offense,  _chico_. I just…" She sighed. "Well, guess we have no choice but to make this work."

5.0.5. smiled brightly, making a noise as if to say, "We can do it, if we just believe in ourselves!"

Lita couldn't help but smile back as she slipped on the apron and went over to the stove.

Who knew the thing she'd be most nervous about working for a criminal organization was making lunch? She considered just throwing a bunch of ingredients into a bowl like Dementia had done, but she didn't want to accidentally poison Flug. Even Black Hat's cooking had turned out to be surprisingly delicious.

This morning, Lita had come down to find a huge platter of baked Alaska in the middle of the table. While its appearance had been tempting, she'd been hesitant to eat anything made by Black Hat. Then Flug had assured her he'd already tested it for poison, using a mechanical taste tester.

The very idea that a despicable being like Black Hat could cook something so fancy just put extra pressure on her.

Seeing her distress, 5.0.5. gently patted Lita on the back and pointed to the paper next to the stove.

"Let's see," Lita said, picking up the recipe to read it. " _Cook spaghetti in boiling water for seven to eight minutes_." She glanced around. "Boiling water, boiling water…"

5.0.5. opened a cupboard below and pulled out a large black cooking pot.

"Right, water!" Grabbing the pot, she went over to the sink. "This part, I can do."

After filling the pot up with water, she placed it on the stove. 5.0.5. moved it to a different spot.

"What?"

He pointed to the circular burner she'd placed the pot over and then at the bigger one he'd moved it to.

"Ah, I see. Bigger circle, more heat?"

The bear nodded gleefully.

"And then," she said, turning one of the knobs, "turn it on?"

Flames erupted on the stove. But not under the pot, but from the burner diagonal from it. Lita shrieked in panic.

"I told you! I told you I was gonna—"

5.0.5. switched the fire off and turned the correct knob. Lita sighed in relief as the fire warmed the pot.

"Thanks."

She spied a box of uncooked spaghetti next to the fridge. Flug must've brought that out for her. Picking it up, she ripped the top open and was about to pour it into the pot when 5.0.5. stopped her with his paw, shaking his head insistently.

"What now?" she asked with a moan.

Picking up the recipe, 5.0.5. pointed to the word 'boiling' and then at the still water in the pot.

"Oh," she said, her shoulders slumping. "Not boiling. Right." She set down the box. "How long do we have to wait?"

5.0.5. held up his paws, supposedly to show a number.

"At least you're cute." She stared at the pot. "So, what do we do in the meantime?"

The bear pointed to the next bullet point on the paper.  _Simmer tomato sauce in saucepan until it bubbles._

"What the hell is a saucepan?" Lita asked in frustration.

5.0.5. reopened the cupboard and took out a tiny round pan with a handle. He then pointed to a jar of tomato sauce also sitting by the fridge.

"You know what?" she said, grabbing the jar. "How about  _you_  just handle the sauce?"

Once the water had boiled, Lita set the egg timer for eight minutes and poured the spaghetti in. 5.0.5. showed her how to stir it.

"So now we just wait?"

The bear pointed to a spice rack and then back to the recipe.  _Spices can be added while cooking pasta._

"I can add anything I want?"

Her answer was a happy nod. Lita went over to the rack to read the labels on the shakers.

Neither her nor 5.0.5. noticed Dementia slithering on the floor. While she enjoyed being loud, she could be silent and slick when she wanted to. She'd been watching Lita and the bear for a good ten minutes.

 _What does my honey bunny see in that flat-chested little skank?!_  Dementia had been thinking.  _Sure, she can fight, but can she blow an entire hospital to the moon? Can she rip a racoon apart with nothing but her teeth? Can she crush a human skull with her bare thighs? Can she sing a rock opera dedicated to the most handsomest demon in the universe?!_

And yet her beloved had had his hands all over that tramp! And had completely ignored Dementia!

_Well, let's see what he thinks of you after you destroy his lunch!_

When she was certain the others weren't looking, Dementia peered over the stove and took out a vial she'd stolen from Flug's lab. The label read  _DANGER: NITROGLYCERIN_.

Dementia chuckled to herself as she dunked the colorless liquid into the boiling pot. Hearing a noise, 5.0.5. turned around, but Dementia had slithered away before he could catch her.

Meanwhile, Lita had been perusing the spices. The only one she recognized was paprika. She remembered her father using that on chicken, and that it had tasted good. Grabbing the shaker, she returned to the pot. 5.0.5. moaned curiously at her choice.

"What?" she said, shaking the paprika in. "You said I could choose whatever spice I wanted."

5.0.5. opened his mouth but then paused. Lita watched as he sniffed the air. Curious, she also took a whiff.

"Wow, I didn't know spaghetti could smell so…sugary?"

The bear's eyes widened in alarm. Suddenly, he leaped at Lita, tackling her to the ground in a huge hug.

"Hey! What are you—?"

_BOOM!_

The entire kitchen shook. Lita couldn't see anything from under 5.0.5., but she didn't dare move. There was the smell of something burning, and the crackling sound of flames. The bear finally jumped off her and rushed to fetch the fire extinguisher. Lita screamed at the mess before her.

The stove had exploded into pieces, a rectangular formation of black soot in its place. 5.0.5. had shielded her from the debris, but the danger wasn't over. The pot containing what was left of the spaghetti sat on the floor, encased in flames! The bear made panicked growls as he extinguished the flames with foam. Lita panted heavily as she stared at the foamy, black mess.

"I knew paprika was hot, but not  _that_  hot!"

Familiar giggling caused her to turn her head towards the exit. Dementia was leaning on the doorframe with one hand, the other on her hip as she grinned triumphantly at the other woman.

"You're gonna get it!" she taunted in a singsong manner. "You're gonna get it!"

Flug pushed past her as he came rushing into the kitchen. He squealed as he took in the scene of destruction.

"What the hell happened?!"

"I-I don't know!" Lita said as 5.0.5. helped her up. "I was just…making the spaghetti and…I followed the recipe, I swear! Then I put in some paprika and—"

"Paprika?!" Flug shouted, his paper brow furrowing. "You put paprika in the spaghetti?!"

"I didn't know it was gonna make it explode!"

"Black Hat's gonna kill ya!" Dementia sang with a joyful laugh. "Black Hat's gonna kill ya!"

"Shit!" Flug said, his hands flying to the sides of his head as he paced around. "Shit, shit, shit,  _shit_!"

"You're in trouble! You're in trouble!"

"M-Maybe he didn't hear the boom?" Lita said semi-hopefully.

"You kidding?!  _I_  heard that all the way from my  _lab_!" Sweat started dripping over Flug's bag—seriously, how was that even possible? "Okay. Okay, okay, okay. If we hurry, we can get to the rowboat before he—"

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KITCHEN?!"

Everyone flinched at the sonic boom of a voice. They all turned to the doorway in panic. Except for Dementia, whose eyes had taken on their cartoonish heart-shape once again.

Black Hat stood there, his arms firmly at his sides, his teeth clenched into a furious growl. Flug clasped his hands together and began murmuring in prayer while 5.0.5. threw his arms around Lita. Lita just stood there stiffly, biting her lip.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KITCHEN?!" Black Hat demanded again.

"Lita did it!" Dementia exclaimed, pointing happily. "Lita did it, Lita did it!"

Black Hat's one eye focused on Lita, who gulped. For the first time since her arrival, she found herself afraid of him. Afraid of what he was going to do to her.

He marched past Flug, who was a quivering mess, and up to Lita. His eye flitted up to the bear, who hesitantly let go of the woman and backed away. Lita didn't blame 5.0.5. for retreating. After all, this was her mistake and she had to own up to it.

" _Explain yourself_ ," Black Hat said through his teeth.

She winced at his venomous tone. He was clearly struggling to hold back his anger. And he had every right to be angry. But, she had to give him credit for trying to understand the situation before unleashing his wrath.

With a heavy sigh, Lita mustered up the courage to look him in the eye. Oh boy, was  _that_  a sight to behold! Red veins sprouted around his pupil as it glared down at her. His mouth was twisted into a growling frown, his lips curled back to reveal his black gums. Steam was coming out from under his hat as his hands clenched into fists.

He looked about ready to explode.

Still, Lita refused to be intimidated. She knew there was no point in trying to fight him. Best she could do was explain herself, and if that wasn't enough to cool him down, she would take whatever punishment he had in store.

"I was…" Her voice came out weak and small. "I was, uh…"

"SPEAK UP!" he shouted, his mouth opening wide.

Wiping his spit from her face, Lita squared her shoulders and spoke louder. "I was…preparing lunch, like you told me to. I followed the spaghetti recipe Flug gave me…"

Black Hat's eye rolled towards Flug, who took it as his cue to hide under the kitchen table.

"It wasn't his fault!" she insisted, not wanting to get Flug into trouble too. "Nor was it 5.0.5.'s! It was all me! I swear! I shouldn't have put that paprika in!"

At this, Black Hat seemed to calm down a bit. His shoulders relaxed, and his lips uncurled so that his fangs were not as visible. He was no longer looking at Lita in anger, but in confusion.

"Paprika?" he said, still growly.

Lita twiddled her fingers. "I, err…remembered my father using it and thought it'd be…interesting to try? I didn't know it was going to cause an explosion, though! You should really put warning labels on those things!"

"Punish her, boss!" Dementia cried, clapping her hands together as she jumped up and down. "Rip out her insides, smash her ribcage, pull out her brains!" She giggled in villainous delight. "Do it now, so I can watch!"

Black Hat glanced down at the pot on the floor. Its contents had been reduced to a pile of black mush. Bending over, he dipped his finger in and came up as he popped it into his mouth. Lita watched curiously as he smacked his lips in thought.

"Nitroglycerin?" he said.

Dementia stopped jumping, her smile dropping.

"Nitro—" Lita said, blinking in surprise. "What?"

Placing his hands behind his back, Black Hat leaned towards her. "Was it your intention to poison me, Miss Gris?"

Her eyes widened. "What? N-No, sir! I wouldn't—"

A smile tugged at his lips. "Because you're going to have to try better than that."

She blinked. "What?"

"What?!" Dementia screamed.

"Wha—OW!" Flug said, hitting his head on the table.

"Mo?" 5.0.5. said.

"You see," Black Hat said with a chuckle, "while nitroglycerin in mass doses might be toxic to humans, it has no effect on me."

He lay his hand on her shoulder. She glanced down at it, more confused than ever now.

"Although," he said, giving her shoulder a squeeze, "I commend you for the effort." He licked his lips with his snake-like tongue. "The paprika was an interesting touch. Gave it an extra kick."

"Are. You.  _Kidding me_?!"

Everyone turned to Dementia as she smashed her fists against the wall, causing it to crack.

"You weren't supposed to  _like_ it!" she wailed, breaking through the cement. "You were supposed to be really disappointed and punish her like you always punish us when we mess up! You weren't supposed to  _like_  the nitroglycerin I slipped—oop!"

She quickly covered her mouth and glanced anxiously at her boss, who was scowling at her.

"I mean, uh…" Dementia forced a laugh. "Nitroglycerin? Never heard of that stuff! What's spaghetti?"

The room went dark for a split-second. When the lights came back on, Black Hat loomed over Dementia. Giggling, she waved her fingers at him nervously.

"Uh…hi, pookie."

"Dementia," Black Hat said slowly, his teeth forming his signature evil grin. " _Darling_."

She grinned at him hopefully. "Y-Yes, my love?"

His finger touched her chin, causing her to shiver and succumb to her lovesickness.

"Did you mean to sabotage Miss Gris by ruining her meal?" he asked in a sultry tone.

Dementia whimpered as she gazed up at him dreamily, her tongue sticking out to the side. "M-Maybe a…a little?"

"I see. And you thought," he said, his free hand moving towards her neck, "the best way to do that," his grin dropped into its previous growl, "was to BLOW UP MY KITCHEN?!"

Dementia wheezed as his hand closed around her throat. Lita stepped forward, but 5.0.5. held her back, shaking his head.

"WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE SAVED YOUR EXPLOSIVE URGES," Black Hat shouted, lifting her up, her legs kicking as she struggled to breathe, "FOR BANK ROBBERIES?!"

"It was…" Dementia coughed, her hands trying to pry his off. "Just a…joke…boss!"

He then sprang up to twice his original height, his hands growing along with him. "LOOK AT WHAT YOUR  _JOKE_ ," he yelled, forcing her to look at the debris, "HAS DONE TO MY KITCHEN!"

He snarled, his eyes turning red as he released her throat and grabbed one hand onto each arm so that she was dangling like a ragdoll.

"I OUGHT TO BREAK EVERY ONE OF YOUR LIMBS FOR THIS!"

Dementia squeaked. "W-Wait! It's not like I blew up the whole house this time!" She batted her eyes up at him. "Don't I get  _some_  credit for that, sweetie?"

Black Hat paused, his giant expression softening a bit. "You're right. For that…" Then that horrible grin returned. "I'll only break  _one_ limb instead of  _four_!"

He gripped her left arm firmly to her side, and then turned his attention to her right arm. With one swift movement, he twisted it around.

_CRACK!_

Dementia's painful yowl echoed throughout the kitchen. 5.0.5. had covered his eyes so he wouldn't see the gruesome sight. Dr. Flug watched from under the table, still shaking with fear, but delighted that Dementia was the victim of their boss' wrath and not him.

Throughout this entire scene, Lita had stood frozen in place, her blue eyes wide as she watched Black Hat proceed to crush Dementia's arm oh so easily in his enlarged hand.

Lita watched it all. Not in fear. Not in terror. But in…awe.

Black Hat had been making threats since she got here, but had never truly delivered on them, never showed the full extent of his power. Until now.

She'd seen many criminals in action. She'd seen them whip out their guns and knives and fists. Some of them she'd managed to fight off, some of them had been a bit tougher. But none of them compared to the display of power before her.

It was…incredible. So effortless, so masterful, so forceful! The victim didn't even bother putting up a fight!

 _I should_ not _be watching this_ , Lita thought.  _I should look away. I should…_ ¡Újule!  _How did he even get her arm to bend that way?!_

Finally, Black Hat dropped Dementia to the floor and returned to his normal size.

"Honeybun!" She whined, cradling her twisted arm. "That  _hurt_!" She looked up at him excitedly. "Do it again!"

Rolling his eye, Black Hat turned to the rest of his subordinates. 5.0.5. had lowered his paws, and he and Flug were shaking in their skins.

But not Lita. She stood stiff as a board, her big blue eyes staring at him, her mouth open. At first, Black Hat thought he'd finally instilled fear into her, but the fear he smelled was not coming from her.

Even after all that, she  _still_  wasn't afraid of him!

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL GAWKING AT?!" he shouted, causing the three of them to jump. "CLEAN THIS MESS UP!"

Flug crawled out backwards from under the table and stood next to 5.0.5. "B-B-But…sir? W-What about lunch?"

Black Hat was silent for a moment. Then a tentacle whipped out from his trench coat and snatched up the pot of exploded spaghetti.

"GET YOUR OWN!"

Then he left the room, his coat sweeping behind him. All was silent for a good long minute.

"So!" Flug said, clapping his hands together. "Who's up for Chinese?"

Snapping out of her trance, Lita leaned onto the table for support. "Uh, yeah. Sesame chicken and an eggroll would be nice."

Thinking she was traumatized from having witnessed Black Hat's rage, Flug said, "I'll order some donuts too."

"You're a prince, Flug," Lita said, trying to ease her shallow breathing.

From the floor, Dementia let out a groan as she attempted to move her bent up arm.

Flug sighed in annoyance. "Suppose I should take care of  _that_."

He stomped over and grabbed her good arm.

"She gonna be okay?" Lita asked.

Not that she was really concerned, but Dementia was supposed to be the one training her.

"She's a fast healer," Flug explained. "I just have to put her arm in a splint so her bones can reform correctly. Otherwise, I'd have to break her arm all over again."

He said that last part a little too delightfully. For a moment, he stared into space, as if imagining the scenario.

"So…what do we do about…?" Lita asked, gesturing around the destroyed kitchen.

Shaking out of his fantasy, the scientist replied, "Just clean up the soot and throw the debris in the garbage. I'll have the Hatbots bring in a new stove."

"Where are they gonna get a…?" She caught Flug's gaze. "You know what? I don't wanna know."

"I'll let you know as soon as lunch arrives," he said as he dragged Dementia across the floor.

"Technically," Dementia said on the way out, "it was  _my_  cooking he liked because  _I_  added the nitroglycerin!"

Lita didn't mind cleaning up Dementia's mess. It allowed her enough quiet time to process the event that had just unfolded before her.

She'd just watched her boss physically abuse a colleague. A colleague who'd threatened to burn her, then tried to blow her up and then attempted to throw the blame on her.

And Lita had  _liked_  it.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" she murmured to herself as she swept up the debris.

She didn't even feel bad for Dementia. She'd deserved it. Still, Lita shouldn't have  _enjoyed_  watching her suffer. She wasn't that kind of person.

Was she?

Sure, she had knifed a rapist a few days back, a guy who'd deserved pain as much as Dementia had, but Lita hadn't taken  _pleasure_  in it!

But she hadn't been the one to hurt Dementia. That had been Black Hat. She recalled how he had grown in size, exerting his dominance over his victim. How he'd demonstrated his strength, snapping Dementia's arm as if it were nothing but a twig.

She understood why he was a being to be feared. And yet…why was she unafraid?

By the time all the debris had been tossed into a trash bag, Lita had figured out why.

Black Hat had done what  _she'd_  wanted to do to Dementia all day. He'd fulfilled her violent fantasies.

And  _boy_  had it been satisfying!

" _Wǔcān zài zhèlǐ_!" Flug called, speaking Chinese as he appeared in the doorway. "Lunch is here!"

"Good, I'm starving!" Lita exclaimed while 5.0.5. tied up the trash bag.

Flug cocked his head curiously at the woman. "Um…what's got you so happy?"

"Huh?" Putting her hand to her mouth, Lita then realized she was smiling. "Oh, um…just glad we finally get to eat, is all."

He watched her with a raised eyebrow as she walked past him. He would've thought she'd still be shaken up over the incident. After all, Black Hat was a destructive force to behold. Yet she was calm, collected and…smiling?

"Strange girl," Flug murmured to 5.0.5.

* * *

Hours later, the Hatbots arrived in the kitchen with a new stove, allowing 5.0.5. to cook dinner. Deciding she'd had enough of the kitchen for one day, Lita took her plate of spinach pie to her room. As she turned a corner, she almost ran into Black Hat. He'd appeared so suddenly, her fork practically jumped out of her hand. Black Hat caught it between his thumb and forefinger.

"Not feeling sociable tonight, I see," he said, eyeing her plate.

"Well, I wanted to get out of that kitchen," Lita said, reaching for her fork.

He moved it up higher, hanging it teasingly just out of her reach. Scowling, Lita jumped for it, but Black Hat made his arm longer so that it reached the ceiling. Not wanting to deal with this, she walked past him, confusing Black Hat.

"Don't you want your fork back?"

"I'll eat with my hands," Lita grumbled.

Just then, her plate was snatched out of her hold by another extended arm. She turned back to Black Hat, who was smirking as he lifted her plate up to meet her fork.

"Now, see, there's being evil," she said, marching up to him, "and then there's just being childish."

"I'll return your supper," Black Hat said, sticking the fork into the pie so he could shrink one arm back down, "after you answer me a question."

Lita crossed her arms. "Fine."

His face grew serious as his eye locked onto hers. "Why weren't you afraid of me today?"

Her scowl disappeared. "Come again?"

"Don't pretend not to know what I'm referring to," Black Hat said, leaning close enough that she could smell his icy, rotten breath. "You were clearly trembling when Dementia accused you of destroying my kitchen. That is to be expected. Of course, I suspected it hadn't been you from the beginning."

"You did?" she said in surprise.

"Of course. I know very well paprika doesn't explode, and Dementia is prone to exploding things."

"So," Lita said in thought, "when you… _congratulated_  me on attempting to poison you…"

He smirked. "It was merely a ruse to get Dementia to confess."

She stared at him, impressed.

"The point is," Black Hat said, his seriousness returning, "when I… _punished_  Dementia, and you watched, your fear…went away."

Her cheeks reddened.

"I  _know_  I was frightening," he said, stepping closer to her. "I could smell the fear from those three idiots. Yet from  _you_ ," he stopped, "there was nothing."

Their toes were now touching. Lita's face now resembled a tomato as she gazed up at his curious expression.

"So tell me then, Miss Gris." His teeth gritted together. "Why. Weren't. You. Afraid?"

She couldn't tell him. It was too embarrassing! He'd think she was as crazy as Dementia!

"My arm is getting tired, Miss Gris," he said, tipping the plate slightly.

Shutting her eyes, Lita murmured, "I…liked it."

He looked at her, confused. "Pardon?"

Grunting, she opened her eyes. "I  _liked_  it, okay?! What you did…the way you…it was…" She sighed in defeat. "Cool."

She winced, waiting for him to make fun of her. Or punish her for saying something so ridiculous. When nothing happened, she opened her eyes to find her plate being held out to her.

"Enjoy your meal," Black Hat said with a grin. "Although, I doubt you'll enjoy it as much as you enjoyed  _lunch_."

"Shut up," Lita murmured, snatching her plate.

She stomped quickly away before he could pull another juvenile prank. Or worse, get her to say something else embarrassing!

"I told you you'd like being evil!" he called as she turned the next corner.

But Lita knew it had nothing to do with being evil. What she'd witnessed in the kitchen had been a brutal display of invincibility. Something she'd never seen in any being before. Something she'd…craved for a long time.

How did he do it? How had he harnessed such power?

And how long would it take for her to find out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Dementia. You had it coming.
> 
> If that simplified Chinese translation is wrong, I apologize and please correct me. But remembering Flug took Chinese in kindergarten, I figured he'd throw it in, considering the food they ordered.


	11. Insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Black Hat learns one of Lita's fears.

With Dementia out of commission for a few days, Flug set five of the Hatbots into combat mode to train Lita. When Black Hat passed by the gym, he found her and the bots engaged in a bo staff battle. He stopped in the doorway, watching her staff click with theirs with every block. One Hatbot managed to hit her shoulder from behind, but she quickly recovered and spun around, swinging her staff below to knock the robot over. Her technique was sloppy, but her reflexes were swift.

Black Hat felt a mixture of awe and frustration as he watched her. Her admission to having  _enjoyed_  observing his wrath yesterday had been…interesting. On one hand, he'd been thrilled that she had a deep-rooted sadism within her. On the other, he'd been disappointed that he had failed to frighten her once again. Even Dementia, who was crazily obsessed with him, feared him to some degree! And Flug, who had his own sadistic pleasures, cowered in the presence of his boss!

But Lita…Black Hat couldn't figure her out! How could she shrink from Dementia, yet not from him? How could she insist there was no such thing as evil, yet still took pleasure in others' pain? And how could she wear a turtleneck during a workout? At least this one was blue rather than black, so the fuzz wouldn't stick as much.

Lita was so focused on the Hatbots, she had not yet noticed her boss standing in the doorway. Grinning mischievously, Black Hat decided to take advantage of this. Dissolving into his shadow on the floor, he slithered up behind her. Then, materializing, he let out a roar, buzz-saws, tentacles and crab claws coming out of his mouth.

What he got instead of a scream was a hard blow to the face, knocking him to the side. Once Lita saw who she'd hit, her mouth dropped open.

"Boss!"

The Hatbots dropped their bo staffs and gave shaky salutes. Glancing around, Lita realized she was the only one holding a weapon now.

"Shit."

Black Hat stood back up, his face returned to normal as he glared at her.

"S-Sorry!" Lita stammered, holding her staff behind her back. "You s-startled me, sir…and…r-reflex and…"

Growling, Black Hat reached behind her and snatched the staff from her hands. He then raised it above her head. Lita tried backing away but he grabbed her wrist with his free hand. She was so sure he was going to strike her.

Scowling, Lita wrenched her wrist away through his thumb. "It's  _your_  fault for sneaking up on me like that! What did you expect?"

He snarled as he brought down the bo. Lita raised her arm to block it, but it never made contact. Black Hat held the staff out to the side.

"You're gripping it too hard," he said gruffly, spinning the staff loosely in his hand. "You need to let the staff move by itself."

Lowering her arm, Lita watched as he gracefully moved the staff from one hand to the other, before holding it out to her.

"R-Right," she said, taking it. "It's, uh…been a while since I used a staff. Well, my mom and I used brooms, but…"

She trailed off as he moved behind her and lay one hand on her shoulder.

"Don't stand so squarely," he commanded, pushing her right shoulder forward. "Keep a sideways stance with one foot forward. Otherwise, you'll be hitting yourself more than your opponent."

Lita silently obeyed with her right foot.

"Now," he said, moving one hand down her right arm, "let's start with the basics. Make sure you're holding the center of the staff. Again. Don't grip it. With time you'll realize the staff has a mind of its own."

Nodding, she positioned her right hand to the middle of the staff.

"Focus your gaze on one of the ends," he said, lifting her chin up with his left hand. "Now, I want you to draw a figure eight."

She didn't flinch as his gloved hand closed over hers. She trusted him, at least in this. He sounded like he knew what he was doing. His directions were certainly clearer than Dementia's, whose teaching method was mostly shouting "Hit!" "Punch!" and "Kick!"

"Let it drop to your left, slowly," Black Hat said, guiding her hand with each movement. "Follow the end with your eyes. Bring back up, let it drop to the other side, come back around, let it drop, and just keep going. Don't take your gaze off the end!"

They continued making slow figure eights in the air. Eventually, they became faster and Black Hat felt she was ready enough for him to let go and back away. Already, her balance and grip had improved.

"Once you've gotten used to one hand, you can start using both," Black Hat said.

"Where'd you learn this?" Lita asked, switching over to the left hand once the right one had gotten tired.

"Left foot forward!" he exclaimed before answering. "Beijing, third century."

The staff flew out of her hand as she turned to him. "Third  _what_  now?"

"You didn't grip hard  _enough_!" Black Hat shouted, stretching out his arm to retrieve the staff.

"But… _third century_?!" she said, walking up to him. "I mean I know you're immortal, but…just how old…were you born this way or—?"

Sighing, Black Hat tossed the stick aside. "Perhaps that's enough of the bo staff for today." He pointed to the hanging rings. "You may spend the rest of your training period on gymnastics."

"Fine," Lita said, running towards the rings.

"Assuming you can do that without supervi—"

Leaping up, she gripped the rings and swung her legs forward, tucking them in as she rolled upward. Black Hat shut his mouth as she hung upside-down, her long ponytail dangling as she extended her legs upward. She caught his stunned expression.

"What?" she said, her arms shaking slightly as she held herself in place. "This is how," she said, dropping her legs to swing herself forward, "I stayed in shape," when she was right-side-up, her legs swung sideways into a split, "at home."

Black Hat blinked, amazed not only at her flexibility, but her ability to follow directions. When he'd tried to train Dementia, she'd been too busy ogling at him and copping feels to listen. And while Flug was a better listener, he was also a nervous wreck and often messed up as a result. With Lita, he had simply needed to point and she followed. He wasn't used to such diligence.

"Am I doing it right, sir?" Lita asked, her legs now straightened as she started on some dips.

Shaking his head, he replied, "Yes, yes. Very good. I'll, um…leave you to it, then."

* * *

The next few days were…strange for Lita. For some reason, Black Hat had the sudden compulsion to pop up in random places, trying to scare her with some gruesome shapeshifted face. Around the corner, in a closet, in the refrigerator, in her computer screen, in the bathroom mirror. That last one had resulted in her smacking him with a wet towel.

The first few times had made her jump in surprise, but after a while, it just became bothersome to a point where she'd just walk past him or close the door on him, depending on the situation. A few times she had struck him out of reflex. Fortunately, he never punished her for it. That may have been due to the fact that she had run away before he could.

But Black Hat's apparent need for annoying her wasn't the problem. It was Dementia. Though she was still recovering, her broken right arm in a splint, whenever Lita came across her, the lizard-girl would send her a furious look. One evening at dinner, Dementia had taken her chicken leg between her teeth and snapped it in two, all while glaring across the table at Lita.

Lita had decided to eat the rest of her meal in her room.

But other than the jump scares and stink eyes, Lita wasn't having much trouble settling into the household. Cooking was still confusing, but thanks to 5.0.5.'s help and Dementia's injury, there were no more explosions. And despite the daily need for an ice bath, she was starting to get used to the long, vigorous training sessions.

It wasn't until her seventh day that she ran into trouble. She was vacuuming the carpet in the hallway when she heard Black Hat shouting.

"YOU STUPID BEAR! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

Switching off the vacuum, Lita went to investigate. She peered into an open doorway leading to Black Hat's trophy room. Her boss, who had grown twice his normal size, was looming over a shivering 5.0.5. Between them on the floor were colored shards.

"THAT VASE WAS MING!" Black Hat shouted, his voice lower than its usual tone. "WORTH MORE THAN IT TOOK TO MAKE YOU! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT TOOK TO STEAL THIS THING?!"

Whimpering, the bear dropped to the floor and covered his head with his paws.

"YOU STUPID, DIM-WITTED, FAILED CREATION OF SCIENCE!" The demon bared his sharp claws. "I OUGHT TO RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND TWIST THEM ROUND YOUR NECK!"

Lita's hand flew to her mouth. She knew it would be unwise to intervene, especially after watching Dementia get punished. But that had been different. 5.0.5. had been the only one in this madhouse to be consistently nice to her from the beginning. He didn't deserve to be punished for something that was clearly an accident.

As Black Hat raised his claw, Lita charged into the room, shouting, "Stop! Don't hurt him!"

He whipped around, his eye glowing red as it glared at her. This caused Lita to stop in her tracks.

" _WHAT DID YOU SAY?!_ " Black Hat shouted, his voice shaking the room so hard the painting tipped out of their upright positions.

Lita's hands trembled as she gazed up at his monstrous form, remembering what he'd done to Dementia. As fun as that had been to watch, she didn't want the same thing happening to  _her_.

Then she glanced at 5.0.5., not wanting the same thing to happen to him either. She knew he was indestructible, but any severe injury was still bound to hurt.

After deciding which scenario she preferred more, Lita took a deep breath and faced the demon boldly. "It was an accident! He doesn't deserve to be punished!"

Black Hat let out a demonic growl that sent a chill up her spine. "THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU! LEAVE NOW BEFORE I EXACT THE SAME PUNISHMENT ON YOU!"

Scowling, Lita crossed her arms. "Go ahead! Choke me with my own intestines! Just leave 5.0.5. alone!"

5.0.5. squeaked in protest while Black Hat stared at her in disbelief.

Once again, any fear he'd smelled from her had diminished as quickly as it had come.

Gritting his teeth together so hard that they cracked, Black Hat swept Lita up, his hand large enough to encircle her completely.

"WHAT IS  _WRONG_  WITH YOU?!" He roared into her face, sending her hair flying back. "WHY AREN'T YOU AFRAID RIGHT NOW?!"

Refusing to back down, Lita continued to glare at him as he tightened his grip. "I'm not…afraid…of dying!"

He brought her closer to his face, so that she was but an inch away from his enlarged red eye. "EVERYONE'S AFRAID OF  _SOMETHING_!"

Her brow furrowed further. "Even you?"

He blinked, surprised at this response. "What?"

While his voice still held its demonic tone, it had dropped in volume significantly. Lita managed to pull one of her arms out of his grasp and used it to lean herself forward.

"You said everyone's afraid of something. What are  _you_  afraid of?"

Silence fell as he held her there, the two of them engaged in an intense staring contest. Honestly, Lita didn't care if he killed her right then and there. After all,  _he'd_  be the one losing a valuable thief. Besides, if she couldn't protect her father anymore, at least she could die protecting another.

But Black Hat couldn't kill her, or injure her as severely as he had done with Dementia. Lita wasn't as durable. He needed her physically able enough to steal. If he were to kill her, all that talent would be wasted.

Did she know that? Was  _that_  why she was unafraid?

Finally, he released the woman, dropping her to the floor. She yelped from the impact and struggled to rise as her boss shrank back to his normal height.

"Since you're so inclined to defend this," Black Hat said, glancing at 5.0.5., "pathetic excuse of a henchman," he looked back at her, "you'll be completing his list of chores for today." Grabbing the front of her turtleneck, he lifted her onto her feet. " _All_  of it!"

"Fine," Lita said, swiping his hand away. "Just let the Hatbots know I'll be missing our training session this afternoon."

He watched in bewilderment as she straightened out her turtleneck, acting as if she'd merely tripped. Growling, Black Hat snapped his fingers, magically reforming the Ming vase and bringing it back onto its pedestal. Lita crossed her arms at this.

"If you could've done that this whole time, why—?"

"JUST GET BACK TO WORK BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!"

Holding up her hands in surrender, Lita walked casually out of the room. Black Hat glanced down at the bear, who was staring up at him in confusion. A scowl from the demon convinced 5.0.5. to rush after Lita.

Wanting to release his urge to destroy something, Black Hat cried out furiously as he extended his arms, smashing through the walls on either side of him.

"That woman is getting on my last nerve!" he exclaimed, shrinking his arms back. "First, she takes pleasure in the suffering of a colleague, but then prevents the suffering of another?!"

He stomped his foot so hard, his prized medieval shield fell off the wall.

"Why isn't she afraid of me?!" he said, grabbing the shield so he could look at his reflection. "WHO  _WOULDN'T_  BE AFRAID OF ME?!"

He ended up crushing the shield in his hands. Unfazed, he tossed it aside, wedging it into an ionic column. He could always fix it later.

"I could've killed her," he muttered, closing his fingers around what he imagined to be Lita's head. "I had her in my claws. I could've crushed her into a pile of dust!"

Growling, he smashed his hands together.

And yet…she had stood her ground, looked him directly in the eye and called him out on his bullshit. She'd even dared to suggest that  _he_  had fears!

Strange. No one had ever asked that of him before. Therefore, he'd never had a reason to think about it.  _Was_  there something he was afraid of?

Black Hat shook this thought out of his head. "What do  _I_  have to be afraid of? I'm invincible!" He looked to the open doorway. "It's  _her_  who should be afraid! And I'll find out what it is," he said, pressing his fingers together in determination, "one way or another."

* * *

When Lita entered the gym the next morning, the door slammed shut behind her.

"Miss me, girlfriend?"

She spun around, coming face-to-face with Dementia, who was leaning leisurely back against the door.

"D-Dementia!" Lita stammered, glancing at the lizard-girl's splint-free arm. "You're…you're all better!"

"Yup!" she exclaimed, flexing her bare right arm. "The Nutcracker's back in business!" She kissed the muscles. "But, just to make sure she's  _really_  repaired," she said, her eyes moving towards Lita, "what say we have a little lesson in… _boxing_?"

Lita gulped, not liking the tone of her voice. "Um, sounds good." She glanced around. "Err…where do you keep the boxing gloves? Oh, wait. I've got some in my room."

She reached for the door bar, only for Dementia to spread herself out fully against it.

"Oh," she said with a toothy grin. "We won't be needing gloves."

Taking a step back, Lita said, "Um…okay. I can go bare-knuckled. So, uh…where's the ring?"

"This  _is_  the ring," Dementia said, stalking towards her.

There was a crazed look in the lizard-girl's mismatched eyes, one that caused Lita to raise her fists readily.

"You thought you could get me in trouble, huh?" Dementia said, raising her own fists. "Thought you could get rid of me, huh?" Her teeth gritted together as she scowled. "Thought you could have my honeybun all to yourself, did ya?!"

The right hook came fast, but Lita ducked in time.

"Well, Nutcracker ain't too happy about that!"

"Not this again!" Lita shouted, jumping away from the left hook. "I already told you! I'm not interested in the boss!"

Dementia huffed. "You think I'm an idiot? You think I don't see ya all over him like sauerkraut on wheat?!"

"Sauerkraut on—?" Lita said, blocking her jab. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Come on! Every time I turn around, he has his arm around you!"

Dementia swiped both arms in an attempt to grab her. Lita rolled out of the way.

"How is that  _my_  fault?!" she said as she came back up. " _He's_  the one putting his arm around me! And he only does it to mess with me!"

"Well, I don't see you discouraging him!" Dementia shouted, whipping her fists out rapidly.

Lita backed away to avoid the next round of punches. "He wouldn't be interested anyway! What about Rule 10V3?!"

The lizard-girl laughed. "We're villains! Rules don't apply to us!"

"And it's not  _my_  fault you got in trouble!  _You_  were the one who exploded my spaghetti!"

"Ha! I improved it!" She lunged forward, only for Lita to step to the side. "Who puts paprika in spaghetti anyway?!"

"I can't believe you're getting this worked up over Black Hat! What do you even see in him? The guy fucking broke your arm!"

"I know!" Her eyes gazed up dreamily at the ceiling. "And it was… _amazing_!"

"But that's abu—" Lita cocked her head. "Then again…is it  _really_  abuse if the victim is a masochist?"

Suddenly, Dementia caught her off-guard with an uppercut to her chin. Yelping in pain, Lita backed away, moving swiftly from side to side to avoid Dementia's blows and kicks.

"You  _wish_  Black Hat would break  _your_  arm!" the lizard-girl said, cackling maniacally. " _You_  just wouldn't last as long!"

Lita found herself being backed into a corner. Dementia was moving too fast for her to keep up. She cried out as the mutant's foot made contact with her ribs, forcing her to bend forward. Grinning in triumph, Dementia grabbed her chin with her left hand. Lita attempted to pull away, but her grip was too strong!

"You're a tough cookie," Dementia said, raising the Nutcracker. "But you're still breakable."

* * *

When Flug entered the kitchen to get some apples for his experiment, he found Lita sticking her head inside the freezer.

"Lita, I didn't think it was your turn to make—"

"Ow!" she cried out, hitting her head on the freezer door.

"Oh, geez!" Flug exclaimed, rushing towards her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Lita yelled, turning her face away from him. "Nothing to worry about! You just startled me!"

He raised an eyebrow as she buried her head further into the freezer. She appeared to be holding something up to the left side of her face.

"You…sure?"

"Yeah, great!" She waved her free hand back at him. "Go on! Nothing to see here! I'm just peachy!"

Not buying her act, Flug gripped her shoulders and spun her around. The item she held over her left eye was a cold compress.

"What happened to your eye?" he asked.

"Nothing!" Lita said, attempting to cover it up with her other hand in vain. "I just… _really_  like the feeling of ice on my…"

She trailed off as Flug crossed his arms, staring incredulously at her. Sighing in defeat, Lita slowly lowered the ice pack, revealing the swollen purpleness surrounding her left eye. Flug gave her a sympathetic look.

"Was it the boss or Dementia?"

"Dementia," Lita murmured. "Revenge of the Nutcracker."

"Ah." He raised his hand towards her face. "May I?"

Nodding, she allowed Flug to touch her face and examine her eye. "Any problems moving it?"

"No," she replied quietly.

"Any dizziness or headache?"

"No."

He held up two fingers. "How many fingers do you see?"

"Two."

"Good." He dropped both hands. "Well, there doesn't appear to be any bleeding in the eye, so you shouldn't need any medical attention." He leaned forward to whisper. "Which is good, because I'm not a medical doctor."

Lita blinked. "What do you when someone's  _really_  injured?"

Flug shrugged. "I patch it up as best I can. On rare occasions, we have a retired member of the organization working at the Hat Island Hospital." He rolled his eyes. "Instead of removing people's organs he's switched to  _fixing_  them. Sad how the mighty have fallen."

She crossed her arms. "You do  _hear_  yourself sometimes, right?"

Ignoring her question, Flug reached into the fridge and pulled out a plastic container of pineapple chunks. "Here. You'll want some Vitamin C. It'll help the swelling reduce faster, and strengthen your blood vessels to reduce any future bruising." Taking her hand, he moved the ice pack back over her eye. "Apply ice every hour for fifteen to twenty minutes. Then tomorrow, do the same with a warm compress."

"For someone who's not a medical doctor," Lita said, taking the pineapple chunks, "you seem to know a lot about this."

"Well," he said, rubbing his arm anxiously, "let's just say I know a lot of first aid from experience."

That sentence led her to a disconcerting conclusion. With Black Hat's supernatural powers, Dementia's superhuman strength and 5.0.5.'s indestructibleness, the only other human in this house…was Flug. While he wasn't harmless, he lacked in the physical strength to defend himself. There was no doubt he'd had to treat a few injuries of his own as a result of Black Hat's and Dementia's tantrums.

She didn't have the heart to ask.

"Thanks, Flug," Lita said. "Could you…do me one more favor?"

"Depends," Flug said, closing the fridge.

She looked at him seriously. "Could you not tell the boss about my shiner?"

He blinked in bewilderment. "Um…I won't say anything, but…he's bound to find out sooner or later. Even if he didn't see it happen on the cameras, it's kind of hard to miss!"

Thinking, Lita put down the container and compress and reached back to pull the tie out of her hair. She then swept her hair to the side, brushing a chunk in the front over her left eye. She then retied the ponytail so that it was hanging over her left shoulder.

"There," she said, brushing the hair further over her shiner. "He'll never notice."

Flug shook his head. "You're being ridiculous. You can't hide that thing forever. Besides, what would be the point in—?"

"Just don't tell him about it!" Lita snapped, picking up the container and compress. "Okay?!"

Holding the pack over her eye, she stomped out of the kitchen.

"I don't see what the big deal is!" he called after her. "I get black eyes all the time and no one's ever said anything!"

"That's because you wear that stupid bag, genius!"

He paused. "The point still stands!"

* * *

While doing her chores that afternoon, Lita kept her head low in case Black Hat was watching the cameras. Even though her hair covered her shiner, she didn't want to take any chances. She was so emotionally drained by dinnertime, she didn't feel like eating. She especially didn't want to encounter Dementia in the kitchen and give her the opportunity to gloat. So, once seven o'clock hit, she put away the cleaning supplies and headed straight for her room.

She almost bumped into Black Hat as she turned a corner.

"Retiring to bed?"

She backed off, but didn't scream, keeping her head lowered.

"Err, um," Lita said, moving her hair further over her eye. "Yeah. I've, uh, finished the chores you asked me to do today, sir."

He looked down at her curiously. "No supper?"

"Not hungry, sir," she said, trying to move past him. " _Buenos noches_."

Her actions made him frown. Something was…off about her. Usually, Lita would look him straight in the eye while addressing him. And yet, her head was down, her hand over her face, as if she were trying to hide something.

She appeared…guilty. And though the scent wasn't rich, she still emanated more fear than he'd smelled from her all week. Black Hat's grin returned at the thought that she had done something she wasn't supposed to do and was afraid he'd find out. Now was the perfect opportunity to scare it out of her!

Spinning around, he quickly snatched her arm, pulling her back to face him.

"If there's something you're hiding from me," he said as tiny bugs started crawling out of his gums and all over his teeth, "you're wasting your…"

Then his smile fell when he realized she wasn't looking at him, missing the disgusting display in his mouth. Only the right side of her face was showing as she kept the other side turned away. Also, he was just now noticing that she was wearing her hair differently today. Her ponytail was hanging loosely over the side, rather than in the back like usual.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, sir," Lita said, trying to pry herself out of his grasp. "I'm n-not hiding anything."

She was stammering too. Clearly, something was making her uneasy. But she was  _never_  uneasy in front of him.

"Then look at me," he said with a frustrated growl.

"S-Sir?"

He gave her arm a firm shake. "TURN AROUND AND LOOK AT ME, WOMAN!"

Lita hesitated, then moved her head slowly, but still keeping it low. As he got a better look at her, Black Hat's grip loosened slightly. Her hair was covering half her face, and through the strands he could make out the color purple.

Curious, he slowly raised his free hand towards her face. Lita recoiled, turning her head away again.

"I'm not going to strike you," he said in an annoyed tone.

She shook her head. "That's…not what I'm w-worried about, sir."

He reached for her hair.

"Don't!"

Black Hat growled in frustration. "For hell's sake, woman, I just want a look at you!"

Lita shut her eyes, knowing he wasn't going to let her go until he saw. Flug had been right. There was no point in trying to hide it.

Hanging her head in defeat, she slowly turned back towards him. When Black Hat raised his claw towards her face, she didn't recoil this time and allowed him to move back the loose strands.

Her swollen eye was now exposed. Lita opened her eyes to see her boss staring at it in confusion.

"I know  _I_  didn't do that," he said quietly.

Despite the fact that he'd seen it, she covered the shiner with her free hand. "D-Dementia…b-boxing."

"Ah," he said with a smirk. "Well, as the old saying goes: no pain, no…"

He trailed off when something else caught his eye. In grabbing her arm, the sleeve of her turtleneck had moved up slightly, revealing some discoloration above her wrist. His face fell as he used his other hand to roll up the sleeve.

The black eye wasn't her only injury. Her olive skin was covered in splotches of purple, brown and yellow. Fresh bruises, and faded ones.

"And…these?"

Wrenching her arm away, Lita hastily rolled her sleeve back into place. "B-Bruises are…expected when…sparring."

His eye fell to her now concealed wrist. "That's quite a lot of bruising."

Not that he really cared that she was hurt. He was just…surprised that she'd sustained so much injury and hadn't said anything about it.

Tearing her gaze from him, Lita hid her arms behind her back. "It, um…won't happen again, sir."

Now he was truly curious. She didn't appear to be in pain. Rather…embarrassed. But for what?

Her recent habit of wearing turtlenecks made sense now. She'd been trying to cover up her injuries, which probably didn't limit to her arms if she'd felt the need to conceal her neck. And she'd changed her hair to hide her black eye. But why? Why go through all the trouble? Why did him seeing her injuries scare her more than him threatening to kill her?

As he continued to observe her, Black Hat slowly started to understand.

She wasn't hurting from the injuries, but from the fact that she'd been injured in the first place.

But of course. While Lita was skillful, she wasn't indestructible like Black Hat and 5.0.5., nor as durable as Dementia. She was human like Flug, and just as vulnerable. And that's what scared her. Being perceived as vulnerable.

This theory would explain a lot. Why she frequently stood up to him, even though she was outmatched. Why she had been ready to accept his punishment rather than look like a coward and run away. She didn't want to appear weak, which was, ironically, her own weakness.

Black Hat smiled to himself, thrilled that he'd solved at least one piece of the puzzle that was Adelita Gris.

"I'll…do better next time, sir," Lita said, still not looking at him. "I'm just…not used to dealing with Dementia's brute strength."

That smile left as quickly as it had come.

Black Hat…didn't like seeing her like this. The strong, bold woman he'd come to know over the past week had been reduced to this nervous, shameful victim. And frankly, the reason was silly! Did she really think he was going to berate her for a few bruises? Like he cared if his subordinates got injured in the line of duty!

Then he found himself stricken with a strange compulsion. A compulsion to do something… something…questionable.

"But now that I've got a better idea of her fighting style," Lita continued, "I should be able to get through our next session without a…"

Suddenly, she felt something cold on her chin. It was Black Hat's finger. Slowly, it lifted her chin up so that her gaze met his. His mouth wasn't grinning or frowning, but in a small, straight line. It made him appear…serious.

"Villains are not invulnerable, Miss Gris," Black Hat said.

She pursed her lips, astonished by his sudden soft tone.

"Even the best villains get injured from time to time," he continued. "Even if they win the battle, they may come out with a few…scratches."

His one eye moved to his left. In the direction of his monocle.

"But that," he said, looking back at her, "does not make them any less strong. What makes a villain strong is that they never stop fighting, despite how many hits they've taken." He gave a small smile. "And based on the fact that you're still walking, and your organs are still intact, I'd say you did just that."

Both of them were silent for a long while as his eye stared into hers. Lita remained still, having not expected these words to come from Black Hat's mouth. And said so sincerely too. His finger didn't feel so cold anymore as it held her chin gently.

Then, realizing he was still touching her, Black Hat lowered his finger and cleared his throat.

"That being said," he said, placing his hands behind his back, "the next time you receive an injury, don't feel the ridiculous inclination to cover it up. After all," he said, tapping his monocle, "battle scars are nothing to be ashamed of."

And with that, he walked past her, leaving her frozen in astonishment. Raising one hand over her shiner, Lita turned to watch Black Hat's back as it disappeared around the next corner.

"Huh."

When she turned back, she found Dementia in her face.

"Ready for Round Two?" she said chipperly.

Lita screamed as she scrambled backward, her fists flying up to defend herself. Dementia let out a cackle that was much lower than her usual one. Lita then watched in confusion as Dementia's skin turned inside-out, morphing into Black Hat.

"Aha!" he cried, pointing at her triumphantly. "Got you at last!"

She stared at him for a long while. Black Hat expected her to scold and or punch him. What he hadn't expected was for her to burst out laughing.

He cocked his head at her. "What's so funny?"

"You…" She struggled to breath as she continued to laugh. "You… _¡Hijole!_  You…you got me good!" She clutched her stomach, bending over. "I was…when I thought…I was so  _scared_!"

Crossing his arms, Black Hat sighed in exasperation. "You are by far the strangest mortal I've ever encountered."

Finally calming down, Lita wiped away a tear. "Guess that makes us even then." She went up and punched him playfully in the shoulder. "You're the strangest  _being_  I've ever encountered."

He raised an eyebrow at this casual action.

"Thanks for, uh," she said, blushing slightly, "cheering me up, boss."

"Don't mention it," he said, narrowing his gaze at her. " _Ever_."

She caught his drift and knew not to push it any further. "I'll, uh…see you around then."

She walked past him, deciding she might have dinner after all. Black Hat dug his claws into his arms, resisting the urge to watch her leave.

What had possessed him to do that?  _Comfort_  her like that?! Villains didn't  _comfort_  their subordinates!

 _I had to!_  Black Hat thought.  _She was being pathetic! I can't have my henchgirl be pathetic over something so insignificant as a black eye!_

Yes, that was it. He just wanted her to be able to do her job without getting hung up on minor injuries. It had nothing to do with wanting to cheer her up.

Well, at the very least, he'd gotten a good scare out of her. And had finally uncovered one of her insecurities.

"So, you're afraid of being seen as a weakling, are you? Interesting," he said quietly, his teeth showing as he grinned. "Now  _that_  is something I can use."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd actually written that last scene earlier on, but then realized it might be better used later. Then it was just going to be about the bruises on her arm, but when the scene made me realize something about Lita's character, I figured she'd make more of an effort to hide her injuries until they were no longer unnoticeable.
> 
> Leave a comment! I'd love to know what you all think of this story so far!


	12. It's the Hard-Knock Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita finds herself caught in the crossfires and Black Hat makes a shocking realization.

When Lita looked up her schedule on the app the next morning, there was a surprising absence of her usual training session in the gym. Instead, she was scheduled to assist Flug in the lab after breakfast. And then after lunch there was a commercial filming.

 _Is he going to have me be in his commercials?_  Lita thought, glancing down at the bruises on her arms.  _Hardly think I'm in any shape for that._

At least her eye had healed a little. When she went down to the kitchen for breakfast, she found a warm compress in the first aid kit. As she grabbed a slice of quiche—it'd been the boss' turn to make breakfast—and sat down to eat, she pondered about her conversation with Black Hat yesterday.

It was strange. She hadn't expected him to say anything remotely reassuring. She'd thought he'd scold her for letting herself get injured so many times, or at least make fun of her. And yet…he'd encouraged her to embrace her battle scars. She didn't wear a turtleneck today, but a gray long-sleeve tee that exposed her bruised neck. If Flug asked, she would just shrug it off and say it would heal like the rest.

The kitchen was curiously empty this morning. Where  _was_  everybody? Black Hat never joined them for meals, but the others were usually here by now. Unless Dementia had slept in again.

The unsettling quiet made Lita realize how used she'd become to these meals. Even though 5.0.5. didn't talk and Dementia and Flug would spend half the time trying to kill each other, at least she hadn't been alone. She didn't have any friends back home and the last person she'd eaten with who wasn't her father had been Paolo.

The thought of him caused her to slowly lower her fork, her appetite gone.

She decided to just get up to the lab and find Flug before this silent kitchen drove her crazy.

As she approached the airlock doors, she heard several crashing sounds and shrieks.

"You'll never take me alive, nerd!" cried Dementia's voice.

"Who said I wanted you  _alive_?!" shouted Flug's voice.

Coming up to the keypad, Lita pressed the access code. As soon as the doors whizzed open, lasers started flying towards her. Yelping in surprise, Lita dropped to the floor.

"This is the last time you destroy my experiments, Dementia!" she heard Flug shout.

Lita looked up to see Flug holding a walkie talkie in one hand while using the other to shoot a laser gun at Dementia, who was crawling up the wall, which was now embedded with many smoking holes from the lasers. 5.0.5. was curled up under one of the tables, his paws over his eyes as he shook fearfully.

"That all you got, Fluggie?!" Dementia said, hopping onto the table the bear hid under, causing him to squeak.

"Oh, please," Flug said with a huff. "I'm just getting started!" He spoke into the talkie. "Hatbots! Get to the lab and stop Dementia!" He narrowed his eyes at his opponent. " _Lethal mode._ "

Hearing the whirring wheels of Hatbots, Lita decided she didn't want to be caught in the crossfires of…whatever  _this_  was. Crawling backward, she moved towards the wall so the dueling henchmen wouldn't spot her. Once she was a fair enough distance from the lab, she sprang up and broke into a run.

She was so focused on getting away that she hadn't been watching where she was going and ended up colliding into someone, falling to the floor. When she looked up and saw that the someone was Black Hat, who did  _not_  look happy, she forced a smile.

"Uh…morning, boss."

As if by magic, she was brought up to her feet, most likely from Black Hat's telekinesis. He scowled down at her with his arms folded across his chest.

"Miss Gris," he said slowly, "didn't you receive your schedule this morning?"

"Um, yeah," Lita said, straightening out her shirt.

"And didn't I say you were to be in the lab after breakfast?"

Wanting to ease the tenseness of this encounter, she crossed her arms to mirror him. "You did, sir."

"Then why," he said, leaning towards her, his teeth gritting together, "are you in such a hurry to be in the  _opposite_  direction of the lab?!"

Lita gulped. "W-Well, sir, I…I  _was_  heading there, but…"

The hallway seemed to grow darker. "But  _what_?!"

She hesitated, not wanting to get her colleagues in trouble. Well, not so much Dementia. Lita was certain Flug had a justified reason for wanting to obliterate her. Then again, if Lita  _didn't_ say anything, the two of them might end up destroying the entire lab. If Black Hat hadn't reacted very well to his kitchen being destroyed, she could only imagine what his reaction to this would be.

"Well, uh…" Lita said, leaning backward so she wouldn't have to smell her boss' breath. "F-Flug and Dementia just seemed a bit… _preoccupied_  and I didn't want—"

"They're at it again, aren't they?" he asked bluntly.

She blinked. "If you mean…trying to rip each other apart, sir, then…yeah."

Sighing in exasperation, he moved past her. "Children. Such children!"

Lita followed after him. "Y-You're not going to…punish them…are you, sir?"

"Why should it concern you?" he asked gruffly. "I thought you didn't like Dementia."

"I don't," she said, lightly touching her neck. "B-But…Flug…he's been nice to me."

Stopping in his tracks, Black Hat turned to her, wearing a look of disgust. "You watched the training videos, didn't you?"

Lita nodded.

"Then repeat Rule 10V3 to me."

Groaning, she replied, "'You can't involve love.'" She stiffened. "Oh wait, you're not suggesting…we're just friends!"

He held up a finger. "Rule applies to," he gagged, " _friendship_  as well."

She held up her own finger. "Your rules also say you should never defy your boss. Flug may not be the  _big_  boss, but he's still my superior, isn't he? So, shouldn't I respect him as much as you?"

"Careful, Miss Gris." Black Hat gripped his hand into a fist. "You don't want to test me."

"So, I suppose," she said, making her own hand into a fist, "I should try picking fights with my colleagues so that no work ever gets done, huh?"

His scowl dropped.

"Flug talks to me, he gives me advice, he helped treat my injuries. So, yeah, I consider him a friend. I consider 5.0.5. my friend too. So what?" She threw her hands up in the air. "I get it, you know? You're villains. You think all anyone needs is enemies. But if you ask me, I'd rather  _not_  be enemies with  _any_  of you!" She pointed to her swollen eye. "Look where  _that_  gets me! I'm supposed to be  _working_  with you, not give you a reason to want to beat me up!"

Black Hat stared at her, stunned. She made an excellent point. Flug and Dementia were enemies which, as a result, got in the way of their work. And it not only led to them battering each other up, but more destruction to Black Hat's house.

"I see what you're saying, Miss Gris."

Lita lowered her fist. "Really?"

"Of course." He grinned. "You pretend to be Flug's friend so he won't vivisect you as he does with his enemies."

"W-What?" Her arms dropped to her sides. "N-No! That's not what I was—"

"While it's a clever ruse," he said, stepping up to her and throwing his arm around her shoulders, "I wouldn't get too attached to anyone. Not even your colleagues." He whispered lowly into her ear. "You don't want to end up wallowing in pathetic misery…should something happen to them."

She leaned away from him. "Are you threatening me?"

"I am simply saying," he said, holding up his free hand, "showing affection means showing weakness. And weaknesses can be used against you." He began walking her down the hallway. "Take your father, for instance. If it hadn't been for his  _love_  for his  _wife,_  he wouldn't have fallen into debt."

Anger welled up inside Lita at the mention of her parents.

"Rather pointless though, wasn't it? Seeing as she died anyway." He chuckled. "And then poor heartbroken Ricardo turned from a master thief to a drunken bum—"

Not wanting to hear any more of this, Lita wriggled out of his grasp and said, "You gonna stop Flug and Dementia's fight or what?"

The bitterness of her tone did not escape Black Hat. He grinned further, knowing that he had struck a nerve.

"I shall," he said, folding his hands behind his back. "Assuming that you will allow me to inflict any punishment I see fit. Unless," a dark cackle bubbled in his throat, "you're too  _weak_  to witness such a thing."

Lita glared sideways at him. "If you think caring for someone is a weakness…you're even sadder than I thought."

This wiped the cocky smile off his face. He'd been so sure referring to her vulnerability would set her off. Had he been wrong?

And what she'd said, calling him  _sad_ , it was…it was…well, it was downright insulting!

 _How could she think me as_ sad _?! ME?! I've lived for millennia, conquered galaxies and defied all gods!_

Gripping his hands together to resist the urge to put her head between them, Black Hat quickened his pace so that he was ahead of her.

"Just don't get in my way!" he barked.

When he opened the airlocked doors, Flug and Dementia were still at it. She had him in a headlock atop a pile of Hatbots, while two of the remaining large Hatbots were attempting to pry her off. Flug was waving his laser gun around, missing Dementia and instead blasting other Hatbots rolling over to help. Lita ducked behind Black Hat to avoid the incoming shots. 5.0.5. was still cowering beneath the table.

"Say uncle!" Dementia cried gleefully. "Say uncle!"

"Over my dead body!" Flug shouted, aiming his gun at the arm around his neck.

She shrugged. "That'll work!"

As Dementia tightened her grip on the scientist, Lita peered anxiously from behind her boss, who wore a disapproving look.

"Honestly," he said, rolling his eye as he reached into his coat. "This is just unprofessional."

He took out a small, cylindrical brass whistle. Its hole looked like an open fanged mouth. Just as Flug was about to blast Dementia's arm off, Black Hat raised the whistle to his lips and blew. Lita cocked her head in confusion when no sound came out.

Flug, Dementia and the Hatbots stopped what they were doing and snapped their gazes towards their boss. The Hatbots dropped the henchmen and saluted while Flug, Dementia and 5.0.5. leaped in front of Black Hat, their eyes derped in different directions as they panted and stuck their hands out like obedient puppies.

"What the…?" Lita said. "What kind of a whistle is that?"

Black Hat glanced back at her, looking utterly baffled. Meanwhile, Flug snapped out of his trance.

"Huh?" He squeaked. "Boss! When did you get here?"

Keeping his gaze on Lita, Black Hat blew the whistle again, reverting Flug back to his dog-like state. Lita merely stared at the whistle, unaffected. Stunned, Black Hat peered through the whistle.

"Is this thing defective?"

He glanced down at the puppy-panting trio. The whistle was clearly working. It was Lita who was the problem. He looked back at her.

"This is…new."

"What?" Lita asked.

Finally, the hypnotized trio came back to their senses and leaped to their feet, saluting once they saw their boss.

"B-B-Boss!" Flug exclaimed, shaking. "W-We were just, uh…"

As if only just remembering why he'd come here, Black Hat shook his head. "Yes, right." Clearing his throat, he put the whistle back into his coat.

"Now, you useless weasels," Black Hat said, folding his hands behind his back, "what did I say about brawling in the laboratory?"

Flug and Dementia glanced at each other before saying in squeaky voices, "To not to?"

"So," their boss said, narrowing his eye, "what was it  _this_  time?"

"She/He started it!" Flug and Dementia said at the same time, pointing to each other.

"What do you mean  _I_  started it?!" Flug demanded.

"You were the one who whipped out the lasers!" Dementia said, forming her fingers into a pretend gun.

" _You_ were the one who started breaking my machines…"

"And you were like, pew, pew, pew, pew!"

"…and knocked over my beakers…"

"You hit the wall you hit the bots…"

"…and tipped over the sulfuric acid and burned a hole in the floor…"

"…and you're a real terrible shot, Fluggie!"

"…not to mention the anti-gravity ray I was working on…"

"You should do target practice on your head! Pew, pew, pew!"

They bickered to a point where they were talking over each other and no one could make out their words. 5.0.5. covered his ears, looking like an upset child who didn't like listening to his parents fight.

"ENOUGH!" Black Hat shouted, wrapping his tentacles around Flug and Dementia, ensuring that their mouths were covered. "I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT! I'M FINISHING IT!"

Glancing at the quivering Hatbots, Black Hat pointed to the doors. "LEAVE US!"

The bots didn't hesitate to roll out of the lab. Black Hat looked around at the damage done. Machines were in pieces, destroyed Hatbots sat in a pile, holes decorated the walls and floors, and shattered glass was scattered everywhere.

"Must you leave a mess  _every time_  you two squabble?!" he demanded, tightening his hold on them.

Flug yowled in pain while Dementia let out an excited squeal. Black Hat felt ready to squeeze the life out of both of them.

Then he felt something on his shoulder. Snapping around, he realized it was Lita's hand. His eye met her blue ones, which were wide and pleading. Black Hat's expression softened as the words she'd said earlier came back to him.

No. He was not touched by her words of friendship. It was what she'd said about making enemies with your colleagues, giving them a reason to want to hurt you. The only reason Flug and Dementia had gotten into this fight was because they were only going by his rule: to avoid affection at all costs.

It was a startling realization, but Lita was right. If his colleagues couldn't get along, even if just on a professional level, it would mean more destruction to his property. Could he punish them for just being hateful villains like he wanted? No.

But he  _could_  punish them for destroying the lab.

"This feud of yours," Black Hat said, turning back to his ensnared minions, "has gone on long enough. And has cost me too much time and money! So perhaps," he said, grinning, "you two should be spending more… _quality_  time together."

He released his hold on them. Flug gasped for air while Dementia pouted in disappointment.

"And you can start," Black Hat said, summoning a mop and bucket out of thin air, "by CLEANING UP THIS MESS!"

He tossed the cleaning supplies at them. Flug fumbled with the mop while the bucket landed on Dementia's head, drenching her in soapy water.

"Aw, but honeybun!" Dementia said, her voice echoing within the bucket. "Cleaning's  _boring_!" She lifted the rim. "And takes  _ages_!"

"Well then," he said, pushing the bucket back down over her face. "I suggest you get started."

Lita sighed, relieved that Black Hat hadn't physically punished Flug. And also…surprised that he seemed to have taken her advice. Had she…misjudged him?

"And Miss Gris," Black Hat said, turning back to her, "since this was  _your_  idea in the first place…"

"What?" Flug said, dropping the mop.

Lita opened her mouth to explain when another bucket and scrub brush was thrust into her hands.

"You can join your," Black Hat said with a chuckle, " _friends_  in their  _togetherness_."

Lita scowled at him.  _Nope. Still an ass._

"Now," their boss said, addressing all of them, "I expect everything to be in order before our shooting this afternoon! Or else," he said, using his telekinesis to pick up Flug's laser gun, "IT WON'T BE A  _COMMERCIAL_  WE'RE SHOOTING!"

"Y-Yes, sir!" Flug squealed, picking up his mop.

5.0.5. saluted, shaking like a rattle.

"Will do, handsome!" Dementia said, peering out from beneath her bucket to send Black Hat a loving gaze.

Lita simply nodded, not sure if she should be scared from Black Hat's threat or…impressed. She had to admit, it was clever wordplay.

With a final growl, Black Hat spun around and left the lab. When the airlocked doors shut behind him, Lita turned to the others. Flug was looking at her in confusion while Dementia was sending one of her usual death glares.

"W-What was he talking about?" Flug asked.

"Nothing," Lita said quickly. "I-I was just a-asking him not to hurt you for fighting in the lab and—"

"Snitch," Dementia said with a huff.

"I didn't snitch! He squeezed it out of—"

"You know what?" Flug said, holding up a hand. "Forget it. Let's just start cleaning before the boss gets back."

5.0.5. left and came back with more cleaning supplies, including a pair of blue rubber gloves for Lita. Dementia had resisted cleaning at first, but then was reminded by Lita that making the room shine would make her beloved very, very happy.

For the first twenty minutes, they worked in silence. Flug was covering up the holes in the walls with wooden planks, Dementia was picking up and or munching on the remains of Flug's inventions, 5.0.5. was sweeping up the glass, while Lita was mopping up the chemical spills. Flug had given her a spare lab coat and goggles, just in case the chemicals should get on her. As she mopped, Lita glanced at her colleagues and could see they were not having fun.

It'd been a while since Lita had been in a group cleaning. At her various old jobs, she and her coworkers would usually fill the void with idle chat, but Dementia and Flug didn't seem to be in the mood for that. Dementia had already hated her, but based on the disapproving looks Flug was sending her, Lita figured he was probably upset that she'd ratted them out.

This reminded her of bathroom duty back in juvie. The other girls there hadn't been very chatty either. Just hours of tense silence, with only the sounds of scrubbing and scraping.

It was like they were in that scene from  _Annie_ , when the girls were cleaning the orphanage, complaining about their life and their boss. Without even realizing it, Lita had begun humming the song to herself as she pushed the wet mop to and fro.

She stopped when she realized Flug was staring at her, his eyebrow raised. Biting her lip, Lita returned silently to her mopping.

Then came more humming. Lita looked over at 5.0.5., who seemed to be continuing the song as he dumped the glass shards into the trash. Smiling, Dementia joined in on the next verse.

" _Da, da, da, dum,_ " she sang, dropping one metal piece into the trash with each note, " _DA, DA, DUM!_ " She twirled around to pick up more pieces. " _Da, da, da, dum, DA, DA, DUM!_ "

Everyone turned to Flug, who was lifting a new board over one of the holes.

" _It's the hard-knock life_ ," he sang weakly.

Lita giggled as she plopped the mop into the bucket. It was funny how these villains had seen that movie too, and knew the song.

She just couldn't help but keeping singing as she continued mopping. " _It's the hard-knock life…_ "

"… _for us_ ," Flug and Dementia joined in.

5.0.5. started singing too in his incomprehensible grunts.

" _It's the hard-knock life for us._  
' _Stead of treated  
__We get tricked._ "

Flug started hammering to the beat.

"' _Stead of kisses…_ "

Dementia banged two robot arms together as they sang, " _We get kicked!_ "

Flug massaged his backside at the memory of his boss' foot, groaning with the next line. " _It's the hard-knock life._ "

They all glanced at each other, flashing grins. Well, one could only assume Flug was grinning, but he certainly seemed perkier. Dementia ripped the fingers off the robotic arms and started banging them on the table like drumsticks.

" _Got no folks to speak of, so_  
_It's the hard-knock row we hoe!  
__Cotton blankets…_ "

For two beats, in unison, Flug hammered the nails, Dementia banged her "sticks" together, 5.0.5. tapped his paw on the table and Lita stomped her foot.

"' _Stead of wool!  
__Empty bellies…_ "

They did the same two beats again, laughing together.

"' _Stead of full!  
__It's the hard-knock—_ "

"STOP SINGING AND GET BACK TO WORK!" Black Hat's voice boomed out of nowhere.

Everyone fell silent and returned to their tasks. While Lita's eyes wandered, she ended up catching Dementia's. This time, they didn't hold a death glare. Instead, Dementia sent a thumbs-up.

The two girls snickered at what had just happened. Although no one could see it, Flug was smiling under his bag, trying to suppress a giggle of his own.

* * *

"I'm telling you, Canis!" Black Hat hollered into the spider-legged rotary dial phone in his office, holding the brass whistle in the other hand. "This whistle you sold me is defective!"

On the other end, there was demonic barking.

"I'm  _not_  using it wrong! I blew it! IT'S THE WHISTLE THAT'S NOT WORKING!"

He waited as he listened to the next round of barking.

"Yes, yes, I know! The whistle is meant to summon all inferior minds within a five-mile radius! Well, it worked perfectly on my other subordinates, but  _one_  of them was unaffected!" He held the receiver in front of his mouth. "WHY IS THAT?!"

There was deep growling, as if Canis was getting impatient.

"What do you mean it depends on who blows it?" He paused. "The whistle only works on beings inferior to the one who blows it? But has no effect on superiors or equals? That's ridiculous! If what you're saying is true, that would imply…"

He trailed off, his eye widening in realization.

"THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED!" he shouted before slamming the phone down, nearly crushing its spider-like body.

Black Hat began pacing as he studied the whistle in his hand. If it was meant to control beings inferior to him, it hadn't worked on Lita because…she  _wasn't_  inferior?

"He  _can't_  be right," he murmured, quickening his pace. "She isn't…no one's…" He growled angrily. " _NO ONE'S_  SUPERIOR THAN ME!"

He ended up crushing the whistle in his grip. Not caring, he tossed it over his shoulder.

Could it be? Was it possible for anyone to be superior to him? Black Hat, conqueror of worlds, dealer of souls and king of nightmares?

He shook his head. "No, no, no! That blasted dog demon was just trying to get my goat! Yes, that's it! Tried to make fun of me!"

He made a mental note to pick him up as the next test subject for Dr. Flug's experiments.

Whether Canis had been lying or not, the whistle hadn't worked on Lita. Whatever the reason, it meant Black Hat didn't have control over one of his subordinates. Not just in terms of the whistle.

He'd been ready to punish Flug and Dementia severely, but had stopped. All because Lita had looked at him with her big, baby-blue eyes. Why, why,  _why_  had that look of hers affected him?! Why, why,  _why_  had he given into her little friendship and caring speech?!

No. It hadn't been about friendship. Or baby-blue eyes. It had been about the logic of her words. Even if she had been right, Black Hat should  _not_  have agreed with her!

He stopped in his tracks, stiffening as a terrifying thought occurred to him.

If word got out that he couldn't control one of his minions, other villains would think that he'd lost his touch! He'd lose his credibility, his business, his money! With his evil empire gone, he'd become what he'd feared he'd become for centuries! A has-been, a relic, a forgotten figure.

Lita's voice echoed in his head.  _What are_ you _afraid of?_

Crying in frustration, Black Hat placed his hands on either side of his head. "WHAT IS  _WRONG_  WITH ME?!"

It was that woman. She was messing with his mind! But he wouldn't let her. He'd gain control over her, before she could gain control over him!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came across an AMV of "Villainous" with the song from Annie and then was reminded of the scene from "The Big Bang Theory" and...well, it snuck its way as a little co-worker bonding moment.
> 
> The whistle thing was in the orientation Q&A video. I just made up the idea that Black Hat got it from a dog demon ("Canis" means "dog" in Latin).


	13. Superior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a heated match takes place. Emphasis on "heated."

When Black Hat passed by the gym, Lita was at the punching bag. He stopped to watch her swift punches and kicks. She wore a white tank top and gray sweatpants, appropriate attire for a workout. The injuries she'd received from Dementia were exposed for all to see.

But that wasn't  _all_  that was exposed. Lita had been so habitual in wearing hoodies and turtlenecks, Black Hat had never really gotten a good look at her body before. Though she was shorter than anyone in the house, she wasn't exactly petite. She had a reasonable amount of flesh, enough to make her not resemble a skeleton. Her chest was small, but strong. What particularly caught Black Hat's gaze were her arms. Along with the bruises, Lita had been hiding her healthily toned muscles.

She really  _had_  been keeping herself in shape.

The woman had been plaguing Black Hat's mind since his whistle discovery. There was no way this mere human could be his superior! She was talented, but not  _that_  talented! Not to mention she was mortal with no supernatural powers like him!

And yet…she was difficult for him to control. She didn't fear him like the others, and the whistle had no effect on her, not to mention she was annoyingly outspoken! She needed to be reminded who the boss was around here, but past threats had already failed to intimidate her.

Oh no. He'd spent all night thinking about it. He'd decided the best way to go about this was with a more… _delicate_  approach. He knew it was the right method as he watched her box.

The girl had the potential for villainy, but she badly needed a mentor. If he couldn't control her through fear, perhaps he could control her through  _trust_. If he built enough trust within her, she would look to him for guidance in everything, and trust that everything he said was right. All the while, she would have the delusion that she would be in control by coming to him by choice, when in reality, he would be the one pulling her strings.

Lita hadn't noticed her boss was watching as she fiercely punched the bag, pretending it was Paolo, then Dementia, then Black Hat. If anything, she was glad she had some way of unleashing her anger without getting herself killed.

With a mighty cry and roundhouse kick, she sent the hanging bag flying back. Black Hat caught it in one hand, smirking at her.

"Now, what did this bag ever do to you?" he asked teasingly.

Surprised by his sudden appearance, Lita dropped her foot. Black Hat glanced around.

"Where's Dementia?"

Lita shrugged. "Wasn't here when I got here." She held up her gloved hands. "I thought it'd be alright if I just started practicing on my own."

Black Hat rolled his eye. "Typical mutant. Always shirking her responsibilities."

He released the bag. Lita jumped sideways to avoid its impact. Grinning toothily, Black Hat decided this was the perfect opportunity to start his plan.

"Since Dementia has failed to make an appearance," he said, letting his trench coat drop to the floor. "What say you and I go a few rounds together?"

Lita looked at him in time to see him unbuttoning his vest. Catching her shocked expression, Black Hat smirked.

"I'm talking about sparring, of course," he said as he removed his vest.

"R-Right," Lita said, her face flushing. "C-Course."

Deciding to have some fun, Black Hat locked gaze with her as he walked past, undoing his tie. "I must warn you though. I can be rather…rough."

"Can't be any worse than Deme—the  _hell_?!"

As soon as she turned around, she found Black Hat in the middle of the mat, removing his red shirt, his back now exposed to her. She was so startled by this sight that she stumbled back into the punching bag.

His gray back was decorated in…scars? Tattoos? Symbols she couldn't describe. They reminded her of the occult, but she had no idea what they represented. Tossing his shirt aside, Black Hat faced her, revealing his bare chest.

Needless to say, his outfit didn't do his muscles justice.

"Um, uh," Lita said, her face red as she forced her gaze away. "Is that  _really_  necessary?"

"You don't expect me to fight in my suit, do you?" Black Hat said, enjoying her reaction. "That thing's terribly expensive."

When she turned her gaze back, she was met with his dark, chiseled chest. Her throat went dry as she raised her eyes towards his.

"Like what you see?" he asked, his teeth showing.

Snapping out of her trance, Lita sidestepped away from Black Hat. "Nope!"

He frowned as she threw off her boxing gloves.

"Nope, nope, nope, nope,  _nope_! Don't think I don't know what you're doing!"

"Oh?" Black Hat said, crossing his arms. "What  _am_  I doing, Miss Gris?"

She whipped around, making sure to look in his eye and not at his chest. "You're doing that whole mock innuendo thing to get me all flustered and confused just so you can throw me off!" She crossed her own arms. "I'm not stupid, you know? I'm not Dementia! I know you're not serious! I mean…why  _would_  you be with the whole Rule 10V3 thing?"

Admiring her cleverness, Black Hat grinned. "If you don't think I'm serious," he said, taking a step towards her, "then  _this_ ," he gestured to his body, "shouldn't be a problem."

"You're right," she said, dropping her arms to her sides. "It shouldn't." She stepped towards him. "But even if you  _weren't_  half naked, why would I be stupid enough to fight  _you_?"

"What if I were to give you the day off?" he asked, crossing his arms again.

Intrigued, Lita mirrored him. "Go on."

He leaned forward. "If you win a round against me, I'll allow you to spend the rest of the day with your father."

"And," she said, leaning towards him, "if  _you_  win?"

"You spar with me once a week."

She blinked. "That's it?"

"Come now, Miss Gris. I'm being  _more_  than generous."

"Please.  _Me_ beat  _you_?"She straightened up. "I wasn't born this morning."

"You wouldn't have to necessarily  _beat_  me," he said, also straightening up. "All you have to do is hold me down for ten seconds. No more, no less. Consequently, should I manage to hold  _you_  down for just as long, the match goes to me."

She cocked her head. "Still not buying…"

He moved his head to match hers. "Really, Miss Gris. Most people would  _leap_  at the chance to throw a punch at their employer without consequence."

Lita had to admit she'd been itching to punch this guy for a  _long_  time.

"Okay," she said, lifting her head up. "But no tentacles or magic or anything…weird like that. Only fists and feet."

"Then how will you be prepared when facing another supernatural opponent like me?"

" _Is_  there anyone as powerful as you?"

He threw his head back in a laugh. "Touché, my dear. Still, you can't rely on your opponent being on your level of strength, if not weaker."

"Well," she said with a shrug, "you don't want me getting strong enough to overpower  _you_. Right?"

Oh hell, did he ever like this girl.

"Alright then, Miss Gris. I'll concede to your terms," Black Hat said, extending his hand. "Do we have a deal then?"

Determined to see her father again, or at the very least get a punch in with this guy, Lita shook his hand with an admirably firm grip. "Deal. Let's fight."

She went to fetch her gloves.

"You won't be needing those," Black Hat said, making his way to the mat.

Lita tensed. "Dementia said the same thing."

"She's right. For once," he said, facing her once he was on the far end of the mat. "After all, you won't have them out in the field. And boxing without gloves will make your knuckles more durable."

"Fine," Lita said, stepping up the mat. "Be more fun to hit ya with my bare hands anyway."

Black Hat chuckled in amusement as she readied her fists. "Whenever you're ready, Miss Gris."

She waited for him to raise his fists, but instead he placed his hands behind his back. His relaxed demeanor confused her. He didn't seem particularly worried.

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea._

"I'm waiting," he said tauntingly.

_Oh, screw it. He's annoying me._

Lita charged for him, bringing back her fist for a right hook. Smirking, Black Hat grabbed her fist before it could strike him, then pulled it down, bringing her to his chest.

"Telegraphing?" Black Hat tsked. "Rookie mistake, Miss Gris."

Scowling, she wedged her heel into his foot. He didn't even blink. With a frustrated grunt, Lita lifted her other fist. Black Hat snatched her by the wrist.

"Oh, now, now, Miss Gris. You're just making this too easy for me." He leaned towards her. "Perhaps you're not as strong as I thought you were."

That snapped something within her.

Jumping up, Lita pushed her feet against his chest, giving her the force to wrench her hands free as she flipped backward. As soon as she was back on her feet, she swiftly jabbed at him four times, shuffling forward. Black Hat dodged these punches by moving his head from side to side, but did not see the swift kick coming to his stomach. He did not cry out as he was pushed backward.

"Aha," he said, finally raising his fists. " _There_  you are."

He threw a punch at her, but she ducked. The second she came back up, she jabbed at him with her right. He dodged, then saw her other hand moving into an uppercut. He moved his head to his left, when he was met with her right fist. It didn't hurt, but the sudden impact had surprised him.

He backed away, massaging his jaw. He then realized she had pulled a fake-out with the uppercut.

"Not bad," he said, swinging two consecutive hooks.

She jumped backward to avoid his fast kick. "Not so bad yourself."

Lita had to admit. He was good. Even if without his demonic powers, she believed Black Hat could take out a hero no problem. His technique was unlike Dementia's—hers was to throw in as many punches and kicks as possible. Lita could tell in the way his one eye watched her calculatedly. Which…didn't explain why he hadn't won already. With every attack he dodged, she caught his smug smile. What exactly was his game here?

Meanwhile, Black Hat was enjoying himself immensely. In all honesty, magic or not, he could end the fight within seconds, but where would be the fun in that? Besides, he wanted to see what Lita was made of.

And oh, was she ever fierce. With each attack, she didn't pause or hesitate. Even her acrobatic dodges were a sight to behold. Her style wasn't exclusive to one type of art, using elements of boxing, judo and karate. He wondered if her telegraphing at the beginning had been a ploy to get him to underestimate her. Needless to say, he was interested to learn more.

"You say your mother taught you to fight?" Black Hat asked as they continued to exchange punches and kicks.

"Surprised you remember," Lita said, ducking into a somersault to get around him.

He watched wide-eyed as she sprang to her feet and spun around to face him. "What exactly did she do for a living?"

"Music," she said in between kicks, "teacher."

He sent her a puzzled look as he stepped to the side. "How did a music teacher come upon knowledge of the martial arts?"

He grabbed her arm upon her next punch, pulling her into a headlock.

"Well, ya know," she said, throwing her hands around his waist. "In this town," with a grunt, she lifted him up, "girl's gotta," as she put him down, she squatted out of his hold, "defend herself."

As she backed away, she attempted to kick his spine, when he spun around and snatched her ankle. He pulled her to the ground, but she rolled away before he could get on top of her.

"Certainly helped when Papi," she said, panting as she sprang up, "broke into her home."

Black Hat raised an eyebrow as he dodged her next attack. "And he ended up marrying her anyway?"

Lita smiled a little as she jumped to avoid his low, sweeping kick. "He liked strong women."

He huffed. "Excuse me if I fail to see how affection can develop during a fight. Ooh." He grinned as she managed to strike his shoulder. "Good shot."

"Thanks," she said, spinning out of the way as he swiped at her. "As my mom used to say, you can tell a lot about a person in the way they fight."

"Oh?"

He caught her arm as she attempted to strike him from above. He used it to spin her around and wrap his arms around her so that her back was pressed against his front.

"And what can you tell about me?" he whispered in her ear.

Lita frowned at their position, but decided not to let it bother her. After all, this seemed like a perfect opportunity to mess with him, as payback for all the times  _he'd_  messed with  _her_.

Smirking, she said to Black Hat, "That you're holding back."

"Am I, now?" he said, tightening his grip on her.

"I've seen what you can do," she said, turning her head slightly to meet his gaze. "You could've ended this at any time."

He tried not to let his surprise show. Instead, he conveyed his awe at her having figured this out.

"You forget I agreed to your terms," he said, grinning further. "No magic, remember?"

"But that's not all you can do, is it?"

They stared at each other for a few seconds, each one trying to dissect the other.

"You know what I think?" Lita said smugly. "I think…you don't wanna hurt me."

"Oh, you think that, do you?" Black Hat said with a chuckle. "Perhaps you're right. I  _should_  up my game."

Her smile dropped at the dangerous look in his eye. Deciding she'd stalled long enough, Lita lunged her rear backward, moving Black Hat back and giving her room to sweep her arms through his, breaking them apart. Stepping forward, she spun around and grabbed his lowered head. She was about to knee him in the face when Black Hat's arms shot out, grabbing her thighs.

In a move that shouldn't have been possible, he flung her over his head. Lita tucked her head in an attempt to roll, but ended up landing on her shoulders. She yowled in pain as her body fell into a flat heap.

"This…was a mistake," she said with a groan.

"At least you've acknowledged it," Black Hat said, coming around her. "That's a mark of high intelligence."

When she saw him crawling on top of her, Lita lifted her fists to avoid him getting high mount. Cackling, Black Hat snatched her wrists and pushed them down on either side of her head.

"You fight well," he said, leaning towards her. "But you still have much to learn, Miss Gris."

The seconds ticked off in Lita's head. He was going to win. If she wanted to see her father, she had to think of something and  _fast_. She knew the right move, but Black Hat's grip was strong. It only further confirmed her theory that he'd been holding back before. If she could just distract him…

Then it hit her. She would take a page from his playbook.

"Really, boss," she crooned, batting her eyelashes. "Did you start this fight as an excuse to get on top of me?"

His smile dropped as he processed the suddenly sultry tone of her voice…and the insinuation behind her words.

"What?" he grunted, his grip on her wrists loosening.

Taking advantage of his confusion, Lita thrust her hips upward, pulling her wrists inward and out of his hold as he fell forward. With his hands now on either side of her head, she clasped her hands around his right arm and pulled it towards her stomach. Before he could react, she hooked her left foot around his right, giving her the leverage to roll him over so that she was now on top. She quickly sat atop his chest so he couldn't try the same move on her.

"Wasn't there something in your rules about never underestimating your opponent?" Lita said cheerfully.

Black Hat stared up at her open-mouthed. She…she had actually  _played_  him!  _Him_! Thrown him off-guard with mock-flirting…just like he'd been doing with her all week.

Was it possible…that she  _was_  his superior?

"What the hell?!"

Both heads turned at the sound of Dementia's voice. She stood in the gym's doorway, staring with her mouth agape at the sight of her rival on top of her beloved…who was shirtless.

"You…you little skank!" she shouted, scowling as she clutched her hands into fists.

"What?" Lita said, then gasped. "Oh no, wait! Dementia, it's not what you—"

While she was distracted, Black Hat twisted his leg joints around so that his heels were pointing upward. Grinning, he caught Lita's waist by his feet and hoisted her off. Crying out, she landed on her back. She quickly scrambled to get up.

"Oh, no, you don't," Black Hat said, sitting on her chest, holding her head down with one hand while clutching her wrists together in the other. "Not  _this_  time."

"Love muffin!" Dementia whined, running up to him. "What's going on?! What are you—?"

Without taking his eyes off Lita, Black Hat momentarily released her head to push Dementia away. Lita tried moving her head, but his hand was back in an instant.

"Five…four…" Black Hat counted off the seconds, grinning in triumph. "Three…two…"

Lita struggled against him, but it was no use. He'd left no room, no weak spots for an escape. He'd beaten her.

He was truly the master.

"And that's game," Black Hat said, releasing her as he stood. "Next time, don't assume victory prematurely."

Lita sat up, rubbing her sore wrists. She hoped this match hadn't left any new bruises when the old ones were almost completely healed. Black Hat held out a hand, but she chose to hoist herself up.

"Smart move," Black Hat said, using his magic to pick up his garments. "I will say though, Miss Gris. You nearly gave me a run for my money there." He smirked at her as he swung his trench coat over his shoulder. "I'll see you next week."

Lita watched as he sauntered out of the gym, chuckling to himself. Whatever had been wrong with the dog whistle, it was clear that Lita was in no way Black Hat's superior. In that, he could be sure of.

"That sneaky bastard," Lita murmured as soon as he was out the door.

With fire in her eyes, Dementia sprang up from the floor. "And just  _what_  was  _that_  all about?!"

"Before you pummel me," Lita said, holding up her hands in surrender, "you should know that Mr. Black Hat and I were only sparring."

"Yeah, right! And  _why_ ," the lizard-girl shouted, yanking at the front of her hoodie, "was his  _shirt_   _off_?!"

Lita shrugged. "You watch wrestling, right? Those guys practically wear nothing at all."

"He  _never_  takes his shirt off! He never took it off for  _me_  whenever  _we_  sparred!"

Lita blinked. "Really?"

"So  _why_ ," Dementia said, advancing towards her, "would he take it off for  _you_?!"

She pressed herself up against Lita, exerting her power as she glared down at the smaller woman.

"Look," Lita said, gently pushing her away. "Black Hat and I made a wager. If I could beat him, he would let me visit my father." She sighed. "Obviously, he was playing me, making me think I stood a snowball's chance just so he could humiliate me."

Dementia calmed down a little. "That…seems like something Blackie would do." She looked the other girl over. "Man. He really did a number on ya, didn't he?"

"What, these?" Lita said, holding up her bruised arms. "These were all  _you_."

"Oh, yeah." Dementia snorted. "You look like crap!"

Deciding it was high time the subject was changed, Lita asked, "Where were you all this time?"

"Chasing some racoon invading my favorite garbage can." The lizard-girl cocked her head. "So…what did Black Hat get from winning the fight?"

"Oh," Lita said, waving her hand dismissively. "Just that he and I spar every week."

Dementia stiffened. "So…you and he…gonna fight… _weekly_?" Her eyes narrowed as her teeth seethed. "While he's  _shirtless_?!"

Lita glanced at her wrist, pretending there was a watch there. "Oh, would you look at the time! Sorry, gotta go make lunch!"

She raced out before Dementia could figure out that it  _wasn't_  Lita's turn for lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by two "fights": Marianne vs. the Bog King in "Strange Magic," and Green Arrow vs. Black Canary in "Justice League: Unlimited."


	14. Equal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Black Hat tests Lita's intelligence.
> 
> Theme song for this chapter: "Bad to the Bone."

The next morning, Lita was surprised to find that she wasn't scheduled to workout in the gym. Instead, after breakfast, she was to report to the library for "training." While it was strange, Lita couldn't complain. Her muscles needed rest from all the extra exercise.

She'd only been to the library twice in the past few weeks. The first time was during the orientation tour, and the second was to dust the shelves. Lita wasn't much of a reader. Who had time for books when you were too busy keeping yourself from going broke? But the massiveness of the library had filled her with awe anyway. There were shelves upon shelves of books, going on for miles! Lita had asked Black Hat if he had read them all.

"What a ridiculous question," had been his response.

She'd figured that meant he had.

Of course, the library's size made it difficult for Lita to find her boss at first. After ten minutes of wandering, Black Hat's voice came out of nowhere.

"Oh, honestly! I haven't the time for this!"

Suddenly, as if by an invisible force, Lita was dragged rapidly through the library, the shelves whooshing past her. She was stopped just as abruptly and had to hold her arms out to the sides to keep herself from falling.

In front of her was Black Hat, sitting at a mahogany chess table.

"You're late," he said bluntly.

"Sorry," Lita said, straightening up. "But this place is like a maze! Wouldn't hurt to put up a few signs."

Black Hat sighed. He'd so been hoping she'd find her way through the maze on her own, but he'd gotten impatient. What a disappointment.

"Do you play chess, Miss Gris?"

Glancing at the chess set, and the open chair across from the demon, Lita took a moment to answer. "I…know a little. I mean I've seen it on TV."

"I shall teach you then," Black Hat said, gesturing to the open seat on the white side.

She looked at him unsurely as she sat down. "May I ask why?"

"There's more to being a villain than brute strength. A villain must have a certain level of intelligence in order to strategize and execute their plans flawlessly."

That was one of the reasons for this lesson. In truth, Black Hat wanted to get an idea of Lita's intellect. Perhaps she was his inferior physically, but really, who could ever beat him in a fight? One could be superior in one area and inferior in another.

From the conversations he'd shared with Lita, and her perfect score on her comprehension test, Black Hat had already been aware of the woman's intelligence. Although she was a high school dropout, she had a sharp wit and common sense that could not be learned from books. Honestly, he wished his other subordinates had this trait. But just  _how_  intelligent was she? Surely not enough to rival  _him_!

Only one way to find out.

"This is the horsey, right?" Lita said, picking up a piece.

Black Hat rolled his eye. "It's called the  _knight_."

One by one, he explained each piece. Of course, he could've made up the rules, since she was a novice, but he couldn't properly observe her intelligence if he didn't give her the proper set of rules.

"Now the queen," he said, picking up his black piece, "can move any number of spaces horizontally, vertically, and diagonally."

Lita nodded. "So how many spaces does the king move?"

"Only one," Black Hat said, moving his king. "Same directions."

"So…the king stays comfortably in the back while the queen does all the work?"

Black Hat frowned. "He  _has_  to stay in the back. If the king is taken, the game ends."

"So he's a coward then." She folded her arms. "Making everyone else do the work so he doesn't have to get his hands dirty."

"Such is war," Black Hat said, gripping the king. "Not too different from the business world."

She looked up at him. "Does that make you the king or the queen?"

He scowled at her implication. "I didn't invent the rules."

"For all I know, you did."

Black Hat snorted. "Let's just play. White goes first."

"Because good triumphs over evil?"

He knew she was just teasing, but it was still annoying. "Because the least experienced player goes first. And I'm," he gestured proudly to his pieces, " _always_  black."

"Fine," Lita said, moving one of her pawns forward one space.

Smirking, Black Hat moved one of his pawns two spaces.

"Hey! You said pawns could only go one space!"

"Except on the first move," he said.

She huffed. "You didn't tell me that on purpose!"

"But of course. The best way to learn is by doing, after all."

Rolling her eyes, Lita moved another pawn forward, this time two spaces. Unfortunately, it was in the space diagonal to Black Hat's. Yawning, he slid his pawn into hers, picked hers up and set it to the side.

The game went on slowly, as Lita took her time with each move. She grunted as Black Hat continued to take her pieces. As he was about to take one of her bishops, she realized something.

"Why don't you make the pieces move themselves?" she asked. "You know, like in those  _Harry Potter_ movies? I mean you have the magic, right?"

"I  _could_  do that," Black Hat said with a shrug. "But then I wouldn't have the pleasure of doing this."

Picking up his knight, he slammed it down onto Lita's bishop, crushing it into tiny white rubble.

"Fair point," she said with a nod.

A few moves later, Black Hat had one pawn one space away from Lita's end of the board.

"Here's an interesting thing about pawns," he said, moving the pawn forward. "They may hold little power in this game, but if it gets far enough," he waved his hand over the piece, "it becomes a queen."

The pawn then magically transformed into a queen.

"Promotion," Lita said.

He smiled. "You could say that."

"Hope you didn't make that rule up, because I'm going to remember that one."

Unfortunately, she never got the chance to try it, for Black Hat had checkmate three moves later.

"Don't feel too bad, Miss Gris," he said, crossing his arms triumphantly. "I've been playing this game since the Persians invented their version and have yet to be beaten."

Lita grumbled in defeat. "Let's play again. And this time," she crossed her arms to match his, "let's raise the stakes."

He leaned forward in interest. "Go on."

"If I win," she said, leaning forward as well, "you give me the rest of the day off."

"Very well." He grinned widely. "But if  _I_  win, which I will, you spend the rest of the day with  _me_."

She squinted in suspicion. "Doing…what, exactly?"

"Whatever I please."

She didn't like the sound of that, but she was too busy thinking about her father to be concerned with whatever Black Hat had in mind.

"Deal."

Reaching across the table, they shook hands. The pieces then magically moved back into their starting positions.

This game went a lot quicker as Lita spent less time considering each move. Black Hat figured it was because she had a better idea of the rules now. Since she didn't ask any more questions about the game, he decided to fill the silence with idle talk.

"Have you considered your villain name yet?" he asked.

She kept her eyes on the board as she made her next move. "Just Lita'd be fine."

"Now, now, Miss Gris," he said with a chuckle. "You can't expect to strike fear in the hearts of your enemies with a name such as  _that_. Even your actual first name has more potential. Adelita," he said thoughtfully. "That name is from a song, isn't it? About a female soldier?"

"Yup," Lita said, her voice becoming quieter. "From the Mexican Revolution. My mom picked it."

He shook his head. "Too heroic a name."

While Lita still wasn't too keen on the idea of becoming a villain, given her situation, it was best to humor him.

"Why not name me after a psychological condition like Dementia?" she suggested. "Maybe…Kleptomania? You know, stealing?"

He waved his hand. "Too long."

"Just Klepto then?"

He thought about it. "We'll leave that on the table."

"My papi never had an alias," Lita said, hoping this would get him off the subject. "He said any thief who calls attention to themselves is not very good at their job."

"That's the difference between a common thief and a supervillain." Black Hat smiled proudly. "Supervillains  _want_  their work recognized, so by the time they conquer the world, everyone already knows to fear them."

"What made you quit then?"

Surprised by her question, he accidentally knocked over his rook in the middle of castling. "What?"

"You took over the world, right?" Lita said, raising her gaze towards him. "I mean you're always bragging about it. But you don't rule the world now." She reached over to pick up his rook for him. "Now I know there's no one powerful enough to defeat you, so I can only guess you quit. So…why?"

He stared at her a long while. No one had ever asked him that question before. He imagined it had been on others' minds, especially his subordinates', but no one had dared ask it out loud.

Finally, he finished his move, castling his king. "It got boring."

Lita snorted as she made her move. "Boring? Seriously?"

"Oh, don't get me wrong," Black Hat said, wrapping his fingers around a bishop. "It was amusing for a while, having the world at my fingertips." He groaned. "But when the rebels started realizing defeating me was a lost cause, they stopped resisting. With no one to stop me, it became all too easy."

"Wow." Lita tilted her head to the side. "World conquest's seriously overrated."

He chuckled. "That's not to say I've given up on it. I've found conquering the business world to be a more stimulating challenge than conquering the physical world. Keeps me busy."

"Maybe boredom wasn't your problem."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "And what do you mean by that?"

"Maybe your problem was you just hadn't found the right opponent to make things interesting." Glancing back at the board, she moved a pawn forward. "Speaking of which. Check."

Stunned, Black Hat looked down at the board. Her pawn had made it fully across, making it a queen. It was on a direct horizontal path towards the king. Black Hat had castled it so it was protected by the rook, but if he took the queen, Lita's rook would take his and would then be free to take the king.

Moving the king would prove fruitless as well. If he moved it forward, the rook would be taken. Even if he took the queen afterwards with his king, there was a bishop positioned in the event of that happening. He couldn't move diagonally to the right, as there was a pawn waiting there too.

After several minutes of moving his one eye across the board, Black Hat looked up at Lita, raised his hand slowly, and knocked over his king.

It was impossible! No one had beaten him at chess in centuries! Not since he'd started learning the European rules! He was about to brush it off as beginner's luck when Lita smirked triumphantly.

"Oh," she said, leaning back in her seat. "Didn't I mention my papi and I used to play this all the time?"

His mouth dropped open in astonishment. "You…you were… _bluffing_?!"

She nodded. "Never underestimate your opponent."

Black Hat understood now. She'd pretended to be a novice and had let him win the first game. By the second game, he'd been so confident he'd win he hadn't paid close enough attention to her moves. She'd expected that, of course.

To think that he, Black Hat, the greatest villain of all time…had just been swindled by a common thief. Honestly, he didn't know whether to incinerate her or…congratulate her.

"Now if you'll excuse me," Lita said, getting up from her seat, "I have some errands to run in town."

Excited at the thought of seeing her father, she strolled past him.

"One moment, Miss Gris."

She stopped and turned to him.

"I said you could have the day off." Black Hat turned so that his eye and the upturned corner of his mouth were visible. "I didn't say anything about leaving the mansion."

Lita's jaw dropped. "B-B-But…I-I…"

"When making a deal, Miss Gris, it helps to be specific. To avoid loopholes." Turning back to the board, he waved his hand dismissively. "Enjoy your afternoon off."

Scowling, she raised her fist, but stopped. Punching him would only lead to trouble. Besides, he was right. As much as she hated to admit it. She may have won the game, but he'd been the one to outsmart her in the end.

Sighing in defeat, Lita stomped through the library. At least she had a break from training with Dementia.

On the way to the exit, she passed by a shelf labeled "Self-Defense." Pausing, she skimmed the titles. The books in this section covered all sorts of fighting techniques: karate, taekwondo, jujitsu, even fencing. She glanced back down the aisle, in the direction of Black Hat.

Lita had no interest in becoming a villain, but Black Hat was right about one thing. She had a lot to learn. Black Hat was the master in everything. If she was ever going to see her father again, she had to become stronger in every way possible. Of course, she knew she could never overpower Black Hat physically, but she could outwit him.

So, without a second glance, she scooped as many books off the shelf as she could carry.

Meanwhile, back at the chess table, Black Hat was holding a pawn in his hand. It was the white one that had been used to defeat him.

He'd figured it out. Why the dog whistle hadn't worked on Lita. It wasn't that she was his superior.  _No one_  could  _ever_  be his superior. Physically, she was his inferior, but intellectually…she was his equal.

Yes. That was it. She'd outwitted him in chess, a feat that for centuries had been impossible to accomplish. Not only that, but she didn't treat him like one would their superior. Ever since their first meeting, she'd stood up to him, spoken to him casually, acted as if they were on equal footing. And in a way, they were.

Black Hat had never had an equal before. And oddly enough…he  _liked_  it.

That girl was going to go far in this organization. But even if she was his equal, he was still the one moving the pieces. He'd be the one guiding her on her path to greatness.

Grinning, he used his magic to transform the pawn between his fingers into a queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided not to bore you too much with the chess details, only where relevant.
> 
> You can expect updates to be much slower, now that I have a ton of projects that I have to balance with work and the community production I'm in.


	15. The Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita gets cabin fever, and Flug runs into an old friend.

It had been a month since Lita had taken Black Hat's deal. As she'd been forbidden from leaving the mansion, she'd naturally developed a case of cabin fever. Even when she'd been granted that one afternoon off, she found there was nothing much for her to do except read the self-defense books she'd snagged from the library. While they were informative, she found herself glancing at the wall, wishing there was a window she could look out of.

Since the chess match, Black Hat had gotten back into the habit of popping out of nowhere again. Only this time, instead of scaring her, he'd ask her a riddle or give her some absurd task like taking her to a room full of diamonds and figure out which ones were real and which were fake. Sometimes she had the answer, sometimes she didn't. And while Black Hat never got angry when she didn't, he did appear disappointed. She asked him why he was throwing out these random brain puzzles, and he said it was part of her training.

He'd also recently opened up the locked door in the gym. Turns out it was a simulation chamber, in which Lita had to fight off holographic enemies and run through simulated security systems. They certainly got the adrenaline up, but Lita was getting tired of simulations.

It wasn't until Flug called her from the grocery store one day that she realized how badly she needed to get out of this place.

" _So, uh…Lita that err…thing you put on the shopping list?_ "

"Yeah?" Lita said, leaning against the kitchen counter.

It was her turn to cook and she'd decided to keep it simple with garden salad. Lesser chance of another explosion.

" _Well…um…which ones am I supposed to get?_ "

"What do ya mean?"

" _I mean…they come in so many colors! And, err…they say something about 'ultra heavy?' And as for the, uh…what size is your, uh…you know._ "

Realizing what he was talking about, Lita's cheeks turned pink. "Just, um…grab a bunch of overnight pads and then a couple smaller ones."

" _Um, okay. W-Which ones are those?_ "

"Flug, have you seriously never gone out and bought pads and tampons before?"

" _Excuse me!_ " he said, sounding appalled. " _Need I remind you that I'm a male?!_ "

"No, no, I mean Dementia. You've never gone shopping for her?"

" _She doesn't menstruate! Side effect of her mutation._ "

"Really?" Lita paused. "Well…just grab the purple and orange pads. As for the tampons, get a couple boxes of the small ones."

" _Okay. Um…which brand?_ "

"I don't care! Just as long as it absorbs my fucking blood!"

She hung up, not wanting to hear his response. She hadn't realized not all men were like her father and able to fetch feminine products for their female housemates. Even so, she normally did her own shopping. And what if Flug  _did_  come back with the wrong things? After all,  _he_  didn't know how her periods went!

"I need to get out of this house," she murmured.

* * *

After Lita cut him off, Dr. Flug sighed and randomly scooped packages of tampons and pads into his cloth shopping bag. Might as well just grab all of them. Two Hatbots were hovering on opposite ends of the aisle, making sure no one interfered. Not that anyone did. Every store in this town was used to robberies, especially from Black Hat and his crew.

Flug paused when the next box of pads he picked up had the word "scented" on it.

"Why in the world would anyone want their genitals scented?" he muttered, tossing it into the bag. "Women are so complicated."

"Excuse me?"

The sudden voice caused Flug to squeak. On instinct, he whipped out his laser gun and spun around.

"How did you get past the—gah!"

The sight he was met with made him fumble with his gun. Standing there was a young, pale-skinned woman in her mid-twenties, dressed in a simple white polo and khakis. Her auburn hair fell down to her shoulders in gentle wisps. Brown, chocolate eyes peered at him through a pair of thick-rimmed spectacles.

Sweat started dripping down Flug's paper bag. He recognized the woman. Her hair was longer, her figure had filled out, but it was her. He gulped, fearing what would happen.

_Does she recognize me? No, she couldn't possibly! I made sure of it!_

"Do you mind moving?" the woman asked in a flat tone.

Shaking out of his daze, Flug snapped back into villain mode and pointed the gun at her. "D-Do you have any idea who you're speaking to?!"

_Please say you don't, please say you don't!_

"Well, duh,  _everyone_  knows who you are," she said, glancing behind him. "And I don't wanna get in the way of…whatever you're doing, but you're blocking the vaginal cream."

Flug looked back at the lower shelf. "Oh." Forcing a laugh, he stepped to the side. "Right. Of course. I'm done in this aisle any—" He stopped. "Vaginal cream?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Uh…yeah? Not that it's any of your business."

His goggles glinted. "That's wonderful!"

"Huh?" she said, looking more confused.

"I-I m-m-mean…" He pointed the gun again. "Yes, yes. Y-You just finish your shopping, Andi, and s-stay out of our way and I won't shoot!"

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, dude." As she bent down to get her cream, she stiffened. "Hey, wait, how'd you know my—?"

But by the time Andi looked up, Flug had fled to the next aisle.

The evil scientists rushed through the store, hastily grabbing the rest of the items on the list. Why, why,  _why_  did he have to run into  _her_?! Well, she did live here, after all. He should've had her deported years ago. Even if she didn't remember him, seeing her was too much.

There was some satisfaction in seeing her again. She looked much healthier than the last time. It seemed the hormonal pills had worked well, and if she was getting vaginal cream, she must've gotten the surgery.

It'd been odd for her to act so nonchalant around him if she didn't recognize him. Then again, she'd acted that way before too. Like Lita, she'd lived in this town for some time too and was used to casual robberies.

Anyway, Flug was glad to see that Andi had completed her transition. At least she was doing alright. That had been the one thing that'd worried him the past few years, whether or not she'd recovered from…what he'd done to her.

And she didn't remember him. That was good. It was better that way.

But damn! Why did she have to look so  _good_?!

* * *

"Someone's been practicing," Black Hat said after Lita had jabbed him in the ribs.

For their weekly sparring session, Lita had suggested they go with bo staffs this time. He now understood why, as her technique seemed to have improved. Not that it hurt him or anything. He was shirtless again, in an effort to mess with her, but honestly, Lita was used to it by now.

"Glad you've noticed," she said, blocking his strike from above. "Not like I have anything better to do being cooped up in here." She swung her staff below, only for him to jump over it. "So when are you actually gonna have me steal something?"

Black Hat smirked as he blocked her next blow. "Eager to get into the game, are we?"

"It's what you hired me to do, isn't it?" She leaped back as he swung at her. "So when's my first job?"

It wasn't until a few strikes later that he answered. "When you're ready."

Their staffs clashed above their heads as she scowled at him. "And when will I be ready?"

He winked. "When I say you are."

With a frustrated grunt, Lita pushed him backward. "I've done your stupid training courses! I've answered your dumb riddles!"

"Not  _all_  of them," he said, waving his staff teasingly.

"Well, come on! You can't expect me to know the answer to  _everything_  in the entire world!" She lunged at him. "You said I was getting better!"

His staff met hers and he kicked her in the stomach, sending her backwards. Lita landed on the mat with a thud. She groaned as she clutched her aching stomach.

"Indeed, you are," he said, balancing his staff vertically as he leaned his chin onto it. "But you're still not ready."

Her eyes narrowed at him. "What more do you want me to fucking do?!"

He stared at her a moment. "Why don't we take five?"

Still angry, Lita tossed her staff to the side and sat up. Black Hat sat down beside her, using his staff for support.

"Tell me, Miss Gris," he said, glancing sideways at her. "What is it you desire?"

She looked at him incredulously. "To see my Papi, of course."

"No, no." He rolled his eye. "I mean in general. Don't you have any goals? Some feats you'd like to accomplish?"

Lita blinked. "Huh." She brought her knees to her chest. "No one's…ever really asked me that before."

He turned towards her, finding that hard to believe. Truth was that Lita had never really thought about what she wanted for a long time. After her mother died, all she'd thought about was taking care of her father.

"What about when you were a child?" Black Hat asked, leaning towards her. "Was there anything you wanted to be or do when you grew up?"

It took a minute for her to think about it.

"I wanted to be in the Olympics," she said with a small smile.

Black Hat glanced at the rings hanging from the ceiling. "In gymnastics, I presume."

She nodded. "On the bar, on the rings, I felt…invincible. Like…I could do anything." She leaned her chin onto her knees. "That was before the whole thieving thing, of course."

It made sense. No child started out wanting to be a criminal. Black Hat was pleased to find out she had  _some_  ambition.

"Mostly I just wanted to get away," Lita continued, gazing up at the ceiling. "As far from this island as possible. I've lived here my whole life and have never seen what's beyond it."

She glanced over at Black Hat and found him staring thoughtfully at her. Suddenly, she remembered who she was talking to.

"Stupid, huh?" she said, straightening her legs.

"Not at all," Black Hat said in a surprisingly sincere tone. "First thing I did once I was old enough and had the money was get as far away from my place of birth as possible."

Her eyes widened at how…normal that piece of backstory sounded. "Place of birth? You mean you were once—?"

He ignored her question. "Though take it from someone who's been everywhere. And I mean  _everywhere_. Not everything is worth seeing."

"I know." Lita sighed sadly. "But just one day…on the mainland, or…I don't know, Hoboken! That would be enough for me."

"Is that so?" He stroked his chin in thought. "Well then," he said, standing up, "until you prove to me that you are willing to pull off a heist, you'll just have to keep practicing." Reaching out his hand, he levitated his shirt and coat over. "We're done for today."

"What?" Lita said, standing. "But that wasn't even ten minutes! And how am I supposed to prove—?"

"You want something, Miss Gris," Black Hat said, glancing back at her, "you need to work for it."

"But—"

But he had slinked out of there before she could argue further. Growling, Lita clenched her hands into fists. She was getting sick of Black Hat's little mind games.

Her anger continued to fume as she went on with her afternoon chores.

"How can I  _not_  be ready?" she grumbled as she dusted the stolen items in Black Hat's trophy room. "He's seen what I can do! He's read my police record! I beat him at fucking chess! What more does that bastard want from me?!"

In her fury, she accidentally knocked one of the ionic pedestals over. Fortunately, she caught the object before it hit the ground. As she set it back on the pedestal, she examined it more closely.

It was a green Fabergé egg, decorated in gold. But the strange thing about it was the design. The gold trimming was laced into a skull, and near the top of the egg was an emblem of a black top hat. The egg seemed familiar, and it took a few seconds for Lita to remember where she'd seen it before. In an old newspaper clipping her father had kept in a scrapbook. It'd been an article in Russian, though her father had told her the headline read that a priceless Fabergé egg had been stolen. One that  _he_  had stolen.

So, this was the egg Ricardo had gotten for Black Hat years ago. Lita didn't remember much from that story, only that her father had said something about the egg once belonging to Black Hat and that he'd paid a large sum for its return. Ricardo had had to sneak into a duchess' home in St. Petersburg to get it. Of course, he'd never been caught for it.

"Papi always said I could've pulled off the job just as well," Lita murmured.

As she stared at the egg for another minute, an idea formulated in her head.

* * *

"WHERE IS IT?!"

Shrieking, Flug dropped the photograph he'd been staring at and instinctively shielded his head with his arms.

"TROPHY ROOM! NOW!"

There was no use ignoring his call. When Black Hat shouted at such a volume, he was clearly in a bad mood and would vanquish anyone who didn't immediately obey him. After checking that his will and testament was tucked safely in his desk drawer, Flug hastened to the trophy room. 5.0.5., Dementia and Lita were already there, lined up and saluting. Flug quickly joined them, his hand shaking.

"W-What seems to be the p-problem, b-b-boss?" he said.

Black Hat turned to them, his one eye blazing red.

"Who," he seethed, "is responsible," he pointed to an empty pedestal, "for  _this_?!"

Everyone looked over at the pedestal. 5.0.5. put his paw to his mouth, Dementia snickered in amusement, Lita appeared confused, while Flug gasped in horror.

"S-Sir, y-your egg! It's g-g-gone!"

"I can see that, you idiot!" Black Hat hollered, bearing his claws. "Now…WHICH ONE OF YOU IDIOTS TOOK IT?!"

"W-W-Wasn't me, boss, I swear!"

5.0.5. shook his head insistently.

"Sorry, don't have it," Dementia said with a shrug.

Black Hat's eye fell on Lita, who held up her hands defensively.

"Come on. You really think I'd be reckless enough to try and steal from  _you_?"

"W-Wait, sir!" Flug said, pulling out his tablet. "I c-can check the cameras!"

He pulled up the video feed and rewound it to fifteen minutes ago, when the egg was still there. The others huddled around and watched. For a while, nothing happened. Then suddenly, the egg began to rise up into the ceiling. Black Hat glared at his subordinates.

"No one could have possibly infiltrated my lair," he said, pacing around them. "So, it  _had_  to have been one of you! So, I will ask again." He stopped in front of them. "Which one of you STOLE MY EGG?!"

"Aw," Dementia said with a huff. "Who cares about a stupid old egg, anyway? I mean besides making an omelet."

Black Hat was immediately in her face. "That egg was given to me by Peter Carl Fabergé himself! Until it was stolen from me during the Russian Revolution and then I had it stolen back!"

Dementia twirled a strand of her hair. "You look awfully cute when you're angry, boss."

Just then, something dropped out of Dementia's long ponytail. Seeing what it was, Black Hat scowled at her. She too glanced down and squeaked. Sitting beside her hair was the Fabergé egg!

"H-How'd that get in there?" Dementia said, genuinely shocked.

She screamed as she was suddenly ensnared by Black Hat's tentacles. Everyone else took a step back, not wanting to get involved. Flug ducked behind another pedestal while 5.0.5. shielded Lita's eyes. Lita, however, peeked out between his paws.

"IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE TO YOU?!" Black Hat shouted, lifting Dementia into the air.

"No, sweetie, I swear!" she wheezed. "It wasn't me! Really, this time I have no idea how—"

With a loud roar, he threw her out the door. Unfortunately, it had been closed and now had a Dementia-shaped hole.

"5.0.5., clean that up!" Black Hat exclaimed as he levitated the egg into his hands.

The bear nodded and ran out to fetch a broom.

"Flug, get back to work!"

"Y-Y-Yes, sir!" Flug said with a salute before scampering off.

Figuring she was no longer needed here, Lita turned to leave.

"Stay, Miss Gris."

She stiffened, but tried not to panic. Maybe he wanted her to help clean up too. Putting on an innocent smile, Lita faced him.

"Yeah, boss?"

He appeared to have calmed down, but was scowling at her intently. He held up the egg in one hand.

"Care to explain how this got into Dementia's hair?"

Trying not to show her surprise, Lita calmly placed her hands behind her back. "I…don't know what you—"

"Cut the act, Miss Gris," he said, stepping towards her. "Did you  _really_  think I wouldn't figure it out?"

She blinked up at him as he towered over her. "I, uh…have no idea what you're—"

"Oh, please," Black Hat said with a huff. "I deduced it was you from the beginning. After all, it was your father who had stolen this egg." His face was now an inch from hers. "You thought you could get my goat, did you? Stealing it back would be the perfect revenge."

Lita was completely still and speechless.  _How…how could he have possibly…?_

"Now, let's see," he said, turning around, tossing the egg into his other hand. "I imagine you used the air ducts as a means of entry." He glanced up at the ceiling. Sure enough, there was a grate right above the egg's pedestal. "But of course, knowing of the cameras, you couldn't have risked being seen entering the air ducts. That would make you an obvious suspect. So, you must've entered from one of the bathrooms as they are free of cameras."

He sent her a smirk. "Feel free to correct me at any time."

Lita's mouth opened.

"Judging by this small patch of stickiness here," Black Hat said, licking his finger and using the saliva to polish the egg, "I can assume you attached a piece of chewing gum to a fishing wire, which would appear almost invisible on camera, in order to retrieve the egg from above." He set the egg gently down on the cushioned pedestal. "A juvenile tactic, but effective, I'll admit.

"Of course, you didn't expect me to notice the egg was gone right away, so upon hearing my outburst, you didn't have time to hide the egg. But, with Dementia rushing to my call too, you must've seen an opportunity for revenge and stashed it in her hair. Not only would that put you in the clear, but the girl who'd humiliated you would take the fall."

Placing his hands behind his back, he faced her, smiling in triumph. "Did I leave anything out?"

Lita stared at him in bewilderment. He had described it all perfectly.

"B-B-But…if you knew, then…why punish Dementia?"

He shrugged. "It's what you wanted me to do, isn't it? Besides, she's annoying. You, on the other hand," he said, moving slowly towards her, "are rather clever…"

She gulped as he drew nearer, fearing that he was going to do the same thing to her as he'd done to Dementia. Lita had no idea the egg was  _that_  important to him! She'd just wanted to prove a point, that she  _was_  a capable thief! But he had figured her out, and now she was going to suffer the consequences.

She shut her eyes, waiting for the pain. This wasn't a sparring session, after all. He wasn't going to go easy on her, and she stood no chance against his supernatural powers.

A cold touch on her chin surprised her. Opening her eyes, she found him grinning at her, his finger tilting her head upwards.

"You're ready," he whispered.

Lita took a step back. She had  _not_  been expecting that.

"You…you're serious?"

"Of course." Black Hat gestured to the egg. "You've proven yourself quite the little thief and are ready for a  _real_  job."

"But…you knew it was me."

"Of course, I did." He pressed his fingertips together. "I'm extremely intelligent."

Her shoulders relaxed a bit. "So…you admit I can pull it off?"

"Oh, I had no doubt you could pull it off."

Lita cocked her head in confusion. "Then why—?"

"It wasn't a matter of  _can_ , but a matter of  _will_." With one hand behind his back, he circled round her. "You see, Miss Gris, with all your skills, you still lacked one crucial component of being a successful villain." He whispered in her ear. "The drive.

"In your month here, you've expressed no interest in villainy whatsoever. You only signed up for this position to save your father." He stopped in front of her. "Before I could trust you to do evil, I needed to see your desire to do so. And now," he said, mocking her with a boop on the nose, "I have it out of you."

She stared at him as she tried to process what was happening. "Did you… _expect_  me to do something like this?"

"You mean try to prove yourself by double-crossing me?" he said, waving his hand. "You were so eager to get out and do something,  _anything_ , it was the most likely scenario. Though I will admit, I thought you'd try something smaller like pick my pocket." He chuckled. "Not that anyone could pickpocket  _me_. Though I suppose stealing the egg your father stole for me was more…poetic."

He leaned forward to whisper, "Framing it on Dementia was a delightfully sinister touch."

She gazed up at him with a mixture of disbelief and…admiration. "You're good." She crossed her arms. "Seriously. You're good at what you do."

"And don't you forget it," Black Hat said, wagging his finger. "I'll give you the details on your first heist tomorrow."

As he walked past her, Lita scrunched her nose in confusion.

"Wait," she said, spinning around. "You're not gonna punish me?"

"Now, why would I do that," he said, smiling back at her, "when you did exactly what I wanted you to do?" He faced her again. "One more thing, Miss Gris. When you had the egg, did you have the curiosity to look inside?"

"Inside?" Lita said, glancing back at the egg.

He shook his head. "Pity. Oh, it's just as well." He tipped his hat. "Until tomorrow, Miss Gris."

When he was gone, Lita stood there for a long while, dazed. She had expected him to be angry. And she certainly hadn't expected him to figure out how she'd done it! Then again, he  _was_  the greatest villain of all time. At least she'd gotten what she'd wanted.

And it was strange. Stealing the egg, and then seeing Dementia take the fall for it, had been almost…enjoyable.  _See how_ she _likes being framed._

She gazed curiously at the egg on the pedestal. She'd forgotten that Fabergé eggs often had something inside them. Was that why Black Hat was so furious about its disappearance? Was there something important inside?

There was so little she knew about Black Hat, the desire to know was burning inside her. Already, her hand was absentmindedly reaching towards the egg. The tips of her fingers were nearly on its jeweled surface.

Then she stopped. She'd already angered Black Hat once today. It'd be dangerous to push her luck any further.

So, she left the room without another thought. She had no idea a certain demon had been watching her from the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe me, this wasn't a case of writer's block. Between work and the play I'm in, the last day I've had off was Easter. I barely even had time for my other projects. But I've got everything I need for this fanfic planned in my head.
> 
> There will be more on Andi later. Though fun fact: I actually came up with her character before Lita. But there were so many holes in that fanfic idea I decided to let that one develop and work on this one for which I had a clearer idea.
> 
> BTW, it seems we will be getting more on "Villainous" soon and no doubt a lot of things in this fanfic, including character backstories, will not be canon. But oh well, this is a fanfic, after all.


	16. Mission: Invincible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita finally gets to steal something.

 

"So not only did you steal the boss' prized Fabergé egg," Flug said while tinkering with a belt at his worktable, "but he actually let you get away with it?"

"He apparently saw it coming." Lita replied from behind the curtain of the decontamination shower, where she was changing into the new stealth suit Flug had made for her. "Said it was some kind of test to see if I had the drive or something like that."

He shook his head in disbelief. "You are either the boldest individual I've ever known…or the dumbest. And I know Dementia!"

"Harsh, Flug."

"I'm serious! Do you have  _any_  idea how much worse you could've had it?! I mean what were you even thinking?! Stealing from  _Black Hat_?!"

He heard her grunt. "He pissed me off. I wanted to show him I was a good thief."

"By stealing his  _egg_?! It's one of his most prized possessions! Black Hat doesn't even let 5.0.5.  _dust_  that thing!"

"I didn't think it was  _that_  important. I just know my papi stole it for him once and at the time, it seemed…appropriate."

Sighing, Flug screwed a bolt into a small metal box attached to the belt. "It was incredibly reckless. I mean you  _are_  supposed to act evil, but to steal from Black Hat…last guy who tried a thing like that lost both his hands."

Lita scoffed. "Joke would be on the boss. I wouldn't be able to pull off any heists for him."

"Trust me, Lita, no matter how useful you are,  _no one_  is safe from Black Hat's wrath." Flug smirked under his bag. "Still…it was kind of…fun watching Dementia take the fall for something  _you_  did."

"So it  _was_  you, you little—"

"DEMENTIA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, I'M CHANGING!"

The sudden outburst from Lita made Flug drop his screwdriver. He spun around to see Dementia skittering out from under the shower curtain, whining like a wounded puppy. He watched in bewilderment as she hid under the worktable.

"Consider it payback for that spaghetti incident!" Lita yelled, her volume down halfway, but still furious.

"F-Fine, we're even!" Dementia exclaimed. "Just don't frame me again!"

"I won't if you won't!"

Hearing snickering, Dementia looked up to see Flug staring down at her, a smug look in his goggles. She growled at him.

"What are  _you_  laughing at, nerd?!"

"You just got scared by," he scoffed, " _Lita_."

"Was not!" Dementia yelled, jumping out of her hiding place. "She just…hurt my ears with all her shouting!"

"How you doing in there, Lita?" Flug asked, swiveling his chair around.

"Is this suit supposed to be tight?" she asked, sounding uncertain.

"It has to cling to your body to allow flexibility for movement. But if it's too small, I have the shrink ray ready right here."

He patted the ray gun on the table beside him, then slapped Dementia's hand away upon seeing her reach for it.

"Remember, this is still a prototype," Flug said, getting his clipboard and pencil. "We need to test out its features before we break into the museum."

"Why are we stealing this…Black Diamond of Bombay again?" Lita asked.

"Cuz it's big, shiny and really expensive!" Dementia scoffed. "Duh!"

"For once, Dementia is correct," Flug said with reservation. "Villains don't always need a reason to steal something. In this case, however, it was requested by a client."

"Which one?" Lita asked.

"Hmm. Black Hat didn't say, but I'm sure it's important. Best not to question other villains' motives, as they may find it insulting."

"Everyone does something for a reason," Lita said as she pulled the curtain aside. "So, what do ya think?"

Flug's pencil dropped to the floor. As did Dementia's jaw.

The suit was standard for burglary. Black, so it could blend into the shadows. Covering her from neck to toe, it fit tightly around Lita's body, showing off her figure in a way none of her previous outfits had before. Wincing, she struggled to snap the thin fabric out of the more unpleasant places.

Flug couldn't help but gawk. The unfortunate curse of being pansexual was that he was more likely to find someone attractive than most, no matter the gender. Not that he would even think to break Rule 10V3—again—but there was no rule saying he couldn't at least appreciate someone's physical appearance.

Dementia, on the other hand, was seething with envy. True, Lita's bust was small compared to Dementia's, and she was still shorter, but… _damn it_  this girl had curves! And muscles too!

"I've kind of always wanted something like this," Lita said, smoothing out her front. "I just never thought it'd be this…" She trailed off when she noticed her colleagues staring. "Is it really that bad?"

"No/Yes!" Flug and Dementia blurted at the same time.

"I knew it!" Lita's arms drooped. "Too tight!"

"You kidding me, girl?" Flug said, jumping out of his chair. "You're  _rocking_  that look!"

Both women looked at the scientist. They couldn't see his face, but his neck was red with embarrassment.

"I-I mean," Flug said, tugging on his collar. "A-As an o-objective o-observation from a, uh…scientific perspective, I, err, can conclude that the, um…suit has a, uh…aesthetic appeal when on your person."

"Smooth," Dementia muttered, narrowing her gaze.

Lita blushed slightly at the compliment. "Aw, thanks, Flug." She looked over her shoulder at her rear. "Still, it's a little hard to move."

The scientist cleared his throat. "Yes, fair point. Mobility is necessary for the job." He picked up the shrink ray and switched it to reverse. "Now hold still. We wouldn't want to accidentally turn you into a fifty-foot giant."

"That," Lita said, "actually sounds pretty cool." She giggled at the thought. "Can you at least make me taller than Black Hat?"

Flug chuckled. "Seriously, though. Don't. Move. A. Muscle."

Nodding, she held her arms out to her sides. "You've done this before, right?"

"Absolutely," Flug said, adjusting the power dial on the ray—a feature he'd added after the giant 5.0.5. incident. "I just have to concentrate the energy on your outfit rather than your entire person."

"So…that'll just make the  _outfit_  bigger, right?"

"Of course." He pointed the gun at her. "Theoretically."

"Wait, what?"

Flug didn't hesitate to pull the trigger. Lita winced as she was suddenly encased in blue light.  _Well, at least the worst that could happen is that I grow so much I rip through my clothes. Being giant and naked is better than being blown up._

However, she didn't feel any pain. In fact, her body didn't even feel tight anymore. Thinking the ray had worked, Lita opened her eyes.

The suit was bigger, alright. So much that the sleeves were drooping over her fingers and the front was sagging. Lita had to scrunch it up to hide her cleavage. Dementia was on the floor, laughing.

"Hmm," Flug said, tapping the part of his bag covering his chin. "May have used a  _little_  too much power."

"You think?" Lita said, scowling.

"Let's try this again, then," he said, flipping the switch back to shrink mode.

"No, no, wait!"

Her arms were out to the sides just as the ray gun hit her again. The suit shrank quickly, and Lita gasped as it tightened around her chest.

"Too small!" she wheezed. "Too small!"

"Whoops!" Flug switched the ray back to reverse. "Hang tight, I got it!"

"Got the  _tight_  part right!"

It took several attempts of growing and shrinking before the suit was just tight enough to fit around her body, but loose enough to allow for movement. Not to mention it wasn't riding up her butt crack anymore.

"Better?" Flug asked.

"Much," Lita said, rubbing her sore wrists. "Next time I want something resized though, I'm getting a tailor."

"Now you've just gotta put on these," he said, picking up a set of matching black gloves and slip-on boots, "and we can test out the suit's electrostatic functions."

Lita stared at him as she slid on the boots. "High school drop-out, Flug."

He sighed in disappointment. Even though Lita was smarter than Dementia, he still had the most complex vocabulary in the group.

"It's supposed to help you walk on walls."

"Seriously?" Lita said, gazing in awe at the gloves now on her hands. "Like Spiderman?"

"I…may have looked to the comics for inspiration." He rubbed the back of his neck, seemingly ashamed. "Just don't tell Black Hat I got the idea from a superhero, even if fictional. But yes, if my calculations were correct, the suit  _should_  cling to any surface, thus allowing you to walk on walls…like Spiderman."

"Big deal!" Dementia huffed. " _I_  can already do that  _without_  a lame-o suit!"

She demonstrated by slithering up the wall.

"While that is a fact," Flug said, scowling up at the mutant as she crawled to the ceiling, "this is supposed to be a  _stealth_  operation. And  _some_  of us don't know when to be  _quiet_!"

Like something out of  _The Exorcist_ , Dementia's head snapped all the way around to look at the scientist. "I can be quiet!"

"When you  _want_  to be," he muttered.

"I heard that, nerd!" Her gaze turned to the other woman. "So, ya coming up here girlie, or what?"

"What do I have to do?" Lita asked the scientist.

"Just press your hands and feet against the wall and climb," Flug said, pointing to the nearest wall.

Dementia huffed. "What kind of advice is  _that_?"

He crossed his arms. "If  _you_  can do better, be my guest!"

"Gladly!" She craned her head back and slithered her way to the wall. "I  _do_  have more experience in this area, after all!"

Lita shrugged as she walked up to the wall. "She's got a point there, Flug."

Dementia's face was now beside hers. "Ya gotta grip the wall," she said, holding up a hand in a claw-like fashion. "Don't just slam your hands like you're playing pattycake! Keep your fingers flexed and firm, but not  _too_  firm or you'll get all tense and it'll be more effort than you'd like! Same goes for your toes. They and your fingers will be the only things keeping ya from falling. And whatever you do, never lift one hand or foot at the same time, or you'll lose your grip! Ya gotta make small movements, even when going fast! Have one hand or foot off the wall for too long, and you'll fall!"

Lita blinked up at her in astonishment. "Why can't you be this helpful all the time?"

"Cuz I don't like you," Dementia said, rolling her eyes as if it were obvious. "Come on, girlie, my fingers are getting tired!"

Taking a deep breath, Lita flexed her fingers just as Dementia had demonstrated and pressed them against the wall. She could feel them sticking, but still was unsure if this could hold her weight. It wasn't that she was afraid of heights, as she had lowered herself from ceilings by rope dozens of times, but given the unpredictable stability of this suit, she couldn't help but feel a little nervous.

"Well, come on, scaredy cat!" Dementia exclaimed. "Jump already!"

It took a couple leaps for Lita to finally get the toes of her boots clinging to the wall. She stayed there a moment, surprised that her body was holding.

"Come on, let's go!" the mutant girl said, slithering up backwards. "Small but quick steps! Get moving, slowpoke!"

Biting her lip, Lita quickly tore one hand away from the wall and moved it upwards. She then tried the other hand, shaking all the while. Shutting her eyes, she moved one foot at a time, then the hands, then the feet.

"You're doing great, Lita!" Flug shouted encouragingly.

"Ow!" Lita cried out as her head hit the ceiling.

"Open your eyes, dummy!" Dementia said from a few feet away from her. "Watch where you're going!"

As she opened her eyes, Lita gazed down, amazed at how high up she was. Her nerves started to melt away.

_Did I really do that?_

"Keep going!" Flug shouted up to her. "You need to practice on the ceiling too!"

Due to the lab being made from the remains of a plane, its structure was cylindrical, making it easier for Lita to move from the wall to the ceiling. As she crawled upside-down, she could feel the blood rushing to her head, and the adrenaline to her fingertips.

In her career as a thief, she had crawled through vents, scaled walls by rope, and handsprung her way through laser grids. But she had  _never_ imagined she could do anything like  _this_! After all, humans weren't meant to walk on walls. Yet here she was, doing just that.

Dementia waited in the center of the ceiling, watching her, mildly impressed.

"Not bad, kid," she said. "Ya know. For someone who's not part lizard."

"Is this how you feel  _all_  the time?" Lita said as she approached her.

Cocking her head, Dementia replied, "Feel what?"

A smile tugged at the smaller woman's lips. "Invincible."

"Oh." She shrugged. "Yeah, suppose that's one way to put it."

All was going well, until Lita's right hand slipped on the metal surface. She didn't know whether it was because she'd miscalculated a step or the metal was slippery. Either way, it caused her hand to slide forward—or rather  _down_. As Lita flailed to get her arm back up, her left foot lost its balanced and it, too, dropped from the ceiling. Lita yelped as she found herself hanging by only her left hand and right foot. Already she could feel her left fingers losing their cling.

"Lita!" Flug cried, gripping either side of his bag.

"Flug!" Lita exclaimed, wriggling to regain her balance.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" The scientist started running about the lab in panic. "5.0.5.! 5.0.5.! Don't worry, 5.0.5. will catch you! Just hang tight!"

She glared down at him. "Seriously?!"

"I told you!" Dementia hollered. "Only one hand or foot at a time!"

"Shut the fuck up, Dementia, and help me out here!"

The lizard-girl scoffed. "Would it kill ya to say  _please_?"

Lita scowled. " _Please_?!"

"I dunno." She cocked her head with a mischievous grin. "Didn't really sound sincere."

Lita growled in anger. "DEMENTIA, IF YOU DON'T FUCKING HELP ME RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA—"

She didn't get to finish her threat, as her other hand fell away. For but a second, Lita dangled by her foot before it, too, fell victim to gravity. She heard Flug's screams accompany hers as she tumbled towards the floor.

The bear was nowhere around, and there was no way Flug had the strength to catch her! And yet, he was racing towards her with his arms out.

 _Well, at the very least, he can break my fall. Or I'd just break_ him _._

Shutting her eyes, Lita braced herself for impact.

She landed on her back with a thud, but there was no pain. It took a second for her to realize she wasn't on the metal floor, but in someone's arms. One arm had caught her beneath her knees, while the other supported her back. Upon landing, her arm had found its way around her savior's neck.

At first, Lita thought perhaps Flug was stronger than she'd given him credit for, but these arms felt too big to be his. Her rescuer also didn't have a lab coat on, from the feel of the material. And while the hands were gloved, they felt…cold.

Really,  _really_  cold.

When her eyes finally opened, they widened once they gazed upon the face of the last person she had expected to save her.

Her boss.

"Flug," Black Hat said gruffly, his eye not seeming to acknowledge Lita. "This  _better_  not be the suit Miss Gris is wearing for the heist!"

"I  _told_  him it was too tight!" Lita blurted without even thinking.

He raised an eyebrow at her. Her cheeks flushed upon realizing he'd been referring the suit's failure to cling.

"I-It's a work-in-progress, s-sir," Flug said with a salute. "B-B-But I should get the b-b-bugs worked out in time for the heist!"

"See that you do." Narrowing his gaze, Black Hat lifted it towards the ceiling. "And Dementia!"

"Yes, my love?" she replied, fluttering her eyelashes.

"The next time Miss Gris falls to the floor," he said, his tone growing darker by the word, "I expect you to catch her. Or else  _you'll_  be the one falling to the floor…" For a moment, the room seemed to erupt into flames as he shouted, "OF THE GRAND CANYON!"

Startled by his outburst, Dementia lost her grip on the ceiling and came tumbling down…right onto Flug. They both cried out as they fell into a crumpled heap. The room returned to normal as Black Hat stared down at them.

"Have I made myself," he said with a growl, " _clear_?!"

Flug and Dementia mumbled in panicked agreement, the former saluting weakly. Black Hat then turned to Lita, whose face had become beet red as she stared at him with her wide, blue eyes.

"WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?!" he barked, causing Lita to recoil at the rotten smell of his breath.

"N-Nothing, sir," Lita said, more taken aback than frightened. "It's just…um…"

" _What_?!"

With her free hand, she pointed to the floor. "Can you put me down, please?"

Black Hat glanced down at his arms, as if only just realizing he was holding her. After a moment of stunned silence, he dropped her legs, then stepped away from her once she'd found her footing.

"T-Thanks," Lita said, removing her hand from his shoulder.

Clearing his throat, Black Hat smoothed out the wrinkles in his sleeves. "No matter."

"I'll, uh…" She flexed her fingers. "I'll be more careful next time, sir."

He stared at her incredulously. "Obviously, this was the fault of that idiot scientist for crafting an inadequate suit, and that irresponsible mutant for allowing you to fall."

"Hel _lo_!" Dementia said, waving from the floor. "We're still here!"

Apparently, Lita had forgotten the other two as well and moved to help them up. Well, more Flug than Dementia, as the latter refused to touch her.

"You have three days to get that blasted suit in order, Flug!" Black Hat huffed as he sauntered towards the door. "And I expect there'll be no more interruptions while I'm working!"

"Y-Yes, sir!" Flug said as he cracked his spine back into place.

"S-Sir?" Lita called in an unexpectedly weak voice.

Pausing in the doorway, Black Hat turned back to her.

Her face became even redder as she asked, "W-What do you think of my suit?"

She wasn't sure why she was asking. It wasn't like she cared how she looked to her boss. Maybe she just wanted to make sure it was appropriate for the job.

He stared at her a moment, his one eye moving up and down her body.

"I think," he said bluntly, "Flug needs to get it fixed."

And with that, he slipped out like a shadow.

"He means the bugs, of course," Flug said, limping over to his worktable. "You look great."

"I-I know," Lita said, lifting her hand to hide her blush. "S-Should I…take it off so you can work on it?"

"I'll fix it later." When he faced her, he held up the belt he'd been tinkering with. "We still need to test this grappling line."

Her eyes lit up. "I…I get my own grappling line?"

"Mmm-hmm," Flug said as he wrapped the belt around her waist.

"No way!" she said excitedly. "Normally I just use an old rope!"

"Not anymore." He clicked the belt into place. "You're working with us now."

"First the suit, now a grappling line?" She let out an unexpected squeal. "I feel like such a pro!" She gasped as a new thought occurred to her. "Do I get a weapon too?"

"Slow down, girl," Flug said with a slight chuckle. "The boss still has yet to approve your weapons-wielding privileges. But don't worry, if all goes well with this heist, he might just trust you enough with a weapon."

Lita frowned. "What do I do if I get caught?"

"Easy!" Dementia shouted as she spun round in round in Flug's chair. "Don't…get…caught!"

"Get out of my chair!" Flug yelled, stomping over to her.

While the scientist attempted in vain to pull the mutant from the spinning chair, Lita traced a hand over the shiny new belt, trying to get her mind off the traumatic fall she'd just had.

And the unexpectedly pleasant feeling of being in her boss' strong arms.

* * *

The lights were out in the Hat Island Museum. One would think it was abandoned, if not for the occasional glimmers of flashlights from the security guards wandering the halls. A black van with a logo for "Mel's Mad Hattery" was parked in an alley three buildings away.

Inside, Flug sat at his laptop, a series of monitors hanging on the wall above him.

"Alright," he said, typing aggressively, his goggles glued to the screen. "I've nearly hacked into the museum's cameras. Do you remember the plan?"

"Yeah, I got it." In the corner of the van, Lita was struggling to fit her long ponytail into a black ski mask—last time she'd worn a mask, her hair hadn't been as long. "Dementia and I will climb onto the roof, I'll use the grappling line to lower myself down from the skylight, weave my way through the laser grid, use the glass cutter you gave me, grab the diamond and pull myself up before any security guards come by."

Flug momentarily stopped typing to stare at her in surprise.

"Err…yes. Wow," he muttered under his breath. "Usually, I have to explain my plans fifty times to Dementia."

"Wait a minute!" Dementia cried from the front seat. "If  _she's_  grabbing the diamond, what am  _I_  supposed to be doing this whole time?"

"You," Flug said, continuing his typing while glaring at her out of the corner of his eye, "will be keeping lookout."

"Lookout?" She slithered up behind him. " _Lookout_?! No  _way_  are you gonna try sidelining me again, nerd! Why, I could do this whole heist with one hand tied behind my—YOW!"

Her claim was taken literally as she suddenly found her arm yanked around her back.

"This assignment," Black Hat hissed into her ear, "requires  _stealth_. And if you think I'm going to let  _you_  take the lead on this one after your  _last_  museum mishap," he twisted her arm further, not enough to break it, but to make her cry out in pain, "then you're  _sorely_  mistaken!"

"Whatever you say, boss!" Dementia squeaked, too scared to enjoy the feeling of her beloved holding her from behind.

Flug tried his best to ignore the abusive action going on behind him as he continued hacking. He'd been surprised when their boss had shown up in the van before their departure. Black Hat rarely ever joined them on heists, especially on small ones such as this.

"I won't be assisting you imbeciles in any way," Black Hat had said. "I'm merely here to observe our latest recruit in action."

That didn't make the demon's presence any less disconcerting, especially with him looking over Flug's shoulder every five seconds. It was a good thing 5.0.5. had sat this mission out, otherwise the van would've been much more crowded.

"I'd rather the authorities not know of our involvement in this…little errand," Black Hat said, pushing Dementia to the floor. "If they do, our client may be at risk."

"You still haven't said who we're stealing this for," Lita said, taking off her mask after failing to put all her hair in, again.

"They wish to remain anonymous."

Seeing her pull her mask back on for the fifth time, Black Hat rolled his eye and went to help her. She gasped in surprise as he stretched out the back of her mask and stuffed her hair up so that it was tightly packed in.

"Oh, uh, thanks," Lita said, stretching the mask's end over her neck.

"Got it!" Flug exclaimed triumphantly as security images of the museum popped up on the monitors. "Now to put the footage on loop so those small-minded donut-eaters don't see you coming."

"Well, that's not very nice, Flug," Lita said, leaning one hand onto his desk. "A lot of people eat donuts."

She almost didn't hear the snort of laughter from Black Hat.

"Don't forget," Flug said, swiveling his chair around and pointing to her chest. "With the hidden camera I've installed in your suit, we'll be watching your every move. So, don't hesitate to ask for help if you get into trouble." He pointed to the headset he wore over his bag. "You've got your earpiece in?"

Lita tapped her covered ear. "All set."

"Good. Don't forget the night-vision goggles."

Nodding, she picked up the green-glassed goggles next to Flug's laptop. The scientist stood to help her put them on, as they were a little heavy.

On the inside, Lita was squealing like a fangirl. She could not get over how high-tech this heist was! Back when she was a kid, the only tools she'd carried were a rope, her switchblade, and the occasional glass cutter or lockpick. And the only outfits she'd worn were dark hoodies, dark jeans and, of course, ski masks. Now she was being equipped with a sticky suit, a grappling line, and night-vision goggles! She felt like she could put Parker from  _Leverage_  to shame!

She was so glad no one could see her embarrassed blush under her mask. If her villainous boss knew she was  _this_  excited to be stealing again, he'd never let her live it down.

In truth, she was also a bit nervous. While she'd said she could get past any security system, she'd never actually broken into a museum before. Her father had made her swear to avoid high-profile jobs such as this, as they'd draw too much attention. He'd had no problem with her thievery, but hadn't wanted her caught. Homes and jewelry stores in this town were robbed too frequently for the police to put much effort into their investigations. But when a priceless object was stolen from a museum, the press would make a big deal out of it. Hence, she could understand why Black Hat wanted to keep this job under wraps.

That thought made her even more nervous. This was her chance to really prove herself to her boss and co-workers. This wasn't a training session, or an office prank. This was the real deal. Not to mention it'd been ten years since she'd actually stolen something. What if she was  _too_  out-of-practice? What if she got caught? She doubted she could end up in jail with this villainous crew backing her up, but her boss could get mad. She'd been lucky not to have pissed him off so far, and knew he was probably itching for an excuse to punish her, as he liked to do with the others on a daily basis.

If only there was enough time to grab one of the honey muffins 5.0.5. had given them for the road. She felt like stress eating.

"So, you ready?"

Flug's voice pulled Lita from her thoughts. "Oh. Yeah."

"Good," Black Hat said as he opened the van doors.

Dementia, still grumpy that she'd been demoted to lookout, hopped into the alley. Before Lita could exit, Black Hat snatched her arm.

"Don't," he growled into her ear, "make me regret my decision to hire you."

Lita forced a smile. "No pressure, then?"

He scowled at her a moment before releasing her. Lita followed Dementia and found her crawling up the wall of the building to her left. Deciding it would be faster, Lita took the fire escape.

"Hurry up, will ya?" Dementia called from the roof.

Grunting in annoyance, Lita hoisted herself onto the metal rail, gripped the cage above her and swung up through the opening to the next level.

"Wow," Flug said as he watched her acrobatic climb through the bodycam.

"Show-off," Dementia murmured as Lita flipped onto the roof.

"Now what?" Lita said, noting that they were three rooftops away from the museum.

"Now," the lizard-girl said with a smirk, "we have some  _real_  fun."

"What?"

Without warning, Dementia grabbed Lita by the arm and lifted her onto her back. Lita nearly choked on her extremely bushy green ponytail. AsWhen Dementia started running on all fours, Lita gripped her arms around the mutant's neck.

As they quickly approached the edge of the roof, Lita realized what Dementia was about to do.

"Wait, Dem—?"

"Hang on, kid!"

Lita had to bite back a scream as Dementia bounded off the roof, across the next alleyway. They landed on the next roof with a thud, and Dementia, unfazed by Lita's terror, kept running.

" _¡Híjole!_ " Lita breathed. "That…was pretty cool!"

"Ain't over yet!" Dementia said with a chuckle as she leaped to the next building.

Two jumps later and they were on the museum's rooftop. Lita had to hold her head to keep it from spinning as she climbed down from Dementia's back.

"W-Warn me next time you're gonna do that."

"Where'd be the fun in that?" Dementia replied with a giggle.

Once she'd gotten over her dizziness, Lita crept over to the inverted skylight. Peering through, she found a view of the jewelry exhibit below. In the gallery's center, surrounded by a green laser grid, was a glass case holding a black, star-cut diamond roughly twice the width of her finger. She remembered the details that were covered in the assignment's briefing.

"The Black Diamond of Bombay," her boss had said with a greedy smile on his face while pointing to a picture on a chalkboard. "This little beauty is forty carats in weight, and costs—"

"Roughly two million, three hundred thousand pesos?" she had estimated.

She smirked as she recalled everyone's surprised looks.

"What?" she had said with a shrug. "I know my diamonds."

That's what came with being the daughter of a retired master thief.

"Target's in sight," Lita said.

" _Image clear on my end_ ," said Flug's voice through her earpiece.

"I don't see any guards. Any on the cameras?"

There was a short pause. " _The nearest one is three galleries away from you. As long as you don't make any noise, you should be fine._ " His tone became patronizing. " _That means you too, Dementia!_ "

Dementia turned Lita towards her, so Flug could see her tongue through the bodycam.

" _Real mature_ ," said Flug in an unimpressed tone." _Okay, Lita, I've looped the footage on the camera in the diamond exhibit, so you should be good to go._ "

"Thanks, Flug," Lita said, taking the glass cutter out from the small pouch in her belt. "Wish I'd had you around when I was breaking into jewelry stores. Would've saved me the trouble of throwing chewing gum on the cam lenses."

If he'd been anywhere near Flug's microphone, Lita would've heard Black Hat's amused chuckle. The demon didn't wear a headset, as his hearing was attuned enough to pick up the sound through Flug's headphones.

" _A bit juvenile_ ," Flug said as Lita carefully cut a square into the glass. " _But must've been effective if you didn't get caught_."

"Hey," Lita said. "When you're a teenage girl trying not to go broke, you use whatever ya got."

Using the stickiness in her gloves, Lita lifted the newly cut square from the window and carefully set it to the side.

"Alright, Dementia," she said, pressing the button on her belt to shoot out her grappling line. "If anything goes wrong," she hooked the line on the metal rail beside the skylight, "pull me up as fast as you can."

Snorting, Dementia crossed her arms. "And why should I? Why can't I just climb down and grab the diamond myself?" She smiled mischievously. "Even better, why don't I just cut the line and let you fall to your doom?"

" _Dementia, we don't have time for this!_ " Flug shouted through the commlinks. " _Just stick with the plan!_ "

"Keep out of this, nerd!" the lizard-girl cried, swatting at her own ear.

"Shh!" Lita put her finger to her lips. "We're supposed to be—"

"I'm just saying you don't see  _me_  gearing myself up with all this nerd stuff! I don't need this puny human to do a job I could do in my sleep!"

Back in the van, Black Hat was prepared to wrench the headset from Flug's bag and scream at the mutant for her insubordination.

But Lita beat her to it.

"Look,  _chica_ ," she said, grabbing the front of Dementia's hoodie and pulling her down to her eyelevel. "I get it. You hate me. I ain't so keen on you either. But let me put it this way. Your boss, your  _beloved_ , is watching. And if we screw this up, he'll have  _both_ our heads! So, I suggest you sit quietly, and follow the plan, or else," Dementia's eyes widened as the glass cutter was suddenly pressed to her throat, "you're gonna see what I'm like when I'm  _really_  mad!"

For a moment, Dementia was legitimately scared of the tiny woman threatening her. Lita was usually calm and collected, so it was pretty off-putting whenever she snapped into thug mode.

For the sake of this heist, Lita had been ready to play nice with the mutant. But her patience was wearing thin. The only language Dementia seemed to speak was violence and her love for Black Hat. And yes, there was no doubt Dementia would pulverize her if need be, but the threat was enough to get her attention.

"A-Alright, alrighty, kid," the lizard-girl said, pushing the cutter down with her finger. "No need to get all ghetto on me."

"Glad we have an understanding." Lita kept stern eye contact with her as she slid the cutter back into her belt pouch. "Now keep watch."

In the van, the men had been watching and listening to the confrontation in stunned silence. Black Hat found himself grinning in satisfaction by the time Lita had whipped out the blade. Flug had known of the woman's guts, of course, but it amazed him seeing someone—other than the boss—threaten Dementia into submission.

"Wow, that was hot," he found himself whispering.

" _What was that?_ " came Lita's voice through the headset.

"Eep!" He jumped in his chair. "Nothing! Forget I said anything!"

Black Hat raised an eyebrow at Flug. "What does temperature have to do with anything?"

It took a few seconds for the scientist to realize his boss was serious. "And, uh…by that I mean…she's, uh…hot- _tempered_. You know. Like, uh…she gets angry and…that's what I meant by hot! Not that she's, uh…you know…"

" _We can still hear ya, nerd_ ," said Dementia.

Flug facepalmed his bag. "Ugh, just kill me now." He glanced nervously at his boss. "Expression! Just an expression!"

He heard Lita's chuckle. " _You can talk about how hot I am later. I'm ready to go down._ "

"Oh, uh, right!" Flug straightened up and returned his gaze to the screen, seeing the bodycam's view of the gallery. "Now remember, go slow and—"

"Copy," Lita said, leaping through the opening in the skylight and ignoring Flug's squeals.

Well, this wasn't exactly her first time suspending from the ceiling.

Once her line had stopped swinging back and forth, Lita pressed the button on her belt to release more cord. As she slowly made her descent, she kept her free hand on the line while glancing down over her shoulder. As soon as her body was a foot above the laser grid, she stopped.

The green lasers guarding the diamond zigzagged in all directions, making it impossible for a person to slip their entire body straight through. Lita's eyes scanned over them as she planned her next move.

Flug was examining them too. "Okay. Judging by the seventy-degree angle of the laser nearest to you, the first move you should make is—"

He froze when he felt a cold, gloved hand on his shoulder.

"Now, now, Doctor," Black Hat said, leaning towards his ear. "Let the girl figure this part out for herself."

Meanwhile, Lita wasn't sure why Flug had stopped talking, but didn't mind. She needed quiet in order to concentrate anyway.

After half a minute, Lita finally moved. Grunting, she leaned back with her arms to her chest, taking great care not to brush her head through the lasers as she gripped her legs around the line. This was to steady her body as she curled up and unzipped her belt pouch. Before gravity could take effect, she took out the glass cutter and rezipped the pouch.

Then she carefully unfurled her body so that she was dangling vertically, her legs entwined above. After a quick reexamination of the grid, Lita took a deep breath and stretched out one arm. She weaved it under the nearest laser, then over the next. She used the hand gripping the cutter to press the belt button, lowering herself further. Her head then followed the path of her arm, ducking and tucking when necessary. Her torso came next and it came to a point where she was bending her body backward, her legs bending the grappling line along with them, so it wasn't going straight through the lasers.

Through the bodycam and through the skylight, the rest of the team watched as Lita weaved her way through the laser grid.

As this was his first time seeing her in action, Flug's mouth was agape beneath his bag.  _Holy science, she_ is _good!_

Up above, Dementia was groaning, trying not to look impressed.  _Okay, fine. So the chick's a human pretzel, I'll give her that._

Black Hat, of course, wasn't surprised in the least. Still, Lita's actions caused him to grin excitedly.  _This girl is worth_ so _much more than five hundred thousand pesos._

Once her hand touched the surface of the display case, Lita released some of the air she'd been holding. Now all she had to do was cut a hole in the glass, grab the diamond, and come back up, all without touching the lasers.

Yeah. Everything up until now had been the easy part.

Steadying herself, Lita lowered her other hand and began cutting through the glass. She did this slowly, as she had to stay frozen in this awkward position at the same time. If not for the stickiness in her glove, her hand would be slipping right now.

Her heart was pounding from the adrenaline coursing through her veins. To think, she'd gotten this far without triggering the alarm! She felt like a child again, stealing valuable items from right under people's noses. She couldn't help the smile forming on her masked face.

She had just lifted the small square from the case when through her earpiece came an, " _Uh-oh_."

Tensing, Lita whispered, "What do you mean 'uh-oh,' Flug?"

" _D-D-Don't panic, but…there's a guard headed your way!_ "

Biting back a gasp, she flicked her gaze towards the large doorway. Fortunately, it wasn't in direct view of the diamond, but the moment someone walked through, she'd be spotted for sure.

"How far away are they?" she said, lowering her voice more.

" _T-Two galleries! He'll be there in less than a minute!_ "

_Shoot, that doesn't give me much time!_

" _You gotta get outta there, Lita!_ "

"But I've almost got it!"

" _If he sees you, it's over! You gotta get outta there_ now _!_ "

It took all her willpower to keep her panic at bay. Lita glanced around, analyzing her predicament. Given her position, there was no way she could crawl out of there in less than a minute without touching the lasers. Even if the lasers weren't there, her grappling line wouldn't move fast enough. She couldn't climb that fast either. The ceiling was too high! And the walls were too far away, so she couldn't swing over there!

She glanced down at the diamond through the opening she'd made. It was so close, but she'd have to bend lower to reach it, and the lasers were too close for her to risk that. Even if she gave up on the diamond, she couldn't get out of there fast enough!

" _Hurry! He's in the next room!_ "

Then she realized there was only one thing to do.

"Dementia," Lita whispered. "Listen carefully. On the count of three, pull me up as fast as you can."

" _What?_ " Dementia's voice said in her ear. " _But you haven't got the diamond yet!_ "

"Just do it, okay! I have an idea!"

Confused, but knowing that her honeybun was watching, Dementia gripped the grappling line.

"Okay," Lita said, glancing quickly at the approaching flashlight beam. "One."

As Dementia readied herself, Lita slid the cutter between her fingers on the glass, and then flexed the fingers of her now free hand.

"Two," she said, eyeing the diamond.

Flug was freaking out. " _Lita, what are you—?_ "

"Three!" she cried, lunging forward.

The next few seconds went by too fast for anyone to process. The bodycam was facing away from the glass case, so the men couldn't tell what was happening, only that Lita was suddenly moving upwards.

An alarm blared throughout the museum.

" _Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!_ " came Flug's panicked voice.

"Hey!" a voice called from the next gallery. "Who's there?!"

Flipping herself upright, Lita gripped the line and tried speeding things up by pressing the button to pull it back into her belt. To avoid accidentally cutting herself, she slid the glass cutter back into her pouch. Dementia squealed as soon as the alarm went off, but she kept on pulling, her foot pressing against the rail for support. Thankfully, she was really strong.

By the time the guard rushed in, Lita was two feet away from the skylight. "Hey! Stop!"

Figuring he was going for his gun, Lita hastily climbed up the rest of the way and grabbed Dementia's reaching hand.

"Come on, kid," Dementia cried, hoisting her up, "let's hightail it outta here!"

Lita didn't object as she was thrown over the mutant's shoulder. She quickly reeled the rest of the line in as Dementia ran and jumped over to the next roof. It seemed she'd finally gotten a grip on the sincerity of the situation. Dementia was crazy, yes, but not crazy enough to get caught by the fuzz!

She was about to jump to the next roof when the screech of a van caught her attention. Flug had made their getaway faster by driving into the very next alleyway. Lita tried not to cry out as Dementia leaped off the roof and landed atop the van, miraculously without crushing her ankles.

"Get in!" Black Hat shouted as the back doors were thrown open.

Like an ape, Dementia swung inside and Lita tumbled out of her hold, landing at her boss' feet.

"Flug, drive!" Black Hat yelled, using his tendrils to shut the door.

The scientist's foot slammed on the gas pedal and the van skidded out of the alley. Already, there were sirens intermingling with the sound of the museum's alarm. It wasn't until the sounds had drowned out behind them that the man at the wheel ceased his hyperventilating.

"I-I think we lost them, sir."

"Good," Black Hat said, turning to Lita, who was attempting to sit up. "Now that  _that_  problem's out of the way…"

Lita cried out as a tentacle latched itself around her waist and hoisted her up to meet her boss' glaring, glowing-red eye.

"WHAT IN THE NINE CIRCLES OF HELL WERE YOU  _THINKING_?!" he bellowed, his voice becoming more and more demonic by the second. "SETTING OFF THE ALARM LIKE THAT?! DID YOU  _WANT_  TO GET CAUGHT, YOU IMBECILE?!"

She should've been terrified. Terrified that his tendril was threatening to suffocate her, that he was growing in size, that his claws were getting longer and pointier. Any sane person  _would_ be terrified. Flug himself was trembling in the driver's seat, resisting the urge to tear his eyes from the road and look back. Even Dementia was shivering in the corner of the van, her love for the demon apparently not enough to dispel her fear.

Instead, Lita was angry.  _Really_  angry. She really didn't appreciate being called an imbecile, especially after what she'd just gone through!

With a defiant scowl, she snapped, "I  _had_  to! It was the only way I could—"

"AND NOT ONLY DID YOU TRIGGER THE ALARM, BUT YOU FAILED TO GET THE DIAMOND!"

"Now wait a minute! I didn't—"

"AFTER WEEKS OF BEGGING FOR A JOB, WHEN I FINALLY GIVE YOU ONE, YOU  _FAIL MISERABLY_?! I HAD THOUGHT YOU MORE COMPETENT! AND THIS  _MEDIOCRE PERFORMANCE_ IS WHAT I—?!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND AND LET ME TALK?!"

Flug stiffened while Dementia covered her mouth, both of them shocked that Lita had yelled  _back_  at their boss! Black Hat was shocked too. And furious.

" _WHAT_?!" he shouted through his now much longer teeth.

Without breaking eye contact, Lita reached into the front of her suit and pulled out something small.

"Here's your fucking diamond," she grumbled as she tossed it to him.

Black Hat's eye widened and as he caught the diamond in his hand. Astonished, Flug glanced at the rearview mirror in time to see Black Hat shrink back to his normal form, his tendril releasing Lita. Dementia's jaw dropped as her eyes flickered between Lita and the diamond in Black Hat's hand.

"H-How?" the mutant stammered. "When?"

"I realized that even if I hadn't grabbed the diamond," Lita explained, pulling off her goggles and mask, "I couldn't get out of the laser grid before the guard arrived, and I couldn't get up quickly without passing through the lasers. So, it was either trigger the alarm and get out of there, or not trigger the alarm and let the guard see me. Yes, he saw me, but at least this way I was able to escape with the diamond, which I'd snatched the second I told Dementia to pull me up."

Still angry from being yelled at, Lita crossed her arms. "You're welcome."

Everyone stared at her for a long while. Flug watched the rearview mirror, worried about how their boss was going to react. Was he going to congratulate her or maim her? On one hand, she'd gotten the diamond. On the other hand, she'd acted defiantly. And had nearly cost them the heist.

Honestly, it was a toss-up.

Dementia was the one to break the tense silence. "Huh. Not bad, kid."

"Indeed," Black Hat said, a grin forming as he turned the diamond over in his hand. "Not bad at all."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait. I had a ton of video-editing work to do for BronyCon, which is in a couple of weeks, and I was writing a play that had to be finished in time for a contest. Well, play is done and BronyCon vids are near completion, so I was able to come back to this.
> 
> Though business aside, this was still a hard chapter to write. The release of the pilot episode certainly helped in giving me an idea of how the team worked together on missions.
> 
> That first scene was for you "Once Upon a Time" fans.
> 
> Sheesh. Never thought a robbery scene would be so hard to write! I didn't want to make it look too easy for Lita, as I didn't want her to end up a Mary-Sue. And then there were the little details concerning the technology and the lasers...oh boy.
> 
> So, with all the theories concerning Flug's sexuality, I liked the idea of him being pansexual the best. And before you think it, no. No love triangle is being set up here. As my pansexual friend has described, finding someone attractive doesn't necessarily mean you have romantic intentions.


	17. Once a Thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita is rewarded for her success.

Upon returning to the manor, the four of them gathered in the den, which mostly consisted of Black Hat's easy chair and a fireplace. And, of course, several full-sized portraits of himself. The fireplace was unusual, as it was crafted like an open fanged mouth, and the flames roaring inside were green. From a cabinet, Black Hat found a glass cylindrical dome and placed the Black Diamond of Bombay inside.

"Tonight was a success," he said, setting the diamond on the mantel. "Which means," his head whipped around to reveal his maniacal grin, "you three idiots get to live another day."

"W-W-Was our pleasure, sir!" Flug said with a salute.

"Anything for you, love!" Dementia said, pulling a bottle of perfume out from her hair.

Flug sent Lita a look. It took her a second to catch on.

"Oh, uh," she said, saluting too. "Just…doing our jobs, sir."

"Stop sniveling and go to bed," Black Hat groaned, turning his head back towards the fireplace. "You all have  _more_  work in the morning."

"O-Of course, sir!" Flug said, already on his way out. "Good night!"

"Sweet dreams, darling," Dementia said with a wave.

Black Had didn't respond to either of them.

"Hey," Dementia said, elbowing Lita as they walked towards the door. "Nice job tonight, kid. You really had me going there when you set that alarm off."

"Err, thanks," Lita said, surprised she was actually getting a compliment from Dementia. "You…you did a good job too. I wouldn't have gotten out of there fast enough without you."

Dementia's smile dropped as she cocked her head at her.

"What?" Lita said.

"N-Nothing, just…you're…welcome?"

The mutant seemed to not have expected a compliment either.

"Not you," Black Hat said, without turning around, "Miss Gris."

Lita stopped dead in her tracks. Had she done something wrong? She glanced at Flug and Dementia, who seemed equally confused.

"I have a few more matters to discuss with you," Black Hat said, going over to the wine cabinet in the corner of the room.

Dementia now had her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes narrowed in suspicion, while Flug appeared nervous. Lita didn't see what the boss was doing, so she was still confused.

"Dementia! Flug!"

The latter jumped while the former perked up in excitement. Black Hat's back was to them as he opened up the cabinet.

"I said you could go," he growled.

"Y-Yes, sir!" Flug squeaked, darting out the door.

"Roger wilco!" Dementia said, saluting before she zipped off.

The door shut, leaving Lita alone with Black Hat once again. Based on her associates' reactions, she sensed the boss was up to something. They knew something that she didn't.

Well, she'd survived being alone with him before. And she'd done what he'd asked. She had nothing to fear. Right?

Unless he was  _still_  angry about her almost getting caught. Or that she'd yelled at him.

No. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of scaring her. So, taking a deep breath, she turned to face him. When she did, he had two wine glasses in his hands, one filled with a bubbling purple liquid, the other with a transparent red liquid.

"Do you drink, Miss Gris?" Black Hat asked with a grin.

"Occasionally," she replied, glancing at the glasses unsurely. "I'm sorry, what's going on?"

"Your first assignment was a success," he said, holding the red liquid out to her. "I believe it calls for a little celebratory drink."

She didn't take the glass right away. "How do I know it's not poisoned?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "Have you given me a reason to want to poison you?"

Crossing her arms, she retorted, "Do you  _need_  a reason?"

Black Hat chuckled. "Fair point."

A black tentacle suddenly tapped her elbow. She unfolded her arms out of reflex. Then the tentacle took her hand—she'd taken her gloves off back in the van—and held it out as Black Hat placed the glass into it, the tentacle closing her fingers around the stem.

"You're just going to have to trust me," he said, stepping back and retracting his tendril and hand.

Lita huffed. "How am I supposed to trust a villain?"

He grinned further. "You're learning."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"You really think I'd poison my employee after a job well done?" Black Hat said, shaking his head. "No, that would be a waste. Good help is hard enough to find these days."

She tilted her head. "You're not mad that I triggered the alarm?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "You found yourself in a predicament and had to think up a solution on the fly. It was a risky move, yes. But the important thing is you acquired what I needed, and so far, no one knows our organization was responsible for the theft."

He clinked his glass with hers, making sure his teeth were showing as he locked gaze with her. "Cheers."

As he brought his drink to his lips, smoke started coming out of it. Then she glanced down at her own drink. It  _looked_  like ordinary wine, but that didn't mean anything.

It was true. He had no reason to poison her. Except for fun. And why have a drink with just her? It was a group effort. Why not invite Flug and Dementia?

Then she remembered Flug's nervousness. Did he think the boss meant to poison her too?

Black Hat was watching her expectantly. He'd made himself comfortable by leaning against the fireplace.

"It's vintage," he said. "Barbera, 1890."

"As old as you then," Lita said before she could help herself.

He smirked. "Truly, it's flattering how young I look to you."

She'd been joking.

"You know what?" she said, raising her glass. "Screw it."

She gulped the wine down. The rich taste made her eyes widen.

"Wow," she whispered, gazing at the glass.

"See?" Black Hat said, taking another sip. "They don't make them like that anymore."

He patted the spot beside him on the mantel. Since Lita wasn't convulsing or gagging, she felt relaxed enough to walk up to his side.

"Tell me, Miss Gris," Black Hat said, using his tentacle to top her glass off. "How did it feel?"

Lita sipped slowly this time. "A bit richer than what I'm used to, but—"

"Not the wine! I meant," he said, leaning forward, "how did it feel to steal again?"

She stiffened as he moved closer, his face now inches from hers.

"How did it feel," he growled teasingly, "when you outsmarted that laser grid," she looked down as his free hand grabbed hers, "when you achieved the impossible," he squeezed her hand tight, but not enough to hurt her, "when you held the…unattainable item in your grasp? How did it feel? Knowing that you'd attained the unattainable?"

After a few seconds of silence, she murmured her answer.

"What was that?" Black Hat asked, leaning in further.

This time, she met his eye and spoke firmly. "I loved it."

His grin was now so wide, she could see the gums of his teeth.

"I thought so. Once a thief," he said, releasing her hand, "always a thief."

Once he'd taken a step back, Lita glanced down at her glass, her finger tracing the rim. "I'd…forgotten…what it felt like. That…that rush when…those lasers…I did that. And I…I got it. It was impossible, but I…I did it."

"To become a great villain," Black Hat said, setting his empty glass on the mantel, "one must take pleasure in their work." He folded his hands behind his back. "And yet, despite being out of the game for so long, you took to it like fish to water. Why you stopped thieving in the first place is beyond me."

Frowning, Lita placed her unfinished drink on the mantel. Black Hat watched this action curiously.

"Why  _did_  you stop thieving, Miss Gris?"

She met his gaze again. "You really wanna know?"

He leaned his elbow onto the mantelpiece. "I'm all ears."

"You don't have any ears."

He scoffed. "As far as you know."

She'd never really told anyone why she'd stopped. Not even her father. And yet, Black Hat was probably was most likely to understand. But she wasn't entirely comfortable with sharing something so personal with her boss. Never mind that he literally owned her soul.

"I'll make you a deal," she said, leaning her own elbow onto the mantel. "I answer your question, you answer one of mine."

He glanced at her elbow, which matched the position of his. Honestly, he had gotten used to her constant mimicry of his movements. He'd concluded it was her subtle way of being bold without outright defying him, despite the fact that he'd noticed.

It was almost…endearing.

"Very well," Black Hat said. "What's your question?"

There was one thing she'd been dying to know since before she'd even come here. "Why do you do it? This business, I mean. It can't be for the money. What could you possibly need it for if you have the ability to steal everything?"

"A fair question," Black Hat said, leaning his head onto his wrist. "Money is a symbol of achievement. One who earns money through their own skill and merit, whatever those may be, proves they've accomplished something. Through that accomplishment, they gain recognition. And through that recognition, they gain power. The act of stealing is effective, but all too easy. Anyone can do it. Not to mention it draws attention. So, these days, I only turn to it when necessary."

Genuinely interested, Lita rested her head onto her own wrist. "Like when obtaining priceless artifacts you can't buy with money?"

Their gazes simultaneously flicked towards the encased diamond between them.

"Exactly." He snickered. "Money also comes in handy when it comes to…political donations."

Her eyes widened. "Bribes?"

"Why do you think I've never been incarcerated?"

"I don't know. Because you're…well,  _you_?"

"True. But that doesn't mean people haven't  _tried_  imprisoning me with the use of advanced technology and magical spells. I just make sure the government funding for  _that_  department goes…elsewhere.

"There's also the consideration of my property. If I had simply stolen it, it would give the more determined government officials and heroes another reason to come after me. If I legally own the land, they can't kick me off it." He chuckled. "But  _I_  can kick  _them_ off for trespassing."

She shook her head. "You make evildoing sound so…practical."

He shrugged. "Business is business, evil or not. Oh, but that's right." He took his elbow off the mantel and brought his fist to his chest. "You don't believe in evil, do you?"

"If anything," Lita said, doing the same, "I believe in it even less now."

With a shake of his head, he said, "You truly are a puzzle, my dear. Now." He stepped towards her. "Perhaps you can fill in one of the pieces, and tell me why you stopped stealing."

Right. She knew this was coming. Surprisingly though, his revelation had eased some of her tension. He was a villain.  _The_ villain. Who was he to judge?

"Full disclosure, then?" she said, returning her elbow to the mantelpiece. "Remember how I said people do things not because they're good or evil, but because they're selfish or selfless?"

"Indeed."

"Well…" She played with her ponytail as she mulled over her words. "It's complicated."

He decided to turn the tables and copy her position. "Go on."

She sighed. "I got caught."

"Doesn't sound complicated to me," Black Hat said. "You feared returning to prison."

Lita shook her head. "It was more than that. I would've been in juvie much longer if Papi hadn't bailed me out." She dropped her forehead into her hand. "He had to mortgage the house, sell the car, all because I'd goofed."

Black Hat watched as she ran her hand through her hair. _Interesting_ , he thought.  _I don't think I've ever seen her this distressed. Not since she sold her soul to me, of course._

And to think the reason had nothing to do with him.

"I realized," she said with an exasperated sigh, "that if I got caught again, Papi couldn't afford to bail me out again. And he'd be alone."

She wasn't looking at him, but Black Hat was no longer grinning. "So, it wasn't for any moral reason?"

"If you count caring for my father as moral." She rested her cheek onto her fist. "I started thieving to help him, I stopped thieving to help him. I…didn't want to, though." The rest she said under her breath. "I didn't wanna be selfish."

Silence fell. Lita kept her gaze on the wall while Black Hat watched her. Once again, she had surprised him and said something he hadn't expected. But he understood her a little better now.

As a child, she'd been trained to commit evil deeds, but not for herself. Not because she wanted to hurt anyone. And yet, she'd taken pleasure in it. That was something he could relate to. But then, with the same inclination to help someone she cared about, she had stopped doing the evil thing she loved.

No wonder her moral code was so askew. No wonder she wasn't so easily phased by his evil presence. To her, there was no good or evil, so why should she fear him?

And she, herself, clearly didn't fall neatly into one of those categories, as she'd had a taste of both.

A single tear slid down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, but he'd already seen it. Great. Now what should he do? He was used to tears, but not those caused by something that wasn't him. Should he scold her for her vulnerability? Should he tease her? Should he…say something?

"T-Thanks for the drink, boss," Lita said, dusting off the front of her suit. "If, um…that's all you wanted, I'll just…night."

She headed for the door.

"Wait."

Halting immediately, she turned back. The expression on Black Hat's face was…unusual. His usual grin was gone, and he was staring at the floor.

"I-If," he said, clearing his throat, "if you wish to…that is, if you keep it  _brief_  and  _discreet_ …call your father…"

Her eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "Are…are you serious?"

Straightening up, he narrowed his eyes into a scowl. "But don't forget we've tapped your phone! So if you even try asking him for help, or give him any sensitive information regarding the organization or your work here, I may just change my mind!"

Then she surprised him once again.

Before he could blink, her body crashed into his, her arms constricting around him. If he actually needed to use his lungs, he'd be suffocating right now.

"Thank you, boss!" Lita shouted, tears falling—this time, from happiness. "Thank you, thank you,  _thank you_!"

"GET OFF ME,  _NOW_!" Black Hat shouted, loud enough to knock the wine glasses off the mantelpiece.

"Sorry," she said, pulling away.

"No," he growled, pointing a furious finger at her. "Hugging.  _Ever_."

"Okay." She was still grinning from ear to ear. "Just thank you. If there's any way I can—"

" _Leave_."

"Right." Deciding it was best not to overstay her welcome, she ran to the door. "Night, boss!"

As she opened the door, she heard two startled cries. Stepping out into the hallway, she found Flug and Dementia on the floor, beside the door.

"Were you guys eavesdropping?" Lita asked, shutting the door.

"Oh, good, you're alive!" Flug exclaimed, leaping to his feet.

Dementia scowled as she stood up. "And just  _what_  were you doing in there with the boss, exactly?"

Lita concluded they hadn't heard much through the door. "Oh. He just offered me a drink."

Without warning, Flug grabbed her arm and pressed two fingers against her wrist. "Pulse is steady, good." He looked up at her face. "No skin discoloration." She grunted in her throat as he pulled her jaw open. "Tongue is a normal color. Any feelings of nausea?"

"He didn't poison me, Flug!" Lita said, shoving him away.

He still looked worried. "It could be slow-acting!"

"I'm  _fine_! It was just a drink!"

"And  _then_  what?" Dementia said, her face coming up to hers so Lita wouldn't miss her suspicious look. "You were in there an awful long time for just  _one drink_!"

"Ugh, for the last time," Lita said, pushing her chest, "there's nothing going on between me and Black Hat! We drank, we talked, that's it! Good night!"

She tried walking past them when Flug stepped in front of her. "Then why do you look like you've been crying?"

Having forgotten about the tears, Lita attempted in vain to wipe the stains away.

"Lita," Flug said slowly, "if he hurt you—"

"What? No! He didn't…" She sighed. "Look. It's been a long night. And if you don't mind, I'd like to get out of this sticky outfit and get to bed."

She could still feel their stares on her back as she walked away. She didn't mind, as long as they didn't see her face, and the smile that had returned to it.

* * *

Minutes after Lita had left, Black Hat still stood there, stiff as a pole, fuming in fury. How  _dare_  that girl hug him? Hug  _HIM_?! The only ones ever to do that were 5.0.5.—that'd been once when he was first created—and Dementia.

But this wasn't a newborn genetic creation, or a demented lovesick one. This was a human being who knew what he was, what he was capable of, how much he disliked any signs of affection. And yet she'd had the gall to  _hug him_?! Why?

But he knew why. He'd done something… _nice_. What had possessed him to do such a thing? Was it the tear he saw on her cheek? Yes, that was it. He just didn't want to have to deal with her pathetic crying. It wasn't that he cared.

He should've done more than yell at her for that hug. Ripped out her insides like he'd done with that malfunctioning Hatbot last Christmas. No, too much. She wouldn't be able to steal if her insides were ripped out.

But it was late. He would come up with a suitable punishment in the morning.

"Now," he murmured, taking the diamond off the mantel and examining it in his hand. "What the hell should I do with this thing?"

There'd been no client, you see. Black Hat had just been eager to see what his little thief was truly made of.

And boy, was he ever satisfied with the result!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd had this chapter in mind from the very beginning, and had already had most of it written out. It's short, but it's one of my favorite pre-planned moments.
> 
> Enjoy the fluff while it lasts!


	18. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Black Hat finally loses his patience with Lita.
> 
> WARNING! In this chapter, Black Hat's more...sadistic side comes into play. It's not graphic, but it's pretty...intense.
> 
> I am so, SO sorry!

 

"Stay calm, and no one gets hurt," the masked man said, pointing his pistol at the terrified store clerk.

"W-We don't got much cash,  _s-señor_ ," said the clerk, a Hispanic boy of about seventeen. "S-Someone else robbed us just an hour ago."

"That's fine," the robber said. "Just get me some milk, eggs, banana juice—"

"B-Banana juice?" the boy said in surprise.

"It's my daughter's favorite!" He paused. "I like it too. Anyway, I also need bread and…"

He trailed off as his cell phone vibrated in his gray hoodie pocket, playing the ringtone of Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger." Gasping, the robber glanced down at his pocket.

"It can't be…" he whispered.

"Um…w-will that be all,  _señor_?"

The gunman looked conflicted for a moment. "You know what?" He dug into his pocket and took out a crumpled piece of paper. "Just get all the items on this list while I take this call and no one gets hurt."

" _S-Sí, señor_!" the clerk said as he held out his hand for the paper.

As soon as the list fell into his hand, he grabbed a cloth shopping bag and rushed to retrieve the requested items. All while keeping his eye on the boy, the robber fished out his cell and answered it.

" _Mija_?" he said in a disbelieving tone. "Is that you?"

" _Papi!_ " came Lita's voice from the other end. " _Yes, it's me!_ "

Ricardo sighed in relief. "Oh, my  _princesa_! I was so worried I'd never hear your voice again!"

" _The boss said I could call you after I did a job for him last night._ "

"Job? So, he really has you stealing again?"

" _Y-Yes_ ," she said in a hesitant tone. " _I'm afraid I'm not allowed to tell you exactly_  what _I stole, though. Oh, you should know they've tapped my phone, by the way, so this isn't exactly a private conversation_."

"I see." He paused to make sure the boy was gathering the groceries. "You sound alright, but… _are_  you?"

" _I'm fine, Papi. And I'm not just saying that because you-know-who might be listening right now. Despite the fact that I'm not allowed to leave without his permission, I'm pretty well taken care of here. Got my own room, got food, even a few friends. Oops. Boss doesn't like the F-word._ "

"But what about," Ricardo lowered his voice, " _him_? He hasn't… _hurt_  you, has he?"

" _No, Papi. He hasn't._ "Lita scoffed. " _I mean he got a few lucky shots during our sparring matches, but other than that, he's barely touched me._ "

He let out another relieved sigh. "That's good to hear."

" _But what about_ you _? How are you getting along without me?_ "

"Oh, I'm…managing." He glanced at the gun in his hand. "You actually caught me in the middle of a robbery."

" _Robbery?! Papi, get off the phone! They'll think you're calling the police!_ "

" _Mija_ ," he said with a chuckle. " _I'm_  the robber!"

" _You?_ " she said in astonishment. " _But…you almost_ never _steal in the daylight!_ "

"Yeah, well, that was before I threw my back out trying to do a backflip," he said, rubbing his spine. "No more stealth jobs for me."

" _Well, I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. I'll, uh, let you get back to work. But I'll call you later, okay?_ "

"I hope you do. I still have many questions."

" _Me too. Love you, Papi._ "

"Love you,  _mija_."

Once he'd hung up, the boy returned with a bag full of groceries.

"Sorry about that," Ricardo said, casually sliding his cell back into his pocket. "My daughter. Couldn't wait."

"O-Oh I get it,  _señor_!" the clerk said, shakily holding up the bag. "H-Have a nice day!"

* * *

 

As she sat on her bed, Lita was sad her long-awaited conversation with her father had been cut short, but it still made her feel better to hear his voice again. Once she'd hung up, she checked the time, seeing it was almost ten. It was just as well the call had ended, as she was due in the lab for a commercial filming.

So far, Lita had yet to be in the commercials. Black Hat had only let her observe quietly behind the Cam-Bot. He'd said she wasn't ready to be presented to the public as his minion yet. Not that Lita really minded. She'd never really been interested in fame, anyway. Or in this case, infamy.

When the airlock doors to the lab opened up, she was attacked with a huge hug from 5.0.5.

"Well,  _buenos días_  to you too,  _Pachoncito_ ," Lita said as she tried to return his tight hug. "What's gotten  _you_  so excited?"

She heard a clearing of the throat that could only belong to their boss. With a small whine, 5.0.5. put Lita down and stepped away. Black Hat stood beside the Cam-Bot and seemed to be holding something behind his back. Flug stood next to the table holding the disintegration ray they were launching today. He was certainly nervous about something, as sweat was dripping down his bag. There was no sign of Dementia. She either didn't care to show up or Black Hat did not want her interrupting this commercial like usual.

"Oh," Flug said, picking up the ray to polish it. "5.0.5.'s just excited that you're going to be in today's commercial."

"Really?" Lita turned to the boss in surprise.

"Indeed," Black Hat said with a nod. "After last night's performance, I think it's high time my followers were introduced to my latest minion."

"Uh…okay. I've, uh…never been in a commercial before. What do I do?"

"Oh, not much." Flug chuckled awkwardly. "You just have to, uh…"

"Firstly," Black Hat said, stepping towards her, "you'll have to change out of that dull attire."

Lita glanced down at her yellow t-shirt and black jeans. She didn't think the outfit looked bad, but it definitely didn't fit in with this villainous crew.

"Fair enough," she said. "Should I…get the stealth suit or—?"

"Oh," the boss said with a grin, "I have something…better in mind."

He then pulled out a hanger from behind his back. What it carried made Lita gawk.

Before her was a black leotard with puffed shoulder-length sleeves. The low neckline was laced with red, a black bowtie in the center. Around it was a red tulle skirt that was so short, it might as well be called a belt. But that wasn't all. Draped over the hanger was a pair of red fishnet stockings.

"Oh," Black Hat said, bringing his other hand around. "Almost forgot."

He held up a pair of black high heels and a headband with a small, black hat on top.

"Is…" She looked blankly at her boss. "Is this a joke?"

Flug facepalmed his bag. "I told you she wouldn't like it, sir."

Ignoring the scientist, Black Hat replied, "I can assure you, Miss Gris, that I am quite serious. Oh, that reminds me. From now on, your villain name is Lita Ladrona."

She blinked up at him. "Since when?"

"Since I decided last night. Now, put these on."

She didn't mind the name.  _Ladrona_  was the Spanish term for a female thief, and the alliteration with her nickname rolled off the tongue pretty well. And it had a more threatening sound, like Black Hat had wanted, even if it was a bit too literal.

This skimpy outfit, however? This was where she drew the line.

"Nah-uh," she said, holding up a finger. " _¡_ _Porque no!_ There is no way in  _Hell_  I'm wearing that thing!"

She expected him to yell. Instead, he looked over to the scientist and calmly said, "Flug, please explain to Miss Ladrona why she must wear this?"

"Um, uh," Flug said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking like he didn't want to be involved in this conversation. "Well, uh…it's to appeal to our…adult male audience?"

"Right," Lita said, crossing her arms as she looked back at her boss. "And this has nothing to do with the fact that you're a pervert?"

"Honestly, my dear," Black Hat said, rolling his eye, "you could be stark naked, and I wouldn't care."

"Then how come you never make Dementia wear stuff like this?"

He moved the hanger towards her. "Remember your contract, Miss Ladrona."

Still not quite used to the new name, Lita shook her head. "I'll look like a whore."

"So?" he said bluntly.

She pointed to the hat headband. "I'll look like  _your_  whore."

He cocked an eyebrow, not seeming to catch her meaning.

"Oh, come on," she said with an exasperated sigh. "If people see me dressed up as a slutty version of you, they're gonna think we're…you know.  _Involved._  Don't you think that'll tarnish your reputation as a heartless villain who wants nothing to do with anything remotely involving romance or sex?"

Black Hat paused, as if to think about it. "Some viewers might get that impression, yes."

She looked at him hopefully. "So…you won't make me wear it?"

"Oh no, you're still wearing it."

Lita scoffed. " _Why_?"

"Because I know it'll make you uncomfortable." He smirked as he leaned forward. "Consider it punishment for last night."

She stared at him incredulously. "Last night? What…what part of last night?"

Was it for triggering the alarm? Was it for talking back to him? She thought he'd been okay with that.

Then, with his face an inch from hers, his voice became more growly. "You know  _exactly_  what you did. And if you ever do it again, remember that there are  _worse_  things than being forced to wear immodest attire!"

Then she remembered something else that had angered him last night.

"Wait," she said in bewilderment. "Is this about the hu—?"

"PUT THIS ON BEFORE I PUT  _YOUR_  SKIN ON THIS HANGER!" he bellowed in his demonic voice.

"Okay, okay!" she said, grabbing the hanger and accessories. "But don't go blaming me when people start shipping us!"

He cocked his head as she went over to the decontamination chamber to change.

"What do you mean they'd start 'shipping' us?" he said in confusion. "Who would dare put me in a box and ship me off to someplace?"

Lita groaned from behind the curtain. "You wanna explain it to him, Flug?"

"Nope!" Flug squeaked. "I had nothing to do with this decision, and am not gonna lend my opinion, nope!"

The dress looked even sluttier on her body. The neckline was so low, her cleavage was there for all the world to see. The tutu was so short, the fishnet stockings were the only things covering her legs, and all that did was make them look skinny. Though maybe people would be too busy noticing the fact that she hadn't shaved her legs in years—she didn't see much point in spending extra pesos on shaving cream when there was no one she was trying to impress—than them being so exposed. Not to mention her armpit hair was now plenty more visible.

And, as she'd predicted, with the red and black pattern, and the black hat headband, she looked like a slutty female version of her boss.

The only upside was that the high heels made her look taller. Too bad it'd been so long since she'd worn heels that she nearly tripped while pulling back the curtain.

Flug gasped upon seeing Lita step out in the costume. "Oh my—"

"Don't," she said through her teeth, holding up a warning hand, "speak."

She noticed her boss' blank expression, his eye racking up her body. Self-consciously, she covered her cleavage with her hand.

"Well," he said in a neutral tone, "it doesn't exactly spell  _evil_ , but it's better than the  _Señorita Inocente_  look you were sporting earlier." He waved his hand. "5.0.5. put some makeup on her."

The bear moaned excitedly as he came at Lita with a makeup box.

 _Of course, the bear does makeup_ , she thought as she was suddenly attacked with a powderpuff.

Five minutes later—he worked fast—5.0.5. proudly held up a mirror so Lita could see the results. Thankfully, he didn't put too much on. Her face and neck were lightly powdered, her eyebrows had been made smoother and darker, and her eyes had been subtly outlined with some eyeliner and purple eyeshadow. The lipstick he'd chosen was a light brown, so it blended in with her skin but still made her lips noticeable.

Lita didn't usually wear makeup—too expensive—but she had to admit, it didn't look that bad. At least it didn't make her look more like a hooker.

"Thanks, bear," Lita said.

5.0.5. responded with a chipper, " _Mrow_."

"Yes, yes, now come," Black Hat said, walking up to her side. "We've wasted enough time already."

She flinched as he touched her back and guided her over to the Cam-Bot. She'd gotten used to his cold touch by now, but in  _this_  outfit, when there was barely anything covering her skin, it was absolutely  _freezing_.

"You were the one who insisted on the outfit and makeup, boss," Lita grumbled.

Ignoring her, he placed her in front of the Cam-Bot. "Your role is simple. All you have to do is stand there and look pretty."

She scowled at the mocking tone as he said that last part.

"And of course," he said, tucking a stray hair behind her ear, "shoot the disintegration ray at those rabbits."

Her scowl turned into a look of shock. "Wait, what?"

"Don't worry, it's very simple," Flug said, showing her the gun. "All you have to do is point and pull the trigger here."

Lita bit her lip as the weapon was placed in her hands. It didn't look threatening. With its bright orange color, it could easily be mistaken for a child's toy.

"The rabbits are in a cage under that sheet over there," Flug said, pointing to the table on the other side of the room. He leaned forward to whisper, "Don't worry. They're old."

That didn't make Lita feel any better. She'd never really killed anything before. Except maybe the occasional fly or mosquito. And it was a different crime from stealing. At least when you stole, you could always return the item, or its original owner could replace it themselves. Killing was permanent. There was no going back from it.

But that wasn't the main reason she was nervous. Rabbits didn't have particularly long lifespans. And if they were in this evil lab, they probably wouldn't last much longer anyway. And there were more painful ways to go than to be spontaneously zapped into disintegrated particles, so this was more of a mercy killing. There were many ways to rationalize this concern.

Except for the fact that Lita had no idea how to shoot.

"W-Why do I have to shoot it?" she asked in a small voice.

"Because I said so," Black Hat said gruffly.

"It's to appeal to our female demographic," Flug said calmly. "To show that villainesses can use our evil products too."

Lita raised an eyebrow. "So…you're appealing to your feminist," she said, glancing down at her outfit, " _and_  misogynist viewers…at the same time?"

Laughing awkwardly, Flug shrugged. "That's advertising for you."

"If there are no more  _complaints_ ," Black Hat said, his eye directly on the woman, "we will begin in one minute."

"Yeah, um, sir?" Lita said.

The demon groaned. " _Now_  what?"

"Um," she said, turning the weapon over in her hand. "About…about shooting those rabbits…"

His face was in hers, his eye glowing dangerously red. "I  _don't_  want to hear about  _any_ pathetic moral dilemmas that you may be mulling over right now! You are working for the greatest villain in the multiverse! If you can't so much as disintegrate a few puny  _rabbits_ , then maybe you aren't fit to be a part of my organization!"

"But boss—"

Grabbing her arm, he pulled her closer. "And if I can't find any use for you as a  _minion_ , Miss Ladrona," his eye flicked towards the covered cage, "perhaps  _you_  should be the one in that cage!"

"I get the picture! But you should know that—"

"IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU BEFORE THIS COMMERCIAL IS THROUGH,  _I'LL_  BE THE ONE SHOOTING THAT RAY AT  _YOU_!"

Lita shut her mouth and nodded. Grunting in satisfaction, Black Hat released her.

"Now smile, will you?" he said in a mock-encouraging tone. "You're about to be on camera!"

Without speaking, Lita put on her customer service smile. Slightly exaggerated, but small enough to look sincere.

"Better," he said. "Now, once more. Say nothing. And when Flug takes the sheet off the cage, you just smile, point, and shoot."

Not wanting to push her luck, she nodded silently. As Black Hat turned his back to her, she glanced nervously at the gun in her hand.

_Guess he'll find out the hard way._

"Livestream's ready, sir," Flug said from his laptop. "We've got over two thousand people in the chat already!"

"Good," Black Hat said, straightening out his tie. "Remember. 49.99 in American dollars, 948.29 in Mexican pesos. Plus shipping and handling."

"Right, sir," Flug said, readying himself beside the covered cage.

The demon stood directly in front of the Cam-Bot, a grin on his face, one hand behind his back and the other on his chest in a gentlemanly pose. One thing Lita had noticed in observing the commercials was that her boss was a natural in front of the camera. Wasn't surprising with his overly inflated ego.

"Alright, Cam-Bot," Flug said, holding up three fingers. "We're live in three…two…action!"

The red light blinked under the Cam-Bot's beret. Lita stopped fumbling with the ray and held it up in two hands like one of Charlie's Angels. One thing she'd learned from years of odd customer service jobs was the ability to act like she knew what she was doing.

Considering she was holding an explosive weapon, however, this proved to be very,  _very_  difficult.

"Hello, villains," Black Hat said, taking on his salesman role. "It is I, Black Hat, here once again with deadly items to destroy all the heroes—and other annoyances—in your life! Including our latest product…"

The Cam-Bot panned over to Lita, who did her best to perk up and look straight into the lens.

"The Disintegration Ray!" Black Hat said, walking up to her side. "Modeled by my new henchgirl, Lita Ladrona!"

For a touch of flair, Lita gestured to the gun with one hand, as she'd seen models do on TV. Out of the corner of his eye, Flug saw the livestream chat pick up rapidly.

Black Hat continued his sales pitch. "This weapon will leave your enemies in the dust! Literally!"

She couldn't help the snort of laughter that'd escaped her nostrils. Then she remembered what she was supposed to do next.

"Observe," Black Hat said, gesturing to Flug. "As we test our product out on living targets."

Cam-Bot turned over to the scientist, who took it as his cue to pull the sheet off the cage. Three large rabbits sat inside. They  _did_  look old, as their eyes were pretty tired and worn. Their cage didn't even have any food, water, or wood shavings. Lita almost felt sorry for the poor things.

_Oh, right. I have to…kill 'em._

"Miss Ladrona," Black Hat said, bowing out of the line of fire, "if you would."

Gulping, Lita aimed the gun at the cage. Her hands were sweating and trembling, causing the ray to jiggle.

She was no stranger to weapons. But she'd never held a gun before. It wasn't the same as a knife. A knife was lighter, more controllable. Guns were heavier, unpredictable. Not to mention she had to aim from a distance, and she hadn't had much practice in that area. She didn't even play darts that much.

What if she missed? What if she accidentally hit Flug? What if it shot from the other end and  _she_ was turned to dust?!

The impatient look from her boss wasn't helping her in the least. She wanted to scream that she had no idea what she was doing, but remembering his warning, kept her mouth shut.

"While you're still young, Miss Ladrona," Black Hat growled through his teeth.

She quickly turned her attention back to the rabbits and tried to relax.  _It can't be that hard, right? Just point and shoot, right? Just point and—_

"Just shoot already, ya nitwit!" Dementia shouted from behind her.

Lita had no idea when the mutant had come in, and was thus, so startled, that the gun dropped out of her hands.

"Dementia!" Flug screamed.

As Lita fumbled to regain her grip, the ray went off in her hands.

There was a flash of light, a screeching sound, and then a  _poof!_

Once the gun was stable in her hands, Lita looked up to see the rabbits still intact. What had she hit?

Dementia was fine, as confirmed by the gasp behind her.

5.0.5. was fine. He was still watching from behind the Cam-Bot, shaking in terror.

Flug was fine. Though he was looking down at the floor in horror. Lita followed his gaze and put her hand to her mouth.

There in front of her, where Black Hat had stood just five seconds ago, was a smoking pile of black dust.

"Honeybun?" Dementia said in a squeaky voice.

"Boss?" Flug croaked.

 _Holy shit!_  Lita thought in panic.  _Did I just…did I just_ kill _my boss?!_

Then to everyone's amazement, the dust particles started moving. And slowly, they seemed to be reforming into a solid being. Lita found herself sighing in relief.

_That's right! He's immortal!_

Then she remembered they were still live. Her customer service side kicked in.  _If something goes wrong, act like it's no problem!_

"A-As you can see!" Lita said chipperly to the Cam-Bot. "The Disintegration Ray also works on immortal beings!" She glanced down at the dust, which had now formed into what looked like a pile of black sludge. "Though temporarily, of course!"

"Err…yes!" Flug exclaimed, improvising along with her. "It will not kill immortal enemies, but will certainly slow them down long enough for you to detain them! Order now, for just, uh…uh…"

The scientist had been so distracted by the incident that he'd forgotten the price.

"Just 49.99 U.S. dollars!" Lita piped up. "Or 948.29 pesos! Assuming the exchange rate doesn't go up again. Plus shipping and handling! And don't forget to like, comment and sub—"

She was interrupted by an angry growl from the floor. Looking down, she saw a pair of claws coming out of the sludge. Glancing at the weapon in her hand, Lita realized with panic the deep trouble she was in.

"B-B-But," she said to the Cam-Bot with an awkward laugh, "this item is, uh… _not_ recommended for use on y-y-your immortal boss!" She could see the top hat forming. "E-Especially when he can r-regenerate!" The claws had stretched into arms. "So, uh…order now and, uh…stay evil!"

Still carrying the ray, Lita bolted out of the lab. She knew it was pointless, as Black Hat would find her no problem, even without the tracking device in her arm. But maybe, if she kept running, it would buy time for Black Hat to cool down. Maybe if Flug and Dementia explained that it was an accident…

"WHERE IS SHE?!" Black Hat's voice echoed throughout the manor.

Maybe not.

Lita didn't bother waiting for the elevator and dashed down the stairs. Finding it difficult to run in heels, she paused a moment to kick them off. She had no idea where she was running. She just knew she couldn't stop. Already she could hear Black Hat's angry cries up above her.

Since the stairwell was too open an area, she got off on the next floor down. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she ran down the hall, holding the disintegration ray close. It wouldn't kill him, but she'd use it again, if need be.

Just then, a shadow passed over her as her arm was snatched up, forcing her to drop the gun. The nearest door flew open into a sitting room and Lita was whisked inside. The door slammed shut, and she was, in turn, slammed against the door.

Looking up, her eyes met Black Hat's. And it was glaring hard at her. His sharp teeth were clenched together in a furious growl as he arched himself over her. His grip on her arm was tightening by the second.

It was then, Lita knew, she'd done goofed. And for the first time since her arrival, she found herself legitimately scared of Black Hat.

"WAS IT YOUR INTENTION," he shouted in her face, his rotten breath smellier than ever, "TO HUMILIATE ME ON LIVESTREAM?! IN FRONT OF ALL MY VILLAINOUS VIEWERS?!"

"N-No!" Lita cried, struggling to get her usual boldness out. "I-It was an accident! D-Dementia surprised—"

"PERHAPS I'VE BEEN TOO LENIENT WITH YOU!" His grip on her arm tightened. "MAKING YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SHOOTING ME ALL WILLY-NILLY! WAS IT REVENGE FOR THE OUTFIT YOU DESPISE SO MUCH?!"

"No, boss!" She tried in vain to wrench her arm free. "I tried to tell you! I've never shot a gun before!"

He seemed to relax slightly as his voice lowered in volume. "That doesn't excuse your insubordinate behavior!" His gaze narrowed as he pressed her shoulder further against the door. "Do you think I tolerate your constant talking back to me? Your constant mocking of me as you mimic my every move?!"

She stiffened. "Y-You've…noticed that?"

"OF COURSE I'VE NOTICED!"

Lita winced at the spit splashing on her face. She felt Black Hat's claws dig into her shoulder, just one millimeter away from piercing her skin.

"YOU FAIL TO REALIZE YOUR PLACE!" he shouted, his breath cold on her face. "SEEMS YOU NEED A REMINDER OF WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE!"

Lita found herself trembling in his grasp. The delectable smell of fear coming off her then transformed Black Hat's anger into delight.

"Ah, at last," he said, inhaling deeply. "You've finally learned to fear me."

Lita opened her eyes to see his closed as he relished in her scent. His now smiling face was much too close for comfort.

"It only took several weeks," he said, opening his eye to show a deranged look. "But it was worth it." His hand moved up from her shoulder to her face. "Your fear is absolutely  _intoxicating_ , my dear."

"P-P-Please, sir, I—" she said weakly.

His finger silenced her, tracing over her trembling lips. "I really do like you, Miss Gris. But you do realize I can't let this little transgression go unpunished, don't you? I mean if I let  _all_  my subordinates disintegrate me like that—which, by the way, is  _extremely_ uncomfortable—no one would take me seriously."

His hand came away from her face and produced the disintegration ray. "Perhaps I should give you a taste of the humiliation I went through."

Lita's eyes widened in horror. "N-Now hold on, boss! I-If you d-disintegrate me, I won't be able to steal for you! A-After all, I, uh…won't r-reform like you!" She paused. "W-Which, b-b-by the way was really cool to see! I mean imagine my r-relief when I realized you weren't d—"

His hand clasped round her throat, enough to silence her, but not choke her. "Flattery won't help you this time, Miss Gris."

The fact that he'd reverted back to calling her by her actual name made her even more nervous.

"But you have a point," Black Hat said, tossing the gun over his shoulder. "I have no desire to kill you. As of yet. Besides, I believe you once told me that death was too…merciful a punishment. It'd be over too quickly.

"Oh no." He cupped her chin. "I want you to remember your punishment, down to its very," he said, leaning forward, "last, painful," he hissed the last word into her ear, "detail."

"P-Please…"

The demon chuckled at how small her voice had become. "Not so bold now, are you, little one?"

Indeed, Lita was truly scared. Not of death, but of the unknown.

Usually, when in a scrape like this, she could deduce the intentions of her attackers right off the bat. From that, she'd determine the best means of dealing with the situation. If it wasn't money they wanted, it was sex. Money was an easy fix. If she couldn't fight her attacker off, she'd just throw her wallet at them. Sex was a bit trickier to deal with, but rapists tended to be a bit less calculative than muggers. And they always made the mistake of underestimating her because she was a woman.

But she had no idea what Black Hat wanted. Well, she knew he wanted vengeance, but that led to a number of possibilities. With his powers, he could literally do  _anything_  to her! She wasn't sure if she should protect her wallet or her panties! But of course, neither of those were his targets.

The worst part was, whatever he had in mind, there was nothing she could do about it. Even if she fought, he'd win. It wasn't a matter of gender, but pure fact that he was the most powerful being in the universe. Sweet-talking wouldn't work either, as he was also the smartest. At least, he was the smartest being  _she_  knew. And, having observed her the past several weeks, he would not make the mistake of underestimating her. He knew she was a fighter, and would  _not_  go easy on her this time!

Lita hadn't realized just how lucky she'd been before. It was clear her luck had run out, as had Black Hat's patience. There was no possible way for her to come out of this unscathed. She had messed up big time, and he was not intent on forgiving her. The memory of Dementia's broken arm caused her to shiver. Suddenly, it wasn't so pleasing an image anymore.

But just  _what_  was he going to do? Lita hated not knowing! Death was at least certain! There'd be no pain afterwards. It'd be over.

Catching Black Hat's thoughtful expression, it seemed  _he_  didn't know what he was going to do either.

"Hmm," he said, bringing his finger to his chin. "Let's see. What would be a suitable punishment for you?"

It was strange. He'd been looking for an excuse to punish her severely. Now that he had the opportunity, he found himself unable to decide the proper penalty.

He considered breaking her hands, as they'd been the ones to fire the gun. But no, hands were much too valuable to a thief. He thought of disintegrating just one part of her body, but if she so much as missed a finger, it'd be difficult for her to pull off her heists. No, her body would have to stay intact.

It would have to be painful. But small. Yet traumatizing. Something she'd remember next time she even thought to defy him.

As his eye wandered absentmindedly over her trembling body, he couldn't help but notice how much of her skin was exposed. He paid special attention to her neck, its small veins pulsing rapidly.

"Oh, yes," Black Hat said, his sharp teeth glinting as he grinned widely. "That would be most," his finger traced her shoulder wistfully, " _delicious_."

When Lita saw the direction of his gaze, mistaking it to be towards her breasts, her fear quickly transformed into disgust. In an instant, all her rationality was thrown out the window, in place of pure survival instinct.

"DON'T YOU  _FUCKING_ TOUCH ME!" she shouted, kicking him hard in the balls.

The kick didn't hurt, but caught Black Hat off-guard enough for him to back away. He stared at her with a mixture of shock and anger.

"You can," she said, wrenching her arm free from his grasp now that it had loosened, "torture me all you like!" She poked him in the chest. "You may have my soul, but I will  _not_  let you take my body too!"

The anger went away, leaving only confusion. "What?"

"I know you're a villain." She held up her hands. "I'm fine with that. I'm even fine with you casually murdering bunnies! But I draw the line at rape!"

" _What_?!" Black Hat put a hand to his chest. "You thought…you thought I'd…I wasn't going to  _rape_  you, you idiot!"

Lita blinked in surprise. At his claim, as well as his tone. He actually sounded…appalled. Insulted that she would accuse him of such a thing.

"You…weren't?" she uttered.

"No, of course, not!" he exclaimed, as if the very idea was ridiculous. "I was going to suck your blood!"

This, too, surprised her. She hadn't considered the demon to have vampiric tendencies, though she wouldn't put it past him.

"That's…it?"

Black Hat scoffed. "What do you mean, ' _that's it_?' Do you know what it means for someone to drain all the blood from you?!"

"W-Well, yeah," Lita said, still bewildered by the idea. "I mean I've watched  _Twilight_."

He slapped himself in the face. "What is  _wrong_  with you, woman?! How are you not fazed by my threatening," he said, stepping towards her, "to take you into my grasp," he took her by the shoulders, "to…sink my teeth into your neck," his eye focused on her throat, "to…to pierce your delicate vein," Lita shivered as his cold finger traced up her shoulder, "to…drink the precious source of life that runs through them," and then to her neck, "to…savor that sweet,  _sweet_  liquid," his mouth was watering at the thought, "while the life drains slowly from your body and…you tremble…powerless against it…"

The more he talked about it, and the more he stared at her neck, the more he craved her blood. It'd been so long since he'd taken a drink from someone. How must she taste, now that she was marinated in fear? And oh, how that fear would grow, with every second his drinking would bring her closer to death! The very idea made him growl hungrily.

And it would be a fitting punishment. It would be painful, but as long as he didn't get too greedy, she'd recover, and not be left physically disabled. And he'd be exerting his power over her, marking her as his property with his bite, showing her once and for all that he was not a being to be trifled with.

Lita felt uneasy as he watched her neck with that hungry eye. She finally knew what he wanted. And frankly, it was better than him wanting her virtue. Not that she was a virgin, but she still had her pride. This knowledge quelled her fear, but only slightly.

Now came the hard part of getting out of here. There was no doubt he was going to hurt her. Once Black Hat had made up his mind, there was no changing it. But perhaps there was a way to soften the blow.

"If…I let you drink my blood," Lita said slowly, "without struggle, will…will you promise not to kill me?"

His eye rolled up to meet hers. Her sudden submission surprised him. But he wasn't complaining.

"That's a risky deal, my dear," the demon whispered, his hand moving down her arm. "Even if you keep your end of the bargain, I might just," he chuckled darkly, "lose myself."

Without breaking eye contact, Lita took a deep breath. "Do what you want. I deserve it. I just don't wanna die today."

Her voice was quiet, but strong, and sincere. Black Hat tried to control the giddiness bubbling up inside his chest. After weeks of this woman standing up to him, he'd finally managed to take her down a peg. Now here she was, submitting fully to his power.

At last, she understood that there was no use fighting him.

As his grin widened, Black Hat pulled her closer. "Deal."

Stepping back, he led her away from the door and over to one of the red velvet couches in the room. As promised, Lita didn't struggle as he sat her down on the couch.

"W-Will it hurt?" she couldn't help but ask.

He shrugged. "My victims never lived long enough to complain." The worry in her eyes caused him to smirk. "Oh, you'll be fine, as long as you remember our deal."

She bit her lip. "I'm not gonna turn into a demon, am I?"

He chuckled. "You mistake demons for vampires. Now hold still, or this'll hurt more than it has to."

Lita kept still as he lay her back on the couch. The sickening grin he wore as he climbed on top of her caused her to shiver. She decided it would be better if she closed her eyes.

She tried to relax herself, but it was difficult when feeling the weight of his body crushing down on her chest as he leaned towards her. With so much bare skin and nothing much covering the rest, she could easily feel each crease in his coat, the buttons on his vest, the sharp edges of his spats on either side of her legs.

Her heartbeat accelerated at the memory of another body crawling on top of her. One she'd tried so hard to forget.

 _Easy, girl_ , she told herself.  _That's not what he's after. Worst case scenario is you'll feel anemic after this. That's fine. You deal with that feeling every other period or so, so no biggie. Just hope the bite wound doesn't take too long to heal._

She gasped as she felt something cold and wet on her neck. It took a second for her to realize it was her boss' long, snake-like tongue. It ran slowly up her neck, as if to sample the taste of her. Despite her situation, she found herself clinging to his arm.

The action caused Black Hat to retract his tongue. He glanced over at her hand clutching his sleeve. He found it delightfully ironic that she was seeking comfort from the very thing tormenting her. It showed how desperate she was.

Finally, she was right where he wanted her. In his hold, completely submissive, and absolutely terrified. For a moment, he considered dulling the pain, as a reward for her cooperation.

But he wasn't  _that_  merciful.

Lita steadied her breath as he felt his cold claw on her head, tilting it slightly to the right to expose her neck further. She shivered as his icy breath drew nearer, his saliva dripping onto her skin.

Strangely though, she found herself relaxing beneath him. Now that she knew what was coming, there was no more dreaded anticipation. She supposed there were worse things he could do than drink her blood. At least he didn't want what most men wanted from her.

And despite how scared she was, how terrifying Black Hat was in this moment, she trusted him. She trusted him enough to keep his promise and not kill her.

The suspense, however, was  _much_  more torturous. She didn't understand why he was taking so long! Why couldn't he just get this over with?

Losing patience, Lita reached up with her other hand and pulled his head down towards her. Shocked at this action, Black Hat shut his mouth before his fangs could pierce her skin.

Something was…off. Why was she rushing this? Why had the tension in her body ceased? Taking a whiff of her, he was astonished to find that her fear was diminishing by the second!

He pulled away to look at her. Her eyes opened in confusion.

"W-What are you waiting for?" she stammered.

Black Hat stared at her, unable to respond.

He had no idea.

He had no idea why he'd stopped. Was it because of her unexpected willingness? Was it the fact that her fear was slipping away? Or maybe, because she wasn't fighting back, this didn't feel as…satisfying as it should've been? She  _always_  fought against him! Even though it was a losing battle! It was one of the things he secretly admired about her. To see her act so helpless was just…unsettling to him.

Whatever the reason, he found himself no longer wishing to harm her. He couldn't believe it. There'd never been a time, since he'd gotten his demonic powers, that he  _didn't_  want to harm someone! Especially someone who'd humiliated him in front of millions of villains!

But here he was, sitting above his victim, his bloodlust suddenly gone.

"Boss?" Lita said, using her elbows to prop herself up. "Are you…are you alright?"

She shouldn't be asking that question. After all,  _he_  was the one threatening to suck her blood! Why should she care if he was alright? But as she gazed up at him, his expression seemed…hesitant. Almost…conflicted?

Could it be that Black Hat had suddenly…changed his mind about hurting her?

Black Hat saw the bewilderment in his victim's face, and realized that if he didn't do something soon, the situation would become even more awkward. He couldn't just let her go. It'd make him look soft, and would cause her to think that she could get away with humiliating him. But the idea of biting into her throat didn't sound so pleasing anymore. Not to mention there was the deal they'd just struck. If he didn't drink her blood, he might have to kill her.

Then it occurred to him.

Before Lita could ask further, Black Hat shifted backwards so that he was sitting on her legs. Grabbing her right arm, he lifted her into a sitting position. He rotated her arm so that her palm was facing up. He licked the area below her wrist, sending another shiver through her.

Then, with a single claw, Black Hat made a small cut below her wrist. The pain was sharp, but brief. Lita gasped out of reflex. She then watched perplexed as Black Hat brought her arm to his lips and started sucking on the small wound.

Lita didn't know what to think. A minute ago, he'd been aiming for her throat. He was still drinking her blood, but in a way that she could barely feel anything. What had caused him to change his mind?

Or, was this perhaps his way of luring her into a false sense of security, before inflicting the real pain?

Meanwhile, Black Hat was relishing in this small taste of her blood. It was a bit deficient in iron, but strong. It was also AB negative, a rarer type. This explained her personality so much. He found people with AB negative blood to be self-contradictory.

After all, it had been  _his_  blood type once.

As he sucked more and more of her delicious blood, he could feel his earlier thirst returning. He even considered going for her neck again.

But before he could make that decision, the door flung open.

"Sir!" Flug cried, waving his tablet. "Before you punish Lita, you should—"

He stopped in his tracks as he took in the scene in front of him. Black Hat and Lita were staring at him, sitting on the couch together in a…questionable position, the demon's lips on her arm.

Considering Lita looked more embarrassed than frightened, the scientist had no idea what to make of it.

"Um," Flug said, holding up a shaking finger, "am I interrupting s-something?"

Scowling, Black Hat dropped Lita's arm and climbed off her. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

"Eep!" Flug held up his tablet as a shield. "I just, um…thought you should know that…we just received over five hundred orders for the Disintegration Ray, and uh…they're still coming in fast!"

Relaxing a bit, the demon glanced back at Lita, who was now sitting fully upright as she cradled her arm. The wound wasn't severe. Only a little blood was trickling from it.

"And, uh," Flug said, showing his boss the screen, "you should read the comments from the livestream. The, uh…audience seems to be really taken with—"

Black Hat snatched up the tablet before he could finish. Their boss skimmed over the comments section of the video. His back was to her, so Lita couldn't see his expression. After about a minute, Black Hat shoved the tablet into the scientist's chest.

"Patch her up, will you?" he commanded gruffly.

With a nod, Flug saluted as his boss stomped out the door. He then turned to Lita. Seeing the blood on her arm, he started to understand what Black Hat had done.

"You okay?" Flug asked, running over to her.

As he examined her arm, Lita opened her mouth, but paused as she processed the last five minutes.

Then, as if she couldn't believe her own words, she replied in a small voice, "Y-Yeah. I'm…okay?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to make this an abusive relationship. But given how Black Hat is, I knew it was only a matter of time before he'd lose his patience with Lita. I went over this scene again and again in my mind before finding a way where he wouldn't hurt her too much, but still leave her pretty shook up. The point was to show Black Hat's hesitance to severely harm her. I realize this scene was intense, but necessary to move the story forward.
> 
> DON'T HATE ME!


	19. Apologies and Amendments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Black Hat experiences a new emotion.

 

"Good news," Flug said. "You won't need stitches."

He'd taken Lita to the lab to tend to her cut. She sat on his worktable while he dabbed the small wound with a damp cloth, cleaning up the blood. 5.0.5. place his enormous paw on her shoulder and gave her a sympathetic look.

"It's okay,  _Pachoncito_ ," Lita said, giving the bear a small smile. "It doesn't hurt that much."

"You're lucky," Flug said as he rummaged through the first-aid kid. "Last time Black Hat took a drink from someone, he'd ripped the guy's throat open with his teeth."

Dementia huffed from the other side of the lab. "He never takes a drink from  _me_."

"I don't think this is something you should be jealous of, Dementia," Lita said.

"This might sting a little," Flug said, getting out some disinfectant spray.

Lita winced as the chemicals mingled with her wound. "It was kind of weird though. He was aiming for the throat, but he changed his mind at the last minute. Does he do that kind of thing a lot?"

The scientist shrugged as he got out a roll of gauze. "Who knows why Black Hat does anything, really? Maybe it was his way of holding back, knowing how valuable you are." He caught her raised eyebrow. "Do you really think either of us would still be alive if that man  _didn't_  have self-control?"

Holding her arm steadily, he began wrapping the gauze around the wound. "I realize how…traumatizing this must be. This is the first time he's used corporal punishment on you, and it won't be the last."

His solemn tone didn't escape her. "Has…has he ever done anything like this to you, Flug?"

Pausing a moment, he reached for some scissors. "You want the short list, or the long?"

Lita shook her head. "Why do you work for him, Flug? You know how I got roped into this, but you know he's not a very nice guy. Criminal offenses aside, of course, he could at least be a little more respectful towards his employees."

He cut the gauze. "I'm not exactly a nice guy either."

"You're nice with me, at least."

Once he'd pinned her bandage into place, Flug stood and met her gaze. "No one in this house is nice, Lita." He looked fondly at the bear. "Except for 5.0.5., of course."

5.0.5. emphasized his point by taking Lita's arm and kissing her bandage.

"We're all here for a reason. You think  _this_  was bad?" Flug gestured to her arm. "I've done worse."

"I know," Lita said, massaging her arm. "I watched the tapes."

He shook his head. "Those tapes don't even scratch the surface of the things I've done. Do you see this plane?" He gestured around the lab. "Haven't you ever wondered how it got here? Hasn't my name given you any hints?" He pointed to the plane crash logo on his shirt. "Or even this?"

She shrugged. "So, you crashed this plane. It was kind of obvious in retrospect."

"It's a big plane, Lita." His tone became cryptic. "Haven't you wondered about the passengers?"

Her eyes widened. "Damn, Flug. Remind me never to get on your bad side."

"Oh, I have no intention of hurting you, Lita," he said, waving a hand. "I like you too much. But you have to know, I'm not a good person."

"Good people don't exist. But that doesn't mean people can't do good things." Sighing, she glanced at her bandaged arm. "Today was an accident. I wish the boss had seen it that way."

"Well, then," Flug said, patting her arm, "consider this a blessing."

"It might've gotten worse if you hadn't shown up." Lita cocked her head. "Those comments you showed him. What did they say to get him to give up on me?"

"Oh, you can read them here." He picked up his tablet and pulled up the video from earlier. "To put it simply, your debut as an evil henchgirl was well received."

She took the tablet and started scrolling through the comments. To her surprise, the majority of them seemed to be about her.

_Damn, this girl's got some guts!_

_Shooting her own boss? Now THAT'S evil!_

_Bout time BH hired another woman!_

_Feminism, FTW!_

"You mean they actually  _liked_  me disintegrated Black Hat?" Lita said in amazement.

Flug shrugged. "Villains  _love_  watching violence. And thanks to your little mishap, we got more sales than expected."

The idea that some good had come out of her mistake caused Lita to smile. However, that smile was short-lived when she came to the more…obscene comments.

_Woo! Look at the curves on THAT cutie!_

_Nice boobs._

_Did Black Hat finally get himself a girlfriend?_

_Forget the ray! How much for HER?!_

_I'd pay for HER services any day!_

Lita put down the tablet in disgust. "I  _told_  you I'd look like a whore."

"Oh." Flug tucked the tablet into his lab coat. "D-Don't pay attention to comments like that. You know how villains are. Even with Rule 10V3, they can still be sort of…inappropriate."

"Glad  _you_ aren't like that."

"Yeah, well," the scientist said, his neck turning red. "As Lord Black Hat says, 'being a villain doesn't mean you can't be a gentleman.'" He leaned forward to whisper, "For the record, the outfit wasn't my idea."

"I know," she said, smiling softly.

"Hmm," Flug said thoughtfully. "Dementia's been awfully quiet." He looked back to find that the mutant was no longer in the lab. "That's never good. I better make sure she's not destroying my machines again."

"Yeah, you'd better. Thanks for the bandage. Now, if you don't mind," she said as she jumped down from the table, "I'm getting out of this dumb thing before I freeze to death."

As she picked up her clothes and headed for her room, Lita contemplated the events of the last hour. She really should be traumatized from being made into a snack for her boss, even if he didn't take enough blood to kill her. But honestly, she was more perplexed than traumatized.

He could've taken more from her. He could've made it more painful by biting her neck, like he'd said he would. And yet, he'd chosen a less excruciating method.

But why? Why had he suddenly decided to ease up on the brutality of her punishment? She hadn't struggled. He had no reason to be gentle, if that's what she could call it.

There was something else that puzzled her too. When she had thought he was going to rape her, Black Hat had sounded…disgusted by the idea. How was a demon who murdered and tortured mercilessly, had not even considered rape as an option for punishment? Not that she was complaining. It just seemed…strange.

Well, there was that Rule 10V3 of his to take into account. But sex and love weren't the same thing. Even if he was asexual—she was demi, herself—he still could've done it to exert his power over her.

As she changed clothes in her room, a new thought occurred to her.

Could it be that Black Hat, the master of all villainy, had a conscience?

Her mother's words echoed through her mind:  _There are no bad people in this world. Just people, who sometimes do bad things._

With Black Hat's track record, Lita had been ready to believe that there was hardly any good in that cold-hearted demon. But if he was one-hundred-percent evil, then why hadn't her punishment been worse? She also remembered their private conversation last night, how he had listened to her open up about her past, and then his sudden allowance to let her call her father.

Don't get her wrong. Lita was not stupid enough to think that this made him a good person. As she'd said, there were no good people in this world either. Except maybe 5.0.5. Black Hat was still dangerous, and he probably saw her more as a piece of property than an actual person. Not to mention that while the pain hadn't been severe, he had still hurt her.

But he was also a person. Which meant that he had a conscience like everyone else. And it was for this reason that Lita did not fear him.

However, if she messed up again, she wasn't so sure how merciful Black Hat would be.

* * *

Black Hat sat in his office, watching today's commercial on his laptop for what felt like the thousandth time. After reading the comments praising Lita's performance, he'd decided to watch the part he'd missed while he was too busy reforming. Then he went back and watched the whole thing. Several hours later, the video was still on loop.

He hadn't heard Lita's recovery speech after disintegrating him. The girl was a natural at thinking on her feet, despite the bizarre situation. Given how something would go wrong in nearly  _every one_  of Black Hat's commercials, this was a much-needed quality. He shouldn't have been surprised, considering the amount of sales jobs he'd seen on her resumé. A normal person would've freaked out after accidentally disintegrating their boss, but instead, she had kept a cool head and continued on with the commercial.

And yes, he was well aware it had been an accident, especially after so many re-watches. Despite her smile, he could see her nerves in the way her hands were shaking. It was perfectly clear from her weak, trembling grip that she'd never held a gun before. He knew it wasn't an easy weapon to wield, as he'd had to learn to use it when it was first invented. Anyone could pull a trigger, but aiming while holding a weapon of such explosive force was another story. It had been, admittedly, trickier for Black Hat, as he'd had to learn to shoot with one eye. And Lita had obviously not intended to shoot him. It was Dementia who had surprised her, causing the ray to set off.

Lita was lucky this slip-up had worked in his favor, otherwise Black Hat was pretty sure he would've done much worse to her. But the first day's sales were record-breaking, the commercial was going viral, and based on the comments, his latest minion's popularity was growing rapidly. He paused the video to scroll through the most recent comments.

Most of them were praising. Apparently, his followers liked seeing rebellious minions. Lita's gumption was certainly something to admire.

However, the majority of the comments were…questionable. A lot of them were concerning Lita's appearance. Of course, Black Hat was used to lovesick fans complimenting his and his subordinate's appearances, but these were of a…lewder nature.

_Look at those tits!_

_Ooh, I'm feeling tight just looking at that tight dress._

_Those legs are smoking!_

Black Hat couldn't help but roll his eye.  _Honestly, you'd think these people had never seen a woman before._

Some of the comments were a bit more negative.

_She's pretty cute, but what's with all that leg hair?_

_Ew! Doesn't this girl ever shave her pits?_

Black Hat raised an eyebrow at these.  _So what if she has leg and armpit hair? Don't_ all _humans?_  He honestly hadn't paid much attention.

And, of course, there were the comments that  _really_  ticked him off.

_Did Black Hat finally get himself a girlfriend?_

_Are she and Black Hat dating?_

_Ooh! I totally ship it!_

He still had no idea what "shipping" meant.

It wasn't until he read the comment about asking for Lita's "services," realizing they weren't referring to her thieving, he slammed the laptop shut. If he didn't need people buying his products, he'd be hunting these trolls down and annihilating them one by one.

He should've never put her in that atrocious outfit. No one would assume this of him, but he was well aware of how unfairly women were treated in this world. He made no effort to remedy that, of course, but he'd seen first-hand how harshly a man could objectify a woman. Of course, Black Hat objectified  _all_  of his subordinates, but never sexually. That trashy costume had been a revenge game to make Lita uncomfortable. Seems she'd been right on how she'd be perceived.

But these comments alluding to Lita being a whore awakened old memories of a woman he'd been particularly close to. The  _only_  woman he'd ever been close to. He remembered how they'd walk the streets, her soft hand holding his then tiny one, all the men leering at her and shouting countless vulgarities her way. She'd responded to all of them with a polite smile, but even though he'd been a child, he'd always noticed the pain hidden in her eyes.

Black Hat wondered if Lita had read these comments yet, and what she might think of them. Was that same pain tainting her bright blue eyes right now?

He felt a pang of emotion in his chest. An emotion he hadn't felt for a very long time.

Guilt.

The realization was alarming, but he truly felt guilty. Guilty, for forcing her into that outfit, for making her use a weapon she was unfamiliar with, for punishing her for something that wasn't her fault.

Was that why he had hesitated in that moment? When he could've bitten mercilessly into her throat and drained half the blood from her? Because he'd felt…guilty?

With a frustrated growl, Black Hat put his head in his hands, his elbows leaning onto his desk. He had no idea why he was feeling this way! He'd done much worse to others for far pettier reasons! Why was he fretting over hurting this one person? Why did he care that strangers were saying crude things about her? Why did it matter if she was being sexually objectified by others?

Whatever the reason, he was curious about how Lita was coping. Was she traumatized from today's incident?  _Of course, she is_ , he thought with a smirk.

Pressing the remote to lower the monitors, Black Hat browsed through the security cameras. The timestamp revealed that it was nearly midnight. Apparently, he'd missed dinner. No matter, he didn't necessarily need to eat anyway.

Flug was working late in his lab, 5.0.5. was curled up in his stuffed animal corner, Dementia was secured in her room—she hadn't broken from her restraints this time—but Lita was apparently awake. She was on her bed, but was still fully dressed and talking on her cell. It seemed she'd taken full advantage of the amendments to her phone privileges. He was ready to unmute the monitor, but then realized he'd only hear one half of the conversation. So, he opened his laptop to pull up her cell recording.

* * *

"So the guard was in the very next room," Lita said into her phone excitedly, "and I was stuck in this laser grid like a pretzel! So I told Dementia to pull me up at the count of three, and as soon as I said 'three,' I snatched the thing up and she pulled me up through the skylight! The alarm went off, but I was outta there before the guy could get his gun!"

She heard a laugh from the other end. " _Wonderful job,_ mija _!_ "

She couldn't help but tell her father about the heist the other day. She figured as long as she didn't say  _what_  she had stolen, it was okay. Besides, it wasn't like her papi was going to tell anybody, being a thief too.

" _I never thought I'd be so happy to see you stealing again!_ " Ricardo exclaimed.

"Me neither," Lita said, hugging her stuffed goat. "You think Mom would approve?"

" _She'd have wanted you to be happy._ " He sighed. " _Though I wish you could've kept your honest life. I do worry about you getting caught again._ "

"That won't happen, Papi. Don't forget I'm not working alone this time."

" _That's what I'm worried about. Villains aren't exactly the most…trustworthy teammates. I mean…you don't expect Black Hat to come to your rescue if you get caught, do you?_ "

Lita blushed at the memory of him catching her the other day. "Didn't he get you out of jail several times in the past?"

" _Yes, but always at a price. That demon doesn't care about anyone but himself._ "

She touched the bandage on her arm. "H-Hey. Don't forget he might be listening." She shouted into the phone. "Being the pervert that he is!"

" _I don't care. You shouldn't be in there in the first place._ "

Lita shook her head. "If I wasn't, you'd be dead right now."

" _But at least you would've been safe._ "

Still cradling her arm, she said nothing for a long while.

" _I swear,_ mija _, I'll find a way to get you out of there._ "

"Papi," she said slowly. "Don't you go do anything stupid, now."

" _I_ will _find a way. Just hold on a little bit longer._ "

Lita sighed. "Seriously, Papi. Just let me go. Be glad Black Hat is letting me talk to you at all. Let's not push our luck any further, okay?"

There was a soft knock at the door.

"I gotta go," she said. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

" _Take care,_ mija _,_ " Ricardo said in a sad voice.

" _Te amo_ _,_ Papi," Lita said before hanging up.

When she saw the time on her phone, she realized she'd been on it for over an hour. So, who could be knocking at her door so late at night?

She certainly didn't expect to find Black Hat standing there.

"Oh," she said, her hand flying to her bandaged arm. "H-Hey, boss."

His expression was neutral as he stared at her, his hands behind his back. She was understandably uneasy, after what he'd put her through today, though not as utterly terrified as he'd predicted. She made no attempt to run, knowing it would be pointless, but kept her gaze on the floor.

After a minute of silence, Black Hat asked, "Shouldn't you be asleep, Miss Ladrona?"

 _Oh,_ Lita thought.  _He's here about the extremely long phone call to my papi._

Despite what had happened earlier, she tried to keep the mood light. "I, um…could ask you the same question, sir."

Black Hat rolled his eye. "Unlike you fragile mortals, I don't require sleep."

She looked up at him in surprise. "So…you don't sleep… _at all_?"

"Only when I feel like it," he said with a shrug.

"Wow," Lita said as she processed this little tidbit. "You must have a  _hell_  of a lot of free time then."

"You have  _no_  idea." He glanced at her bandage. "How's your arm?"

Her fingers closed around the bandaged area. "I've…had worse."

He nodded. "At least you're not a crybaby like Flug."

"That doesn't mean it hurts any less," she wanted to say, but held her tongue.

True, it wasn't bad in terms of physical pain. She just didn't like the memory of him crouching over her in a way that she had to remind herself he'd only been after her blood. For a moment, she thought he'd come to finish what he'd started.

"What do you want?" she asked abruptly.

Black Hat made eye contact with her. She didn't avoid it this time. No use looking emotionally vulnerable, even if she had a lesser opinion of him now. Even if he'd softened his punishment, it didn't excuse what he had done.

His eye shut as he inhaled deeply. "I've come, in order to…to…"

The next sound that came out of his mouth was a croak. Lita cocked her head at him.

"What?"

He cleared his throat. "I wanted to a…apo…apolo—gi…apol—"

Those big blue eyes of hers widened, not believing what she was hearing.

"Holy shit!" Laughter bubbled in her throat. "Are you…are you actually trying to  _apologize_?"

"SHUT UP!"

His cheeks became a shade darker.  _Oh my gosh_ , she thought, covering her mouth to keep the laughter at bay.  _Is he actually_ blushing _right now?!_

"DON'T LAUGH!"

She wheezed. "S-Sorry! It's just…you…I didn't think…"

She couldn't help it any longer. He just looked so  _adorable_  when flustered like that! Black Hat growled at her as she clutched her stomach and burst out laughing. He waited a full minute for her to calm down.

"Have we gotten that out of our system?" he asked tiredly.

"Yeah, yeah," Lita said, straightening up. "You were saying?"

He heaved an exhausted sigh. "As I was  _trying_  to say. I came here so I could," he winced, "a-p-p-p—"

He struggled to utter the word. Lita had a feeling he didn't do this sort of thing often. To think, the evil entity who'd brought empires to their knees was stumbling over an apology like a nervous schoolboy.

It was just too  _cute_!

"Sound it out," Lita said sweetly.

He grunted in frustration. "APOLOGIZE! There! I said it!"

The demon turned to leave, but Lita, who was enjoying this too much, wasn't letting him go  _that_  easily.

"You know?" she said, crossing her arms and leaning casually against the doorframe. "You've done so much crap to me, you're gonna have to be more specific."

Sending her a death glare, he faced her again. "Fine!" He crossed his own arms. "I'm s-s-sorry for punishing you! Happy?!"

"Hmm." She moaned teasingly. "Didn't really sound sincere."

"What do you want me to say?!" Black Hat threw his hands up in the air. "That today wasn't your fault?! That it was wrong of me to force you into uncomfortable attire?! That I shouldn't have given you a weapon you were unfamiliar with?! That you didn't shoot me on purpose and thus I shouldn't have tormented you for it?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!"

Lita's smile faded as she took in his words, finding herself too stunned to respond. With a heavy sigh, Black Hat folded his hands behind his back.

"Indeed," he said slowly. "What happened during the commercial…wasn't your doing. You…tried to tell me you didn't know how to use a gun, and I didn't listen. So, perhaps, you…didn't deserve the punishment I gave you."

Lita had every right not to forgive him. He was a villain, after all. Even if he was apologizing, she'd learned the hard way that one apology wasn't enough to fix everything. Especially when, after apologizing, that person proceeded to do the same thing the next day.

But this was  _Black Hat_! He wasn't known for apologizing for  _anything_! Which was probably why this had been hard for him to say. If he was making an effort to do something that he despised doing for her, he must've really felt guilty.

It further confirmed Lita's theory about him not being one-hundred-percent evil.

"A-And so," Black Hat said, stammering, "for that, I am…s-s-s-s—"

"Don't hurt yourself, boss," she said. "I get it."

He released the air he'd been holding in. Not that he needed to breathe, of course.

He gave Lita a warning look. "If you tell anyone about this—"

She held up a hand. "Don't worry, sir. I won't go telling anyone you have a conscience."

His cheeks took on that darker color again. "I didn't come here out of the goodness of my heart, if that's what you're implying! I merely…realized my error and came to correct it!"

"Sure." She gave him a small smile. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry for disintegrating you. Must've been a pain."

"It  _was_ ," he grumbled before relaxing. "But…in retrospect, I should've better prepared you. Clearly, you need more training where weapons are concerned."

Lita looked at him hopefully. "You mean…?"

He nodded. "Starting tomorrow, consider your weapons-wielding privileges approved. With this happy thought in mind, you should be able to sleep with less difficulty.

"You kidding?" She squealed in excitement. "Now I'm too excited to sleep!"

Black Hat groaned. "Perhaps, you would prefer I render you unconscious?"

With a sadistic smile, he raised his claw.

Lita didn't flinch, only smirked and said, "I have a  _better_  idea of how you can help me sleep."

He stiffened at the sultry tone in her voice and the mischievous glint in her eyes. In spite of himself, his eye flicked towards the interior of her bedroom.

Seeing his confusion, and where he was staring, Lita rolled her eyes. "Not  _that_  kind of help, you pervert!"

 _Oh, thank Satan_ , Black Hat thought, masking his relief. "Then to what, pray tell, are you referring?"

"Oh, trust me." Her grin widened. "You'll approve."

* * *

The street surrounding Black Hat's manor was dark, save for the light from the lamps…and the bonfire in Black Hat's front lawn.

Lita watched with sick satisfaction as the skimpy outfit she'd been forced to wear went up in flames in the outdoor firepit. Black Hat glanced sideways at her, admiring the twisted grin on her face.

"Never," she said, giving him a warning glare, "make me wear something like that again."

He shrugged. "In truth, it made you look tacky, anyway."

Gasping, Lita moved to slap him. Without turning, Black Hat grabbed her wrist before she could make contact. Though his grip wasn't very tight.

"Save your energy for our sparring session tomorrow," he said, releasing her. "Remember," he smirked at her, "you'll be allowed a weapon this time."

Returning his smile, Lita moved her hands behind her back. "Then you can expect Hell tomorrow."

He chuckled as he threw his arm over her shoulder. "I'll be looking forward to it."

As they watched the remnants of clothing burn slowly on the logs, Lita didn't comment on the fact that his hand was on her shoulder. Nor did she bother to pull herself away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that the story's going to be pretty slow-paced from now on as relationships are established.
> 
> Also, in response to guest reviewer "rosebud" from FanFiction.net, the celebrity whose voice I think would best fit Lita would be America Ferrera.
> 
> Don't worry. Black Hat's backstory will come into play much later. Even though the full series is coming that might finally establish Black Hat's lore, I still won't be changing the backstory I came up with.
> 
> Yeah, those internet comments were based on the backlash I got by mentioning that Lita didn't shave. Frankly, I don't think she would've had the time nor financial security to pay much attention to her looks. So no more rude comments about women's pubic hair. It's as natural for women as it is for men, and the only reason people think it's gross for women is because society made it appear gross. Like with men, it's our choice whether to shave or not. In my case, I don't, and am not ashamed by it.


	20. Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita finally breaks down.

 

"You seem to be in an awfully chipper mood today," Flug told Lita at breakfast the next morning.

Lita shrugged as she took a bite of her Belgian waffles and berries. "Hard not to be when it's 5.0.5.'s turn to make breakfast."

Across the table, the bear gave a gratified "Mroo!"

"Also," Lita said after swallowing, "today's the day I get to try out some weapons."

"Oh, yes," Flug said, sneaking his bites under his bag. "Mr. Black Hat texted me that he approved your weapons-wielding privileges. You're scheduled to view the weapons vault after lunch, right before your physical training session."

"As fun as our sparring matches have been," she said with a mischievous grin on her face, "it's gonna be even  _more_  interesting when I go up against the boss with a  _real_ weapon in my hand."

The scientist lowered his fork, sending her a confused look. He hadn't known many people excited to go up against  _Black Hat_ , even if it was just for sparring. Except Dementia, of course.

Maybe Lita just had revenge on the brain, which was plausible, given yesterday's incident.

"While it's good you're starting to show enthusiasm in our work," Flug said in a warning tone, "you should be cautious. You don't want to provoke the boss any further than you already have."

Lita laughed. "You don't have to worry about me provoking him while sparring. Between you and me, I think he likes it when I hit him."

Flug paused to ponder this idea. "I…suppose he  _would_  see it as a game. Of course, I've never actually seen you fight."

"Maybe you can watch. I'm sure the boss won't mind."

"True," he said nervously. "He  _does_  like exhibiting his power."

Noticing how strangely tranquil this meal was, Lita glanced at the empty chair. "Where's Dementia?"

"Oh. She already had her breakfast this morning."

He let out a chuckle that sounded suspiciously dark. With all the crazy stuff that went on around here, Lita decided not to question it.

"Oh, I nearly forgot," Flug said, placing his hands together. "Your vaccines arrived this morning!"

Lita nearly choked on her food. "W-What?"

"Working here around cursed items and," he said, clearing his throat, "highly volatile experiments, you're more likely to contract deadly diseases here than in any other workplace. Especially if you're working with Dementia, you'll need to be immunized against rabies. We can give you the first dose after breakfast, then the next one in seven days. Also, after going through your medical records, I noticed you'd missed several significant vaccinations for influenza, chickenpox, measles, so I took the liberty of ordering those too. And, of course, now that you're an adult, there are vaccinations against hepatitis A, B, and C; which you can still contract outside of sexual intercourse, and there's the Td vaccine for every ten years, and since many of my experiments can lead to cancer, you'll need at least five more vaccines to be fully protected from any…"

He trailed off when he realized Lita's chair was empty. He could hear the retreating footsteps in the hallway. Remembering her discomfort with needles, the scientist heaved a heavy sigh as he reached into his lab coat.

"I was sincerely hoping I would never have to do this to her," he said, taking out his tranquilizer gun, "but she's left me no choice."

* * *

Lita raced through the halls, searching for a place to hide. She could already hear the whirling of Hatbot wheels coming her way. Flug must've ordered them to fetch her.

She knew it was futile to run, but hearing Flug list all those vaccines, all those sharp, tiny needles that'd be piercing her body; had caused her to panic. Not wanting to go through all that, her only thought was to run as far away from the scientist as possible.

Of course, she realized no matter where she ran, they'd find her. There were cameras everywhere, and there was the tracking device in her arm. As she passed by one of the bathrooms, she stopped.

 _That's it!_  She thought.  _There are no cameras in the bathroom!_

She didn't hesitate to slip inside, but then remembered the tracking device, and that Flug could always check the cameras to see her going in there. Not to mention there were no windows she could climb out of. She was a sitting duck.

Flipping on the light switch, she then noticed an air vent in the corner.

_Duh! I'll just use the vents like I did when I stole that egg!_

Fortunately, she always kept a hairpin tucked away in her pocket for emergencies such as this.

It was a bit of a tight squeeze, as these air ducts hadn't been built for humans to crawl through, but she managed to move at a steady pace. It helped that she was a small woman.

Lita giggled as she made her way through the steel labyrinth to a nonspecific destination. Even if Flug checked her tracking device, he'd have a harder time finding her within the walls! She could imagine the look of confusion on his paper-bagged face when he would arrive at the location her signal had led to, only to find it completely empty! Of course, she'd have to come out of the vents eventually, but this could at least buy her time. Maybe Flug would get tired and give up on trying to vaccinate her. It wasn't the most rational plan, but what else could she do?

Just then, there was a crash behind her and light flooded the vents! Something long and cold ensnared her ankle. Lita shrieked as she was pulled through the new hole in the air duct. Next thing she knew, she was hanging upside-down, a black tentacle holding her up by the ankle to meet Black Hat's angry face.

Lita really should've been paying attention to where she was going. Somehow, she'd ended up in Black Hat's office. He must've heard her crawling above.

Giving him an awkward smile, she waved weakly. "Um, h-hi, boss."

"And why, Miss Ladrona," Black Hat growled, his brow furrowing, "are you sneaking around in my vents?" He brought her closer. "Planning to steal something else of mine, are you?"

"No!" Lita exclaimed, holding up her hands. "No, no, no,  _no_! I was just, uh…cleaning out the vents?"

His gaze narrowed. "That wasn't on your list of chores for today!"

"I know! I just…realized how dusty they were and thought, um…it'd be a nice surprise and…" She felt his tentacle tighten around her ankle. "You're not buying this, are you?"

He released her, letting her fall onto his desk with a yelp. Rubbing her head, Lita attempted to rise, but Black Hat beat her to it as he pulled on the front of her blouse, lifting her onto her knees.

"YOU HAVE EXACTLY SIXTY SECONDS TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

Lita choked back a whimper. Although she'd become more relaxed around him, it didn't make it any less scary when he used his demonic voice. It was like several voices were shouting at once, all growling and spitting.

There was no use lying to him. Flug was bound to catch up with her eventually anyway, and would probably tell Black Hat everything.

With a gulp, Lita replied, "I was…hiding. From…Flug."

His hold loosened a little, but still kept firm. This wouldn't be the first time he'd caught one of his subordinates hiding in the vents, before they'd realized that even those weren't free from Black Hat's all-seeing eye. Now, he would've expected Lita to be hiding from Dementia, as there was obvious friction between them, but Flug? A few weeks ago, Lita had expressed the scientist as a— _gag_ —friend. Why would she be hiding from him?

Unless…

"Finally got on the doctor's nerve, did you?" Black Hat said, grinning at the idea.

"N-No, I just…I didn't…I didn't wanna…" Lita winced in embarrassment. "I didn't wanna get vaccinated!"

He paused. " _That's_  what this all about?" Releasing her shirt, he sighed and massaged where the bridge of his nose should have been. "Look. I don't care if you're one of those anti-vaccine extremists. Frankly, I commend those idiots for making my efforts to spread deadly diseases much easier. However, considering how  _easy_ it is to contract a disease in this house, and I can't afford to have you incapacitated in any way—"

"It's not that I don't believe that vaccines work!" she snapped. "It's just…I…I don't… _wanna_  get vaccinated."

Ashamed, she put her head in her hands. She could only imagine how pathetic she looked right now. Never mind the fact that she was still atop her boss' desk.

Black Hat stared at her in bewilderment. Was she…having an emotional breakdown? He didn't think that was possible from this woman! She was usually so level-headed, so bold. Even the tears from the other night had been small. And when he had threatened her yesterday, though she'd been terrified, she'd kept herself together.

But right now, she was emanating the most amount of fear he had sensed from her yet.

 _Why is she sniveling on my desk? What does this have to do with vaccines? And why is she even_ more _scared than when I…?_

"Wait." His eye widened as he came to a conclusion. "Oh. Oh no, don't  _tell_ me you have a fear of  _needles_!"

Not wanting to look him in the eye, Lita crawled down from his desk so that she was on its other side and stood with her back to him.

"Needles?!" he shouted, bringing his fists down in frustration. "Your biggest fear is  _needles_?! After everything you've…argh!" He gripped his face with both claws, ready to rip it off. "If I had known  _that's_  what you were afraid of, I would've been a  _lot_  more tactful with my scares! I could've turned my claws into a million little needles!" He grinned at the thought. "I could've waited within the floor for you to step on my claws." He chuckled, seeming to forget Lita was there. "I could've slowly inserted each needle into your skin, one by—"

"STOP IT!" she shouted, spinning around. "I KNOW IT'S STUPID, OKAY?! YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE FUN OF ME!"

Black Hat was momentarily taken aback by her outburst. She'd yelled at a volume high enough to rival him. Without the demonic effect, of course. Her sudden tears had also shocked him. They weren't just from sadness, but anger and fear. And unlike the small tears from the other day, these were big, and falling rapidly like streams down her face.

Lita saw his bewildered expression and realized how much of a mess she must've looked. Not wanting to cry in front of him, but also not having the energy to run out the door and possibly run into Flug, she turned around and slid down against the desk.

A normal person would be concerned over her tears. At least they would've asked her what the matter was. But Black Hat wasn't a normal person. Instead, he grinned, thrilled that he was at last seeing Adelita Gris at her most insecure. He took pleasure in watching others wallow in misery, and to see it from one who so often appeared secure was absolutely  _delightful_.

From her behavior, he could tell this was about more than just fearing a little pain from something so tiny. Oh no, this was something deep-seeded. Traumatic. Heart-wrenching.

And boy, was he determined to find out more!

Chuckling to himself, Black Hat circled his desk and stood in front of Lita.

"Now, surely, Miss Ladrona," he said, leaning towards her, "it'd take more than a teeny little piece of metal to get to  _you_."

Refusing to look at him, Lita hugged her knees to her chest and lay her head on top of them. This caused Black Hat to grin further.

"After all, I've seen you take  _several_  hits without complaint, that I'm sure hurt  _far_  worse than one little needle piercing your skin. Not to mention…yesterday's ordeal. So, if it's not about physical pain, I can only assume it's something…psychological?"

He placed his hands behind his back. "What happened? Get pricked in the eye as a child? Did you have a pediatrician who was a bit too…touchy? Or perhaps you had an unpleasant experience in the hospital?"

Her shoulders flinched at the mention of the hospital. Black Hat smirked in triumph.

"Ah, so it has something to do with the hospital, then." He rubbed his hands together. "Oh, yes, the many ironically  _gruesome_  things that happen in those 'places of healing.' The delightfully horrific possibilities are positively—"

"Why the fuck should I tell  _you_?" she murmured without raising her head.

Black Hat paused, realizing he'd gotten carried away in his musings. He then remembered his initial plan. If he was to gain Lita's trust, he was going to have to be more…discreet. After all, she was a stubborn one. He also knew she tended not to share personal information while being intimidated. No, all the times she'd been even remotely open with him had been when they were in more…relaxed circumstances. When she was more laidback and doing casual, silly things like copying his moves.

That gave him an idea.

Crouching down to her level, Black Hat leaned his head onto his knees and dropped his grin.

"Because, Miss Gris," he said slowly, in a much softer tone, "if you tell me  _why_  getting vaccinated bothers you so much…I just  _might_  call Flug off once he finds you."

Lita raised her head slightly, still not showing her eyes. "You…won't force me to get those shots?"

He extended his right hand. "Deal."

After nearly a minute, she raised her head fully, revealing her tear-streaked face and puffy eyes. She couldn't read his strangely neutral expression, but at least he didn't seem to be mocking her anymore. She stared at his hand for a long while, and then slowly took it. They didn't shake, given their positions. Instead, he gave her hand a small squeeze, and held it there a moment. Inhaling sharply, Lita pulled her hand back.

She took a few minutes to catch her breath and wipe her tears away, contemplating what she'd say. She hadn't spoken to anyone about this, except for her father. He'd been understanding and had not forced her to get her shots. It had helped to cut their expenses, anyway. It was something so small, yet it carried so much weight.

"It's not…" She finally sputtered. "It's not that…it's painful or anything. And no, I…I wasn't abused by any doctor."

"I figured that wasn't the case," Black Hat said with a slow nod. "If it were, you wouldn't be so…calm around Flug."

She sighed. "You see…it's just…whenever a needle enters my body…whenever I so much as  _look_  at a needle, I…I'm reminded of…of…my mom."

He cocked his head to one side, not following.

"Y-You…you know she was sick, right? T-That's…that's why Papi took out the loan." She ran a hand through her ponytail, which had started coming loose. "I…I knew something was wrong with her. I'd come home from school and…she'd have…bruises…all over her arms."

Pausing, she traced a hand over her arm. "I…I knew Papi couldn't have done it. He's not that kind of guy. And he was just as concerned, and…Mom wasn't afraid of him or anything. But…I'd see her bump into a table or…or chair and she'd have this…this  _really_  big bruise that shouldn't've been that big!"

Lita's behavior towards her own bruises a few weeks ago was now starting to make much more sense to Black Hat.

"Then when she started running a fever," she continued, her voice growing quieter, "we…went to the hospital. I…I was only ten years old and…Papi told me to wait in the waiting room, but…they were taking so long and…I just wanted to know she was okay. So, I…I snuck past the doctors and…and found Mom and Papi in one of the rooms and…"

Her breathing was growing more rapid, as if she were on the verge of a panic attack. "T-They…they had this… _really_  long needle in…in my mom's hip. Her  _hip_! Her bruised…black and blue hip! And her face…her face had…so…so much  _pain_!"

She hugged her knees again. "I…I'd never seen my mom like that. So…so  _helpless_. She…she was the strongest person I knew. She…she taught me how to fight and…wasn't afraid of any robbers or muggers but…"

She snorted angrily. "Leukemia! She'd been preparing me to fight my whole life so I wouldn't get murdered in the streets, and the thing that fucking killed her was  _leukemia_!"

The tears were coming once again. "I…I still see her face. All…thin and pale and…contorted…and…screaming…every time I see…every time…"

Unable to continue, she covered her face and sobbed, not caring anymore that her boss was right there in front of her. After all, her image of a put-together woman was already destroyed as it was.

Black Hat had been watching her silently the entire time. His initial pleasure from witnessing her emotional breakdown had turned to intrigue, and a slight twinge of— _blech_ —sympathy.

Not that he  _cared_  about her feelings, but…he understood them. Oh, she had no idea  _how_  well he understood. At a young age, she'd been forced to watch the woman who was her protector, mentor and caregiver decay from a strong, capable woman into a weak, withering invalid. The needle was merely a trigger to those painful memories she'd tried so hard to suppress.

And it was rooted by a deeper fear. One Black Hat had suspected for a while. Lita had admitted she didn't fear death. What she feared was dying  _weak_ , like her mother. That's why Lita had made the effort to cover up her bruises. Not only did they trigger the memories of her mother, but they made her look vulnerable.

They made her look like her mother while dying.

That was why she always put up such a brave front. That was why she was always unfazed by his threats. Death didn't matter to her, as long as she died while putting up a fight. That gave her the delusion of control over her life. If she chose to fight back against physical forces, her death would be, in a way, planned. As opposed to her mother's death, which hadn't been planned at all.

Slowly, Black Hat realized why he liked Lita so much. Seeing her sobbing in this out-of-character fetal position, reminded him of a young boy from so long ago, who had once cried in this same position. Over a death. With that same fear of dying in a similar fashion.

She reminded him of…himself.

He wanted her to stop crying. Not that he cared, but it simply wouldn't do for her to continue fretting over this, otherwise she'd never get anywhere as a villain. If he could get over something like this, so could she. He then wondered if he should tell her about…

No. He swore he'd never tell  _anyone_  that story. He wanted her to trust him, but he didn't exactly trust  _her_. At least not  _that_  much.

But there was another story he could tell her. Another secret he kept close, but wasn't as…personal.

"I know," she said with a sniff. "I'm  _so_  pathetic. You're probably bored to tears about my stupid little…"

Moving slowly forward onto his knees, Black Hat reached out and touched Lita's shoulder. She raised her head slightly, glancing curiously at his hand. Then, releasing her shoulder, he cupped her chin and lifted her face fully to look at him. Again, she couldn't quite read his expression. His one eye bore into hers, moving around slightly as if contemplating something.

Then with his left index finger, he tapped his monocle. "You think this monocle is just for show, Miss Gris?"

She blinked at the question. Honestly, she hadn't thought much of it. Just that when they'd first met fifteen years ago, she'd suspected there was no eye behind there. Or something  _way_  more gruesome. But she hadn't considered it in all her time here.

Her eyes widened as his fingers closed around the glass.

"Go ahead," Black Hat whispered, leaning closer. "Take a peek."

Lita's heart skipped a beat as he slowly removed the monocle from his face.

There, drilled in like a black hole, was a round, empty eye socket. She didn't know what she'd expected to see. Torn remnants of an eye, the back of his skull, his brain? But there was just…nothing. Nothing but darkness.

The only thing remotely gory about it was the red scarring surrounding the socket. It was all jagged and raw, and two particularly longer lines stretched out from its top and bottom. As if something had slashed straight across his eye.

Black Hat had expected her to scream, or at least flinch. Instead, she only stared, her wide blue eyes focused on that empty hole. She didn't appear afraid. In fact, the fear surrounding her was slowly diminishing. Then again, he'd failed in all other departments to properly frighten her. Instead, she appeared curious. Her hand was even reaching upwards, as if to put her fingers in his socket.

Catching her hand, he smirked at her. "I said you could look. Not touch."

She lowered her hand. "Who…who did this to you?"

"Demon hunter." He sighed. "It'd been centuries since I'd obtained the power I have now. Naturally, I thought I was indestructible. So, when a demon hunter challenged me, I entered the battle recklessly. I didn't expect him to have a supernatural blade forged especially for…demons like me."

Lita's eyes got bigger, unbelieving that  _anything_  could inflict permanent damage on Black Hat. "What…what happened to the demon hunter?"

He chuckled darkly. "I made sure his death was slow and painful. But not before taking out  _his_  eye."

"Poetic." The smile that tugged at her lips did not escape Black Hat's notice. "And…the blade?"

He smiled in return. "Come now, do you really think I'd tell you the location of the one item that could harm me?"

She couldn't blame him for that. "Did it…hurt?"

He paused, as if to think about it. "Yes. It was the first time I'd felt any sort of pain in a long while. And when my eye didn't regenerate…well, naturally I was…taken aback."

It was obvious he was trying not to say "afraid," but Lita didn't press it out of him. He placed the monocle back over the eye socket.

"This serves as a reminder that everyone has their weaknesses." His voice grew quieter. "Even me." His gaze returned to her. "Even you."

When she felt the cold touch of his finger on her chin and he leaned in closer, she didn't pull away.

"Your mother had weaknesses too," he whispered. "But she was not weak. At least where the cancer was concerned. If she was taking treatment, sounds to me like she was fighting to stop it. It's true, she lost the battle, but she had the determination to win, even when the odds were low. I don't think that's a sign of weakness, do you?"

Lita was too stunned by his words to say anything.  _Who_  is _this guy? Definitely not my boss! He's too…he's not…he's not like this!_

As if reading her thoughts, Black Hat suddenly drew back, clearing his throat. "That said, if you  _truly_  wish not to perish like your mother from some disease, it would be wise for you to take the vaccines."

That snapped her out of her daze. "You…you said you wouldn't force—"

"Consider it a  _request_ ," he said with an impatient hiss.

She scowled at him for tricking her. Even though he hadn't technically lied. However, she didn't feel so distressed over the vaccinations anymore. She felt…weirdly comforted.

And all thanks to her demonic boss.

"I…I'll go," she said, making eye contact with him. "On one condition."

He groaned. "What?"

She shocked him by reaching out and touching his shoulder. "Will you…be there when it happens?"

He cocked his head curiously. "Why?"

"I just…" Her cheeks flushed red. "I'd, um…feel better if you were there with me."

Black Hat couldn't figure out why she was requesting this. After all, she was at her most vulnerable, and having him around for a moment like this was not a good thing.

_Well, anything to get her to stop sniveling and act like an adult._

"I won't hold your hand," he said gruffly.

"That's fine," she said with a small smile. "I don't need you to—"

The sound of the doors opening cut her off.

"Lita, I know you're in—eep!"

Black Hat turned to see Flug standing there, armed with a tranquilizer gun and backed up by two large Hatbots.

"Oh, um, s-sorry, sir!" the scientist exclaimed, hiding the weapon behind his back. "I-I was just looking for…" He then noticed the woman on the floor behind his boss. "Lita! There you are! Listen. I know you're nervous about your vaccines—"

"It's fine, Flug," Lita said, moving to stand. "Sorry, I gave you so much…"

She trailed off when Black Hat took her hand and lifted her to her feet.

"Yes, yes," he said, rolling his eye. "Enough of this nonsense and let's just get this over with."

* * *

A few minutes later, Lita was sitting on Flug's worktable while the scientist prepared the syringe.

"We'll start with the flu vaccine," he said. "Flu season may be over, but it's never too late or early for immunization." He looked to Lita. "You ready?"

Nodding, she rolled up her sleeve. Moaning sympathetically, 5.0.5. took her hand in his enormous paws.

"It's okay,  _Pachoncito_ ," she said with a soft smile. "I don't need you to hold my hand this time."

"Really?" Flug said, raising an eyebrow. "We're going to be doing at least five vaccines this morning."

He'd decided not to overwhelm her and spread the vaccines across the next couple of days. After all, her arms shouldn't be too sore if she was going to be sparring later today.

Lita looked across the room where Black Hat was standing, watching her with his hands behind his back. She nodded slowly.

"I'm ready, Flug."

"Um, okay," the scientist said, taking her arm. "Hold still."

5.0.5. had let go of her hand, so Lita had to grip the edge of the table to keep herself from flinching as the needle went into her shoulder She didn't scream, but she did whimper softly. She remained frozen in that position as Flug placed a band-aid on her and then went to prepare the next syringe.

All the while, she kept her gaze on Black Hat, remembering their earlier conversation. She paid particular attention to his monocle, picturing the emptiness behind it. If he could handle losing an eye, she could handle a few needles.

Black Hat watched with interest as she took the shots. A small amount of fear emanated from her, but not as much as before. It seemed to diminish little by little with every vaccine, with every second she looked at him.

It was strange that she had asked him to be here, yet he was starting to see why. For some reason, his presence comforted her. He was not usually a source for comfort, and would normally be infuriated by this, if it weren't for the fact that he seemed to be gaining her dependence, as he had intended.

"Alright, that's all for today," Flug said, placing down the last syringe.

Lita blinked. "Really? That was it?"

"Yup. We'll do five more tomorrow so your arm doesn't get too numb. You okay?"

She glanced back at her boss. "Y-Yeah."

The answer surprised her. But what surprised her even more was that during that entire ordeal, she hadn't once thought about her mother.

And it was all thanks to Black Hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope Black Hat isn't too OOC in this chapter.


	21. Weapon of Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita battles her demons. Um, I mean A demon.
> 
> Theme song for this chapter: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot!"

Lita had been shown the weapons vault during her orientation tour, but she hadn't actually been allowed in. So, as Flug worked the hand, eye and saliva scanners to open the tall, metal door, she waited in quiet anticipation.

She'd been looking forward to this all morning. She'd even changed into sweatpants and a tank top in preparation for the sparring session that was to come later. She couldn't wait to show Black Hat what she was  _really_  made of.

A part of her was also curious as to what kind of weapons this villainous crew carried. She'd seen Flug with his ray guns, Dementia with her giant mace, and Black Hat…well, that guy didn't  _need_  a weapon.

"Will ya hurry up, nerd?" Dementia whined impatiently.

"Well,  _excuse me_ ," Flug said, taking off his sneaker and sock to scan his foot, "if we have to take precautions because  _somebody_  likes to break in and destroy all our weapons!"

"I do  _not_  destroy 'em! I just test 'em out!"

"And destroy them in the process! Do you have any idea how expensive it is to make these things?! Why are you even here?!"

"Because  _I_  asked her to come," Black Hat said, hovering over Flug's shoulder. "And, as I've repeatedly told you, it would be prudent, Doctor, if you  _not_  question my decisions."

The scientist gulped as he put his sock and shoe back on. "W-Whatever you say, sir."

The vault door finally opened, as did Lita's mouth when she saw the infinite shelves of weapons stretched out before her.

" _¡_ _Híjole_ _!_ " she uttered.

"Welcome to Black Hat Organization's Department of Arms," Flug said, taking on that tour guide persona as he led Lita into the vault. "Here we have samples of every weapon ever made and sold by our organization, as well as some classic relics, from guns to bombs to axes—"

"Dibs on the axes!" Dementia shouted, breaking into a run.

Black Hat caught her by her ponytail, forcing her to stop. "We're not here for  _you_ , Dementia. Miss Ladrona needs to pick out her personal weapon."

" _Personal_  weapon?" Lita asked.

"You'll have access to all these weapons, yes," Black Hat explained. "But every villain has their own signature weapon, one they work with the best."

"When choosing your signature weapon," Flug said, "it is important to note that while one weapon may work for some villains, it may not work for others. For example," he walked over to a display wall of guns of all sizes, "my weapon of choice is of the shooting variation."

He picked up a gun that was bright purple and shaped like a rifle. "Highly effective. Can take out heroes from a distance, and hit multiple targets at once."

"Y-Yeah…no," Lita said, holding up a hand. "Not a big fan of guns."

The men looked at her incredulously.

"Don't tell me you're a liberal," Black Hat said gruffly.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that!" Flug said quickly. "I mean we're not exactly in America—though most of our orders come from there—but considering we're villains, you shouldn't really—"

"Ugh, I wasn't trying to be political!" Lita said, rolling her eyes. "I don't like guns because they're heavy, not very portable, they have to be reloaded every time you run out of bullets giving your opponent time to run away, and even if they're like one of those ray things you fire, if you're not careful, you could end up shooting something you don't wanna shoot or the thing could even go off in your pocket! Not to mention if you're carrying that heavy thing around during a robbery, how ya gonna carry all your loot?"

The three villains stared at her a long while. Dementia burst out laughing.

"I like the way ya think, girl!" she said. "Me, I like my fights up close and personal! Come on!"

Grabbing the other woman by the hand, she dragged her to the next aisle.

"When I'm not using the Bone Breaker or Nutcracker," Dementia said, flexing her arms, "I like to go for something big and smashy!"

She gestured to the shelves containing giant mallets, maces, axes, basically anything big and smashy.

"Basically," Dementia said, picking up a spiked bat, "I just whack my enemies over the head with whatever I can find!"

Lita ducked as she swung the bat her way. She was starting to see why Black Hat had asked Dementia to come along, so Lita could get different perspectives in choosing a weapon. Flug was smart, but not physically strong, so it made sense for him to prefer mechanical weapons he could fire without having to get too close to his enemies. Dementia, on the other hand, was more direct, and strong enough to deal with an enemy upfront.

"Here!" Dementia said, handing her an enormous battle axe with a hilt shaped like a top hat. "Give it a swing!"

Not expecting it to be so heavy, Lita cried out as the axe dropped to the floor, taking her along with it.  _Not to mention she has superhuman strength to carry this big-ass thing!_

"I-I don't…" Lita said, attempting in vain to lift the axe up. "Don't…think…"

Suddenly, the axe rose up as if by magic. At first, Lita thought Dementia had grabbed it, but she looked up to see her boss holding it with ease.

"Unfortunately," Black Hat said, tossing the axe over his shoulder, narrowly missing Dementia, "Miss Ladrona does not have your strength, Dementia."

He walked up to Lita, draping his arm over her shoulders—much to the mutant's dislike—as he led her to the next aisle. "However, like Dementia, you prefer the direct approach when confronting your enemies. But you're also cautious, and don't want your attacks to be obvious." He smirked. "Don't think I didn't notice when you first arrived. I believe you'd prefer something…smaller. But effective. After all, it's not the size of the weapon, but how you use it."

He gestured to shelves upon shelves of knives. From the size to a pocket knife to a meat cleaver. But all of them shiny. All of them sharp.

Glancing sideways, Black Hat could see Lita's baby-blue eyes going big. Her hand covered her mouth, trying to contain her amazement.

"Go on," he said with an amused smirk. "Take your pick."

Unable to keep it in any longer, she squealed and ran up to the shelves.

"These…" she said, running her fingers carefully along each blade. "These are…I've never seen…so…so many…"

Black Hat placed his hands on his hips as he watched her peruse the knives excitedly. He knew these would pique her interest. After all, he remembered the switchblade she'd threatened him with her first night here.

He couldn't blame her. Before he'd obtained his powers, Black Hat had preferred the knife himself.

Lita paused, staring at a dagger that was sheathed in gold. She reached to touch it, but hesitated. She looked back at Black Hat, who nodded in permission. Carefully, she picked up the dagger.

"Ah," Flug said, coming up to her. "I see you've found one of our antique pieces. This here is a  _djanbīyya_ , or in its Anglicized form, jambiya. It's Middle Eastern in origin, and used for…"

Drowning out Flug's lecture, Lita touched the intricately designed golden hilt and removed the knife from its scabbard. The blade was double-edged and curved. And though it was old, it glinted threateningly. She turned it over in her hand, getting a feel of its weight. Then, facing away from Flug, she sliced it through the air with a  _thrush!_  The sound was so swift, so clean.

It'd been one thing carrying around a switchblade for protection. But with  _this_ …she found herself imagining how much damage she could've done if she had fought her attackers with  _this_  baby!

"It's beautiful," she muttered, running her finger carefully over the blade's sharp edge.

Chuckling, Black Hat laid a hand on her shoulder. "Would you care to try it out?"

As he snapped his fingers, the four of them were suddenly transported to the gymnasium. Once the others had mentally adjusted to the change in surroundings, Black Hat led Lita over to the mat. As he walked to the mat's other side, Lita realized it was time for their sparring session.

"Don't bother holding back," Black Hat said, crossing his arms as he faced her. "I can't be killed, after all."

Glancing between the jambiya in her hand and her opponent, a dangerous and most likely idiotic thought crossed Lita's mind.

She smiled wickedly. "I won't if you won't."

Flug squealed from the sidelines. "Lita, what are you doing?"

Black Hat appeared stunned for a moment. Then his grin moved to match hers.

"You certain you want that, Miss Ladrona?"

"I have to practice, don't I?" Lita said, setting the scabbard down. "Have to be ready for anything."

Chuckling darkly, Black Hat began removing his coat. "Alright. But remember, you asked for it."

He tossed his coat aside, hitting Flug in the face.

"Ooh, hoo, hoo!" Dementia clapped excitedly. "Can we watch? Can we watch?" She gasped, gazing hopefully at her boss. "Are you…are you gonna take your shirt off?!"

Black Hat frowned at her. "Not for this particular fight."

Pouting, Dementia sat cross-legged on the gym floor.

"But you two can referee," the demon said, readying his claws. "Make sure I don't accidentally kill Miss Ladrona."

Squeaking, Flug lowered Black Hat's coat and glanced worriedly at Lita. But she didn't appear worried. She was turning the knife playfully in her hand, a smirk on her face.

" _Someone's_  pretty confident," she said.

Black Hat huffed. "Look who's speaking. Do you really think it wise to challenge me at my full power?"

"You think you're all that?" Laughing, Lita crouched into a fighting stance. "Well come at me then, big guy!"

"She's doomed," Flug whispered.

Dementia pulled him down to her side. "I'll bet ya she doesn't even last a minute!"

As she said this, Lita charged at Black Hat.

"Oh, wow," the mutant said in surprise. "She's actually serious."

The demon was waiting for her, of course. He rose his claw as she approached, but once she was but a foot away from him, he whipped out four tentacles from his back. Lita seemed to have been expecting this, as she ducked beneath the tentacles, holding her knife up as she slid under.

Dementia's jaw dropped—and probably Flug's, though no one could tell—as half of Black Hat's lowest tentacle dropped to the floor. Black Hat did not cry out, but he was stunned. He had not expected her to get a hit in so quickly.

As Lita got back up, Black Hat's head turned all the way round, the rest of him following a second later.

"Well, now," he said, glancing down at the stumpy tentacle, now dripping with black blood. "I see why this is your weapon of choice."

Lita's eyes widened as she watched the flesh fold over the wound she'd just made. More flesh grew, each fold closing on top of the other. Within seconds, the tentacle had completely reformed.

" _Híjole_ , that's awesome," she murmured.

"Don't get distracted now," Black Hat said, another tentacle sneaking behind her feet.

Lita jumped before he could grab her ankle. On the way back down, she sliced through the tendril, severing it.

"I won't," she said, spinning the blade in her hand. "Now that there's no surprises."

He smirked. "Want a bet?"

His face opened up, revealing a series of tentacles and buzz saws as he charged at her. His back tendrils moved to wrap around her. Not only did she duck out of the way, but after three swift slashes, a pile of black flesh flopped to the ground.

"How much?" she said, wiping the blade on her pant leg.

His claws were out as he lunged for her. Lita raised her knife, but at the last minute, a fist came out of Black Hat's stomach, punching hers hard.

"Okay," she said, stepping back and rubbing the new, numbing pain. "Wasn't expecting that one."

She could see a tentacle reaching for her arm, but she ignored it. Instead, she swung her knife at the claw that had been aiming for her face. Black Hat's hand recoiled as she cut through the glove and to his skin.

It wasn't that it was painful. Being invulnerable, a mere cut felt more like a prickle than a real injury, especially with how quickly he could reform. What alarmed him was how she seemed to be predicting his every move.

Little did he know, Lita had actually been paying attention to their sparring matches. Not just with Black Hat's lessons, but how  _he_  fought. He was overly confident, but justifiably so. He was smart, and had demonic powers not even he could keep track of. Which was probably why he wasn't revealing all his abilities just yet. However, Lita also knew how strategic he was, and that half his moves were simply fake-outs. She'd fought him enough to know when that was the case. It was easy. It was whenever he was at his cockiest.

Like her mother had always told her, you could tell a lot about a person in the way they fought.

However, since Lita had to deal with more than just the arms and legs this time, she couldn't foresee where each attack would come from. Before she knew it, her right wrist was ensnared, forcing her to drop the jambiya. Black Hat chuckled as he brought her to his face.

"Give up?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Swinging upward, she kicked him in the face, pushing against it so she could flip backward. The tentacle clutching her wrist acted as a bungee cord as she jumped down and picked up the knife. Before Black Hat even realized what was happening, she had sliced her way out of his grasp.

"Oh, my," he said, grinning at her. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Lita gave a small smile as she circled him. "So what if I am?"

He circled along with her, his tentacles slowly reforming. "Aren't you ashamed?"

"Should I be?"

"Do you think so?"

She frowned. "Why are we talking in questions?"

"What makes you think we're…?" Black Hat shook his head. "Alright, enough!"

This went on for nearly five minutes. The demon would lash out at her, and most of the time she'd narrowly avoid him, but not before gifting him with a nice new wound for him to heal. However, Black Hat didn't seem angry about it. In fact, he was laughing. As was Lita.

"I knew she could fight, but… _damn_!" Dementia said, no longer able to hide her awe. "Give the girl a knife, and she's hell in a hoodie!"

"She's not wearing a hoodie at the moment," Flug said matter-of-factly.

"Eh." She shrugged. "The alliteration worked."

For once, Black Hat agreed with Dementia. Lita had been a strong fighter before, but now, with a blade in her hand, she was clearly in her element. It seemed she had learned much from their sparring sessions, the rest from her mother. She was  _more_  than he could've anticipated. Swift, sneaky, and downright  _vicious_!

He said he wouldn't hold back, but how could he not? In reality, this fight would've ended before it even began. That would ruin the whole point of training her. So, while he'd upped his game from their previous matches, he still kept some of his stronger abilities under wraps.

After all, it wasn't as if he had any intention of killing her.

At one point, Lita found she couldn't pay attention to four tentacles and two sets of claws at once. While she was chopping off a tendril, a claw slashed her arm. Crying out, she glanced down at the three long, red streaks dripping down her shoulder. From the sidelines, Flug squeaked in worry while Dementia squealed in excitement.

For a brief moment, Black Hat flinched. Honestly, he hadn't intended on scarring her at this moment. He remembered their intense conversation earlier, and how she felt about being vulnerable. Would this leave a mark? And if so, how would she react to it?

And why did he  _care_?!

Panting, Lita covered her bleeding arm. "Sheesh, boss." The smirk surprised everyone. "If you wanted more of my blood, all you had to do was ask."

Black Hat did not let his stunned silence last long. Chuckling darkly, he teleported behind her, wrapping her in his arms and tentacles.

"Hey, that's cheating!" she shouted.

"Never expect the fight to be fair," he whispered in her ear.

She gasped as she felt his long, wet tongue run along the fresh claw marks.

"Mmm," he moaned. "Still delicious, my dear."

" _Caramba,_  you're gross!" Lita hollered, trying so hard not to laugh in spite of the situation.

While he was distracted with the taste of her blood, she elbowed him in the ribs. As he jolted backward, she found enough wriggle room to move her arm upwards, cutting through the constricting tendrils.

"Come now, my dear," Black Hat said, tightening his arms around her. "Don't you think you've maimed my tentacles enough? Come up with something a little more creative."

"Says the dude who's been using nothing but tentacles this entire fight," Lita said, struggling in his grasp.

"Hmm. You do have a point."

Effortlessly, he picked her up and tossed her vertically into the air.

"Didn't expect that one, did you?" he called up to her.

Then Lita started coming down, her knife pointing right at him. Laughing, he stepped to the side. But not far enough. Flipping forward, she thrust her legs outward, kicking him in the face. Scowling, he grabbed her legs before she could hit the floor and swung her towards the wall. Fortunately, the gymnastic rings were in her path of flight, so she grabbed them, but in doing so, dropped her knife. Lita laughed as she flipped forward on the rings, let go and dropped to the floor gracefully, snatching up her blade.

"Well, well, well," Black Hat said, appearing from the shadows behind her. "Look who's improving."

His now enlarged claws swooped down to grab her, but she tumbled out of the way.

"Learned from the best," she said as she sprang up.

"You're an excellent student," Black Hat said, his hat opening up to reveal a mass array of guns. "But you'll never surpass the master."

The guns shocked her, but after processing them, she shook her head with a scoff.

"Bring it on, old man."

"Oh, ho, ho!" he said, his fingers transforming into long, curved knives. "You're in for it now, missy!"

As the fight continued, Flug and Dementia watched from the floor, both incredibly conflicted.

Flug should've been horrified right now. After all, a coworker he'd come to like was going head-to-head against Black Hat. And even though it wasn't a serious battle, her chances of coming out alive were still…not very good.

However, the side of him that reveled in watching violence couldn't help but find the scene…wondrous. The way the demon and the girl danced around each other, finding each other's attacks amusing, it was like watching an artform. They both bled, they both bruised—though Black Hat, not for long—yet the thrill and bloodlust in their eyes never went away. It was incredible. Lita was no physical equal to Black Hat, and yet…her stamina, her strategy, were nearly equivalent to his. So much to the point it was like they were fighting  _with_  each other rather than  _against_  each other.

And their dance of destruction was…stimulating.

Flug fanned himself as he started to sweat. "H-Hey, is it, um…is it getting hot in here?"

"Err, uh," Dementia said, wiping her brow, not taking her eyes off the fight. "Kinda?"

She, too, couldn't help but admire what was unfolding before her. Lita could never beat her Black Hat, of course, but she could certainly give him a workout! And with how ruthless both of them were being, it was…kind of hot.

"Nope!" the lizard-girl exclaimed, shaking her head. "I am  _not_  getting into this! That should be  _me_  in there!"

She moved to stop this, but Black Hat's tentacle forced her back down.

"Oh, geez!" Flug cried, panicked as his hands flew to his crotch.

But it was too late. Dementia had seen the wetness that had seeped through his jeans.

"Seriously, dude?"

"I, uh," the embarrassed scientist said, standing up. "Need the bathroom."

He dashed out of the gym, his head down and his hands not leaving his private area. The duelers didn't seem to notice him, as they were now face to face. His hand held her right wrist, the jambiya an inch away from his brow. Her other hand was clutched on the tentacle around her middle.

They were both smiling widely as they made eye contact.

Dementia stood, ready to try and come between them again. However, one step, and her ankle was ensnared by a tentacle. She screamed as she was thrown through the gym's double doors.

Frankly, Black Hat was sick of the mutant's presence. His interest was on his small, but fiery opponent.

This fight had awakened something in Lita. He could see the gleam in her eyes that was different from what he'd seen in their previous matches. He knew that gleam. He saw it in the mirror every day.

It was glee. Pure, murderous glee.

She wasn't doing this out of survival anymore. Or even anger. Oh no, she was having  _fun_. She was causing injury—though not permanent—and she was enjoying herself.

Here it was. The villainous passion Black Hat had tried so hard to get out of her. He wanted to see more. He had to keep this fight going.

And Lita  _was_  enjoying herself. She wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the fact that there were no consequences to her actions, as Black Hat could heal himself. Still, the fight was unbalanced, considering she couldn't do the same. The deep scratches on her arm still stung. She knew she'd have to have Flug take a look at it. Not to mention she was panting from exhaustion.

As fun as this was, Lita couldn't help but feel a bit frustrated that she couldn't injure Black Hat as severely as he could her. He was invincible, after all.

_No, wait. He isn't!_

As she struggled against his grip, Lita eyed his monocle, remembering what lay—or rather what  _didn't_  lay—behind it.

"Had enough, Miss Ladrona?" Black Hat said cockily, tightening his grip on her knife hand. "After all, it's not like you can defeat me."

"No," Lita said, smirking. "But I can still give ya hell."

He was about to ask her meaning when she dropped her knife and caught it with her free hand. Before Black Hat realized what she was doing, she thrust the blade into his monocle, shattering it.

The agonizing sound that came out of his mouth nearly caused Lita's eardrums to burst.

As his hands flew to his eye socket and his tentacles retracted into his back, Lita was released from his hold. Black blood was trickling through his fingers and down his hands. He turned his back to her, crouched over as he seethed in pain.

Shocked at what she had done, she dropped the jambiya. The demon was legitimately in pain. She'd actually managed to  _hurt_  him! She glanced down at the blade. It was covered in black blood.  _His_ blood. Then she looked to see the same blood all over her shirt. And her hands.

Hesitantly, she picked the jambiya back up and stepped towards the demon, who was still writhing quietly.

"S-Sir?" she said, reaching out to his shoulder. "I-I didn't…I'm so sorry!"

He faced her so quickly that she jumped back in alarm. Through his fingers, she could see the glass fragments impaled within the edges of his eye socket. His good eye was scowling hard at her.

"I entrusted you," he growled, moving one hand away from his bleeding socket to form a fist, "with a deeply-guarded secret regarding my…vulnerabilities."

He snatched up her wrist. It took all her strength to keep herself from dropping her jambiya again.

"And you," he said, lowering his other hand to reveal the gory picture behind it, "took full advantage of it."

She tried not to stare at the injury for too long. "I, uh…I didn't mean to…"

Then he did something unexpected. He smiled.

"Just like a villain would do."

There was pride in his voice. It caused Lita to stiffen.

"N-No, I…"

Releasing her wrist, he chuckled. "There's hope for you yet, Miss Ladrona."

"But I…I didn't  _wanna_  hurt you!"

Her words shocked them both, though Black Hat didn't show it.

"Don't be foolish." He scoffed. " _Everyone_  wants to hurt  _me_."

" _I_  don't,"she said in a small voice.

The moment she said it, she knew it was true. She hadn't  _really_  wanted to hurt Black Hat. She'd just wanted to even the playing field. She'd thought hitting his weak spot would bug him. She hadn't thought it would actually  _hurt_  him!

Why  _didn't_ she want to hurt him? She wasn't sure. Maybe she'd just come to respect him over the past several weeks. Maybe it was because of the small comfort he'd given her earlier. Sure, he was a villain and a jerk, but she didn't  _hate_  him. At least not  _that_  much.

Black Hat raised an eyebrow at her. "Get into the habit of feeling that way towards  _all_  your opponents, and you'll find yourself losing quite easily. You can't expect your enemy to extend the same courtesy, after all."

She shook her head. "I know, I know! I just didn't wanna hurt—"

"Oh?" He cocked his head. "So you stabbed me by accident then?"

She bit her lip. "N-No."

"And you  _weren't_ ," he said, picking fragments of glass out of his eye socket, "aiming for my missing eye? The very weak spot I had revealed to you not a few hours ago?"

"W-Well, I…"

"Admit it. You  _wanted_  to hurt me."

He cupped her chin, forcing her to look into the bloody hole in his head. The blood was now dripping over his mouth, staining his sickly grinning fangs.

Black Hat wanted to prove a point. To do that, he had to bring back that sadistic spark that had ignited within her.

"Can't say I particularly blame you after all I've put you through," he said nonchalantly. "After all, I  _did_  abduct your father, make you into my slave, work you to the bone, punish you unjustly, not to mention all the times I've struck you in sparring."

He brought her face closer, taking note of how much heavier her breathing had gotten. "Don't you want to return the favor? Make me suffer like I've made  _you_  suffer? Or perhaps you're too cowardly to even tr—"

The sudden slashing across his throat cut him off. Lita stepped away from him, her eyes wide and glossy as they stared in horror at the oozing slit in Black Hat's neck.

The demon only snickered as the wound closed up. "Well, well, Miss Ladrona. If I weren't immortal, that could've killed me."

Lita glanced down at the knife, now completely soaked in black blood. She'd stabbed people before. She'd slashed their arms, their sides, their balls, but never the throat. Black Hat was right. People could survive a minor stabbing, but a slit throat…that death was almost instantaneous.

And she hadn't even thought about it. Just one impulse of anger, and she'd slit his throat.

"And how did  _that_  make you feel?"

She didn't answer. She was still shaking from the adrenaline.

One hand took her shoulder, the other taking her chin by the finger.

"How did that make you feel?" he whispered slowly. "You're not leaving until you tell me."

Hyperventilating, she struggled to get the words out. "It…it felt…it felt…"

"Yes?" he said, his icy breath causing her to shake more.

Lita gulped. "G-Good."

"I thought so." His grin widened in satisfaction. "You're more like me than you realize."

Turning her face away, she murmured, "I don't hurt people for fun."

"But you  _want_  to. Don't you?"

She stepped back. "Not unless they deserve it."

Black Hat laughed. "You'll come to discover that  _everyone_  deserves punishment for  _something_."

She was silent for a moment. "You're right." She looked him boldly in the eye. "You  _did_  deserve that."

That wiped the smile from his face.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," she said, holding up the bloody blade, "I'm gonna go clean this off."

 _And have Flug patch up my arm_ , she thought, clutching her injury.

Black Hat narrowed his eye at her as she walked away. "You're going to be making your first kill eventually! Might as well start getting used to it!"

The flinch in her shoulders did not escape his notice. But she made no reply as she pushed through the gym doors, leaving Black Hat to pick out the remaining pieces of glass, wincing as he did so.

He'd been right. The woman was a sadist. Like him. A sadist in denial, but that could easily be remedied. Soon she'd be working for him not because she had to, but for the pure pleasure of it. If only that moral grayness of hers weren't in the way.

Oh, but she was on her way to the dark side. He really should be upset about her betraying his trust, and striking his weak spot. But it didn't matter, as long as his plan was working.

Though her admission had been strange. That she had no desire to harm him. He didn't know why. Everyone in this world either hated or feared him. Sometimes both. Even Dementia, who adored him, was often aggressive in her affections. He shivered at the memory of her ambushing him with a love bite.

But how could anyone  _not_  want to hurt him? Not that they  _could_. Save for his eye, anyway.

Although he couldn't understand it, perhaps it was a blessing. He wanted Lita's dependence, didn't he? Indeed, there were many small victories today. He'd seen Lita Gris at her most vulnerable,  _and_  her most sadistic.

It was only a matter of time that she'd become the villain she was born to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh! Why are fight scenes always the hardest to write!
> 
> I noticed when it came to weapons, Flug normally used some high-tech gun while Dementia used bats, axes, maces...yeah, big and smashy stuff. So, Lita had to have a different weapon of choice and, of course, a knife was easier for her to hide in her pocket. And like it says in this chapter, matched her personality.
> 
> And, uh...yeah, Flug is as much a sadist as everyone else in this fic.


	22. Meetings and Midnight Melodies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita meets with a client...and a rude awakening!
> 
> Get ready for the crossover aspect "Villainous" is famous for!

Days turned into weeks, which quickly turned into months, and Lita had grown accustomed to her bizarre situation. The routine was easy to fall into: get up, eat breakfast, complete list of daily chores, lunch, engage in deadly combat, dinner, then bed. Unless there was a heist that night.

Her training sessions were getting less tiring with the continued practice. Though still challenging, now that she was introduced to a new weapon every other day. She still preferred the knife, though it was kind of fun trying her hand at other weapons. She particularly liked the fencing lessons from Black Hat.

Even her cooking was getting better, thanks to guidance from 5.0.5. and Flug. She still kept to simple recipes like pasta, eggs and soup, but she'd had enough practice not to have someone looming over her shoulder all the time. Still, the fear of accidentally burning the food or Dementia slipping in an explosive again lingered.

Fortunately, cabin fever wasn't so much a problem anymore with Black Hat planning a heist at least once a week. The objects were always small, but valuable and heavily guarded. From rare jewels to art pieces to equipment Flug needed for his experiments.

Then there were her colleagues. Flug, of course, was pleasant company and good for conversation. He would go on and on about his experiments, though Lita noticed he never revealed anything about his personal life. Although 5.0.5. couldn't talk, his presence alone was comforting, and he and Lita had spent several evenings before bed playing video games. Even Dementia had become more tolerable. She didn't seem as hostile as before, though there was the occasional childish prank that Flug said was to be expected from her. Lita had also noticed that since her weapons-wielding privileges were approved, Dementia had seemed more…nervous around her. Perhaps the lizard-girl had finally realized that Lita wasn't someone you wanted to mess with.

As for Black Hat…he was still a mystery. They were  _all_  mysteries, but Lita at least knew where her relationships stood with the others. But her boss was too much an enigma for her to figure out. Some days, he would be a grumpy old tyrant threatening to wring her neck if she didn't do as she was told. Other days, he would act like a gentleman, praising her progress. There were even days he'd insist she'd spend time with him. "For training," he always said. She had no reason to question it, as it was usually an unplanned sparring or chess match. But they seemed to be happening more frequently as of late.

What was even more puzzling was how she felt about all this attention from Black Hat. Dementia obviously despised Lita for it, but how did  _Lita_  feel? Well, she wasn't exactly sure. She didn't hate it. The demon actually wasn't so horrible to be around, as long as you didn't make him mad. What she didn't like was his pressuring her to be eviler. Was her stealing not enough for him? He hadn't yet ordered her to do anything drastic, but it was only a matter of time.

That was the biggest downside to her situation. Although she was getting along with her colleagues, and actually taking some pleasure in her work, she had no freedom. She couldn't choose her own path. She never left the mansion without supervision, and it was only for heists. Flug ran errands in town, 5.0.5. took Dementia out for walks, and all three of them had special missions of their own.

And she missed her father. Phone calls weren't enough. And they certainly weren't private, so Lita couldn't get everything off her chest to him. She wanted to see him in person, even if for a short while.

Lita pondered over all of this as she conducted her chores for the day, a yellow kerchief keeping her hair out of her face. She didn't mind cleaning, as it kept her busy, and gave her time to think.

With Flug, Dementia and 5.0.5. out on a hero-capturing mission, the mansion was especially quiet. Not that Lita was particularly interested in taking out heroes, but she couldn't help but wonder exactly what went on during those missions, especially what purpose non-violent 5.0.5. served.

The only job worse than feeding unidentifiable meat to the flytraps in the greenhouse was bathroom duty. Lita sighed in exasperation upon entering the bathroom next to Dementia's room. Toilet paper was everywhere, the ceiling, the walls, the sink. "BATHZ R 4 DORKZ" was spray-painted on the wall next to the tub. The worst was the toilet itself, wrapped up like a mummy and covered in pee.

"Honestly," Lita murmured, grabbing a trash bag and toilet brush from her cleaning cart. "Is she even housebroken?"

She was in the middle of scrubbing the toilet bowl when suddenly, water shot out of the toilet, forming a large hand. Before Lita could gasp, the watery hand snatched her up and she had to close her mouth to keep herself from swallowing as she was pulled into the toilet.

Barely five seconds went by that Lita suddenly found herself in Black Hat's office, behind his desk, soaking in toilet water. Thankfully, she'd already flushed the pee-drenched toilet paper.

Her boss sat in his chair beside her, chuckling at her ridiculous state. Scowling, she placed her hands on her hips.

"You could've just called!"

"Now, now, Miss Ladrona," Black Hat said, tossing a towel into her face. "Is that any way to behave in front of a client?"

Lowering the towel, Lita was shocked to discover someone sitting in the chair across from Black Hat. The man was clearly not human, as his skin was blue and his bald head was the size of a watermelon. He looked like one of those stereotypical space aliens. His outfit screamed evil villain, as it was made of black leather, studded with spikes and accessorized with a high collar cape. His bulbous head was tilted to the side as his green eyes looked strangely at Lita. Embarrassed that she was drenched in toilet water, she quickly began drying herself off.

 _I'm_ so _taking a_ long _shower after this!_

"You didn't tell me we had company," she murmured to her boss.

"Mr. Megamind here has a problem with a…seemingly indestructible hero," Black Hat said, turning to his client. "Perhaps, Miss Ladrona, you can lend us a fresh perspective."

" _That's_  your evil henchgirl?" the villain, Megamind, said, raising an eyebrow. "She looks more like a  _maid_  than a minion."

Lita's face turned red at that comment. It was true, she was dressed for cleaning in her t-shirt, jeans, kerchief and rubber gloves. However, being Latina, she didn't quite appreciate being called a  _maid_ , when cleaning wasn't her main duty.

"How do you know I wasn't cleaning up a dead body?" she said flatly, stretching the towel out in her hands.

Megamind stared at her with wide eyes, clearly intimidated. Black Hat snorted with laughter.

"Lita Ladrona is my latest recruit," he said, gesturing to her proudly. "As you have probably gathered, she's not as innocent as she looks. But she is still learning, so I hope you don't mind her joining us."

Lita thought this was a little strange. She'd never interacted with clients before. Every time the doorbell had rung, Black Hat had ordered that she complete a task as far away from his office as possible. She never questioned it, as she had no interest in his villainous clients, and based on Megamind's reaction to her, she figured it was for appearance's sake. It didn't explain why 5.0.5. was allowed around clients, though.

Then it occurred to her that everyone else was out of the house at the moment. So, whatever the problem was, Black Hat must've been desperate for help to call upon her without warning. She wasn't sure how helpful she'd be though, as she didn't know anything about defeating heroes.

Megamind seemed to be wary of her capability too, as he rolled his eyes. "Whatever. So long as she doesn't interrupt me like  _some_  women I know."

Black Hat sent her a warning, sideways glance, as if to say, "Do not speak, unless spoken to."

Nodding, Lita stood erect at her boss' side with her hands behind her back.

"Mr. Megamind," Black Hat said, "tell Miss Ladrona what you just told me."

The client let out an exasperated sigh, as if he'd told this story numerous times. "It all began when I was eight days old and my home planet was being sucked into a black hole…"

"…and despite  _me_  being superior in intellect, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes somehow manages to foil all my plans! Oh, sure, he has brute strength, fancy flying and amazing hair, but can he solve the square root of 47.59? No, I assure you, he cannot!"

It took all Lita's willpower, and customer service experience, to keep her smile up. Megamind had been ranting for what felt like hours. Honestly, this guy's ego could rival Black Hat's.

"Black Hat Organization has dealt with heroes of all levels of power," Black Hat said in a calm but clearly tired voice. "Even the seemingly overpowered ones have weaknesses."

"I've tried  _everything_!" Megamind exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. "Hacksaws, lasers, spikes,  _Spi-ider_  Bots, Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Kittens…"

Lita glanced sideways at her boss. The disgruntled look he gave her seemed to say, "See what I'm dealing with?"

"But it doesn't even leave a scratch!" Megamind shouted. "The man is completely invulnerable!"

" _No_   _one's_  invulnerable," Black Hat said, his gaze still on Lita. "Does this Metro Man have someone he cares about?"

The client seemed to perk up at this question. "Yes, yes. His girlfriend. A nosy reporter by the name of Roxanne Ritchi." He groaned. "But I've already kidnapped her  _numerous_ times!"

Black Hat raised an eyebrow. "You mean you haven't killed her yet?"

Megamind stiffened. "K- _Killed_  her? W-Why would I…? How would I lure Metro Man in if I killed her?"

The demon sighed. "He's a hero. Literally  _any_  ordinary citizen he's sworn to protect would serve as effective bait."

"B-But he'd be even  _more_  inclined to protect his girlfriend! He comes flying every time she's in trouble!"

"But if she were  _dead_ ," Black Hat said slowly, circling his hands in the air for emphasis, "he'd be in  _mourning_ , ergo too  _emotional_  to continue his heroic work effectively."

His nonchalance about this made Lita uncomfortable, but she had to admit he had a point. The best way to get under someone's skin was to go after someone they cared about. However, from the way Megamind was biting his lip, he didn't seem too keen on the idea of murdering this Roxanne Ritchi.

"I-It would be too much of a hassle to find a new kidnapping victim!" he insisted. "I-I'd have to find the ideal candidate, find out where they live, learn what intimidates them…"

Black Hat rolled his eye. "You find someone to abduct, and then you render them unconscious and immobile. It's not rocket science!"

"Yes, it is! Do you have any idea how long it took me to perfect a knock-out spray that didn't contain any toxins and didn't leave Miss Ritchi unconscious for too little or too long?"

"Didn't contain any…?" The demon facepalmed himself. "Who  _cares_  if the victim is intoxicated?! It only makes your job easier!"

"Oh no. Last time I gave Miss Ritchi a faulty spray, she was more a blabbermouth than usual."

Black Hat frowned. "What do you mean  _more than usual_?"

Megamind groaned. "That annoying woman won't stop talking! She's always interrupting my villainous monologues, criticizing my ingenious inventions, and spoiling my plans to Metro Man during our video calls!"

"Have you considered cutting out her tongue?" Black Hat asked flatly, pressing his fingertips firmly together. "Or at least  _gagging_  her?"

"Nonsense!" Megamind huffed. "How are we supposed to engage in witty back-and-forth banter if she can't speak?"

The demon slammed his fists on his desk. "She's supposed to be your  _victim,_  you fool! Not your  _dinner guest_!"

As the two men went back and forth, Lita noticed Megamind's blue face taking on a peculiar shade of purple. It seemed to grow darker the more he talked about this reporter.

"Miss Ladrona!" Black Hat shouted suddenly, making her jump. "Kindly explain to Mr. Megamind why he should discontinue his abduction of a disruptive victim!"

Lita didn't answer right away. She'd concluded why this villain was so insistent on continuing his kidnapping of this particular woman. But she knew her boss wouldn't like the reason.

"Oh, um…" Lita bit her lip. "Actually, boss, I was wondering…why don't you just get Flug and the others to take this, uh, Metro Man out?"

"Poppycock!" Megamind crossed his arms. "I will  _not_  give someone else the glory of defeating  _my_  archnemesis!"

"It would take  _me_  less than two minutes," Black Hat mumbled under his breath.

The client stood out of his seat. "You dare insinuate that I, Megamind, the Master of All Villainy, am incompetent?!"

Black Hat also stood. "You think  _you're_  the Master of All Villainy?! I'll have you know I've single-handedly defeated  _thousands_  of heroes! And you've defeated…how many was it again?"

Megamind slammed his hands on the desk. " _You've_  never faced a foe like Metro Man!"

"If I had, he would be dead already!"

Lita knew if she didn't come up with something fast, one of them wasn't going to make it out alive. Of course, that was going to be the one who wasn't immortal. The gears started turning in her head, trying to come up with a solution that would satisfy both her boss and the client.

"I built my own Dehydration Gun when I was six!" Megamind said, whipping out a glowing blue ray gun.

Black Hat huffed. "My Dr. Flug built one of those when he was  _five_!"

"Yes, but does  _his_  have multiple settings?!"

_Great, now they're comparing weapons._

"Hey, um, boss?" Lita said.

"You mass-produce  _your_  guns," Megamind said, pointing, "but  _mine_  are homemade!"

"Excuse me?"

"And tacky, if you ask me!" Black Hat said.

Megamind gasped. "Well,  _excuse_  me if  _you_  didn't grow up in a prison and had to make everything out of—"

Scowling, Lita put two fingers in her mouth and whistled loud enough to silence the men. They turned to her, both looking annoyed.

"If you girls are finished bickering," she said, clearing her throat, "I have an idea."

Megamind scoffed. "I thought I said no inter—"

"Would you like to hear it or not?" she said, shooting him a warning look.

He shut his mouth and sat down. Half-impressed, Black Hat also sat back in his seat. Both gazes were on Lita, pressuring her to continue. She took a deep breath.

"Okay. So, you say this, uh, Roxanne has a big mouth, right?"

"Right," Megamind said slowly, not sure where she was going with this.

"Why not…use it to your advantage?"

She glanced at her boss, unable to read his expression. His hand gestured for her to go on.

"I mean," she said, twiddling her fingers, "if she's, uh…always blabbing your plans to Metro Man, if she, err, thought the plan was different than what it  _really_  was, you could…you know, trick Metro Man into thinking…"

Megamind's eyes widened. "Yes, yes! I see what you're saying!" His fingers entwined as he pondered aloud. "What if…what if…what if I took her somewhere, made it look like somewhere else, so…when Metro Man shows up at the  _other_ place to save her, when she's at the  _fake_  place with me…I'll spring my trap!"

Lita sighed, relieved that he'd caught on to her thinking.

"You'd be making the victims think they have the upper hand," Black Hat said thoughtfully, "when in reality, it is  _you_  pulling the strings." He locked gaze with Lita. "Brilliant."

"Oh," Megamind said with a groan. "But I wouldn't be able to trap him for long! I still don't know his weakness!"

"Perhaps my scientist can come up with a few ideas in that department. He's away on business at the moment, but if you don't mind coming back a little later…"

Megamind nodded. "Yes, yes. Let's see…they'll be opening the new Metro Man museum in a few months. That'll give me plenty of time to… How does next week sound?"

After a minute of scheduling talk, both men stood up and shook hands.

"It's been a pleasure meeting with you, Lord Black Hat," Megamind said. "Oh! How much do I owe you?"

Black Hat grinned mischievously. "We'll discuss payment  _after_  your hero is defeated."

"Yes, yes, of course." He turned to Lita to shake hands with her. "You as well, Miss Ladrona, have been especially helpful!"

"You're welcome, Mr. Megamind." She smiled politely. "Good luck with your murder plan."

He turned back to Black Hat. "I see why you keep her around."

Black Hat couldn't tell if he was referring to Lita's ingenuity, or her sense of humor. Frankly, he found both qualities appealing.

"Thank you." The demon leaned forward. "Now get out."

Once the client had left—quite hastily—Black Hat faced his subordinate. "Not too shabby for your first consultation. Though next time," he said as the room grew darker, "you could avoid the  _rude_  interruptions."

Lita placed her hands on her hips. "Well, sorry, but  _someone_  had to stop your dick-measuring contest!" She glanced at the door. "Are  _all_  you villains that egotistical, or do you just act that way around women?"

Black Hat grunted, but didn't hide the smirk forming on his face. "I was about to give up on that idiot. Your advice was the only one he'd listen to. Why that fool doesn't take  _my_  advice and just kill the reporter or kidnap someone else is beyond me!"

"I think I know," she said, leaning onto his desk.

"Then by all means," he said sarcastically, "enlighten me!"

"He likes her."

Black Hat looked at her incredulously. "What?"

"It was pretty obvious," she said, crossing her arms, "though I doubt he knows it himself, with his reaction to your suggestion to killing her. Not to mention he was so excited and blushing when he talked about her."

"That's…ridiculous." The demon shook his head. "She's the  _hero's girlfriend!_ "

Lita shrugged. "We can't help who we're attracted to. I'm telling you. He says he kidnaps her just for bait, but it's like you said, any citizen can fill that role. He just likes having her around. That's the  _real_  reason he kidnaps her, and doesn't want to really harm her at the same time."

Black Hat narrowed his eye, unimpressed with her conclusion. "If your… _assumption_  is correct, this man is not worth my time."

She rolled her eyes. "So he has a little crush, so what?"

"So  _what_?!" he exclaimed. "Rule 10V3 is there for a reason! A villain should focus more on defeating his nemesis! Not flirting with kidnapping victims!"

She snorted. "Oh, like  _you've_  never flirted with  _your_  victims!"

He knew precisely what she was alluding to. "Not  _sincerely_."

He sat down and grabbed the newspaper on his desk.

"You mean to tell me you've  _never_  found  _anyone_  attractive in your life?" Lita asked, finding it hard to believe with how old he was. "Not even a little?"

"Bah!" Black Hat opened up the paper and pretended to read. "I'm sure by human standards, you're plenty attractive, but I couldn't possibly care less!"

Lita raised an eyebrow at him. "That's…not what I asked.

He was lucky his flushed expression was hidden behind the paper.

"Don't you have toilets to clean?" he asked gruffly.

Recalling how she'd gotten here, Lita held up her hands as she left. "I'll  _walk_ , thank you very much."

* * *

A harsh, discordant pounding jolted Lita out of her dreamless sleep. After taking a few seconds to process her surroundings, she realized it was organ music. Groaning, Lita grabbed her pillow and slammed it over her head.

She'd heard Black Hat's organ playing before. Sometimes, the music would echo through the halls, loud enough for someone to hear on the top floor—and three blocks down, she figured. It was stimulating while doing her chores, but right now it was the middle of the night, and Black Hat's current choice of song was loud and disruptive.

She wouldn't put it past him if he had woken her up on purpose.

Unable to block out the incessant banging, Lita threw off her pillow and comforter and jumped out of bed. "Enough is enough!"

As she stomped out of her room and to the elevator, Lita contemplated what she was doing. On one hand, yelling at Black Hat to keep the noise down probably wasn't the smartest idea. On the other hand, her rude interruption from sleep had made her really,  _really_  cranky! Villain or not, there was such a thing as common courtesy!

 _Just because_ he _doesn't need to sleep, doesn't mean he has to keep the rest of us awake!_

She wondered if the others were awake too. They probably didn't want to be the ones to bother—and possibly anger—Black Hat. But Lita wasn't scared. If she wasn't going to get any sleep, she might as well complain about it.

The elevator opened up at the basement level, which was really just evil talk for "dungeon." The torchlit stone-walled hallway didn't creep Lita out as she stomped down it. She didn't even acknowledge Black Hat's monster-sized clone as it roared at her from his cell. The only sound that mattered to her was the melodious racket coming from the large, wooden double-doors at the very end.

As Lita pulled on the metal rings to open the doors, she started to shout, "Would you mind keeping it d—?!"

The next chord was so loud, the doors flew wide open, knocking Lita backwards to the floor. Growling, Lita stood back up and smoothed out the front of her white pajamas.

_Oh boy, am I gonna give him a hell of an earful!_

She stomped into the organ chamber, which was really more like an underground cavern, with a small river flowing in through a sewer drain, curving into a semi-circle. A red carpet stretched from the entrance up some stone steps. At the top of those steps was the massive instrument of disruption, its owner seated at the bench.

The best way Lita could describe the organ was if steampunk and horror had blended into a single instrument. The metal pipes curved up and outwards, and were so large it was no wonder Lita could hear the music from all the way upstairs. The pipes at the very top were carved into the shapes of skeleton torsos, crowning an emblem of a skull wearing a black top hat. Needless to say, it suited him.

Lita started marching up to him, prepared to shout at him to keep the noise down! That he should be more considerate of people trying to sleep! Especially those that had to get up early in the morning to work for  _him_! Yes, that's what she would say!

She hadn't even made it to the steps when she paused.

If Black Hat had heard her come in, he hadn't acknowledged her, as he was so invested in his playing. It suddenly occurred to Lita that she'd never seen Black Hat play. Heard it, yes, but never actually seen him at the organ.

He was hunched over, exerting all his force on the keys, most likely to make it as loud as possible. And yet, his fingers moved swiftly, so much so that they seemed to fly. Lita watched as his arms stretched to reach the keys on the higher board and made them longer to get the ones on the very ends. With every key played, green light shot out of their corresponding pipes.

Now that she was a little more awake, Lita recognized the song, and wasn't really surprised Black Hat would choose something both classical and eerie. She then noticed he didn't even have sheet music in front of him, just an array of lit black candles. He must've known the song by heart. And he played it…pretty well, actually. Loud, but powerful. His fingers didn't miss a beat, and not a single note was without passion.

The sight was…surreal. Like a scene out of  _The Phantom of the Opera._  With his back turned to her, she considered pulling a Christine. Only since there was no mask to remove, maybe she could take off his hat. He was never without it, and she wondered what was underneath. Maybe an embarrassing bald spot? She laughed internally at the thought. It would be the  _perfect_  way to get back at him for waking her up!

Before she could even take a step forward, however, Black Hat suddenly stopped playing. His head then spun a hundred-eighty degrees, a wide grin on his face.

"Holy shit!" Lita shouted as she stumbled backward.

"Don't even think about it," he hissed, lifting his legs as he spun the rest of his body around.

She held a hand over her heart as she tried to get over the shock. "W-What are you—?"

"I've read  _The Phantom of the Opera_ ,  _and_  seen the stage adaptation  _and_  its inferior film," he said, pressing his fingertips together. "Don't deny that you were tempted to do  _something_  mischievous while my back was turned. Unluckily for you, I heard you coming the moment you got off the elevator."

 _How does he hear_  anything _with that noise?_

He whirled back to face his organ. "Don't you have work in the morning?"

Remembering why she was here, Lita crossed her arms. "Yeah? Well, it's hard to sleep with all that racket you're making!"

Chuckling, Black Hat traced his finger across the lower keyboard. "Did I wake you, then?"

"You kidding?" She stomped up the steps. "The whole  _island_  is probably awake by now! Would it kill ya to keep it down?!"

He glanced back at her out of the corner of his eye. Her face was flushed with fury. He'd be angry at her for trying to command him if she didn't look so adorable right now.

"I suppose…it wouldn't," he said innocently.

"So you'll stop playing?" Lita demanded. "Or at least be quieter?"

He pretended to think about it. "No."

To prove his point, Black Hat slammed down onto the keys. This chord was so loud, Lita covered her ears in an attempt to stop them from ringing. Black Hat cackled at her misery.

"Since you're awake, Miss Ladrona, why not stay?" he said. "I do like an audience."

Lita huffed as he continued where he left off, still at an impossible volume. She was still enraged at him, but she couldn't help but admire how he was able to just pick up the song again without even pausing to recall. Sighing, she walked up to him and watched his fingers fly. Up close, she could see them extending where necessary, not only allowing him to reach the keys, but to put more pressure on them, which would explain how he was able to play so easily at such a high volume.

Realizing yelling wasn't going to get him to stop, Lita decided to try a different approach. Maybe if she bothered him with idle chat, he'd have no choice but to stop playing so she could go back to bed, or at least be too distracted by her to continue.

"That's Bach, right?" she said, pointing to the keys. "'Toccata and Fugue in D minor?'"

He stopped playing.  _Huh, that was easy._

Black Hat turned to her, wearing a look of pleasant surprise. "I'm impressed. Not many humans know what the piece is actually called."

_Okay, so he's not annoyed, but at least he's stopped._

"My mom was a music teacher, remember?" Lita said. "Back before we sold our piano, she'd play all sorts of classical music."

She smiled slightly at the memory of her mother sitting at her piano, Lita's younger self sitting beside her on the bench as she listened.

"Is that so?" Black Hat said, a playful smile on his lips. "Well, then. Are you familiar with…?"

Without taking a breath—not that he needed to breathe—he slammed the lower keyboard, playing eight specific chords.

"That one's easy," Lita said with a small laugh. "Beethoven's 5th."

"Very good." Black Hat's shoulders relaxed. "How about this one?"

The next melody he played was softer, though at the tempo he was playing it still sounded chaotic.

"'In the Hall of the Mountain King,'" Lita said. "Mom used to play that every Halloween."

Black Hat chuckled as he started a new song. This was one often played at funerals. It had been played at Lita's mother's funeral.

"I, uh," she said, her smile dropping, "forgot the name, but…I know it's by Chopin."

"Piano Sonata No. 2 in B-flat minor," he said, keeping his gaze on her as he continued at an…oddly slower tempo. "Your mother had excellent taste."

"Yeah," Lita said quietly. "She liked all types of music, of course, but she always said music would be nothing today without the classical composers."

"She's correct." His playing was growing softer too. "I must say, the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries were indeed my favorite. Such exquisite art, music, bloody revolutions…"

"Would explain your taste in fashion," she said, eyeing his tailcoat and spats. "Did you spend a lot of time in Victorian England or something?"

"I spent a whole European tour those two centuries." He chuckled throatily. "Not sure what it is about that particular continent, but it breeds the most malicious of souls."

"You're not wrong," Lita said, shivering as she recalled the Mexican History lessons on the colonial period.

"Take that Napoleon Bonaparte, for instance. Now  _there_  was a conqueror! What he lacked in stature he made up for in military strategy." He huffed. "If only he'd listened to me about that blasted Battle of Waterloo being a lost cause from the beginning!"

"You knew Napoleon?"

"Napoleon, Stalin, Lenin, I knew them all."

"Even," Lita said, looking at him uneasily, "H-Hitler?"

Black Hat scoffed. "That fool had the charisma, but the brains of a four-year-old! He didn't realize that by eradicating every single religious, ethnic, and sexual minority in the world, there'd hardly be anyone left to rule over! Not that I minded the waste he laid to Europe, but it was all poorly planned, just poorly planned."

 _Wow_ , Lita thought.  _Not how_ I _would describe the gruesome massacre of millions of innocents, but…he called Hitler an idiot so I guess it's okay?_

"A  _real_  conqueror murders  _without_  prejudice."

_Okay, time to change the subject._

"You're pretty good at that organ, boss," she finally admitted. "Is that the only instrument you play?"

"I've learned to play every instrument known to man." He smirked at her. "Or woman."

"Right." She looked up at the massive organ. "No sleep, lots of free time."

"But I find the organ…stimulating. I also keep a violin."

"You'll have to show me that sometime."

Lita silently cursed herself.  _Why the hell did I say that?_

"Perhaps." Once he finished the sonata, Black Hat turned his body towards her. "Do  _you_  play?"

"Eh." Lita made a so-so sign with her hand. "Mom tried to teach me piano, but…it didn't stick as much as the fighting. I do remember one song though."

Scooting to his left, Black Hat patted the space beside him.

"Oh no." She held up her hands. "Trust me, it's not a song you'd like, boss."

"Humor me," he said, gesturing to the instrument.

In truth, Black Hat had been starving for entertainment all night, hence why he was at the organ. If he woke anyone up…well, he'd have the pleasure of annoying them. He hadn't expected Lita to actually come down and demand that he be silent. But then again, she was full of surprises.

It'd been so long since he'd discussed classical music with anyone. Flug had learned the flute, but was always too nervous around Black Hat to make any small talk; and Dementia had that annoying electric guitar of hers. Only reason he hadn't crushed that guitar was because it annoyed Flug too. But Lita actually knew the songs Black Hat enjoyed playing and seemed to have an appreciation for them. He was interested to see what little musical talent she possessed.

After all, he needed a good laugh.

"Okay," Lita said as she sat down beside him. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Placing her index fingers on the lower keyboard, she tried her best to transfer her piano knowledge to organ. She figured the keys were similar. Sighing, she played the first few notes of "Chopsticks." Black Hat snorted as she played the childish tune. She wasn't used to the extra pressure that needed to be placed on organ keys, so it was amusing watching her struggle.

"Told ya," she said, gazing up at the green light shooting out of the pipes. "Huh. Didn't sound this…scary on the piano."

"That's what I admire about the organ," he said, looking up at his instrument proudly. "It can make  _anything_  sound terrifying." He glanced down with a smirk. "Especially when you can do this."

He pressed down on one of the foot pedals. Lita jumped as a low, echoing note was added to her choppy playing.

"Oh wow," she said. "That  _does_  sound cool."

Black Hat placed his hands on the lower keys and played a few sharp chords to accompany hers. She noticed him hit a few flats, making the melody much more discordant. Laughing, Lita pressed some black keys herself where they were not needed. With a chuckle, Black Hat slithered his arm beneath hers, stretching it far enough to reach the highest note at the very end. He hit it several times in a staccato, enough to hurt Lita's ears. But she didn't mind, it only made her laugh more.

The song didn't sound anything like "Chopsticks" anymore. By this point, Lita had abandoned the score and was hitting random keys, but Black Hat's improvisation was making it sound…well, good. The music was all over the place, and loud as hell, but it didn't sound like noise to Lita. The cacophony they were making was chaotic, but also…playful. She was pretty sure the entire island was awake by now, but she didn't care, she was having so much fun!

She understood why he'd chosen to come down here in the middle of the night. There was some thrill to feeling such powerful vibrations at your fingertips, and to hear them pound in your ears at the same time. It made you feel alive, in control. And when there was so much sound echoing around you, nothing else mattered. In this case, not even the notes mattered.

Just then, a cold feeling on her left hand snapped Lita out of her thoughts. There was silence as she looked to see Black Hat's gloved hand over hers.

Then she suddenly remembered who was next to her.

She looked up at his face, and found that he was staring at her. His eye was wide and his mouth was in a small, straight line. For a second, Lita thought he was going to yell at her for getting in his way, but he remained silent. In fact, he didn't seem angry at all.

Realizing their hands were still touching, Lita blushed as she yanked hers away.

"I, um…" She rubbed her hand in an attempt to warm it. "I should be getting back to bed."

But before she could turn around, Black Hat snatched her right arm and she found herself locking gaze with him again.

"Stay."

His tone was…strange. It wasn't harsh like a command, but…soft, like a…plea?

Lita blinked in confusion. "B-But…I have work in—"

"I'm your boss," he said sternly. " _I'll_  say when you have work."

With no other argument to make, Lita simply nodded. Releasing her arm, Black Hat began a new song. The peaceful melody caused the woman to raise an eyebrow.

"'Moonlight Sonata?'"

"It's Beethoven," he said simply.

She placed her hands on her lap. "I just didn't expect you to be into the…well, it's not about death or anything."

"I can still appreciate the melody," Black Hat said with a growl. "And I'm in the mood for it."

"Makes sense," she said with a shrug. "Sometimes I'll be in the mood for some classic rock. Or Taylor Swift."

She felt the disapproving gaze before she saw it.

"What? Her songs are relatable to a girl like me."

"That woman's a bit too perky for my taste, but…I can appreciate her vengeful streaks."

She raised an eyebrow, surprised that he would know any of her music at all.

"As you've said, I have a  _lot_  of free time." He smirked. "I may be partial to composers like Beethoven, but I will admit this last century has bred a  _few_  geniuses. Like that Bowie fellow and the one that calls himself Voltaire."

Lita giggled. "'When You're Evil'  _is_  pretty much your theme song, isn't it?"

"I'd play it on here, but it's better suited for violin."

She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she watched him play some more. There was no denying how casual this felt. Making small talk with her boss while he played the organ. Reminded her of those evenings she'd spend with her mother at the piano. It was…kind of nice. And weird, seeing a murderous demon play an instrument so passionately. What he'd said about being in the mood reminded her of something her mother had once said.  _Real musicians play what's in their hearts. When their mood changes, so does the music._

If he was playing something so tranquil as "Moonlight Sonata," a big jump from the harsh, Halloween-type music from before; she wondered if his mood had changed. And what could have caused it?

Black Hat was quite surprised at how…pleasant it was having Lita here. But he liked her company. The last person to sit with him at the organ had been his teacher.

Most people were put off by his organ playing, considering how aggressive it was. That was usually his intention, anyway. But having someone actually pay attention to the music was new to him. And playing  _with_  someone had been unexpectedly enjoyable. True, Lita had no musical talent, but it had been fun nonetheless, creating musical mayhem together. He could only imagine how much unpleasantness they had caused to the rest of the household.

Then his hand had touched hers and he had felt…unusually warm. He couldn't explain it, but he found himself suddenly…at peace. He didn't know why, but he knew it was because Lita was at his side. That's why he couldn't let her leave. Not just yet.

When Black Hat enjoyed something, he'd indulge in it until it was no longer satisfying. In this case, it was Lita's company. She would stay here until he was tired of her.

Surprisingly though, that never happened. Even when Black Hat grew tired of the organ and stopped, he found himself still conversing with Lita. The topics were unexpectantly normal, from music, to film, to literature.

"Still can't believe you're into stuff like  _Phantom of the Opera_ ," she said.

"The Phantom was an accomplished villain," Black Hat said, crossing his arms. "And although you humans have romanticized him, he was actually  _far_  dastardlier in real life."

Her eyes widened. "Wait. The Phantom of the Opera was  _real_?!"

"Who do you think taught me the organ?"

She scoffed. "If my mom could hear this! She  _loved_ that musical! So, what about the whole Christine thing?"

Black Hat rolled his eye. "The fool hears  _one_  pretty voice and suddenly decides he'd like to get married! I  _told_  him the girl would lead to his downfall! But did he listen? No! Instead he risks getting discovered by the authorities, and when he actually  _has_  the girl, he has the stupidity to fall for her pretty words and  _let her go_!"

"I think it's kinda sweet," Lita said. "I mean sure the guy was insane and a bit possessive, but like I said, no one's one hundred percent evil. At least once he realized what he did was wrong, he let the girl he loved go."

Her boss snorted in disgust. "If you're going to keep someone against their will, no matter  _what_ your intentions are, you  _don't_  let them go! If it had been me, I would've shown that girl who was in charge and wrung her pretty little neck if she disobeyed me!"

"You're such a romantic," she said sarcastically.

"That's why you can't involve love in this line of work. The minute you start to show emotion, someone will use it to their advantage, as Christine did to the Phantom."

"What if she had loved him back? You know, like in the fanfics."

He huffed. "That would've been  _worse_. Having someone you care about means having something your enemies can use against you. It would've been easy for someone to defeat the Phantom, for instance. All they would've had to do was threaten Christine."

"He  _did_  do crazy things for her." Lita sighed. "Maybe it's a good thing I'm not allowed to fall in love. You'd barbeque the guy before I'd even get one date in."

Black Hat growled. "I'd  _flail_  any man who so much as  _looks_  at you!"

She cocked her head at him. Black Hat froze once he realized how…questionable that sounded.

"A-And by that," he said, clearing his throat, "I mean that I will not allow my employees any…distractions. Flug was lucky I allowed  _his_  little plaything to live after he agreed to break it off."

Lita suddenly felt sick, remembering what Flug had said about being in love once. It didn't really surprise her, to be honest, that Black Hat had had something to do with the relationship ending. Still, she didn't feel so comfortable anymore.

"Must get really lonely then," she muttered.

"What?" he croaked.

"I mean…I get where the Phantom was coming from. He'd been alone all his life living in an underground cavern, nothing but his music—and apparently demons like you—to keep him company. So…when he meets someone who loves music as much as he does, naturally, he doesn't feel so alone anymore. If only he'd realized that Christine was a person, not an object you can simply take, he probably would've had a chance."

"Please," Black Hat said with a huff. "A  _real_  villain doesn't need  _anybody_."

Lita glanced around, a confusing realization coming to her. "Why am  _I_  here then?"

She caught his open-mouthed expression. After what felt like several minutes of silence, Lita explained her question further.

"I mean…the way I see it, you could very well do everything yourself. I mean you've got all these powers and you don't need sleep, so it's not like you don't have all the time in the world to make inventions and steal everything you need and capture every hero all by yourself. So…yeah, you're right. You don't really need me or Flug or Dementia or 5.0.5. So…why  _are_  we here?"

The more she talked, the more she desired the answer. After all, Lita had taken this job for her father. If Black Hat didn't necessarily need her, it was certainly questionable that he should accept her services as a thief.

Black Hat was amazed that she'd managed to deduce all this about him. She was right, of course. He truly  _didn't_  need anybody. He didn't want to give her the advantage of appearing vulnerable to her, however, so he grunted and waved his hand dismissively.

"If I did everything myself, it'd be too easy. Additionally, it's a lot more enjoyable ordering you miscreants to do my dirty work."

Lita nodded, but a new thought occurred to her as she glanced at the organ. "You sure you're not just…lonely?"

Without warning, Black Hat slammed a fist on the lower keyboard, causing her to jump.

"I think," he seethed, clearly trying to hold back the oncoming temper tantrum, "it's time you returned to bed, Miss Gris."

In her three months here, she'd come to learn that when he used her actual last name instead of her alias, he meant business. Sighing, Lita stood up from the bench and walked down the long carpet. Without glancing back at her, Black Hat returned to playing the organ.

Once she'd gone out the doors, Lita paused to listen. The music was much softer than before, and the melody was peaceful. It was the "Winter" section from Vivaldi's "Four Seasons." It was kind of strange to be hearing it in the summer, but it suited the cold dungeon setting.

Not wanting to leave just yet, she stood beside the doors and listened some more.

Black Hat was surprised at how much quieter his playing had gotten. But as the piece went on, it crescendoed to its usual, discordant pounding. In the middle of the song, he slammed his fists down with a frustrated growl.

Why wasn't this fun anymore? Why was he bored again?

Such was the price of immortality. At some point, even disturbing the peace became tiresome.

 _Well, I could always go back to my office and watch the news_ , he thought with a sigh as he stood from the bench,  _in Taiwan._

While he could teleport to his office, Black Hat preferred walking when he wasn't in any hurry. After all, it was still several hours until dawn. He'd do  _anything_  to kill time.

But when he pushed one of the doors open, he was met with a surprise. There, curled up on the floor, leaning back against the wall beside the doors, was Lita. Her head was lolled to the side, her eyes closed.

Apparently, she had stayed to listen to his playing and had dozed off. Black Hat smirked as he watched her sleeping form.

 _I told the fool to leave, and she actually_ stayed _._

Knowing it simply wouldn't do to have her remain on the dungeon floor all night, as a bad back would make her training session tomorrow difficult, Black Hat scooped her up into his arms. Her eyes fluttered open momentarily, but if she had realized where she was, she didn't seem to care, as her eyelids drifted shut almost immediately. Her head then fell comfortably onto his shoulder, causing Black Hat to stiffen in surprise.

 _She actually_ trusts _me to hold her?_

He had noticed she'd been growing more casual around him, much less worried about angering him. Not that he minded. It just puzzled him greatly.

As he carried her down the hall, his monstrous clone roared from his cage.

"Down, boy," Black Hat said firmly but playfully. "This one's too interesting to eat."

His attention returned to the woman in his arms. She was shivering, but that was to be expected with how cold his body was. He wondered why this didn't rouse her, but was grateful it didn't, as this would be difficult to explain.

Using a tentacle, he pressed the button for the elevator and stepped inside. As the elevator ascended, he continued to stare at Lita.

It was peculiar. Suddenly, he didn't feel so bored anymore. And nothing was happening. It was completely quiet, and there was someone asleep in his arms, not doing anything! So, why was it the more he looked at her, the less bored he felt?

But he knew. It was for the same reason he'd stopped playing the organ. He wasn't bored anymore, because Lita was here.

She… _entertained_  him. That was the best way he could describe it. For some reason, having this girl around made things less dull. He'd taken pleasure in her conversation, her horrible organ playing, and now her very presence alone.

The elevator opened up, and as Black Hat stepped out, he stared at the door leading to Lita's bedroom. He couldn't understand it, but he didn't want to let her go just yet. He didn't want to fall back into his immense boredom. He couldn't keep holding her either. If she woke up in his arms, there were sure to be questions.

Then he glanced down at the doors leading to his office at the end of the hall, and an idea occurred to him. Smiling wickedly, he headed for his office, opening the doors telepathically. After summoning a red velvet divan, he slowly set Lita down. If the cure for his boredom was her company, he'd indulge in it, even if she was asleep.

He was about to go to his computer when he realized she was still shivering. His chilling touch must've lingered. Sighing, Black Hat began removing his coat.

As he draped the coat over her body, he caught his reflection in a mirror on the wall. In the glass, his reflection dropped the coat and crossed its arms, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" the original Black Hat said, scowling. "I can't have my best thief dying of hypothermia now, can I?"

But as he went over to his desk, his realized having her asleep in his office, wrapped in his coat, was sure to raise  _more_  questions than him simply carrying her.

 _Well_ , he thought as he opened his laptop,  _I can always teleport her to her room before dawn breaks._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Megamind belongs to DreamWorks.
> 
> I knew Lita had to be introduced to the clients at some point, and since "Villainous" references villains from other shows, I had my pick! Man, it's been a while since I've written Megamind! I truly wondered how Black Hat would roast him.
> 
> I've been wanting to release the organ-playing scene for AGES! I'd written it a while ago, but wasn't sure where to put it. I'd REALLY recommend going to YouTube and hearing "Chopsticks" on the organ. And the other songs mentioned.
> 
> I promise the plot will move forward next chapter. For now, FLUFF!


	23. Business Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Black Hat has to go out of town...and takes Lita with him.
> 
> Thank you everyone for 100+ kudos!

A week after Black Hat's late-night organ concert, Flug was in his lab doing maintenance on all the Hatbots.

"Pliers," he said, holding out a hand without looking up from the open machinery before him.

Lita picked up a pair of pliers from his worktable and handed it to him. She was no mechanical genius like Flug, but she knew her tools. Back at home, whenever an electrical fuse had blown, or the plumbing had backed up, rather than spending money on professionals, Lita and her father had done their own maintenance work. But Lita understood why Flug wanted to handle the repairs himself, as these were his inventions. Besides, robots were a lot more complex than a fuse box.

"This one's almost finished," Flug said as he stuck the pliers into the back of the Hatbot. "I need to make sure all these bots are working efficiently, so they don't break down while I'm away at camp. Hand me a 3x75 millimeter screwdriver."

"Remind me again why you and Dementia get go away for six weeks?" Lita asked, handing him the tiny screwdriver.

"Black Hat needs counselors at his camp to keep the little monsters, err,  _kids_  in check." He groaned. "Unfortunately, because we need at least one male  _and_  one female, Dementia has to come along."

"Let me rephrase that. How come  _you_  get to go away for six weeks, while I have to stay in this madhouse all alone with the boss?"

"You won't be alone. 5.0.5. will be here too," Flug said reassuringly. "And while you're a very capable thief and fighter, I don't think you'd be up to the task of wrangling fifty kids—wrench, please, thirteen millimeters—at least seventy-three percent of them with supernatural powers, and  _all_  of them with homicidal tendencies. Trust me. Even our Nerf combat simulations have led to severe injuries."

"Fair point." She set down the screwdriver he'd handed back to her. "I've never really spent much time around  _normal_  kids, anyway."

"Really? Not even for babysitting?"

She scoffed. "You think my neighbors would've trusted a delinquent with their kids?" She paused a moment. "I'd see them come into work, though. They'd always ask the most adorable questions, like, 'Why does this cost so much?' Or they'd say sweet things, like, 'You're pretty!' I once asked a customer if he had a loyalty card with us, and his five-year-old son said, 'We have money!'"

Flug giggled. "The ones _I_  have to deal with aren't as…cute."

"I guess villains' kids  _would_  be quite the handful, huh?" Lita said, leaning against the edge of the worktable.

"Eh," he said with a shrug. "They're not so bad, once you show them who's boss. Get the masks."

Lita picked up two welding masks and handed one to Flug. As his welding torch buzzed, Lita wondered how Flug was at handling kids. How was  _Dementia_  at handling kids? Hard to tell how villains would act around children. Especially children who were also villains.

From how he treated 5.0.5., Flug was sure to be great with kids. Lita at least imagined he'd be more sympathetic, and reasonably disciplined, than Dementia. The lizard-girl was more likely to encourage horseplay than to fill the role of a responsible caregiver. Provided she didn't  _eat_  her charges. Then again, Flug probably wouldn't be the ideal role model either, as he wasn't opposed to violence. Lita tried not to think too much into it.

She also kind of wondered what would've happened if her father had sent her to that Camp for Young Villains. She probably would've turned out more ambitious towards villainy, but perhaps her childhood would've been less…isolated? Maybe she would've met Flug and Dementia earlier, if they had gone to that camp. Of course, she had no idea what their childhoods had been like, or when they had started getting into villainy.

What had  _Black Hat_  been like as a child? Had he ever  _been_  a child? If he had, it had been a really,  _really_  long time ago. Somehow, she couldn't picture him as a sweet, innocent little tyke. He probably would've given the term "ankle-biter" a whole new definition. She snickered, thinking of how he must've made his parents' life a living hell. If he'd had any parents at all.

"And that's one more done," Flug said, lifting his welding mask. "Just five more to go."

The Hatbot blinked, as if just coming out of daze, its one red eye lighting up. After Flug gave it a pat on the back, it rolled away to do…whatever those Hatbots did all day. The scientist picked up the next deactivated Hatbot, one of the smaller ones, and placed him onto the worktable. Knowing the drill by now, Lita handed him the 3x75 millimeter screwdriver. As he opened up the bot's back, a new thought occurred to Lita.

"Hey," she said. "If Black Hat doesn't want his members involving love, how are they able to have kids?"

"Oh," Flug said cheerfully. "Black Hat may be against love, but he's not completely against villains getting married and or having kids. As long as the partner is not a hero, of course, and the kids are raised to be evil. So, yes, he'll approve of villainous unions, for no other reason than to breed the next generation of evil."

"Gross," Lita said, sticking out her tongue.

He chuckled. "It  _does_  sound Darwinist, doesn't it? But it's probably the only reason Black Hat let your parents get married. I mean he still had your father's soul, so he could have very well pulled your father out of retirement at any time."

"So how come he wouldn't let _you_  get married?"

She'd blurted it out without even thinking, and immediately regretted it. A spark erupted within the Hatbot as Flug's hand slipped. Thankfully, he wasn't shocked, but he was awfully still.

"S-Sorry, I…I shouldn't've—"

"No, no, it's fine," Flug said, shaking his head. "It, uh…happened a long time ago, so it's fine."

Lita felt bad about bringing it up. These past few months, Flug had become like a surrogate brother to her. However, every time she tried to find out more about him, especially about his past love life, he'd put up these walls. Though she supposed he just needed a bit more time before he was ready to talk about it, it bummed her that after all she'd done for this crew,  _nobody_  seemed willing to open up to her.

Black Hat had his walls too. He may have revealed the story behind his missing eye to her, but she hardly knew anything about him. She hardly knew anything about  _any_  of them.

But for Flug, she had a few clues. She knew he'd been in love once, and that Black Hat had forbidden it. But if Black Hat permitted marriage among villains, Lita could only conclude that Flug's past lover…had not been a villain.

"Say, Flug," she said after a long period of silence. "By any chance, was your partner a—?"

All of a sudden, Flug squealed as he seemed to drop through the floor. Lita looked down in time to see a trapdoor close up.

"Flug?"

Just then, a second trapdoor opened up. This one beneath her feet. She yelped as she fell, unsure of what was happening. A second later, she was falling through the ceiling of Black Hat's office and landed on top of Flug, who cried out in pain.

"Sorry," she murmured.

Before either of them could get up, a cheerful shout came from above. "BELLY FLOP!"

Lita looked up in time to see Dementia come through the ceiling with her arms and legs sprawled out. Lita let out an "oomph" as the mutant, true to her word, belly-flopped on top of her. As if the

situation couldn't get any more painful, the last of their crew dropped onto the pile.

5.0.5. was soft, but boy, was he ever  _heavy_!

"O-Ouch," whimpered Flug, who had it the worst.

Black Hat laughed from his desk. "So nice of you lazy maggots to  _drop in_."

Dementia joined in his laughter. "Good one, boss!"

"5.0.5.!" Flug exclaimed in agony.

The bear gave an apologetic "bruh" as he climbed off his teammates. Dementia leaped off excitedly and saluted to her beloved.

"Seriously," Lita said, glaring at Black Hat while helping the scientist up. "A simple text would've sufficed!"

Flug looked at her like she was crazy. But instead of yelling at her for her sass, Black Hat smirked in amusement.

"Oh, but it wouldn't have been as  _fun_!"

Scowling, Lita grabbed Flug's shoulders. "It's gonna be hard for us to do anything with you," she said, causing the scientist to cry out as she snapped his shoulder back into place, "breaking our backs just for the heck of it!"

"Quit your whining," Black Hat said gruffly, standing from his seat. "We have much to discuss. I just received word from a villain in Paris, who might be interested in joining our organization. I am flying out there tomorrow, and will meet with him the next day."

"Why doesn't he just talk business with you over the phone, sir?" Lita couldn't help but ask. "I mean rather than fly all the way out there?"

"He prefers to meet with me in person." He grunted. "However, from what he's told me of his situation already, this client might prove to be a… _difficult_ case. Which is why I will be needing a second pair of ears for this meeting."

"B-But sir!" Flug stammered. "D-Dementia and I are flying out to the camp tomorrow, remember? W-We need to get everything set up and—"

"Aw, screw the kids!" Dementia said, leaning forward onto the desk. "I'd  _love_  to go to Paris with you, love muffin!"

"I was referring," Black Hat said, pushing her face out of his, "to Miss Ladrona."

"Me?" Lita said in surprise.

"A-Are you sure, sir?" Flug asked. "I m-mean no d-disrespect, but L-Lita doesn't have much experience with clients. P-Perhaps someone with a bit more—"

"I believe Miss Ladrona is competent enough for this affair," Black Hat said, focusing his gaze on Lita. "Besides, this particular client requested absolute discretion, as he doesn't want his civilian identity to be exposed to the public. And Miss Ladrona is the least likely to draw any unwanted attention."

Glancing at Flug's paper bag and Dementia's…well, everything; Lita could see his reasoning.

"I've, uh…never been to France before, sir," she said, still hardly believing that she was invited. "I…I don't even speak French."

The demon held up a hand. "Leave that part to me."

"Wait," Dementia said, all the color draining from her face. "So…you're taking  _her_ …to Paris?" She gritted her teeth together. "The City of  _Love_?!"

Black Hat rolled his eye. "This is strictly a  _business_  trip. And frankly, to call Paris the City of Love would be highly inaccurate. I've been to Paris several times over the centuries, and its atmosphere has been more destructive than romantic." He chuckled thoughtfully. "Ah, the Reign of Terror was  _especially_  glorious."

Lita was trying so hard to contain her excitement. She'd never set foot from Hat Island before, and now she was given the opportunity to go to  _Paris_?! One of the biggest tourist destinations of the world?! It sounded too good to be true!

"So, pack an overnight bag, Miss Ladrona," Black Hat said, snapping out of his reminiscing. "We leave at five in the morning."

That mellowed her excitement. "I'm sorry. Did you say  _five in the morning_?!"

"It's an eleven-hour flight from here to Paris." He smirked at her sudden distress. "We need to get a head start."

Lita then realized the downside of this potential adventure. She'd be in Paris. With her boss. Alone. While their interactions had been recently civil, with Black Hat's unpredictability, a lot could happen within forty-eight hours. A lot could happen on the eleven-hour flight alone!

At least Lita knew whatever Dementia had in mind wouldn't happen. Still, Black Hat might get angry and, being in a strange city, there'd be no escape for Lita. Then again, all she had to do was stay in his good graces, and she'd be perfectly unharmed.

"O-Of course, sir," Lita said with a small salute. "I'll start packing right away, sir."

"And Flug," Black Hat said, picking up a sticky note. "Before we make our departure, I'd like you to dig up whatever information you can on this new client of ours. See if there's anything we can use to our advantage. Here's his name, alias and address. I want a comprehensive file on my desk by four a.m. Not a second later!"

He tossed the note at Flug, who fumbled to catch it in the air. "R-Right away, sir!"

"As for  _you_ ," the demon said, pointing at 5.0.5., "having no  _better_  option, I'm regrettably trusting  _you_  to keep the mansion in one piece until I get back! I've already cancelled my appointments the next two days, so don't go dealing with any unexpected visitors!" He chuckled. "Leave that to the security system."

The bear grunted happily as he saluted, as if proud to be given such a big task. Lita felt kind of bad leaving him alone. With Flug and Dementia gone, she was supposed to help 5.0.5. with the extra chores. Then again, with everybody else out, there was sure to be less to clean up, and it was only for a couple days.

"Then if everyone is clear on their duties," Black Hat said, sitting back down, "you are all dismissed."

* * *

To say Lita was tired the next morning would be an understatement. Never had she been forced to wake at four a.m.! Fortunately, as he had been up all night finishing his report anyway, Flug knocked on Lita's door to ensure that she was up. Her hair was an absolute rat's nest when she opened the door, and there were bags under her drooping eyes.

" _Bonjour, mademoiselle_!" Flug said chipperly, obviously still running on caffeine. "You ready for Paris?"

"Not so loud, Flug," Lita groaned, covering one ear. "It's too early."

"Oh, sorry." He lowered his voice a bit. "Anyway, I brought you some things you might need on your trip. I just, um, hope I got the right size."

From behind his back, he produced a pair of black lace-up combat boots. They were very tall, looking like they'd reach about half a meter up her legs.

"Flug, it's the middle of June!" Lita said groggily. "I'm not wearing boots!"

"No, no!" Flug held up a hand. "I modified the insulators, which will now be able to detect the outside temperature and adjust the internal temperature for your feet accordingly. But I mainly got these so you could have a place to stash these."

He turned the boots and pointed. Strapped to the outer side of each boot was a small leather sheathe. Lita had to squint to see them, as they were practically blended into the boots. Out of one sheathe, Flug pulled out a small, but sharp, black dagger. This  _really_  woke Lita up.

"While this is just supposed to be a business trip," he said, sliding the dagger back into concealment, "you never know what sort of trouble you might run into. And, of course, you can't go lugging a jambiya around Paris. This way, you can get to your knives easily and not get in any trouble with the law."

Squealing like a child on Christmas, Lita grabbed the boots and bent down to try them on. Fortunately, Flug had gotten the right size.

"They fit perfectly!" She raised her arms to hug him. "Thanks so much!"

"Ah!" Flug held up a hand. "I'm not done yet!"

Reaching into his lab coat, he pulled out two pocket-sized books. As he handed them to her, she saw that one was an English-French dictionary, and the other was a Spanish-French dictionary.

"Wasn't sure which one you'd be most comfortable with," Flug explained. "While Lord Black Hat is fluent in French, I thought you should have these, just in case. Oh! I nearly forgot the most important thing!" He reached into his coat again. "Sunscreen! It doesn't usually get very hot in Paris this time of year, but it's still pretty sunny."

He couldn't stop the hug this time. Unaccustomed to such a friendly gesture, he let out a squeak.

"You're the best, Flug!" Lita exclaimed as she stepped away. "I'm certainly gonna miss ya while you're at camp."

Flug's neck reddened. "Oh. W-Well, I'll uh…kinda…miss you too, I guess?" He cleared his throat. "I mean you're a lot less annoying than Dementia, anyway."

Lita laughed at how uncaring he was trying to seem, but failing.

"But you'd better get ready. Black Hat expects you to be in the garage in an hour."

* * *

It was nearly five, and Flug and 5.0.5. were accompanying Lita to the garage. Flug carried her black suitcase, which was light, as the trip was only for two days. Lita had her personal items, including her wallet and a water bottle, in her brown knapsack. Flug had told her it was expected to be around the mid-20's Celsius in Paris, with slight chance of rain. A lot cooler than the current scorching weather here on Hat Island. So, she wore a pair of jeans, green t-shirt and her usual black hoodie in case it got colder. A black raincoat was also tucked away in her backpack.

"Now remember," Flug said. "Do exactly as Black Hat tells you and you won't have any trouble."

"I'm not stupid, Flug," Lita said. "I'm not gonna argue with him. Unless he's totally wrong, of course."

"Oh, boy." Flug sighed. "And don't forget that when you get back, you and 5.0.5. will have to cover meal preparation for me and Dementia. And I've already checked my machines for stability, so don't touch them! But if a problem  _does_  arise, for whatever reason, don't hesitate to call me!"

"Yes,  _Mom_."

The coffee and muffins 5.0.5. had made had not yet dispelled her morning crankiness. Flug was a bit sleep deprived himself, so he didn't hold it against her.

When Flug opened the door to the garage, they found Black Hat leaning against the hearse. He glanced down at his pocket watch.

"You made it," he said gruffly. "With twenty-three seconds to spare."

He sounded disappointed, as if he'd wanted an excuse to yell at her. Lita wondered if perhaps  _he_  was sleep deprived too. Well, he never really slept. Maybe that's why he was always cranky.

"D-Did you get my report, sir?" Flug asked, Lita's suitcase shaking in his hands.

"It's in the car," Black Hat said, obviously not up to praising the scientist's work. "Now quit standing there like an idiot and put Miss Ladrona's luggage in the trunk! And you," he snapped to Lita, "get in! We've got a schedule to keep!"

As Flug hastened to obey his master, 5.0.5. grabbed Lita's arm and held up a paper bag. Looking inside, she saw it was some leftover muffins.

"Aw, you're so sweet,  _Pachoncito_!" she said, wrapping her arms around him.

Returning her hug, the bear grunted, as if to say, "Have a safe trip! Don't forget to eat!"

Black Hat gagged at the disgusting display of affection. "Ahem!"

Breaking away, Lita waved at 5.0.5. as she got into the left side of the hearse. The interior was like that of a limo. There were two sets of red leather seats across from each other, with a lot of floor between them. Up ahead was a window separating the passengers from the driver, though she couldn't see the driver. Through the window on her left, she saw Black Hat bark some last-minute orders at the others before getting in and seating himself across from Lita.

Leaning his hands onto his cane, Black Hat shouted back to the driver, "To the airport!"

A computerized voice responded, " _Destination: Hatsville Airport._ "

As the garage door opened and the car started, Lita came to a startling realization.

"Wait." She stretched her neck higher in an attempt to see through the divider. "Is…is there no driver?!"

"It's on auto-drive," Black Hat said with a smirk. "Don't worry. Flug handled the modifications, and there haven't been any crashes since the seventh trial."

Face growing pale, Lita quickly strapped herself in with the seatbelt. The car started driving slowly, though that didn't quell her nerves.

"Why are we even taking a plane, anyway?" Lita asked, after some thought. "Can't you teleport?"

"Now, where would be the fun in that?" Black Hat said. "Besides, it'll give us ample time to review Flug's report on our client."

That didn't really answer her question, but she was too tired to press him further.

"I've never been on a plane before," she admitted. "Wait. Don't we need to go through airport security or something? I don't even have a passport!"

With a flick of his wrist, a black booklet appeared in his hand. "Already taken care of."

He handed the booklet to her. She opened up the first page to find a picture of herself she didn't remember taking. It had all her information, from her birthdate to her full legal name. She supposed he'd left her villain alias out for obvious reasons. She was afraid to ask when and how he had managed to issue this.

It was what was on the next page that truly excited her. An exit visa. Those weren't easy to come by on Hat Island, as one usually needed to pay an exceptionally large fee to…

Well, it was no mystery how she'd been granted one now.

"And you won't have to worry about security," Black Hat said, eyeing the concealed knives in her boots. "I have my own private plane. Even better than flying First Class, if you ask me. No nosy stewards, no crying infants. It'll simply be the two of us for eleven hours."

The last part caused Lita to gulp.

"And the plane doesn't have my name on it, so any heroes that happen to be flying nearby won't pay any heed. We'll be entering Paris undetected." He gestured to the passport. "And legally, too. The last thing we need is attention from French Customs."

"Oh, I get it," she said. "If we run into trouble in Paris, we can show that we legally entered the country, so they won't try and deport us."

"Exactly. Of course, it'd be a lot more difficult if we were entering America, but it never hurts to be prepared. Which reminds me. If, for whatever reason, we are questioned by the authorities, we should get our stories straight."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we can't very well tell them we're villains doing business with another villain, can we? Remember, our client doesn't wish to be discovered. So, I believe we should keep it simple." Another black booklet appeared in his hand. "We are Cyrus Chapeau and Adelita Gris. We are a British-Mexican American couple on our honeymoon."

Lita dropped her passport. "Say what now?"

"This is simply for pretense," he said, scowling, "so don't get any ideas."

"Okay, but…why do we have to be  _married_?!"

"Why else would a man and woman be traveling together in Paris these days?"

She opened her mouth to protest further, but then realized he had a point. "I guess…it  _would_  be an easy story to buy. But… _Cyrus_?"

He gripped his cane. "It's a respectable name."

"Just…seems kind of old-fa—" She looked him over. "You know what? It suits you. But hey, if we're supposed to be married, how come our last names are different?"

He shrugged. "We only just got married. Even if one of us decided to change our names, the legal process would still take many months. Besides, given that many married couples these days decide to keep their original names, I hardly doubt anyone would question it."

She couldn't argue with that. "But… _Chapeau_? Really?"

She knew enough French to at least know the word for "hat."

"Fitting, don't you think?" he said with a smirk. "And the locals won't have any trouble saying it."

As she scrutinized him, another thought occurred to Lita. "Hey, wait a minute. How are you gonna—?"

" _You've arrived at your destination_ ," the computerized driver said as the hearse came to a stop.

Glancing outside, Lita saw that they were at the airport's drop-off. Unbuckling her seatbelt, she stepped outside. It was still early morning, so the sun hadn't quite risen yet.

The hearse's trunk popped open and Lita went around to get her suitcase. She wasn't sure how to feel about this charade her boss had in mind. Who would look at the two of them and think that they were married? Not only were they dressed from different centuries, but Black Hat was…well, he was a demon! How was he  _not_  going to draw attention to himself?

Before she could grab her suitcase, a gloved hand swiped it out from beneath her.

"Let me get that for you,  _dear_."

Lita stiffened. The voice sounded much like her boss, but it wasn't as growly. It sounded like a typical British male voice with a deep tone, nothing demonic about it all. When she turned to look at him, she gasped in surprise.

Instead of his usual black face, she was met with a pale one. This new face was accompanied with brown eyes—his monocle was gone—and light brown hair— _hair_ —that fell from beneath his top hat and down to his shoulders in wisps, tucked neatly behind his ears. Yes, he had  _ears_! And a nose!If that wasn't enough, there was a small mustache beneath that new nose.

His clothes were still there, but the man wearing them didn't look anything like her boss.

"Like it?" Black Hat said with a smile, showing perfectly white teeth. "I don't normally take a human form, as it takes quite a bit of energy, but obviously, I can't go walking around like I normally do."

Lita blinked in bewilderment. She had nearly forgotten about his shapeshifting abilities.

"How do you even…?" She pointed. "Your…your eyes! And…and your ears! And…how did you even smell anything before without a nose?!"

He let out a laugh that sounded much more pleasant than usual. "Best not to think too much into it." He took his suitcase in his other hand. "Shall we then,  _darling_?"

The "darling" threw her off for a moment, but then she remembered that they were supposed to be newlyweds.

"Oh!" She shook her head. "Yeah! Let's, uh, go, uh…honey?"

Black Hat nodded approvingly as he led the way. Lita couldn't stop staring at his disguise the entire way to the plane. She couldn't help it. She wasn't used to seeing her boss look so…normal. Well, not quite so, as he was still wearing his Victorian attire. It was also a bit disturbing how he was able to change his skin color so effortlessly.

Black Hat smirked when he caught her staring. "Finding the new me handsome, dear?"

"Um," Lita said, her face turning red. "Actually, um…you look…kind of fake."

That caused him to frown. "That's rather harsh, don't you think?"

* * *

Lita had seen the interior of airplanes in movies. They'd always depicted a bunch of passengers squished together in two or three aisles of seats. So, naturally, she hadn't expected to see an entire living room when she stepped onto Black Hat's private jet.

The plane must've been enchanted or something, because the interior looked much more massive than it did on the outside. Not to mention the exterior had been entirely inconspicuous, being white like every other plane on the lot. At the windows, two red cushioned recliner seats sat facing each other, a small mahogany table between them. Normally, this would be enough for two passengers, yet there was a chaise couch in the middle of the room, surrounding a chess table. The burgundy carpet pattern was much like the one back at the mansion. On top of that, there was a bar, a mini-fridge, and a lit fireplace. There was no way  _that_  was a safe thing to have on a plane!

"Shut  _up_!" Her jaw dropped. "We're flying  _this_  to Paris?!"

"It's an eleven-hour journey," said Black Hat, who was back to normal now that they were alone. "Do you really expect me  _not_  to travel in style?" As he levitated their bags into a closet of some sort, he pointed to a set of velvet curtains across the room. "Bedroom is back there. You'll find the bathroom if you keep going."

"There's a freaking  _bedroom_  here?!" Lita shouted, rushing to see for herself.

Pulling back the curtains, she gasped upon finding a room with a queen-sized bed on the right side. Even more excited now, she opened the door to the bathroom at the very end. She was happy to find that not only was the toilet  _not_  made of plastic, but there was a solid gold shower and tub to match it!

"Holy shit!" Lita squealed. "No  _wonder_  Flug's so crazy about planes!"

The sound of Black Hat clearing his throat caused her to turn. "Yes, yes, it's all very impressive. Now come sit down, we'll be taking off soon."

" _Permission for take-off has been granted,_ " said a computerized voice. " _Lord Black Hat and guests, please take your seats._ "

Like the hearse, this plane ran on autopilot. As Lita buckled into one of the recliners at the window, this thought unsettled her. As Black Hat sat across from her, he noticed her gripping the seat's arms as she stared out the window. The faint scent coming from her further confirmed his suspicions.

"A little nervous, are we?" he said.

She nodded. "This is my first flight, you know."

Black Hat rolled his eye. "You needn't worry about crashing. Honestly, we'd be more likely to crash if  _Flug_  was the pilot, rather than the computer."

She turned to him. "H-How did you handle  _your_  first flight?"

"I could already levitate, and had previously flown in hot air balloons, helicopters and spacecrafts. So, compared to those, my first airplane trip was rather," he said, holding up his hand, "meh."

"Right." She would ask about the spacecrafts later.

"And honestly, Miss Ladrona, you've crawled on ceilings and suspended yourself from heights of over fifty feet. I highly doubt you will have any acrophobic issues on this trip."

"You're right," she said, her grip on the seat loosening a bit. "I suppose…it's kind of silly to be nervous about flying, after…everything else I've been through."

The smell of fear hadn't completely eradicated.

"Of course," Black Hat said disgruntledly, "it also helps…to keep one's eyes closed."

As soon as he said this, the plane started moving. Lita kept her eyes shut, even while they were in taxi mode. After about five minutes, she felt the plane jolt forward. Gasping internally, she pressed her back against the seat, gripping the arms tighter. She tried not to appear too afraid in front of her demonic boss, but couldn't help it! She wasn't used to this kind of motion!

The plane went faster and faster, making a whirring sound until finally, it tilted upward, whooshing into the sky. Lita waited for something to go wrong. For the plane to spiral out of control, for the engine to explode, for some other plane to crash into them!

But nothing happened. Opening one cautious eye, she looked out the window. What she saw caused her to open the other eye and press her hands and face against the glass.

Down below was the most fantastic view of Hat Island! She could see the roofs of all the buildings she had come to know all her life! Her childhood home, her old workplaces, her high school, the fitness center. Black Hat Manor, of course, was the easiest to spot. It was strange how small the massive hat-shaped structure now looked. As they went higher, the island disappeared, and there was nothing but pure ocean blue for miles around. The sun was rising, gleaming off the water like something out of a dream.

" _¡_ _Es increíble_ _!_ " she murmured against the window.

Black Hat watched her with interest. Sadly, his enthusiasm over seeing new things and places had dulled down over the millennia. But there had been a time when his eyes had held that same spark of childlike wonderment. In his years of early adulthood, he had set out to see the world, amazed to discover that it was much larger and more impressive than he'd imagined. He remembered the barge he'd hopped on, seeing the sea for the first time and embracing its soothing, salty air. He remembered how much his cheeks had hurt from all the smiling, just as Lita was doing now.

He'd always hated dwelling on his past, but this small memory brought a certain calm about him. He then glanced out his own window. He'd seen the ocean so many times now, but wondered what Lita was thinking, seeing its vastness for the first time.

 _She must feel so small right now,_  he thought,  _yet big at the same time._

Looking back, he found her still staring out the window. Her smile had only gotten bigger. It wasn't long before he found himself smiling as well.

"Hey," Lita said, glancing sideways at him. "What if some hero passes by? Won't they see you through the windows?"

Black Hat snapped out of his trance and put on his previous frown. "Yes, well, no need to fret about that." He tapped the glass beside him. "The windows are tinted, in that event."

Satisfied with this answer, Lita returned her attention down below as a beach came into view. Based on their flight path, she assumed this was the west coast of Mexico, her fatherland.

_Oh, if only Papi could see this!_

Realizing he was still staring at the woman across from him, Black Hat materialized Flug's report into his hand and began reading it.

Once the plane had risen above the clouds, Lita finally tore her gaze from the window. Now that her curiosity was satisfied for the moment, she decided to have a little fun with her boss.

"So, how far you wanna take this marriage thing?"

Black Hat looked up in alarm, ripping the folder in two. "Excuse me?"

"I mean what's our backstory?" she asked, crossing her arms and legs. "Devil's in the details, you know. Well, I guess you  _do_ know. Where did we meet? How long have we been dating? Did we have a big wedding or a small wedding?" She put a finger to her chin. "Always kind of pictured mine small."

He grunted as he magically melded the file back together. "We are not—"

"You think Flug would've been the best man? I doubt Dementia would've been up for maid of honor. Oh!" She snorted with laughter. "What if 5.0.5. was the ring  _bear_?! Wouldn't that just be hila—"

"I think you're taking this a little too seriously," Black Hat said with an unamused scowl.

"Hey." She gestured to him. " _You're_  the one who suggested we pretend to be married. Which reminds me." She held up the back of her hand. "Shouldn't we have rings?"

Sighing, Black Hat snapped his fingers. "You make a fair point."

In an instant, two sparkling gold bands appeared on each of their left ring fingers.

"Ooh," Lita said, admiring the gold's value. "I can see why I married you."

"Alright then," he said, settling his hands onto his cane. "How  _did_  we meet?"

She pondered a moment. "You worked with my dad. He introduced us."

Black Hat smirked. "Not entirely a lie, which will make it all the more convincing." He looked her over. "Let's see. Since you're twenty-five, let's say we started our courtship…two years ago."

"No one says 'courtship' anymore, but yeah, that sounds reasonable." She smiled mischievously. "You know, most people ask married couples if they plan on having kids."

The demon crumpled the folder in his hands. "Don't make me wish I'd taken Flug instead of you."

"Why, so you can pretend to be married to  _him_?"Lita gasped dramatically. "Wow, boss! I had no idea you swung that way!"

Growling, he stood from his seat, his claws bared and ready to kill.

"Oh, lighten up, will you? I'm kidding!" She uncrossed her legs. "Though you can't blame me for wanting to be thorough."

Relaxing his arms, Black Hat sat back down. Grunting in annoyance, he smoothed out the file until there was not a single crease visible.

"Here," he said, tossing it at her. "Read up on our client."

 _And while you're distracted, maybe I'll get a moment's peace,_  he thought as he produced a newspaper out of thin air.

Lita caught the file before it could hit her face and opened it up. When she saw the client's picture and name, her eyes widened.

"No way!" she exclaimed, pointing. "He's a supervillain?"

Black Hat sighed as he looked up from his paper. "You've heard of him, I presume?"

"Well, sure! He's only the most famous European fashion designer there is! I used to sell his designs all the time! You know, back when I was in sales. I knew he was a bit of a recluse, but I never imagined him as a villain. Huh." She shrugged. "The more you know. But yeesh! What kind of villain name is—?"

"How about we continue this discussion  _after_  you've finished reading?" her boss said.

Seeing how his claws were digging into his paper, Lita had a feeling he wanted some quiet time. So, without another word, she returned to her reading, as did he.

The article on the rebuilding of Notre Dame held Black Hat's attention for a measly two minutes. He found himself glancing back at the woman across from him. Her recliner was now spread back, her legs up. She held the file above her face, wearing a neutral expression, but he could tell she was interested by the way her eyes moved across the pages.

She had no idea what he had done last week, when she had fallen asleep outside his organ chamber. As he had planned, he had teleported her to her bedroom an hour before dawn. If she had wondered how she had gotten to her bed, she had most likely concluded that she'd been too tired to remember or something along those lines, for she hadn't questioned him about it.

It was because of that night that Black Hat had decided to take Lita along for this trip, as well as the way she'd handled Megamind. She had a way of reading people that was useful for negotiating. And sales, of course. And if he was going to be spending some time in Paris, it might as well be with someone with whom he could carry on an intelligent conversation. Even if she was sometimes a tease.

Not to mention that there was still this strange comfort he felt whenever she was around. The minute he'd teleported her sleeping body out of his office, his eternal boredom had returned with a vengeance. Since that night, he'd been anxious for her company. Of course, he hadn't wanted to appear obvious, so instead of sneaking her into his office late at night again, he had resorted to leaving the monitor to her bedroom on while he worked. All he had done was glance at her slumbering form from time to time. He wasn't  _that_  kind of spy.

He couldn't help that she was interesting to watch. Why, he wasn't exactly sure. All he knew was that he wanted to indulge in her presence as much as possible. What better way to do that than a two-day trip to Paris?

Besides, there was something he wanted to try with her. Not only would it further succeed his plans to make her dependent on him, but it just might answer some of his many questions concerning her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to stop myself from writing the entire eleven-hour flight! I didn't want their conversation to end!
> 
> Those of you who watch/read "The Ancient Magus' Bride" will get the reference.
> 
> So, the Paris trip will be taking up the next few chapters, as a LOT of significant things will be happening there! I'm going to keep the new client a surprise, for now.


	24. Mr. and Mrs. Hat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita and Black Hat pretend to be married while in Paris, and Lita's dream comes true. Not the married part.  
> Theme song: "Paris Holds the Key To Your Heart"

"We're here."

Lita's eyes snapped open. About halfway through the flight, she'd decided to take a nap in the plane's bedroom. Sitting up from the bed, she found Black Hat standing right next to her.

"Already?" she said, rubbing her eyes. "Gee, I must've been more tired than I thought."

"At least you won't be complaining about sleep deprivation the rest of the day," he said, tossing her backpack onto the foot of her bed. "Now get up, lazybones. We have a tight schedule to keep."

She hastened to get out of bed and pick up her bag. "What time is it?"

"It's half past two," Black Hat said, magically transferring their suitcases into his hands as he walked towards the front of the plane.

She followed him. "In the afternoon?"

"Morning."

She stopped. "Wait, what?" Her brain wasn't fully awake yet to do the math. "But I thought the flight was eleven—"

"There's a nine-hour time difference between Hat Island and France," he said gruffly. "It's half past two in the morning here, while back home it's half past five in the evening."

"Oh." Her face reddened in embarrassment. "Right. I, uh, forgot. So, I guess it's Thursday now, huh?" She still couldn't believe it was so late at night already, when it had been early morning not too long ago. "So…what are we supposed to do until we have to meet with the client?"

"First of all, we'll have to call a cab to take us to the hotel."

"Do cabs even run this late?"

He stared at her as his hand moved to open the airlocked door. "I keep forgetting you've never travelled before."

* * *

It had been so long since Lita had ridden in a cab. Since her papi had to sell the car to pay the bills, Lita had mostly gotten around by walking. She'd taken the city bus in the rare event she had to travel far, as they were less costly than taxis. But she had ridden in a few when she was small.

The one Black Hat had hailed at the airport was black instead of yellow, which had surprised her. And the driver, an elderly white man in a cap, was a lot more smiley than she'd expected, as all the drivers she remembered from Hat Island had been rather cranky. As most strangers were on the island.

This driver also apparently didn't mind smoking in the cab with the window open. That trait was at least familiar.

" _Maintenant, madame et monsieur_ ," the driver called back to the two of them, taking a puff from his cigarette. " _D'où venez-vous_?"

Frowning, Lita opened her bag to pull out the English-French dictionary. Although she'd glanced through both dictionaries on the plane, she couldn't understand anything past " _madame et monsieur_."

Black Hat, who had put up his human disguise, replied for her, in a perfect French accent. " _Je viens d'Angleterre, et ma femme est mexicaine américaine_ _._ "

She at least understood half of that. The story that they'd come up with was that he was originally from England, and she was Mexican American. Saying they were from Hat Island would draw suspicion from those who knew where it was. It wasn't on any map, but Hat Island floated off the west coast of Mexico and wasn't too far from California, which was why a lot of the residents spoke Spanish and English. Lita herself was of Mexican and American descent, the first from her father and the latter from her mother. So to say she was Mexican American was technically true, even though she'd never set foot in either country. Even so, to avoid question, Black Hat had put her birthplace as Santa Ana, California in her passport, rather than Hatsville, Hat Island.

"Ah, you speak English then!" the driver said cheerfully, glancing at Lita through the rearview mirror. "You are not good at  _le français_ , madame?"

Lita sighed in relief. "No, sorry. I only know English and Spanish."

"Ah,  _c'est bien_ ," he said, waving his hand. "We get many Americans here! They love our city! You are married,  _non_? You come for romantic getaway!"

"Honeymoon," Black Hat said simply.

"Ah! Newlyweds!" The driver set his hand out the window to tap the ash from his cigarette. "Is no mystery you choose  _notre ville de l'amour_!"

Knowing the meaning of the last word, as it was the same in Spanish, Lita blushed pink. "Err, yeah!  _L'amour_! We are, uh, so," she said, taking her boss' hand, "in  _l'amour_!"

Black Hat was a lot better at selling their con. Letting go of her hand, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She tried not to shiver at his touch. It seemed his body temperature had not changed with his appearance.  _Why is he always so_ cold _?_

"Yes, we just got married a couple days ago," he said, smirking at how flustered she was getting.

"Ah!  _Félicitations à vous_ _!_ " The driver said, not noticing Lita's discomfort. " _Ma femme et moi_ , we been together thirty years! You plan to have the little ones?"

Lita sent her boss a sideways glance, as if to say, "I told you so."

"Sure," she said bluntly. "How many did you have in mind,  _dear_?"

"Oh, I don't know," Black Hat said, his grin widening. "At least a dozen."

Lita squeaked while the driver laughed. He probably thought Black Hat was teasing, but Lita knew it was him getting back at her for all her teasing on the flight. How was she supposed to pretend to be married to this guy? All they did when they were together was tease each other!

Then again, wasn't that what married couples usually did? Tease each other without any malice? She remembered her parents used to banter all the time, particularly when it came to their differing tastes in music. Those discussions would lead to them saying some pretty nasty things, but they'd always end up laughing about it.

Perhaps she  _could_  go along with this charade.

"That's easy for  _you_  to say,  _cariño_ ," Lita said, gently removing his hand from her shoulder. "You won't be _birthing_  all those kids."

Black Hat nodded approvingly, as if to say, " _Now_  you're getting into it!"

"Oh, I wouldn't  _dream_ of putting you through that much turmoil,  _mi amor_."

She felt a tingle up her spine as he said that term of endearment and patted her on the head. The clear British accent didn't help.

"I was thinking we could adopt," he said.

Lita snorted, trying to imagine Black Hat adopting twelve children. It was unlikely.

"Why?" she said slyly. "So you can have an excuse not to take me to bed?"

Black Hat's smile dropped, causing the driver to laugh.

"Ah,  _le jeune amour_!"

While her fake husband was trying to think of a comeback, Lita noticed that it was extremely bright outside. She thought it was odd, given that they had spent less than an hour waiting for passport check-in, and there was no way it should be light out yet.

"Hey, what's going on?" she asked, glancing out the window.

"How you mean, mademoiselle?" the driver asked.

"Why's it so bri—?"

She stopped herself. Black Hat watched her curiously as she rolled down the window and leaned out to get a better look.

It was three in the morning, and yet the city of Paris was bathed in golden light. All the buildings were lit up, lamps illuminating the streets like giant fireflies. On top of that, the road was packed with vehicles, their headlights adding to the city's brightness. She gasped as a motorcycle zoomed by. There were even groups of people on the sidewalk, having various conversations.

There was so much light. So much noise. So much life. And yet there wasn't a single police siren within hearing distance.

So much different from the quiet, empty, crime-ridden streets of Hatsville.

"What is it?" Black Hat asked.

"It's just…" She continued to glance up and down the street. "I…I've never seen so many people out so late at night!"

"You are from a small town then,  _non_?" the driver asked.

"You could say that," she said quietly.

Black Hat looked out his own window, trying to see what all the fuss was about. But as he'd been to Paris several times over the millennia, he couldn't see anything to be excited about. It was just usual city life to him.

"Back in Hat…err, Santa Ana," Lita said, pulling her head in and leaning it against her fist as she continued to watch the city go by, "not a lot of people go out at night. The streets are, um…too dangerous."

"Ah," the driver said with a nod. "I cannot say there are no criminals here, but Paris is  _très sûr_ , very safe."

"Yes," Black Hat said with a grunt. "And  _très_ _aburrido_ _._ "

"Is that Spanish for 'exciting?'"

Lita bit her lip. "Err, yeah. Sure."

"We are here!  _L'Hôtel_ _de Feu Lent!_ "

They pulled up in front of a hotel with five stars lit beneath its name.

"Whoa!" Lita said, sticking her head out the window. "You didn't say we were staying at a  _five-star_  hotel!"

"You think I'd have us stay in a rundown motel?" Black Hat said as he came around to open the door for her. "With the amount  _I_  make?"

"Your husband," the cab driver said he got their suitcases from the trunk, "he spoils you!"

"Nah, he's just a big spender," Lita said, strapping on her backpack. "A  _really_  big spender."

After receiving his pay from Black Hat, the driver tipped his hat and stepped back into his cab. " _Bonne chance_  with the honeymoon!"

Lita smiled and waved as the old man drove away. Once he was far enough down the street, she punched her fake husband in the arm.

"A  _dozen kids_?!" she shouted with a scowl.

"He had asked," Black Hat said, picking up their suitcases.

"Yeah, but…a  _dozen_?! I swear, if you brought me along on this trip just to annoy the hell out of me, two can play at—"

"All part of the act, my dear," he said, calmly handing Lita her suitcase. "Don't take whatever I say to you in regards to our 'marriage' seriously."

Huffing, she took her suitcase. "You're lucky I liked the guy and didn't want him getting caught in the middle of our lovers' tiff!"

"Our first quarrel already," he said, wrapping his free arm around her as he walked her into the hotel. "You'd think we'd been married for much longer."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why do I get the feeling you're enjoying this a little  _too_ much?"

"Because it's just so  _enjoyable_ watching you squirm in embarrassment," he said with a wink.

There were a few people on the sidewalk, turning to stare at the couple as they passed by. Lita knew  _why_  they were staring. It was Black Hat's out-of-place Victorian outfit. She must've looked so awkward next to him, wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans.

_Seriously, how can anyone believe I'm married to this guy?!_

Her annoyance with him didn't last long, as they had just entered the hotel lobby. It was so massive, the walls and floors made of pristine white marble. Honestly, she'd never seen a room so clean! Her eyes were still wandering around as Black Hat walked her to the front desk where a brunette woman was waiting with a smile.

Lita didn't understand one word of their conversation, as it was all in French. But she figured it was just Black Hat checking them into their room. Besides, she was too busy taking in everything to pay attention.

Once Black Hat had the keycards and gave the receptionist a polite " _merci beaucoup_ ," he led Lita over to an elevator that looked like it was made out of solid gold. She wondered why the elevator back at the mansion didn't look like this. She was surprised to find someone in a green bellhop's uniform inside the elevator.

" _Quel étage, madame et monsieur_?" he asked them.

" _Dix-neuf, s'il-vous-plait_ ," Black Hat said as they stepped inside.

The bellhop pressed the button for the nineteenth floor and the doors closed.

"Which room are we in?" Lita asked.

"1937," her fake husband responded.

"Ah!" the bellhop said. " _La suite nuptiale_ _!_ "

It sounded like he said "nuptial," which caused Lita to blush. Once they were on the nineteenth floor, she whispered to Black Hat.

"Doesn't anyone mind their own business in this city?"

"The French just want to keep their tourists coming in," he replied. "As a result, they act extra  _friendly_."

Lita nodded. "Guess they are in customer service, after all."

When they reached their room, Black Hat slid the key into the slot. The first thing Lita noticed about the room was its size. In fact, it was more like an apartment! On top of there being a bed, there was a living area with white couches and a glass coffee table. She was about to gasp in excitement when she got a better look at the bed.

It was king-sized, with light pink covers and red heart-shaped pillows. Rose petals were sprinkled all over it. Two table sat on either side, one holding a bouquet of flowers, the other a bucket holding a bottle of champagne in ice, a tray of two champagne glasses beside it.

"That was  _agonizing_!" Black Hat let out a sigh of relief as he reverted to his normal form.

"Um," Lita said, still staring at the bed in horror. "Is that the… _only_  bed?"

"Oh, yes," he said, dropping his suitcase on the couch. "Make yourself at home."

A panicking thought crept into her brain as the demon began removing his coat. Her eyes flitted between him and the lovey-dovey bed.

Had her boss taken her to Paris for…something else?

"Err, uh, boss?" she said, backing towards the door. "I, uh…think you're an okay guy and all, but, uh…you should know that…I'm not the kind of girl who…" She reached for the door handle. "Not to insult your manhood, but…I don't think of you in that way and…if this was the only reason you brought me here, I, uh…I can't let you…"

Confused, Black Hat followed the direction of her fearful gaze, and understood.

"Oh, for goodness…" He facepalmed himself. "Don't flatter yourself, you idiot! I only reserved the honeymoon suite as part of our charade! And since I don't require sleep, only  _you_  will be occupying that bed!"

"Oh!" She sighed in relief, her cheeks growing pinker. "Right. You don't sleep. I, uh, nearly forgot."

Eager to get past the awkwardness, Lita set her suitcase down on the bed and occupied herself with exploring the rest of the room. Next to the bed was a long set of gold, drawn curtains that Lita could only assume covered a window. There was a flat-screen television on the wall across from the bed. Turning it on, Lita found there were at least fifty TV channels, all in French, and nearly a hundred movies available for rent. Those were at least available in multiple languages.

Another door led to a bathroom, which was also enormous. Along with two polished sinks, there was a shower and a jacuzzi tub. There was also some small footbath or something next to the toilet, which she didn't know the name of. She would ask Black Hat about it later.

Having finished with the bathroom, Lita decided to open the curtains. She gasped when she discovered that they didn't conceal a window, but glass doors to a balcony! It wasn't a very large balcony, but big enough for a small glass table and two spiral-framed chairs. Lita stepped out to get a better look at the city below.

Being on the nineteenth floor gave her an incredible view. She watched the lights of the many rushing vehicles dance in the darkness, the street lamps making the city look like a glowing grid. In the distance, she could see the glimmering outline of the famous Eiffel Tower, one of the many things she'd dreamed of seeing, but never thought she'd actually get to see!

"Warn me next time you open the curtains like that!" Black Hat exclaimed, stepping out in his human disguise.

"Sorry," she said, sending him an apologetic glance. "I just…it's all…" She leaned against the rail. "It's all so…so  _beautiful_."

Black Hat glanced downward. "All I see is a city. At night."

Lita frowned at him. "I heard what you said in the cab, you know. How can you call all this  _boring_?!"

He shrugged. "When you've seen something a thousand times, you start to lose interest." He lay his hands on the rail next to her. "Meanwhile,  _I_  simply cannot see what has you so entranced."

"You've seen Hatsville," she said, gesturing outward. "It's never like  _this_  at night! So…so… _alive_!" She sighed sadly. "Wish my mom and papi could see this. We used to go to the harbor all the time and watch the sunset. We'd…we'd talk about getting a boat—Papi said he was gonna steal one—and sailing out to meet that sunset. That's…that's…"

"How small your world was?"

She looked at him in surprise. "Y-Yeah."

He nodded as he took another glance at the city. "I suppose this isn't anything like the island. Must be overwhelming, seeing all of this for the first time."

"Well, yeah. But also…really exciting! Like I'm…I feel…"

"Significantly small?" His voice got quieter. "Now that you've discovered the world is much more immense than you'd thought?"

"Um…yeah. But at the same time, it's like I'm…big? Because I feel…you know, like…"

"Like you've been set free? Now that you're out in the world, you can go anywhere you please? That you should take as much of it in as possible?"

She stared at him silently for a long moment. "Y-Yeah. H-How did you—?"

"What are you wearing to the meeting?" Black Hat said, suddenly spinning around.

Tilting her head, Lita followed him back inside. The abrupt subject change was curious, but based on the tenseness in his shoulders, she decided not to press him.

"Oh," she said, going over to the bed. "Well, I packed a little something, if you want a look at it."

She quickly brushed the rose petals off the covers while Black Hat shut the curtains and took on his demon form. Lita then unzipped her suitcase and opened it up. The surprise she was met with caused her to squeak.

Laying on the very top was a small, very thin, black negligee.

"What the…how did…?" she said, taking a strap up between her fingers.

"My, my, Miss Gris," Black Hat said sultrily as he came up behind her. "I didn't think you were willing to take this whole honeymoon charade  _that_  far."

She looked back at him angrily. She knew that teasing smirk well enough.

" _You_  put this in here, didn't you?" Lita said, holding the negligee up like a dirty diaper. "So, was I right that you  _do_  have an ulterior motive for this trip?!"

"Oh, no," he said with a toothy grin. "I just wanted to see your reaction."

With a grunt, she threw the negligee at his face, only for him to catch it in his claw. "You're a real pervert, you know that?!"

"You should've thought about that before you married me," Black Hat said, causing the negligee to burn up in his hand.

"Knock it off!" She turned back to her suitcase. "Anyway, this is my best work outfit. I bought it back when I was a secretary for—"

The demon frowned. "You're not wearing  _that_  to the meeting, are you?"

Lita picked up her smartest white blouse, and stared down at the khakis folded on top. "What's wrong with this?"

He rolled his eye as if it were obvious. "Well, it doesn't exactly scream 'professional villain' now, does it?"

"I thought we were supposed to lay low."

"Yes," Black Hat said, using his cane to swipe the blouse out of her hands. "But you're also part of a professional organization. In fact, I've been meaning to talk about your appearance for a while." He gestured to her body. "You look too innocent! You barely even resemble an adult!"

She gasped. "Hey! I can't help it if I'm a little short!"

"Your size isn't the point here!" He dragged her to a full-length mirror on the other side of the room. She was surprised to suddenly find herself in her white blouse and khakis. "You see?  _No_  villain is going to take you seriously dressed like an intern! Megamind hardly took you seriously last week!"

She scowled at him. " _You_ were the one who teleported me in while I was cleaning the—"

"And while an innocent appearance is good for when you wish to lure someone into a false sense of security, it simply won't do when meeting a potential client for the first time! What's he going to think when I show up with someone so… _cutesy_  as an entourage?"

Her face was growing red with rage. "Then why the hell do you keep 5—?"

"We'll just have to get you a proper work outfit before our meeting. Fortunately, there are plenty of clothing stores in Paris."

She was momentarily taken aback by that. "You mean you're gonna take me shopping in P—?"

"And our meeting is not until tomorrow, which will give us ample time to correct," Black Hat said, gesturing to her in disgust, " _this_."

That was the final straw.

"Alright, Mr. Fashion Police," Lita said, placing her hands on her hips. "Let's talk about  _your_  outfit for a moment!"

His jaw dropped. " _My_  outfit?"

"Yes,  _your_ outfit!" Grabbing his shoulders, she moved him in front so that his reflection was in the mirror. "All this talk about blending in, putting on a human face, yet you stick out like a sore thumb with this Charles Dickins cosplay! Seriously, this isn't the nineteenth century!"

He gritted his teeth together. "This is a respectable ensemble!"

"Respectable and  _old_!" she said with a huff. "It works when you're a villainous demon, but not as a human! Not even the Brits dress like this anymore! You're supposed to look like a newlywed on a vacation! A  _vacation_! You're not going to the opera!"

"A very  _wealthy_  newlywed!" he said, gesturing to their extremely lavish hotel room.

"Okay, okay," she said holding up her hands. "So, you wanna blend in, but also show off your wealth. Give me a challenge, will ya?"

Crossing his arms, he turned to face her. "Why is this so important to you?"

She shrugged. "Call it a side effect from working in a bunch of clothing stores. Besides, I can't be embarrassed to be seen with you."

He clenched his claws into fists. "How  _dare_  you speak to me in that—?"

"Shut up, I'm thinking," she said, tapping her chin as she circled him. "First off, lose the spats. You're not Scrooge McDuck."

"I'm not going to stand here idly by while you blatantly insult my—"

"And what's with the gloves? We're inside! Plus, it's summer!" She paused. "Hey, why  _do_  you always wear gloves?"

Black Hat held up his claws. "They complete the ensemble."

She huffed. "Right. You sure it's not because you're afraid to touch people?"

His eye narrowed. " _Excuse me_?"

"Of course, I totally get it if you're a germophobe. It would explain a lot. After all, you didn't like it when I hug—"

Growling, he yanked the glove off his right hand. "I'll show  _you_  who's afraid!"

Lita was caught completely off-guard when her left hand was snatched up and he held it there for a long moment. Without the glove, his hand felt ten times colder, like her hand was encased in ice. There was nothing surprising about its appearance, as it was merely a claw-like hand, black like the rest of his body.

But despite how cold it was, its skin was surprisingly smooth. She supposed because of his ability to regenerate, he didn't get any blisters or callouses. His grip was firm, but not enough to hurt her. There was a shiver down her spine, which she blamed on the low temperature.

Black Hat's scowl faded away, once he realized this was the first time his skin was touching hers. Contrasting to his hand, hers was pleasantly warm. Her brown skin was soft on the surface, but he could feel the strong muscle beneath it. He felt a tingle down his spin, which he blamed on the high temperature.

Unable to take the iciness anymore, Lita yanked her hand out of his grasp.

"Sheesh," she said, rubbing her hand for warmth. "On second thought, keep the gloves on. You're less likely to give people hypothermia that way."

"R-Right," Black Hat said, snapping out of his daze as he put his glove back on. "You know, you do have a point." Turning back to the mirror, he put on his human disguise. "If I'm to go about incognito, I will have to change more than my face."

"Not to mention the hat is a dead giveaway," Lita said, flicking the brim of his hat.

"Don't," he said, slapping her hand away. "Touch. The hat."

"Sorry," she said, stepping back. "But considering it's your trademark, you're gonna have to make it look like something less conspicuous."

"Fine." He put his hands on his hips. "What would  _you_  suggest?"

"Hmm." She smiled mischievously. "You know, most tourists wear a Hawaiian shirt and baseball cap."

His scowl returned. "I'm going to strangle you."

"Alright, I'm done with the jokes anyway." She glanced down at her own attire. "How about we make a deal? You help me with my business outfit, I'll help you with your human disguise. Sound good?"

She held out her hand. He seemed hesitant to take it again, despite his glove being back on.

"You're not going to stop criticizing me until I let you do this, are you?" he asked bluntly.

She smirked. "What do  _you_  think?"

After a moment of hard staring, Black Hat sighed and shook her hand. "If you make me look like an idiot, I will kill you."

"Ditto," Lita said cheerfully. "Now, about that trench coat…"

* * *

"I've never  _seen_  so many different types of bread!" Lita exclaimed.

She and Black Hat were in the hotel's breakfast room. Apparently, no matter what you ordered, you got a huge basket of bread and pastries. She recognized the croissants and small baguettes, but there were at least five other kinds in the basket! Eager to try them all, Lita didn't even bother with the butter or jam and just started stuffing a random piece in her mouth.

"Oh my gosh!" she said between bites. "There's freaking  _chocolate_  in here?!"

Black Hat stopped sipping his tea to stare at her.

As per her suggestion, he had changed his clothes into something less outlandish. Instead of a trench coat, he wore a navy-blue blazer over a white undershirt. He had ditched his spats and tie, though kept his cane and gloves, the latter now white. His shoes were now brown, his slacks tan, as Lita had insisted those colors went better with navy. His top hat had been replaced with a gray fedora, as he had declared it would be unthinkable for him to go anywhere without any headgear. He still maintained a somewhat formal look, though a little more relaxed. At least this way, he didn't stand out as much.

"Now you look like someone I'd be married to," Lita had said back in the hotel room.

After a glance at her so-called work outfit, he had responded, "Wish I could say the same for you."

Though he had to admit when it came to human fashion, she knew what she was talking about. At least he didn't feel ridiculous.

As she gorged on the different types of bread, it occurred to Black Hat that he had never seen her eat before, as he'd always dined apart from the others. She ate quite voraciously, not taking many pauses between bites. Yet somehow, she managed not to choke herself, or make a mess.

"You eat as if you don't know when your next meal is going to be," he said aloud.

"Well," Lita said, biting off half a croissant, "that used to be the case." She swallowed. "You know, when I had to work to pay off my papi's debts to  _you_." Shrugging, she picked up a baguette. "Guess it's become a habit to just enjoy as much as I can."

She eyed the teacup in his hand. "What about you? You gonna have some?"

"I don't require as much sustenance as you humans," he said, taking a sip.

She chomped on her baguette. "Why do you have us cook for you then?"

"While it isn't necessary for me to eat," he said, setting the cup down on his saucer, "I still enjoy the taste of food."

"Right." Rolling her eyes, she scarfed down the rest of the baguette. "You eat all the food we prepare for you when you don't even need it. Probably don't even know what it's like for the rest of us who can barely afford to feed ourselves."

"You'd be surprised," he said in a whisper.

Lita tilted her head as she grabbed a  _pain au chocolat_. "So, why don't you eat now?"

"Oh, I never eat in front of others."

"Why?" She bit into the pastry. "You really messy or something?"

Instead of answering her, he simply said, "Please, don't talk with your mouth full. It's unseemly."

* * *

After breakfast, Black Hat escorted Lita outside. As it'd been so long since she'd seen the sun, her eyes took a while to adjust to the light.

"So," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Are we taking a cab?"

"We're in no hurry," Black Hat said as he began strolling down the street. "We can walk."

"Walk?"

As soon as she could see, the sight of the many people moving around her shocked her. Apparently, Paris was a lot more crowded than Hatsville. And noisier too. And smellier. Her nose twitched from the many lit cigarettes polluting the air. Her stomach churned from seeing so many people in one place. So many  _hands_  in one place.

Tightening the straps on her backpack, she ran to catch up to Black Hat.

"No problem!" she squeaked as she clung to her fake husband's arm. "I, uh, used to walk around town all the time! It's, uh, good exercise!"

Her touch caused him to flinch, but he didn't say anything as they were supposed to be married. He wondered why she was suddenly so nervous, however. Perhaps she was overthinking their charade again.

She was still wearing that white blouse and khakis. She'd probably been in no mood to change. It really did make her look younger than she actually was. Which, of course, would make their pretense problematic.

 _I should've thought this through_ , he thought.  _Who would believe I'm married to a little thing like_ her _?_

* * *

"Nope," Black Hat said gruffly. "That won't do either."

Lita glanced down at the outfit she had tried on. It was a smart black blazer with matching pants.

"Now what's wrong with this one?" she said, turning around in front of the three-way mirror. "It's your favorite color, isn't it?"

He shook his head. "You look like you're selling insurance."

Placing her hands on her hips, she faced him. "You said business casual!"

"Yes, but not so…" He cringed as he looked her over. " _Cutesy_."

She groaned. "That's what you said about the last five outfits! Ever considered the fact that  _I_  just might be  _cute_?!"

"You're not  _supposed_  to look cute! You're representing our organization!"

"Says the guy who has a freaking Care Bear as a housekeeper!"

"That was  _not_  my idea! I can't  _kill_  the thing, so I have no choice but to—"

"May I be of some assistance?" a blonde woman in an employee's uniform asked, stepping up to the couple.

Black Hat was about to tell her to stay out of their business, when Lita exclaimed, "Yes! I'm trying to find an outfit for a, uh…office party, but my bo— _husband_  here seems to think all the outfits I pick are too," she sent him a furious look, " _cutesy_!"

He growled at her. "I am simply saying she could do with something a bit more  _sophisticated_! Something that makes her look more ev—I mean  _mature_!"

"But I still have to be able to move in it, you know?"

The employee nodded. "Like…how you say in English…casual smart?"

"Yes!" Lita threw her hands up in the air in gratitude. "Exactly that!"

"I may know just the thing!" the French woman said brightly. "If I may?"

"Certainly!" Black Hat said, eager to try anything to get this over with. "Talk some fashion sense into this woman!"

"Says the guy who still wears spats," Lita murmured before going back behind the curtain to change.

The employee returned a few minutes later with a bundle of gray. She handed it to Lita so fast, Black Hat didn't have time to inspect it.

"I think your husband will like it, madame," she whispered to Lita.

Lita nodded politely as she disappeared behind the curtain.

Black Hat eyed the French woman suspiciously. "I swear, if what  _you_  picked turns out to be—"

"You say 'cutesy' one more time," Lita called from behind the curtain, "and I will stab you in the eye!"

The saleswoman forced a chuckle. "You Americans with your humor."

"Yeah, we're real funny!"

When Lita stepped out, Black Hat's fake eyes widened. She wore a gray, A-line military walker coat, embellished with six black double-breasted buttons. The collar was low, showing the black shirt underneath. She also wore thin black pants that matched her boots from Flug perfectly. Lita posed in front of the mirrors, admiring herself from all angles.

"Huh," she said with a nod. "From one salesgirl to another, you do pretty good work, mademoiselle. What do you think, bo—err, honey?"

Black Hat gripped the hilt of his cane. "It's, um…decent. But…it's still missing something."

Lita rubbed her chin in thought. While the outfit did look good on her, she didn't think this was the "villain" look her boss had in mind. Glancing at him in the mirror, at the outfit she had chosen for him, she got an idea.

"Maybe it needs a…hat?" She turned to the saleswoman. "A  _chapeau_?"

" _Oui_ _,_ madame!" the lady said, holding up a finger. "One moment,  _s'il vous plait_!"

She returned a few minutes later with a wide-brimmed hat the same color as the coat, with a black band around it. She put it on Lita, who had trouble fitting it with her ponytail pushing up against it. After a thought, she took out her scrunchie and fluffed her hair out before putting the hat on. When she looked in the mirrors, Lita laughed.

"I look like a gray Carmen Sandiego!" She straightened out the hat. "Kind of appropriate, huh, _querido_?"

If she'd been paying attention to Black Hat's reflection, she would've seen his mouth open, his eyes wandering up and down her body. He'd been training her to be a villainess, but this was the first time she looked the part. Professional, yet with a suggestion of slyness. And with her hair down like that, she appeared less cutesy and more… He couldn't find the word. Mature? Yes, that was it. This outfit was certainly more mature than her usual ones, bumping her up from a youthful twenty-five to a distinguished thirty.

Not only did she look more villainous, but someone he could be married to. For the charade's sake, of course.

"Or maybe the hat is too much?" Lita said, a bit unsurely. "What do you think, Mr. Bla—I mean, uh, Cyrus?" When she received no reply, she turned around to find her boss wearing a dumbfounded expression. "C-Cyrus? Are you okay?"

Black Hat shook his head. "I-It'll do."

"Really?" she said in surprise. "No nitpicks? No insults? No 'it's too  _cutesy_?'"

"No," he said with a huff.

The saleslady giggled. "I think he likes it."

His human face became pinker. "I do  _not_!"

"So, we're not getting it then?" Lita asked in confusion.

"No, didn't you hear me?! It's perfect!" He turned to the French woman. "Now ring us up, will you?! We've wasted enough time already!"

* * *

As the pretend couple walked the streets of Paris side by side, Lita began noticing the many people looking at her as they passed by. Self-consciously, she shoved her hands into the pockets of her new coat and slouched over, as she had done in Hatsville. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to stop the stares from piercing into her.

_Why are all these people looking at me? Are they all out to mug me?!_

She didn't realize one of the stares was coming from her fake husband. Without meaning to, Black Hat found himself glancing sideways at her every few seconds, catching glimpses of her new ensemble. He never thought he'd say this about another being, let alone one of his employees, but he took pleasure in the way she looked. Not just with how much more she resembled a villain, but the fact that her hair was out of its ponytail. Had it always been that long? That…thick?

He couldn't understand it. He'd never been an admirer of human beauty—or any beauty, for that matter—and yet he found the sight of Lita aesthetically pleasing. There was a sort of awe about her today that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Maybe it was her captivating new outfit. Maybe it was the curious gleam in her baby-blue eyes, or the delightful smile that sprouted on her face whenever she saw something new.

But then her face twisted into an anxious expression, and her baby-blue eyes flicked around in panic. He watched in confusion as she slouched over, her hat tipping forward, as if she didn't want to be seen. It was then that he noticed the many people stealing glances at her. Most of them  _men._

Black Hat knew why they were looking at her with those lustful eyes. He knew what they were thinking in those sick brains of theirs. Didn't they realize this woman belonged to him? True, she wasn't really his wife, but she was still his property.

And Black Hat didn't like it when others coveted his property.

Sending a subtle glare to a few passing men, the disguised demon snaked his hand around Lita's waist, bringing her close to him. The message was clear, as fewer stares lingered on them now.

Lita was startled to feel her boss' cold hand on her waist, but didn't complain as she was pressed to his side. It was actually reassuring, knowing he was there, and that no one would try to pick her pocket or pull her into an alley with him at her side. Then she concluded that he had probably done this as part of their pretense, but was still grateful.

"You, uh," Lita said, hoping conversation would take her mind off all the people around her, "said we weren't meeting the client until tomorrow. What are we supposed to do until then?"

"I was wondering when you'd ask," Black Hat said, spinning his cane around. "I thought we could tour the city, see the sights."

She looked up at him in surprise. "R-Really?"

He smirked at her. "You said you wanted to see the world, didn't you? Spend at least one day off the island?"

She moved a little away from him. "You…you'd do that? I mean you said you'd been here before already. I don't want you to get bored."

"I'd be even  _more_  bored if we just stayed in the hotel all day. Besides, I want to see if this miserable city has changed at all since last I was here."

"When was the last time you were here?"

He gave a toothy grin that would've been a whole lot creepier had he still had his fangs. "You heard about that fire on Notre Dame?"

Lita stopped in her tracks. "That…that was  _you_?"

Black Hat nodded with a chuckle.

"Why?"

He shrugged. "It was a slow day."

" _Caramba_ ," she said, shaking her head. "I may be atheist, but burning a place of worship just for the fun of it? That's just cold, dude."

"I'm a demon, what do you expect?"

They continued walking.

"Wouldn't it be faster to take a cab?" Lita asked. "Or a bus? Or the metro?"

"I like walking," he said, folding a hand behind his back. "It allows me to take in my surroundings properly."

She cocked an eyebrow. "I didn't take you for a stop-and-smell-the-roses kind of guy."

He leaned in to whisper, "I prefer to smell the deadly nightshade."

Lita coughed as she fanned her hand between herself and her boss. "You changed your skin, but you couldn't have fixed your breath?"

Black Hat only snickered. "Apologies, but my all-soul diet doesn't exactly produce minty freshness."

He breathed on her more, causing her to laugh as she pushed his face away.

"You are so  _gross_!"

"You're the one who married me," he said, waving his ring.

"Yeah, well you're this close to getting a divorce." She smirked. "Or maybe I'll just murder you and inherit all your money."

"I suspected you were a gold-digger. I just thought you'd be more subtle about it."

"Well, you did get us a fancy hotel room and this nice new outfit." Lita tipped her hat. "Being a black widow sounds  _much_  better than being a trophy wife."

"In that case, I should write you out of my will, leave everything to Flug."

"Just Flug? At least leave something to Dementia, after her heartbreak from you getting married to someone else."

"Very well then. She can have my weapons vault." He nudged her arm. "All  _you'll_  be getting is my finest piece of rope, so that you may hang yourself."

"Ha!" Lita placed her hands on her hips. "Well, if you're not leaving me anything, I'll just divorce you and settle for half your fortune. And with your abusive history, I'll get custody of our dozen kids."

"Good luck with that! I've got every lawyer on the island in my pocket! You'd be lucky if you get my car!"

"But since  _most_  courts favor the wife, you'd end up with the short end of the—"

"Excuse me?" said a voice.

Lita tensed as she felt a tap on her shoulder. Out of instinct, she grabbed the stranger's wrist with one hand, spun around, gripped their arm with her other hand, and flung them to the ground. Popping up her boot, she whipped out one of her knives and pointed it at her assailant's neck.

"Hey, hey! Easy! I just wanted to ask if you knew where the Eiffel Tower was!"

She finally took the time to look at her "attacker." It was a large white man in a baseball cap and an "I Heart Paris" shirt. Sure enough, a travel book was in his hand. Blushing in embarrassment, Lita released him and put her knife away.

"S-Sorry," she said, stepping back. "I, uh…I was just…"

The American tourist sprang up and ran as far away from her as possible. Black Hat had watched this entire scene with wide eyes. By the time Lita turned to him, he was snickering.

"I know  _I_  often injure strangers for no reason. But I hardly think that was called for."

"He, just, um…" Lita bit her lip. "Startled me. That's all."

"I see." He noted that she was slouching again. "A little high-strung today, are we?"

"Well, it's just…" Glancing around, she took a step closer to Black Hat. "Usually when I walk the streets, someone is trying to mug me."

He nodded, remembering her nervousness earlier. She probably wasn't so used to so much attention from strangers. Her tendency to wear plain attire, despite having an apparent knowledge of fashion, was starting to make sense now.

"I can understand that," he said. "But this isn't Hat Island. Although, I suppose Paris has its fair share of crime as well. And it  _would_  be easier for one to pick another's pocket in a crowd like this."

"Not helping," she said with a scowl.

"First needles, then flying, now crowds." He tsked. "Honestly, Miss Gris, why must your fears be so  _basic_?"

Her face turned red. "At least they're rational! Mostly!"

Sighing, Black Hat placed a hand on her shoulder. "You'll make yourself an easier target, looking all tense and vulnerable like that, my dear. If you're going to be a villain, you'll need to correct the way you carry yourself out in public." He threw up his cane and caught it. "Be poised, relaxed, with an air of confidence."

"Easy for  _you_  to say," she said, brushing his hand off her shoulder. "If  _you_  get attacked, you'd just beat the perp to a pulp."

"As can you," he said, his cane pointing in the direction the tourist had run, "as you've so graciously demonstrated."

He had a point.

"So stop walking around all hunched over and paranoid like everyone is about to devour you," he said gruffly. "You look like easy prey."

"But if I don't stay alert for—"

"Miss Gris," he said, moving behind her, "take a look." He gestured to the crowd surrounding them. "You're smarter and stronger than at least ninety percent of these maggots here."

She scrunched her nose. "Ninety?"

"Excluding that group of bodybuilders over there and myself, of course. The point is," he said, coming back round to face her, "you have the skill to defend yourself, and shouldn't spend so much time fretting about potential danger that may or may not come. Yes, it is good to be aware of your surroundings, but not to a point where you're reacting without thought, and not taking the time to live in the moment."

He gave her a serious look. "I know how confident you are in your abilities. Now show it."

She blinked up at him. "H-How?"

Lita yelped as his cane struck her back.

"Back straight," he said, gripping her shoulders, "shoulders back," he lifted her chin with his finger, "chin up, eyes forward, ears open. Walk with pride, like you own everything around you, like nothing can ruin your day. And if anything does…well, you know what to do then."

His cane tapped against her legs, causing her to stumble forward. After sending him a glare, Lita proceeded to walk as per his instructions. She didn't see the point in this. Of course, Black Hat would walk like he owned everything. That was at least the case back on the island.

Then she realized the difference in keeping her eyes ahead rather than towards the ground. She could see everything better. In the daylight, she had a better view of the buildings. They were so much taller than the ones in Hatsville, and much more intricately designed. They were old-fashioned in a stylish way, each one distinct in color. The street they were walking on was also made of cobblestones, with bicycles going by alongside the cars. Upon hearing music, she spied a group of performers across the road.

The bounce in her step increased by the second. Why had she been so nervous? She was in Paris! Not the crime capital of the world! All her life, she'd dreamed of coming to a city like this, and here she was! This day was hers and nothing was going to ruin it!

Just then, somebody tapped on her shoulder. Lita spun around, her hands clenched into fists, but she did not attack immediately. Black Hat stood there with a satisfied grin.

"See?" he said. "Still as alert as ever. And you were taking pleasure in your surroundings, yes?"

She relaxed under his gaze. "Err…yeah. Wow. You knew what you were talking about."

"Of course, I did." He moved to her side. "Remember, I've been traveling much longer than you." He held out his arm. "Shall we then, my lady?"

There was one more reason for Lita not to be nervous. Back in Hatsville, she'd walked the streets alone. Now she didn't have to. And she didn't know if it was his human disguise, or his gentlemanly demeanor, but she didn't feel so uncomfortable with him anymore. Today, he wasn't her boss, but her traveling companion.

" _Oui, oui_ _,_ monsieur," Lita said, accepting his arm.

As they strutted the street together, those who dared to glance their way couldn't help but admire what a sophisticated couple they made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you a lot would be happening in Paris.
> 
> I knew I was going to have them go on a trip somewhere, and I chose Paris for a number of reasons. Other than it being the clichéd romance destination, I'd actually been to Paris and I took French class. Also, it was a huge contrast to how I'd set up Hatsville (turns out that's the city's name and it's only a part of Hat Island). Not to mention there was a certain villain living there.
> 
> So, when coming up with Lita's outfit, I sort of had a Carmen Sandiego thing in mind, but didn't want to copy it too much. Then one day, this lady came into my workplace wearing the coat described in here (gray too), and I thought it was perfect! The muse works in mysterious ways.
> 
> Paris fluff is not over yet! This chapter was just getting long. UGH! This couple just won't shut up!


	25. City of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita and Black Hat tour the City of Love.
> 
> Theme songs for this chapter: "A Whole New World," "I See the Light"...basically insert any Disney love song here!

 

"When I imagined myself climbing the Eiffel Tower," Lita said, "I didn't think it would be  _this_  crowded."

She gasped as yet another tourist pushed past her. She had to cling to Black Hat's arm to avoid getting lost in the sweaty muddle. Gazing up at the structure, Lita let out a groan at the fact that they were still on the first level after what felt like an hour.

"We just  _had_  to come in the middle of tourist season, didn't we?" she said in exasperation.

"Oh, trust me," Black Hat said. "It's like this  _all_  the time."

Lita reached back to check that her backpack was secure for the twelfth time.

"What did I say about being paranoid?" he said, eyeing her backpack.

"You can't blame me! Anyone could easily slip their hand in my bag or pocket and—"

He put a finger over her lips. "I'll add 'get Flug to invent a highly secured bag and or paranoia reducer ray' to my to-do list." He grinned as a playful thought occurred to him. "Of course, if you'd prefer to avoid the huddled masses, we can always take the  _shortcut_  to the top."

She eyed him suspiciously. "What exactly do you mean by—?"

"Hold tight."

Before she could protest, he pulled her close to his chest and for a moment, everything went black. The next thing Lita saw was blue. Lots of blue. Lita couldn't feel anything beneath her feet. Glancing down, she discovered that they were suspended high above the Eiffel Tower.

Black Hat had teleported them away from the crowds. And away from the  _ground_!

Yelping, Lita clung to the only thing around, which was Black Hat. He was laughing as she attempted to climb onto him.

"Oopsie," he said innocently. "Must have miscalculated the distance."

In an instant, they were on the tower again. As soon as Lita's feet were down, she glared furiously at her boss.

"You did that on purpose!"

"Of course, I did," Black Hat said nonchalantly. "And it was worth seeing the terrified look on your face."

She pointed her finger in his smug face. "That wasn't funny! And if you pull something like that again, I'll scream really loud and the police will come running! Yeah, I know they can't really arrest you, but it'll at least annoy you for—"

Tired of her empty threats, Black Hat gripped her shoulders and spun her around. The spectacular view she was met with shut her up immediately.

On the top floor of the Eiffel Tower, one could see all of Paris. Her mouth agape, Lita went up to the rail and looked out at the city below. It was even more incredible in the daytime! Every detail of every tree, every building, every vehicle was now in plain sight.

The better part was that there were fewer people at the top, so no one was bumping into or brushing against her.

"Oh, wow," she whispered, leaning against the rail. "This view beats the one from the hotel! You can see everything from up here! Look! There's the Arc de Triomphe! Can we go there next?"

Black Hat shook his head. "We'll save that for this evening."

She frowned. "But it's so close by. Wouldn't it make sense to just go now?"

"Patience, dear. You'll see my reasoning soon."

"Ooh! There's the Notre Dame!" She cringed. "Sheesh. You really did a number on that one, boss." The next sight caused her to cock an eyebrow. "I thought the Statue of Liberty was in New York."

"That's merely a replica," Black Hat explained. "Shortly after the French presented the original Statue of Liberty to the Americans, the Americans returned the favor by giving the French a replica of inferior size."

Lita scrunched her nose. "So…they basically gave them the same gift, only smaller?"

He smirked. "Americans truly are my favorite kind of clients."

Eager to get a better look at all the monuments, Lita eyed a telescope nearby. Following her gaze, Black Hat reached into his jacket and produced a euro coin.

"Thanks!" she exclaimed, swiping the coin and dropping it into the slot.

Placing the lens in front of her eye, she swiveled the telescope around, trying to re-find the monuments. In her search, she came across a glass pyramid she recognized immediately.

"Hey, the Louvre! Papi told me about that one job he did there! Oh, but you know all about that, don't you? I've always wanted to see all the paintings he talked about!"

"We can go there next, if you'd like," Black Hat said.

"Cool!" She frowned. "Oh, but it looks like a bit of a walk! Sure you don't wanna grab a cab or—?"

"No need!"

As she was suddenly pulled to his side, Lita's eyes widened in realization.

"Oh no! Don't you dare—"

The two of them evaporated into shadow.

* * *

"I really thought it'd be bigger," Lita said as they entered the very crowded showroom for the Mona Lisa.

"It's not the size that matters," Black Hat whispered, "it's the value."

They couldn't stay still for long, as the mass of people was moving like a current around the tiny painted woman. People snapped pictures, their flashes glinting off the protective glass, despite the protests from the security guards to turn off their flash.

Black Hat was completely uninterested in the painting, but he noticed that Lita couldn't take her eyes off it. They were wide with intrigue and desire. Oh, he knew that look well.

"You want to steal it, don't you?" he said with a smirk.

"What?" Lita blushed. "N-No, I—"

"Oh, you're just  _itching_  to. Just admit it." He nudged her side playfully. "After all, to steal the most famous painting in the world would be an impressive feat."

She bit her lip guiltily, her eyes flitting between him and the painting. "M-Maybe a…a little?"

He chuckled. "While I admire your ambition, darling, I'm afraid we cannot afford to draw too much attention at the moment. Besides," he whispered, leaning in close, "you wouldn't want to steal a forgery."

"Say what now?" she said, looking back at the Mona Lisa in disbelief.

"I stole the original decades ago."

She gaped at him. "You're joking!"

He shook his head proudly.

" _How_?!"

"I took the  _shortcut_." Black Hat said, wriggling his brow. "After that, it was like taking candy from a baby."

"But where the hell did you get…?" Glancing at the security guards, Lita lowered her voice. "A forgery?"

"Painted it myself."

" _WHAT?!_ "

"Not so loud, if you please."

Lita whispered, "You mean you made an actual flawless copy of Da Vinci's masterpiece?!"

"Mmm-hmm," he said with a nod.

"And got  _away_  with it?!"

"The Mona Lisa's eyes following you everywhere you go was my personal touch," he said with a mischievous grin.

She shook her head. "I just… _wow_. You really  _are_ the master of villainy! I mean…seriously! What do you even need  _me_  for, dude?"

"What a ridiculous question."

She waited for him to say more. But he didn't.

"So, um…" Lita leaned towards him. "How much did you sell it for?"

"I didn't." He grinned wider. "It's collecting dust in my attic."

She cocked her head. "Then why steal it? Oh, wait. You were just bored, weren't you?"

"Yes. And no. I also sold several other forgeries to clients, passing them off as the original."

"That's…genius. Downright dirty, but genius." Lita hung her head. "I must…seem like an amateur, compared to you."

"Indeed," he said, pulling her closer. "But I like a challenge."

* * *

"Three months ago, if you'd told me I'd be strolling down the Champs-Élysées with the deadliest being in the universe—"

"Multiverse," Black Hat corrected her.

"Right. Still trying to wrap my head around that." Lita laughed. "I would've said, 'Shut the fuck up!'"

After a lunch cruise on the Seine—this had been Lita's first time on a boat—the two of them had toured all around town, from the Luxembourg Gardens to Cleopatra's needle, and then finally dinner at the Moulin Rouge! Lita had been so used to being the server, it felt nice to actually sit down and eat at a restaurant for once. The last time she'd done that had been with Paolo, and she didn't want to think about that period in her life. Black Hat had insisted they leave in the middle of the dinner show, saying he had one last surprise for her. Now here they were on one of the most beautiful streets in the world!

She gazed around in wonder at the illuminated avenue, the neatly trimmed trees giving it a natural touch. Now that night had fallen, the crowds had diminished somewhat, but there were still quite a few people about. Particularly couples of all kinds. Old and young, interracial and same-sex, the City of Love attracted them all.

Lita knew how she and the now human Black Hat must've looked, walking arm in arm. He hadn't complained about her hanging onto him, but he probably found it sickening. Even now, he was cringing at two women sitting in an outdoor café, holding hands and staring lovingly into each other's eyes. A man at the next table was kissing the cheek of the woman sitting beside him. Black Hat was about ready to gag.

"Why does it bother you so much?" Lita asked.

"What?" he said, turning to her.

She looked up at him. "When people show affection. Why does it bother you?"

He snorted. "I've explained to you, villains can't involve love."

"Yeah, but…they're not villains. At least I think so. Can't be sure. Why are you so repulsed by the idea of love?"

"Other than it being utterly disgusting?" He shook his head. "It's simply a waste of time, not amounting to anything other than preserving the species."

"But not all people who fall in love can…procreate," she said, tilting her head towards two men walking hand in hand. "Even if it is between a male and female. And falling in love doesn't necessarily lead to wanting kids."

"Then what is the point of throwing away everything you've worked for all for a single being? No one is  _that_  important!"

Lita frowned. "If you hate love so much, why did you let my parents get married?"

Black Hat groaned. "Your father was desperate to retire, I needed something that was…irreplaceable. So, I agreed to let him pursue the married life if he stole this item for me."

"The Fabergé egg?" she guessed.

He nodded. "You have that egg to thank for your existence."

"I don't get it. What's so special about that egg?"

"Perhaps, one day, I will tell you. But not today." His gaze moved ahead. "I wasn't too thrilled that the mate Ricardo had chosen wasn't another criminal, but at least she wasn't a hero. I had also hoped he would pass his thieving skills onto the next generation, make me some more useful little pawns."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Gee, couldn't you have at least made me a rook?"

He burst out laughing. "Well, at least  _some_  good came out of Ricardo's foolishness."

"He wasn't foolish!" She was getting ticked off now. "Papi just wanted to be the best husband and father he could be!" She hung her head. "He…didn't always make the best decisions, but…he did it all because he cared about me and Mom. You might not get it, but…when you meet someone…someone who you feel understands you, you…you'd do anything for that person. Even…something stupid like—"

"Trading your soul to pay off his debts?" he asked in a serious tone.

Closing her eyes, Lita nodded. Her hands tightened around his arm. She'd been clinging to him all day, and Black Hat found it strange. Even if it was for appearance's sake, his body was still significantly cold. And yet she appeared comfortable, not showing any desire to let go of him.

In truth, Lita had gotten used to his frigid body temperature by now. The summer warmth and her new coat actually canceled the chilliness out, so she wasn't shivering as much.

"You know?" she said after a long pause. "I don't think you ever explained what it means to own someone's soul. I mean to own a body is one thing, but a soul?"

"I'm assuming you didn't read your contract thoroughly before you signed it," Black Hat said, a twinge of disappointment in his tone.

She shrugged. "I was too desperate to really care."

"Well, the difference between owning someone's body and owning someone's soul is that with the former, you have dominion over that body until it expires. With a soul, the contract is binding in the afterlife as well."

Lita stopped in her tracks. "You mean…there is such a place as," she said with a gulp, "H-Hell?"

She had never been religious. With so many supernatural beings in the world, Lita had found it impossible to pledge herself to a single string of beliefs. Obviously, demons existed, but if there actually  _was_  life after death, if there were karmic consequences to all her actions…she was pretty much screwed.

"Yes…and no," Black Hat said, smirking at her fearful tone. "Let us simply say that when a soul leaves the body, it wanders around and can end up in a number of spiritual planes. Some of them are less pleasant than others…and more difficult to escape from. But since I own your soul, I can summon you to do my bidding from whatever spiritual plane you may end up in after you die."

"And…you've seen these spiritual planes?" she asked, leaning closer in interest.

"I get around," he said nonchalantly.

She hung her head. "Do…do you know if…there are certain patterns for…I mean do you know which plane you might…does it matter what you do in life or—?"  
"I have absolutely no idea where your mother's soul went, if that's what you're asking." His tone suddenly became bitter. "She never contracted her soul to me, so I didn't keep track of her."

"Oh," Lita said quietly.

Glancing sideways at her, he caught the sorrowful expression on her face. For some reason, he didn't like that expression. It created a heavy, unfamiliar feeling within his chest. Perhaps he'd simply gotten used to seeing her smile all day. If he could get her to smile again, maybe then he wouldn't feel so…perturbed.

Looking ahead, he found they were nearing their destination. He gently lifted Lita's chin so she could see the wondrous sight ahead of her, causing her to gasp.

The Arc de Triomphe was bathed in golden light, contrasting brilliantly with the black night sky. She could see the intricate carvings of the winged soldiers. For what felt like the hundredth time that day, Lita wished Hatsville had structures such as this!

"Ugh, we're going to be late," Black Hat said, glancing at his pocket watch.

"Late for what?" she asked.

"No matter." He said, shoving the watch back into his pocket. "I wasn't looking forward to dealing with any more long lines and extravagant admission prices."

Her face fell. "We're not going to the top?"

"I'm afraid it would take too long." He shrugged. "Oh, well. I guess you won't be seeing the surprise I had planned after all."

"What surprise? What are we late for?" She tugged on his arm. "Spill it, you're driving me crazy!"

"Doesn't matter." He moved to turn. "Unless we can somehow get up to the top within the next five minutes, we simply can't—"

"We'll take the shortcut!"

He turned back to her, a smug smile on his face. Then Lita realized what he had just done.

"Alright, fine!" She pouted. "Teleporting's convenient, I admit it!"

"I knew you'd see it my way," he said, pulling her close.

A second later, they were at the top of the arch. Apparently, everyone was too enticed in the view to notice that the two of them had appeared out of nowhere. And it was no wonder, for the Eiffel Tower was but a short distance away, all lit up and shining like an enormous star.

"Oh!" Lita put her hand to her mouth as she walked up to the rail. "Is this why you saved this stop for the evening?"

"Indeed," Black Hat said. "Past experience has proven that it is much more fruitful to visit the Eiffel Tower during the day and the Arc de Triomphe at night." He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Just wait a moment, and you'll see the  _real_  reason why."

Lita eyed the position of his hand suspiciously.

"Alright," she said, flinching away from him. "I give up. What's your angle?"

He cocked his head. "Angle?"

"You've been nice to me all day. You've taken me all around one of the most beautiful cities in the world. You took me on a lunch cruise and a freaking dinner show! And now you've got some other surprise waiting for me here? You didn't have to do all this. You could've arranged the flight so we didn't have a whole day to kill before meeting with the client. So…why do this for me? I know it isn't out of the goodness of your heart."

Black Hat took a moment to respond. "I can assure you, Miss Gris, that my reasons are entirely selfish."

"Ah." She nodded. "I get it. You're trying to butter me up, give me what I want so that I actually  _like_  working with you, and  _maybe_  want to be a villain because of it. Is that right?"

He sighed. "You read me like an open book."

"At least the dust jacket," Lita said, leaning on the rail. "I hardly know a thing about you."

Locking gaze with her, he murmured, "You know more than you think."

"Well," she said, turning back to the tower, "I appreciate your honesty, anyway. Even if this was a way of manipulating me to be your loyal lackey, I'm glad you brought me along." She scoffed. "Funnily enough, it sort of worked. I at least like you better."

"Really?" Black Hat said, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah. It's good to know you're not a  _complete_  asshole. And, for what it's worth," she said, elbowing him, "you make a pretty good fake husband."

He chuckled. "And you make a… _decent_  fake wife."

Gasping, Lita pushed him playfully. "Nope! I was wrong! You're an asshole, one hundred percent!"

"And don't you," he said, pushing her back, "forget it."

As they both laughed, Lita noticed the light shining on his human face seemed to shimmer. When she turned back to the Eiffel Tower, she saw that the lights were no longer still, but moving all around the structure! This gave it a twinkling effect, making the tower more magical than before!"

"Wha…?" she said, leaning further onto the rail.

"Ah, right on time," Black Hat said, taking out his pocket watch. "They have this light show every evening, every hour, on the hour. I've seen it several times before, but I figured you would wish to see it at least…"

He trailed off when he caught sight of her. The twinkling lights from the tower were dancing all over her face, reflecting off her wide blue eyes. The smile that had graced her lips only illuminated her features more.

"It's beautiful," she murmured in wonder.

"Y-Yes," he whispered, his gaze focused on her. "I…suppose it is."

She'd been right about him wanting to gain her trust by fulfilling her dream to see the world. If she could see the benefits of being a villain, she'd want to be one more. But that wasn't the only reason.

Black Hat had been to Paris more times than he could count, with the number of clients that had lived there and the profiting revolutions that had occurred within its walls. He'd seen every nook and cranny, even if those nooks and crannies changed every few decades. He'd naturally become bored of the city, as he had with most other cities in the world. Since he was significantly less bored whenever Lita was around, he'd been hoping it would make this trip more interesting.

And he'd been right. He hadn't felt bored all day. But there was something else too.

As he glanced from Lita to the Eiffel Tower, it was as if he were seeing it for the first time. It actually was quite a sight, all those lights blinking rhythmically around the tower. Looking back at his companion, he considered what she had told him earlier about Paris being more alive than Hat Island. It certainly was brighter.

So was her smile.

Black Hat had been feeling strange every time that smile had appeared on her face. And yet, it was pleasant. Was he…happy? That  _she_  was happy? The heavy sensation in his chest suddenly became lighter. Lighter, and warm.

And it terrified him.

"Well, the show is over," Black Hat said once the lights had become stationary again. "I say we return to the hotel and call it a night."

Before he could turn, Lita suddenly grabbed his gloved hand. He looked up to see her bright blue eyes, big and pleading.

"Few more minutes?" she asked, her bottom lip curled into a pout.

He stiffened at the look she was giving him. For some reason, he wasn't compelled to disagree with her. After a long moment, he yanked his hand away.

"It, um…couldn't hurt," he said quietly.

Grinning gratefully, Lita turned her attention back to the Eiffel Tower. Today had been the best day of her life. And to think she had Black Hat to thank for it.

When her left hand suddenly felt cold, she glanced down to see a human hand. But it was far too icy to be a human hand. She didn't need to look at the owner's face to know his identity.

He had merely taken his glove off.

* * *

Black Hat looked up from the file he was reading after hearing Lita turn over in bed for the fiftieth time. "Aren't you asleep  _yet_?"

Lita, now in her white pajamas with her hair back up in a ponytail, rolled over to scowl at the back of Black Hat's head peering over the white couch. "Well, excuse me, but there's a little something called jet lag!"

The demon huffed as he turned a page. " _I_ never had jet lag."

"That's because you don't need sleep!"

"You've been awake for nearly twenty hours, and have been walking around Paris all day," he said, his head turning a hundred and eighty degrees. "How are you  _not_  tired?"

She cringed. "For one thing, it's a little hard to sleep with  _you_  in the room, watching me!"

He rotated his head back to hide the dark color coming to his cheeks. "P-Please, Miss Gris, you're not  _that_  interesting." He pretended to be invested in his file. "Personally, I don't care if you stay awake all night. As long as you keep quiet."

Sighing, Lita sat up in bed and took one of the champagne glasses to get herself some water from the sink. As she exited the bathroom, she noticed that Black Hat was re-reading Flug's report on their latest client.

"Do you ever stop working?" she asked.

"Do you ever stop  _talking_?" Black Hat said with a grunt.

She approached him slowly. "You've read that thing at least a dozen times on the flight! Pretty sure you have it memorized by now!"

"One must always be properly prepared for a business meeting," he said, flipping to the next page. "Are  _you_  prepared?"

"Mmm-hmm," she replied with a nod.

"Don't give me that. I only saw you read this once."

"Yeah, and that was all I needed."

"Oh, really?" He scoffed. "Then explain to me what—?"

"Gabriel Agreste, aka Hawk Moth, is after these ancient magical artifacts known as Miraculouses," Lita said, setting her empty glass down on the coffee table. "He harnesses one of these artifacts, known as the Butterfly Miraculous, which grants him the power to transmit powers to others, and he does that to create other villains to go after his main adversaries Cat Noir and Ladybug, who own the two most powerful Cat and Ladybug Miraculouses, which grant the power of Destruction and Creation, and when they are supposedly brought together—"

"Alright, I believe you!" Black Hat exclaimed, using a tentacle to cover her mouth.

His eye was still on the open file in his hands.

"So," Lita said, pushing his tentacle away, "what do  _you_  not get?"

"I  _don't_  get why this idiot uses the same plan over and over," he said, flipping through the pages more rapidly.

"That's something you can just ask him. You don't need to re-read the whole file to—"

"IT PASSES THE TIME, ALRIGHT?!" he shouted, crumpling the papers in his claws.

Lita jumped back at his sudden outburst and watched bewildered as he magically reverted the papers to normal and continued reading.

 _Oh my gosh_ , she thought.  _He's just really bored, isn't he?_

It made sense. He never had to sleep, which opened up a lot of free time for him. And he'd lived for a very long time. Lita could only imagine how mad that would drive a person, not knowing what to do with the infinite amount of time they had in the world. It explained why he'd awoken her with the organ that one night, and why he had asked her to stay at his side while he played. He'd been starving for entertainment and perhaps…company?

Was that the only reason he did anything? Was that the reason he had taken over the world? Was that the reason he had retired to run an evil enterprise? Was that why he kept her, Flug, Dementia and 5.0.5. around? Boredom?

Or…was it something else?

"Boss?" Lita said, crouching down to his eyelevel. "Did…did you ask me to come to Paris with you because…you didn't wanna be…alone?"

Black Hat slammed the file onto his lap. "For the thousandth time, Miss Gris, I am  _not lonely_! I  _like_  time to myself, and do  _not_  need anyone around to make my time on Earth less bleak! Get that absurd idea out of your head!"

He raised the file up to his face so that it was hidden from her. He sounded like he was in complete denial. Lita  _knew_  he was in complete denial.

"I get it," she said, sitting down beside him. "I'm a bit of a loner myself. Didn't really have any friends before I met you guys."

He didn't lower the folder, but he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He was honestly surprised by this, with all her talk of friendship. Not to mention she wasn't as socially awkward or insane as his other subordinates.

Then again, she'd also proven to be distrustful of strangers. And now that he thought about it, the only person she'd expressed any interest in contacting had been her father.

"There just didn't seem to be much point in getting to know other people," Lita said, leaning back against the couch. "I never stayed at one job for very long. And even when I was a kid, no one wanted to play with the daughter of an ex-con. I essentially played by myself during recess and was always the last one picked for every game."

The file lowered slightly. "Even with your athletic ability?"

She shrugged. "Not even the kids in the gymnastics club liked me very much. In fact, they once stole my clothes from my locker…while I was in the shower. One time…I got in trouble for punching another kid, even though  _he_  had pushed me down first, and  _I_  was the one suspended for a week. There…there were a lot of times at work and at school when something went missing, whether it was a pencil or a bracelet, and…I would always get blamed for it."

Her hands gripped together at the memories. "No matter how good I was, no matter how well I behaved, I was always treated like…like…"

"Trash?"

She winced. "Wouldn't put it that harshly, but…yeah. They'd always…pick on me, chanting that I was gonna end up a crook like my father. And I hadn't even done anything! Yet."

She hung her head. "Guess I proved them right in the end, huh?"

Black Hat didn't respond, only stared at her. Lita shook her head as she got up.

"Sorry. I'm probably boring you even more, rambling on like this. I'll just go back to bed."

But before she could take a step, he snatched her hand. Turning back to him, Lita saw that he'd set the file on the table, his attention entirely on her.

"Continue," he said bluntly, pulling her back down. "If you must."

"W-Well, uh," she said, twiddling her fingers, "that's…pretty much it, I guess. I'm a friendless loser with pretty much no social life. The point is…I know how you feel."

She looked down at her hands. "I…I'd come home so many nights, sometimes when Papi was already asleep, and…not be sure what to do with myself. I mean I'd work out or watch TV or check our finances, but…I could only do so much on my own." She chuckled. "One time I poured an entire bowl of oatmeal down the sink and then unclogged it, just to give me something to do."

Black Hat scoffed. "That's nothing.  _I_  once  _so_ bored that I dismantled my home brick by brick, and then rebuilt it from the ground up!"

Lita laughed. "You probably get more bored than anyone else in the world, living forever, not sleeping, having no one to talk to…"

She stopped herself, thinking he was going to yell at her again. Black Hat merely held up his hands in surrender.

"Alright," he admitted. "So  _maybe_  I brought you along in hopes that your presence would make this trip  _slightly_  less dull." He gave her a warning glare. "But don't read too much into it!"

"Fine," she said, smiling at him. "Just confirming that your reasons for bringing me  _were_  totally selfish. So," she nudged him playfully, "have I entertained you enough?"

Black Hat sighed. "Enough to make me not want to kill you…for the moment."

"From you, I'll take that as a compliment." She glanced back at the television. "Since we're both up, why don't we rent a movie or something?"

She stood up from the couch while her boss groaned.

"I doubt you'll find anything on there I  _haven't_  seen."

"That why you always skip out on Movie Night?" Lita asked, picking the remote up from the side table and sitting on the bed.

Every Friday, she, Flug, Dementia and 5.0.5. would have a Movie Night. They'd take turns each week picking a movie to watch. She'd understood Black Hat sitting out of 5.0.5.'s picks—she wasn't a big fan of  _The Care Bears Movie_  either—but had been certain he would've joined them for Dementia's horror favorites.

"I've watched every single film ever made," Black Hat said.

"Even the really bad ones?" Lita asked as she browsed through the hotel's on demand library. "Man, you really  _are_  bored. Well, we'll just pick something you like." She turned to him, finding he was still pouting on the couch. "Oh, come on. Like you have anything better to do!"

With a heavy sigh, Black Hat stood. "Just as long as it's not some mushy romantic comedy."

"Way to stereotype, boss," she said with a huff. "For your information, I'm not much into those either. I like drama and action. Basically, anything that doesn't put me to sleep."

She started scrolling faster once the Marvel titles popped up. "Guess that's a no on the superhero movies, huh?"

"Unless you wish to turn this into a demonstration on how  _not_  to handle a hero," Black Hat said, coming around to the other side of the bed with his arms crossed. "Even Thanos ultimately fails as a villain, and he'd managed to wipe out half the population in a single snap!"

"Yeah, I've listened to  _enough_ of your orientation videos. Ooh! How about  _Bonnie and Clyde_? You like crime drama, right?"

He shook his head. "Still a romance."

"Okay, uh… _Beauty and the Beast_?"

He growled dangerously.

"Kidding! Oh! Never seen this one in full.  _Silence of the Lambs_?"

"Ah!" Black Hat grinned excitedly. "Now  _there's_  a film! And a fine example of an effective fictional villain!"

"Guess we're in agreement then," Lita said, clicking the rent button.

"You can actually learn something from this one," he said, sitting down. "See where one villain succeeds and another fails."

Lita blushed as Black Hat settled himself on the bed next to her. She realized this was the only piece of furniture facing the television, but that didn't make their position any less awkward. He wasn't touching her, but she could feel the frigidness of his body from a few centimeters away. He also didn't have his trench coat on, making it colder. Reminding herself that they were simply watching a movie like two non-romantically involved adults, Lita slid her legs under the covers to avoid freezing to death and focused her attention on the screen.

* * *

So far, Lita was intrigued with the film. She already related to the protagonist, Clarice, and Hannibal Lecter was pretty creepy. Though honestly, he was a sweetheart compared to Black Hat. Still, she could see why her boss liked this movie.

"… _I ate his liver with some fava beans_ ," Dr. Lecter said onscreen, " _and a nice chianti_."

Black Hat chuckled. "I would've gone with some black beans and a Pinot Noir."

Lita glanced sideways at him. "You mean…you eat…people?"

She'd been hoping that had been a rumor. After all, he hadn't asked her to prepare any… _special_  dishes.

He shrugged. "Not as much as Dementia, but if I'm  _really_  furious at someone, or in a particularly nasty mood…"

Lita scooted to the side, putting a little more distance between herself and the demon. "Wait. Dementia?"

He smirked at her. "No doubt you've heard the early morning screams of heroes being torn to shreds."

"Ah," she said with a nod. "So  _that's_  why she sometimes misses breakfast. I thought she was just sleeping in."

Black Hat could see her shifting uncomfortably, and decided to elaborate. "I mostly save the real meat for Lil' Jack. But Dementia gets restless if she doesn't have a proper kill every now and then. What better way to dispose of intruders and failed test subjects?"

Lita glanced at him nervously. "Does it…does it taste…good?"

He leaned back against the bedframe. "Admittedly, you humans have become far too pungent and greasy over the last century, with all your gorging on junk food."

She sighed in relief. "So, not planning to eat  _me_  any time soon then, huh?"

"Tempting," he said, tapping his chin. "But I have other plans for you."

"Yeah," she said with a laugh. "Guess it'd be hard for me to steal if you ate me. I mean I don't know if ghosts are able to hold things cuz they're not really corporeal, so…"

Black Hat cocked his head. "You don't seem too…bothered by this."

"Well," Lita said with a shrug, "you already drank my blood once, so…I guess it doesn't surprise me as much as it should. And it's no secret that you're a killer. Though you don't really have a pattern like most serial killers, do you?"

"I like to experiment," he said, pressing his fingertips together.

It bewildered Lita how nonchalant this discussion was. In truth, the revelation that Black Hat was a cannibal scared her a little. Could he really be called a cannibal though if he was not human? But  _she_  was human, and he had already tasted her blood.

Strangely though, now that she had spent some time with him, she trusted him enough not to kill her, let alone eat her. Still, the fact that he expressed no remorse in his crimes against humanity was disconcerting. Lita knew her reasons for her crimes, but what justified  _his_  actions?

"Do you ever regret it?" she asked suddenly.

Psychically pausing the film, he glanced sideways at her. "Any of what?"

"The things you do," she said, bringing her knees up to her chest. "The…people you hurt. I…I know you enjoy it. It's…what you do, but…do you ever feel remorse?"

After staring at her for a while, he moved his eye forward. "I can assure you, Miss Gris, that in the thousands of years of my existence, I have no regrets." He paused. "Save one."

She leaned towards him curiously. "What's that?"

"Hiring Dementia."

She snorted. "That's just mean."

"What about you, Miss Gris?" He turned his head. "With all your mixed-up morals, any regrets?"

Lita took a moment to think about it. "I…regret I ever stopped stealing."

"Oh?" he said with a grin. "And why is that?"

"Well, if I'd continued stealing for my Papi, I'd have paid off his debts sooner and…I'd still be at home with him."

He frowned as he faced the television again. "I see."

Catching the disappointment in his tone, Lita elbowed him. "I didn't say I regretted meeting  _you_  though, boss."

He smiled in triumph. "Good to know."

* * *

" _I have no plans to call on you, Clarice_ ," Hannibal Lecter said into the phone onscreen. " _The world's more interesting with you in it_."

Black Hat snorted in annoyance. "Dr. Lecter does everything else right in this film, but the one thing I never understood is why he doesn't just eat the FBI agent who betrayed his trust and can use her knowledge of him to her advantage! How can such an intelligent, capable murderer show weakness for one insignificant…?"

He trailed off when he heard a light snore. Rolling his eye sideways, he saw that Lita had fallen asleep, likely more from exhaustion than boredom. But that was not what alarmed him.

Her head was rested on her shoulder.

He'd been so invested in the film that he hadn't even noticed. It shocked him that someone could let their guard down in his presence so much that they were able to fall asleep. At least that night in the organ chamber, she had thought he wouldn't discover her. But to fall asleep  _on_  him?! How could someone be  _that_  comfortable around him?

It then occurred to him that due to her tiredness, she probably hadn't realized what she was doing. He was about to push her off, but then paused. If she were to wake and discover their position, she'd be so delightfully embarrassed! But he couldn't wake her now, as she was finally asleep like he'd wanted. He would have to wait until morning.

 _Oh, well,_  he thought, levitating his folder over.  _It'll be worth seeing the look on her face._

Black Hat tried to re-read the file to pass the time, but he kept returning his attention to the woman slumbering on his shoulder. It didn't help that she kept snoring and moaning every few minutes. After what felt like an hour, he finally lowered the file and started watching her sleep, as he'd been doing all week.

A strand of hair fell out of her ponytail and over her face. Without even thinking, Black Hat lifted his right hand towards her face and gently brushed the stray hair away. Now that the hair was gone, he could see her face again.

Funny. He'd never paid much attention to her face before. It was what one would call heart-shaped, with a slightly pointed chin and firm jaw-line. Her skin was a fair shade of brown, and though they were closed now, he could picture how it clashed with her brilliant blue eyes. Her short black bangs framed her forehead perfectly, and with the rest of her hair pulled back, her simple, yet pleasing features were there for all to see.

Even in these plain pajamas, she really was rather lovely for a human. Not like those Hollywood actresses with their plastic surgery and over-the-top makeup. There was nothing particularly striking about her, except perhaps her eyes. But he supposed she was pretty enough for a man to desire her, as he recalled the way those strangers had looked at her today.

Then there was her scent. Not the scent of her fear, but her actual scent. She'd used green apple shampoo and citrus bodywash during her shower a few hours earlier. Her clothes smelled of lavender detergent and fabric softener. But there was another smell. Something subtle beneath those artificial scents. He'd smelled it on other humans before, but had always ignored it. The smell that emanated from particular parts of the body.

Pheromones. Hers smelled particularly…pleasant.

He shook his head. Why was he noticing all of these things just now? He'd seen her every day for the last three months! He hadn't acknowledged her looks or scent in all this time! Why was he taking an interest in them  _now_? And why  _her_? These things had never mattered to him before!

Black Hat had thought solving the puzzle that was Adelita Gris would satisfy his need. But the more he learned about her, the more compelled he was to be near her. Perhaps it was because he had yet to gain her full dependence. Much progress had been made today. She certainly trusted him more. Now all he had to do was convince her that villainy was the best path for her to take.

After all, she and him were one in the same, even if she didn't realize it.

Was that why he'd been so invested in her today? Because of the old memories she'd reawakened within him, with her enthusiasm in the city's sights and her personal confessions? Was it because of how… _normal_  he'd felt around her? They weren't even in public pretending to be a married couple, yet they'd just sat down and watched a movie together, as if it was an everyday occurrence.

Even when he was in his demon form, she still treated him like a human being. He wasn't used to that. He'd been treated like a demon, a god, a villain, a child, even…trash. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been treated like a human. His disguised moments didn't count. But Lita knew what kind of creature he was, what he had done to others, yet she acted like she was with a regular person.

She also wasn't shivering. It took a while for Black Hat to figure out why. His body temperature had increased, and was no longer freezing.

What was happening to him? Why did this woman have this effect on him? And…why did it feel so  _good_?

Black Hat couldn't let his guard down. He silently reminded himself that he had to get  _her_  attached to  _him_ , not the other way around.

Then there was the selfish part of him that told him he could do whatever he wanted, even if that want was to be close to a mortal being with no evil ambition. And perhaps Lita had been onto something. He would never admit to being lonely, but the sleepless nights were definitely less excruciating when he wasn't alone.

As Lita snuggled further into his shoulder, that strand of hair fell in front of her face again. This time, Black Hat removed his glove, so that he could feel the softness of her hair between his fingers, sending a tingling sensation through them.

He didn't understand affection, but he understood possessiveness. Yes, that's what she was to him. Another one of his trophies to admire, a triumph in his career of villainy, a shiny object to possess.

At least that's what he kept telling himself as his hand moved to stroke her skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. You all pretty much guessed the client right off the bat. Let me assure you, the streets of Paris are a LOT more crowded than they are in "Miraculous Ladybug!"
> 
> I'm moving in a couple of days, and next chapter is going to be a big one too. So, it might take a while.


	26. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lita finally learns about Black Hat's origins.

 

Lita dreamed that she was six years old again. It was more of a memory than a dream, really, as she remembered waking up in the middle of the night to shouting. Her younger self slowly crept out of her room and to the staircase as she listened to the voices of her parents.

"You  _stole_  that watch, didn't you?!" her mother shouted. "Unless you spent thousands of dollars you don't have!"

"What do you expect me to do, Lita?!" her father exclaimed. "We're behind on the rent and Lita will be starting school soon! We barely get by with  _your_  salary!"

"If you're so worried about money, then get a job!"

"You know no one will take me with my record!"

"Damn it, Rick! I thought we agreed you wouldn't do this anymore! If not for my sake, then for our daughter's!"

Lita sat on the stairwell, peering through the bars into the living room. She'd never seen her parents so furious.

"This  _is_  for our daughter!" Ricardo shouted. "I want her to have a better life than I had and get an education! How do you expect us to be able to put her through college? Do you know how frustrating it is being a man who can't provide for his family?!"

Linda grunted as she pulled on the front of his shirt. "You won't be able to do  _anything_  for your family if you end up in prison again!"

She held him there for a while, before releasing him and burying her face in her hands. Ricardo took a deep breath.

"I'm not a good man, Linda."

She sniffed. "I…I know that. I knew that the moment we met." She lifted her gaze towards him. "I know  _why_  you did it, but…you have to start thinking about the consequences of your actions. You're not just my husband anymore. You're a father. And as a father, you have to be here for your daughter."

Linda hung her head. "My father…wasn't there for me when I made my decision to marry you. I…I don't want that for Lita."

Ricardo sighed. "My father was never there for me at all."

"I know…I know you don't always make the best decisions," Linda said, laying a hand on his shoulder, "but…can you try to be the best man you can be for our daughter, at least?"

He pulled her into an embrace. "I will try,  _mi amor_."

As they hugged, Linda's eyes fell upon the eavesdropper. " _Mija,_  shouldn't you be in bed?"

Ricardo broke away to see Lita on the stairwell.

"You were yelling," Lita said. "Did…did you do something wrong, Papi?"

With a heavy sigh, Ricardo walked up to her. "Yes,  _mija_." He scooped her up into his arms. "But Papi promises that he will do better."

Sleepily, Lita snuggled into his shoulder, her face feeling pleasantly warm. But something was strange about her father's shoulder. There were creases in his clothing that felt like he was wearing a vest of some sort. Her father never wore vests.

Confused, Lita opened her eyes. She wasn't at her childhood home, but in a hotel bed. Next to her was a pair of legs in black trousers. Her eyes widened when she realized whose shoulder she was lying on.

"Good morning, Miss Gris," Black Hat said casually.

Yelping in shock, Lita sprang backward and tumbled off the bed. Black Hat was laughing hysterically and slapping his knee.

"What the  _fuck_?!" she cried, jumping to her feet. "Why…why didn't you wake me?!"

"You just looked so  _comfortable_ ," he said tauntingly.

She glanced between him and the space she'd been lying in. "Did you…were you there all night?  _Awake_?!"

"Maybe," Black Hat said innocently as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

Her hands clutched into fists as she glared at him furiously. " _Why_?!"

"Because I wanted to see the look on your face when you awoke." He stood and turned to face her. "And I can see that it was worth the seven hours."

Her cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

"You really are adorable when you're flustered like that, darling," he said as he strolled by her. "Now get dressed so we can have breakfast before meeting with Mr. Agreste."

She continued to glare at him as she went to fetch her new outfit from the closet. "If you tell  _anyone_  what just happened—"

"Tell them what?" Black Hat said as he put his jacket on. "That you used me as a pillow while you slept at my side in the honeymoon suite? Really now, Miss Gris." He grinned toothily at her. "Do you really think I'd tarnish my reputation so foolishly?"

"Right." She stomped over to the bathroom. "For the record, it wasn't on purpose! I was just tired!"

She slammed the door.

"And for the record," he shouted back playfully, "you snore like an elephant!"

* * *

"And I thought  _your_ place was big," Lita said as she looked up at the Agreste mansion.

Black Hat huffed. "Much too… _white_  for my taste."

He pressed his glove finger on the button next to the intercom. A panel opened above and a camera lens poked out into their faces. Startled, Lita gripped her disguised boss' arm. He didn't even blink.

" _Dites vos intentions_ ," a female voice spoke through the intercom.

" _Je m'appelle Monsieur Chapeau_ ," Black Hat said, tipping his fedora. " _J'ai un rendez-vous avec Gabriel Agreste_."

Lita could understand what he was saying from context. She flinched as the camera turned in her direction.

" _Et qui est elle_ _?_ " the female voice asked.

" _Mon associée_ ," Black Hat said, putting his arm around Lita to bring her closer. " _Je n'entrerai pas sans elle_ _._ "

The camera focused on them a moment, before disappearing back into the panel. There was a buzzing sound as the gates opened.

"Wow, the tabloids were right about this guy being a recluse," Lita said as they walked up to the front door. She nudged her boss playfully. "Guess you two have a lot to talk about."

Black Hat groaned inwardly. "When we get there, Miss Ladrona, I expect you to—"

"I know, I know." She rolled her eyes. "Don't speak unless spoken to."

He glanced sideways at her. "I was going to say don't hold back your opinion."

She looked at him in surprise. "Really? I thought—"

"You have a keen mind, Miss Ladrona," he said as they walked up the steps. "Make it known."

Her cheeks reddened as the front door opened up. A white woman in a dark purple blazer over a red turtle neck stood there. Her black hair was up in a bun, a streak of red highlighting her bangs. Her blue eyes studied Black Hat and Lita through her spectacles, lingering on the latter in particular.

" _Entrez, Monsieur Chapeau_ ," the woman said, opening the door further. " _Nous vous attendions_ _._ "

Lita took note of how clean the checkered lobby looked. The house certainly was massive, but much more pristine and less foreboding than Black Hat's place. One certainly wouldn't guess that a supervillain lived here.

" _Puis-je prendre votre chapeau et manteau, mademoiselle_?" the woman asked.

Lita glanced at the hand the woman held out towards her, and realized she was asking if she could take her hat and coat.

Smiling politely, Lita gave the best response she could in what little French she knew. " _Non, merci. Je suis bonne_."

The woman's eyebrows shot up, as if shocked. Black Hat facepalmed himself.

_What the hell did I say?!_

Lita decided it was best to stay in her comfort zone. "Um… _p_ _arlez-vous_ _español_ _?_ English?"

"Ah, of course," the woman said in perfect English. "I take it you don't know French very well, do you, mademoiselle?"

Lita sighed in relief. "No, sorry."

"That is quite alright." She turned to Black Hat. "Mr. Agreste was not aware that you'd be bringing…company."

"Given the…complicated matter of this meeting," Black Hat said, glancing at Lita, "I thought my assistant, Miss Ladrona, could lend a fresh perspective."

The woman looked at Lita unsurely. "Mr. Agreste made it perfectly clear that this matter was to be kept discreet and that no other outside parties should be involved. Your assistant can wait here."

Black Hat frowned. "Miss Ladrona is a valuable asset to my organization. I can assure you, mademoiselle, that she is  _quite_  discreet and is well-informed on the matter."

"I'm sure she is. However, Mr. Agreste is only prepared to meet with you  _alone,_  Monsieur Chapeau."

"Then prepare him to meet with us  _both_ ," he said, tightening his grip on Lita's shoulder. "I'm not going in without her."

His action and his words caused Lita to blush. This did not escape the woman's notice. Her expression seemed to soften.

"W-Wait one moment," she said. "I will discuss this matter with Mr. Agreste."

Turning around, she went up the grand staircase to the next floor.

"You…didn't have to do that," Lita said, still unbelieving that her boss had stood up for her.

"Of course, I did," Black Hat said. "If you weren't allowed into the meeting, I would have brought you halfway across the world for nothing." He leaned in to whisper to her. "Next time, leave the French to me."

"Why?" She frowned. "All I said was, 'No, thank you. I'm good.'"

"That is…" He cringed. "Not quite what you said.

"' _Bonne_ ' is 'good,' isn't it?"

"In some situations, yes, but…when referring to yourself, it's better to say, ' _Je suis_ bien.'"

"What's the difference?"

Black Hat appeared very uncomfortable. "Well…to say ' _Je suis bonne_ ,' it means that you are 'good' in…another sense."

She turned to him. "Meaning?"

Clearing his throat, he stretched out the collar of his shirt. "Good…in bed."

"Oh." Lita blushed. "No wonder she looked so confused."

"I think she understood your mistake once she realized you didn't know French very well."

"Still, I'm so embarrassed!"

"Oh, relax, will you?"

Though Black Hat found it difficult to hold back his laughter at how flustered she looked.

The assistant appeared at the top of the steps a few minutes later. "Mr. Agreste will see you both now. Right this way, please."

They followed her up the steps. The large portrait above them caught Lita's eye. It was of a man and woman dressed in black. The man was Gabriel Agreste, with his platinum blond hair, blue eyes, pale skin and spectacles. The woman's hair was a darker blonde. She had a dazzling smile and big green eyes. Lita recognized her from the file as Gabriel Agreste's wife, who had disappeared a few years ago. Shortly after that, Mr. Agreste went into seclusion. Wouldn't even appear at his own fashion shows.

 _I know how he feels_ , Lita thought.  _When Mom died, I didn't leave my room for a week._

The assistant opened the door to Gabriel Agreste's office. Black Hat shielded his eyes from the pastel colors accenting the checkered floor. Noting the pink, cushioned benches that surrounded a miniature runway; Lita could understand her boss' reaction. It made her chuckle a bit.

Mr. Agreste stood behind his desk, the back of his white suit to them as he faced the wall.

"Monsieur Chapeau and Mademoiselle Ladrona, sir," the assistant said.

"Thank you, Nathalie," he said, still staring at the wall. "Leave us, please."

With a bow, Nathalie exited the office and shut the door behind her. Mr. Agreste turned and his eyes widened at Black Hat.

"When you said you were coming in disguise," he said, stepping towards his guests, "I didn't expect you to look so…"

"Human?" Black Hat said with a smile. "It pays to be a shapeshifter."

"Fascinating." Mr. Agreste's blue eyes directed at Lita. "And has your assistant been briefed on our…business?"

"She is fully aware of my identity and yours."

There was a pause. Stepping out of Lita's grasp, Black Hat cleared his throat.

"Oh!" Lita held out her hand. "Lita Ladrona, sir! Pleasure to meet you!"

"Charmed," Mr. Agreste said in an uninterested tone as he shook her hand. "Nathalie told me you only speak Spanish and English. Do you have a preference?"

"Your English sounds good, so let's stick with that." She smiled widely as she retracted her hand. "Might I just say, I'm a big fan of your work! I used to work at a clothing store, you see, and I'd  _always_  recommend your designs!"

"Ah." He seemed slightly more interested now as he looked her over. "A woman of fine taste, I see."

"Before we discuss our business," Black Hat said, glancing around. "Is this room…secure?"

Mr. Agreste looked around as well. "I do have cameras that only I have access to. However, if you'd prefer somewhere more  _private_ …"

He turned back to the wall. It turned out he'd been staring at a jeweled painting of some sort, depicting a woman that resembled his wife. After he touched some spots on the painting, it moved upwards, revealing a secret elevator.

With a bow, Mr. Agreste gestured inside. "Ladies first."

* * *

The last thing Lita would've expected to see in a secret evil lair was a kaleidoscope of white butterflies fluttering around. Then again, they somehow looked eerie in a darkened room.

"This place is secure," Mr. Agreste said, "if you wish to take off your disguises. Nooroo." It was too dark to tell, but Lita could've sworn she saw a small, purplish figure floating around him. "Dark wings, rise!"

It took Black Hat half a second to shapeshift back into his demon form. It took Hawk Moth nearly half a minute for his costume to appear on his body. Lita had to shield her eyes from the bright purple light that was coming from him.

"Does this…light show happen  _every_  time you transform?" Black Hat inquired in an unimpressed tone.

"Unfortunately, yes," Hawk Moth said, bringing down the silver cane that had appeared along with the costume. "As I did not create the Miraculous, I don't make the rules." He turned to Lita. "Are you going to transform, mademoiselle?"

"Me?" Lita scoffed. "Oh, no, no, no! Just a human here! No, uh…fancy costumes or anything!"

"I see." He scrutinized her. "Mademoiselle Ladrona, exactly what is your role in the organization?"

Lita glanced sideways at her boss, who nodded for her to respond. "I'm his…errand girl."

"So you fetch groceries," Hawk Moth said bluntly.

She forced a laugh. "Yeah, sure. Really,  _really_   _expensive_  groceries…without paying for them."

"Ah. A thief then." He nodded slowly. "Well, there are certain items that need retrieving."

"You mean those Cat and Ladybug Miraculouses- _es_ - _es_ …?" She stumbled. "Those  _things_? Because I could totally pinch them for ya, if you'd like." She held up her hands to show them off. "They wouldn't even know I was there."

"I appreciate the offer," Hawk Moth said, his attention turning to Black Hat. "Unfortunately, as I do not know the identities of Ladybug and Cat Noir, I could not tell you the location of their Miraculous. The only way I can lure them out is if the city of Paris is threatened."

"Using these…akumas here," Black Hat said, gesturing to the butterflies.

"They're not akumas as of yet," Hawk Moth explained. "I raise these butterflies in a greenhouse below this room, so that when I detect potential prey experiencing negative emotions, I have an endless supply to corrupt to my will."

"Right," Lita said, glancing around. "You fight heroes using…butterflies."

Black Hat coughed to cover his laughter. Hawk Moth sent the woman an unamused look.

"Perhaps," the butterfly-themed villain said, "a demonstration is in order."

"This guy's angry all the time," Lita said, pointing her thumb at her boss. "If it's possible to make him any  _more_ OP."

Black Hat raised an eyebrow at her. "OP?"

"Overpowered." She leaned in to whisper. "Don't deny that you are."

"Hmm." Hawk Moth rubbed his chin as he looked the demon over. "I'm not sensing any negative emotions from him at the moment."

"Really?" Lita glanced between the two of them. "Sure that brooch of yours isn't broken?"

"A demonstration is not necessary," Black Hat said, holding up a hand. "I've seen enough on the news." He settled his hands on his cane. "What  _I_  would like to know, Mr. Hawk Moth, is why you insist on using the same plan time and time again, even though it has proven to be a failure!"

Hawk Moth was taken aback. "I…I do not use the same plan over and over!"

"Really?" Black Hat's hand circled the air as he spoke. "You find some poor sap who's upset about…I don't know, dropping their ice cream or something! You, as you put it, 'akumatize' them, thus taking control of their minds and granting them powers in return for the retrieval of a ring and a pair of earrings."

Hawk Moth opened his mouth to protest.

"Oh, sure!" the demon continued. "You may give different powers to different minions, but the method remains the same! A method you've applied at least twenty times already!" He sighed. "You should've called for my services  _ages_  ago! Or were you waiting in a chrysalis along with your butterflies?"

Hawk Moth was at a loss for words. Lita smiled proudly at her boss. Along with being the master of villainy, he was also the master of the burn.

"W-Well…" Hawk Moth cleared his throat. "There's not much else I can do. Granting powers to others is the function of my Miraculous."

Black Hat groaned. "That's no excuse for a lack of creativ—"

"Why not just give those powers to yourself?" Lita said without even thinking.

Hawk Moth scoffed. "I can't just…wait." Wearing a thoughtful expression, he began pacing back and forth. "I suppose if…if I used my  _own_  negative emotions…but my Miraculous…I could renounce it! Temporarily." He grinned deviously. "Even better, it would throw any suspicion off Gabriel Agreste being Hawk Moth!"

He stopped pacing and turned to Lita, a look of respect on his face. "Now I know why you were so insistent on bringing her, Lord Black Hat."

"Naturally," Black Hat said, glancing at his protégé with pride. "What she lacks in style, she makes up for in brains."

"Excuse me!" Lita darted her eyes at him. "But  _who_  helped you come up with that disguise?"

Ignoring her, Black Hat turned to their client. "I hope you realize, Mr. Hawk Moth, that our services do not come for free."

"As you can plainly see," Hawk Moth said, gesturing to their surroundings, "money is no object."

"Oh?" Black Hat chuckled. "You thought I was referring to money? Oh no, Mr. Hawk Moth. I make enough of that from weapons and slave trafficking. But you see, I simply can't invest money in a plan that isn't guarantee to work. No, I need something a little more…insuring."

As the demon put his arm around the other villain, Lita could tell where this conversation was going. She didn't think he was going to bring up the soul contract so soon. With Megamind, Black Hat had insisted on payment after the hero's destruction. She hoped Black Hat had a good reason for asking for the soul  _before_  they could conduct their services this time.

"What I really want to know, good sir," Black Hat said, spinning his cane beside him, "is how far you're willing to go with this."

"As far as I have to," Hawk Moth said with determination. "I will do anything to have those Miraculous in my grasp!" He raised his gripped hands. "And then, once Ladybug and Cat Noir are no more, nothing,  _nothing_  will stand in the way of me getting what I want!"

 _Geez, this guy can monologue_ , Lita thought.

"Well, with the help of Black Hat Organization," the demon said, "you can be easily rid of those pathetic heroes, and harness the power of the Miraculous you so greatly desire."

"Yes." Hawk Moth nodded. "I will get those confounded pieces of jewelry, and I will get my wish!"

Lita remembered from the file. Legend had it that when the Cat and Ladybug Miraculous were brought together, a person could wish for anything in the world.

"You will, monsieur," Black Hat said, a parchment materializing in his hand. "And all it will cost you is—"

"What's your wish?" Lita asked abruptly.

The demon frowned at his assistant. "What does  _that_  matter? Obviously, Hawk Moth here wishes to achieve ultimate power or rule the world or some—"

"No," Hawk Moth said quickly. "I have no desire for world domination."

Black Hat stepped away from him, the contract burning his grasp. "What?"

Lita was surprised too. World domination was the usual MO for supervillains. Or at least city domination. That was what set villains apart from common criminals. Looking at Hawk Moth, she could see a sadness in his eyes.

She'd seen it before. In her father.

"You, um…don't have to tell us," she said, hanging her head apologetically. "If you don't want to, Mr. Agreste."

"No, he doesn't," Black Hat said quickly. "Villains don't need a reason for anything. Now, about that fee—"

"It's for my wife," Hawk Moth said quietly.

"Oh." Lita looked up. "That's right. She disappeared, didn't she?"

He shook his head. "That's what I told the press. In reality, she…well…" He walked towards the platform they'd come through. "Perhaps it would be best to show you."

Lita was about to follow him, when Black Hat pulled her to the side.

"I was seconds away from gaining his soul!" he whispered harshly. "Why'd you have to open up your big fat mouth?!"

"You told me not to hold my opinion back," Lita replied. "Besides, didn't you want to find out as much about your client as possible?"

The demon growled. " _Why_  a client asks for my assistance is unimportant."

"But if he's willing to tell us why he's doing this, doesn't this mean he trusts that we'll do the job right?"

Black Hat stared at her hard. "If I lose this deal, I'll be feasting on your blood tonight."

Her hand went to her arm. "F-Fair enough."

They joined Hawk Moth on the platform. They were lowered down, much further than they'd gone up. After what felt like ten stories, the elevator came to a greenhouse. Through the glass tube of the elevator, Lita could see several butterflies fluttering around.

The elevator opened up onto a metal walkway. As Black Hat and Lita followed Hawk Moth, she noticed hundreds of cocoons dangling from metal rails on either side.  _So this is where he gets all the butterflies from._  But that wasn't nearly as impressive as what lay at the end of the walkway.

A cylindrical, glass coffin. Inside lay a blonde woman in a white pantsuit. It was the same woman that had been in the portraits.

"Your…wife?" Lita asked.

Hawk Moth nodded. "Emilie."

She immediately understood what his wish was. "What happened to her?"

"When we were in Tibet, Emilie and I discovered the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous." He hung his head. "But the Peacock Miraculous was corrupted, broken. I don't know what caused it, but the more Emilie wore it, the more she used it, the weaker she became. Until…"

He couldn't continue.

"I know how you feel," Lita said reassuringly. "I lost my mother. My papi…took it the hardest."

"Then you know why I must bring her back," Hawk Moth said. "I miss her so much, and I know my son misses her too."

"Unless you mean to summon a zombie army," Black Hat said, his voice startling Lita after being quiet for a long while, "I do not recommend raising the dead."

"He…has a point," Lita said. "Exactly…how long has she been…like this?"

Hawk Moth gestured to the coffin. "I've ensured the preservation of her body, so there will be no damage to her internal organs once she has awoken."

Black Hat's hands tightened on the hilt of his cane. "The dead do not always return the same."

His cold tone confused Lita. She did not understand how her boss could warn others about raising the dead, when he provided many services for such a thing. She was about to question this, when she saw his face. It held a look she had never seen in him before.

He appeared…upset. Not angry upset, but…troubled. He was trying hard to keep his emotions under wraps, yet his cane was splintering in his grasp.

"Boss?" Lita said cautiously. "What's…?"

A purple glimmer out of the corner of her eye caused her to trail off. She turned just in time to see a butterfly fluttering towards Black Hat. But it wasn't white like the others. It was a dark shade of purple. An akuma.

Sure enough, as Lita turned to Hawk Moth, there was a malicious grin on his face. His intentions were clear.

Without hesitating, Lita sprang at Hawk Moth, tackling him to the ground. Before he could defend himself, she whipped the blade out of her right boot and held it to his throat.

"What are you trying to pull here, you  _hijo de perra_?!" she growled between her teeth. "Was this your plan all along? Did you call my boss here just so you could brainwash him?!"

"It was an opportunity I couldn't resist," Hawk Moth said with a smirk. "To have the most powerful being in the world under my control would ensure that I get the other Miraculous!"

And to think she'd been beginning to sympathize with this guy. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't slit your throat right here, right now!"

"What about your freedom?"

Lita blinked. "What?"

"Black Hat has some hold over you, doesn't he?" He grinned further when the pressure on his throat lessened. "That's right. I heard of his reputation of swindling people into selling their souls, abusing everyone under his rule. But if  _I'm_  the one controlling  _him_ , you won't have to listen to him anymore."

Lita didn't back off, but she didn't follow through on her threat either.

"Let me akumatize him," he whispered. "In return, I'll give you the Cat and Ladybug Miraculous once I'm done with them, and you can wish for your mother."

This caused her to stiffen. Could the Miraculous really bring her mother back? It had been fifteen years since she had lost her, and honestly, she was way past the point of hopelessly wishing her back. But the idea of being free from Black Hat, free to do whatever she wanted, free to…to…

What?

Before Lita could decide what to do, Black Hat's dark chuckle came from behind her. Hawk Moth's smug expression turned to one of terror. Lita turned her head to see her boss standing there, the akuma fluttering helplessly in his hand.

"Did you really think that would work on me?" he said, effortlessly crushing the akuma into purple dust. "You're an even bigger fool than I'd thought."

Picking up Lita by the collar, he tossed her aside. Not very harshly, but far enough so that she was out of his way.

"You dare to try," Black Hat said, his voice becoming more growly by the second, his stature increasing, "and gain control over me?  _Me_?!" The room took on a red hue as his claws sprouted from his fingers. " _I_  AM THE PUPPET MASTER HERE!"

Hawk Moth wasn't allowed any room to escape as Black Hat swept him up into his claws. The smaller villain was too stunned to struggle. Not that he could with the suffocating grip on him. Lita stayed quiet, leaning on the rail for support as she gazed up at the monster.

She'd grown accustomed to his tantrums. When he was like this, there was no stopping him. But Lita wasn't afraid, especially since this time, his anger wasn't directed at her. And she didn't plan on interfering. Not only would it be pointless, but she wasn't happy with what Hawk Moth had attempted either.

"I SHOULD DO TO YOU," Black Hat bellowed, bringing Hawk Moth close to his now enormous set of fangs, "WHAT I DID TO YOUR PRECIOUS BUTTERFLY!"

Lita cried out as her hand slipped on the rail. Black Hat's one eye snapped over to her. She accepted his gaze, not taking her own eyes off him.

Something in his monstrous expression changed. She couldn't pinpoint what it was, but he seemed…calmer, for some reason.

"But," Black Hat said, his voice quieter, but still demonic, as he turned his attention back to his victim, "the bed you've made for  _yourself_  is  _far_  more torturous than anything  _I_  could ever do." He scoffed, sounding like a disgruntled dragon. "Go ahead! Continue your futile quest to revive your wife! I'll enjoy watching you fail!

"And, on the off-chance you  _do_  succeed," he said, glancing at the coffin, "be prepared for the inevitable disappointment that will follow."

Hawk Moth cried out as he was dropped to the ground.

"But if you  _ever_ ," Black Hat bellowed as he loomed over him, "contact Black Hat Organization again, the only service we'll be providing is YOUR HEAD ON A SILVER PLATTER!"

Covering his face with his arms, Hawk Moth cowered beneath the demon, his confident demeanor shattered. Black Hat looked unamused as he shrank back to his original form.

"Pathetic," he murmured as his cane flew back into his hand. "Come, Lita. We're finished here."

Instead of stepping around the cowering villain, Black Hat stepped right on top of him, not even batting an eye as Hawk Moth screamed in pain. Keeping her gaze on Hawk Moth, Lita rushed up to her boss and took his arm. While Black Hat had gotten used to her touch by now, he was surprised she was still so willing to do so after that display.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

This, too, surprised him, though he didn't show it. "Peachy."

Lita turned to him and whispered, "What you said about…what did you mean—?"

"We'll discuss this matter," he said gruffly as he shifted into his human disguise, "once we're on the plane home."

* * *

Black Hat kept true to his word. He didn't say anything as he and Lita walked out of the mansion. Not even when a teenage girl with black ponytails bumped into them as she rushed past. Not on the walk back to the hotel, not on the cab ride to the airport.

By this time, Lita had removed her new hat and coat, finding them hot to wear inside the plane.

She glanced between the disappearing view of Paris and her boss, waiting for him to say something. Anything. Even a lecture on learning when to keep her mouth shut. She would've even settled on that promise to feast on her blood. But Black Hat sat in silence, staring vacantly out the window with that unreadable frown on his face.

They'd been in the air for half an hour, when Lita decided she'd waited long enough.

"So…" She bit her lip awkwardly. "I suppose we're not doing any more business with Hawk Moth, huh?"

"No," Black Hat said bluntly, still not looking at her.

She expected him to say something further. When he didn't, Lita shifted uncomfortably.

"You think you could…do me a favor, and," she said, touching her right arm, "not take  _too_  much?"

His eye rolled towards her. "What are you talking about?"

"W-Well…" She looked down at her feet to avoid his gaze. "Y-You said if…you didn't get this deal, you'd…"

Glancing at the arm she was clutching, Black Hat sighed. "Fortunately for you, I'm no longer in the mood for blood. Besides," he said, crossing his legs, "in this case, I don't consider this little incident a loss."

"Really?" she said, lifting her gaze. "But…you were so insistent on keeping a low profile and…digging up all that dirt on him and…you're really okay with this?"

He snorted. "I didn't have much faith in Hawk Moth from the beginning. Villains who possess the ability of mind control are difficult to trust. I'd…underestimated his ambition, I'll give him that." His tone dropped an octave. "But  _anyone_  with the gall to attempt to overthrow and or mind control  _me_  is  _not_  someone I'd trust in my organization! I will not make the mistake Caesar did in trusting a Brutus!"

"So…you're not mad at me?"

He shook his head, causing her to sigh in relief and let go of her arm.

"Despite the…outcome of today's meeting," Black Hat said, touching his fingertips together, "you were…useful." His fingers twiddled, as if he were uncomfortable admitting this. "That idea of Hawk Moth…using the Miraculous to give himself powers was…imaginative."

Lita's cheeks flushed at the compliment. "How much you wanna bet he's gonna use that idea without giving me a lick of credit?"

That got a chuckle out of the demon. "I already have your soul. I don't think you're in a position to be making bets." His face then became serious. "You…were able to detect Hawk Moth's attack before I did. Thus, you alerted me before the akuma could…do its work."

Her eyebrows shot up. "So…he really could've akumatized you?"

"As you've so blatantly pointed out, Miss Ladrona," Black Hat said, gesturing to his face, "no one experiences negative emotions more than  _I_." He paused. "You'd…probably supposed that, didn't you? That…it would take effect on me." He looked away, as if embarrassed. "And yet…instead of…allowing me to be akumatized, you intercepted Hawk Moth."

"Why would I have let you be brainwashed?" Lita said, appalled that he would think that of her.

"I wasn't certain of your loyalty to me." Black Hat met her eyes again. "Now I am."

He was right. Lita was surprised to realize it, but she'd come to care for her boss. Come to care for  _Black Hat_! Enough so that she had nearly killed a man for him! The moment she'd seen the akuma, her first thought had been to protect her boss. Before Hawk Moth had brought it up, the possibility of being free hadn't even crossed her mind! And when it did, she had hesitated!

Why? Why would she protect the creature who'd kidnapped her father and kept her on a tight leash? That leash would've been broken, if she'd let Hawk Moth take control of Black Hat.

But then her boss had also brought her to Paris, showed her all its wondrous sights even though he didn't have to, listened to all she'd had to say. Even before they'd come to Paris, she'd unexpectedly enjoyed all their time together. He'd become less of a villain, and more of an employer she respected and valued.

That's why she'd been concerned. Not just about the akuma, but why it had targeted him.

"So…" Lita said after another long period of silence. "What was it that made you upset?"

"Excuse me?" Black Hat said.

"Earlier," she said, leaning forward, "Hawk Moth said you weren't experiencing any negative emotions, but when he showed us his dead wife, you…looked like you had something on your mind. And then the akuma showed up."

He gripped his hands together. "I was simply…annoyed at Hawk Moth's motives." His attention returned to the window. "He's too…attached to his family, which is a dangerous Achilles heel for a villain to have."

"So, he wants his wife back. What's wrong with that?"

"What's  _wrong_ ," he said with a growl, "is that this obsession of his will lead to his downfall if he doesn't let it go. Not to mention there's that son of his still living. One threat to his son, and he'll do anything to protect him. Ergo, he won't think clearly and be finished."

Lita didn't like his tone. "You don't know that'll happen. His love is what made him turn to villainy, after all."

The demon snorted in disgust. "Then he's in this business for all the wrong reasons."

She'd put up with his anti-love nonsense for months, but it was getting on her last nerve. After all,  _she_  was in this business to protect someone she loved. If anything, this trip had affirmed her belief that people could do terrible things for the right reasons, that even villains had loved ones. Why couldn't Black Hat see that? Why did he have to be such a prick?

"Well," she said firmly, crossing her arms, "just because  _you've_  never cared about anyone in your life, doesn't mean you have to go and spoil it for the rest of us!"

Turning away from him, she pretended to be focused on the clouds outside. Black Hat studied her frustrated pout, a stabbing pain in his chest from her words.

There were so few people he could trust in this world. That was why he put all his subordinates and clients under soul contracts, some of them before he could provide a single service. If anyone turned on him, he could get them back in line with a snap of his fingers. Not to mention there was a special clause of the soul contract that eradicated any inclination the person might have to betray him, but some souls were more resilient.

She could've freed herself today. She could've ignored the akuma, let Hawk Moth do what he liked with Black Hat. But she hadn't. For this, she had his complete trust.

For this, he had the inclination to tell her something he'd never told anyone.

Glancing downward, he spoke softly. "I…cared about my mother."

Lita turned to him with wide eyes. "You have a mother?"

"Of  _course_ , I have a mother!" he said with a growl. "What, you think I just came into existence from nothing?!"

"Well…to be fair," she said, blushing, "I don't know much about…demon creation." She paused. "Was your…mother a demon too?"

"No." He shook his head. "She was human." He rested his hands on his lap. "As…was I."

She knew it. "What…what was she like?"

"She was…troubled." His voice became quieter. "Given that she belonged to the world's oldest profession, it was a given."

"World's oldest profession?" She caught his look, and slowly came to an alarming realization. "Oh. She was a—"

"Prostitute," he said bluntly. "Naturally, my father's identity was unknown, even to her. But her fate wasn't of her own making. She was poor, she was unmarried, she had no other way to provide for herself…and for me."

His eye took on a heavy look. "She never complained to me about her work, but…I could tell she hated it. The men of Pompeii would ogle at her on the streets, and she'd smile at them," he said as his fists tightened, "but in her eyes was pure hatred."

"Pompeii? Wait." Lita stiffened as she remembered something from History class. "Wasn't that where—?"

"Would  _you_  like to tell the story?" Black Hat asked gruffly.

"Sorry." She lifted her feet onto her seat in a cross-legged position. "Continue."

"Anyway, I didn't want my mother to have to continue in a profession she despised, so I tried to bring in money from elsewhere. Of course, being a young boy of low birth, the best way to get money…was to take it from others."

 _He was once a common thief like me?_  Lita thought, leaning forward in interest.

"But in the end, it wasn't enough to save my mother from ruin." He looked away from her. "She…she became ill. At that time, a proper diagnosis couldn't have been made, but I imagine it was a result of her many sexual partners. I…I ran to fetch a doctor, but…they wouldn't help. Doctors were meant to heal the sick, and…they wouldn't help a common whore. Unless they were paid."

He gritted his teeth together. "I demanded that pimp my mother worked for that he do something. Pay for her treatment, give her a proper meal, anything! But all he said was that if she didn't bring in any more money, he'd throw her back out onto the streets!"

As Black Hat took a moment to compose himself, Lita could tell he was doing his best to hold back his emotions. The lid over his eye tightened, as if he were preventing a tear from escaping. He didn't need to continue for Lita to know the fate of his mother.

"How old were you?" she asked quietly.

"I was eleven years old," he said under his breath.

Not much older than she'd been when she'd lost her mother. "And you were…all by yourself?"

He nodded. "My mother's pimp took me under his wing for a while. Thought I could help bring customers in. Taught me all there was to know about running a business."

"Explains your authoritarian attitude," Lita said before she could help herself.

"He also taught me that no matter what I did in life, I would always be regarded as…trash. But if I made a fortune, I could at least be  _wealthy_  trash. So long as I didn't let anyone stand in the way of my ambitions." He smirked mischievously. "He was my first kill."

Lita didn't blame him for this crime. "What did you do then?"

Black Hat knew he was revealing too much. And yet, it felt good to let all this out after keeping it inside for two thousand years. After all, Lita had already confided in him about herself. Now, he found he couldn't hold back about himself to her. Besides, he could tell in her big blue eyes that she was the most likely person to understand.

So, he continued. "By that time, I was seventeen. I looted that pimp's corpse and hopped on the next barge out of Pompeii."

"You wanted to get as far away as possible," she said, remembering a conversation from before.

He nodded. "And not end up like my mother. Penniless, helpless," he said with a snort, "dead."

She could see where this story was going. "Is that why you became immortal?"

He gave no answer, but it wasn't necessary.

"How?"

Black Hat stared at her a moment before continuing. "I didn't want to die like my mother, so I traveled the known world, studying other cultures in hopes of finding some cure for death. The Egyptians weren't of much help, as I had no interest in mummifying my body for the afterlife. The Christians, who were just coming about, talked of a man who had risen from the dead, and in turn had made everlasting life possible for all. Of course, I soon realized they were speaking in the metaphorical sense. The Hindus had the idea of reincarnation, but being born again also meant dying again. The Buddhists had  _some_  idea of never having to die again, but that still involved  _dying,_ and they couldn't seem to agree on where their souls would end up after the fact!

"But with every culture I came across, there was some idea of an afterlife, one that could last from a few centuries to an eternity. Call it what you will. An Underworld, a Heaven, a Hell. And that in that afterlife, you became some sort of new being. And being dead already, you wouldn't have to die at all. I wondered…what if I could be that sort of being, but in this realm, and never have to die in the first place?"

He saw her bewildered expression. "Is this too complicated for you to follow?"

"Kind of," Lita said with a shrug.

"Well, to sum it up, I came across these ruins in the middle of…you know? I'm not quite sure, but it was somewhere in what is now the Middle East. On the wall was an incantation in some language I didn't recognize. And yet…I could read it. It was…as if the words were calling out to me. I read them aloud, and next thing I knew, I was in some other realm. There was a demon there, but it had no definitive shape.

"It wanted to make a deal with me. It wanted to take a physical form in the mortal world. To do that, it would take possession of my body. In return, I would attain its powers and immortality."

"So, you took it," Lita said, even though it was obvious.

Black Hat shrugged. "It seemed like a fair trade."

"So…you're actually… _two_  people? Like…Jekyll and Hyde?"

"I have no split personality, if that's what you mean. Let us simply say that once the deal was made, two beings ceased to exist that day and a new being was born, but I possess the memories of both."

Lita was at a loss for words for a long while. "How…how do I know you're not making all this up?"

Black Hat frowned. "Now why would I make something like this up?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "To…gain my sympathy or something?"

"Come now," he said bluntly. "Don't you think I'd come up with a backstory that's a bit more glamorous? Besides, your sympathy is the  _last_  thing I need."

"Then…why tell me all this?"

"Because I, too, Miss Gris," the demon said, leaning forward, "came from humble beginnings." He locked gaze with her. "And I see myself in you."

The information was a lot to take in. Lita had heard all the theories and speculations: that Black Hat was a demon that had escaped from Hell, that he was Satan from the Bible, that he was the Anti-Christ, that he was an amalgamation of other people's vices and sins. The idea that he had once been human was unpopular, as most people refused to believe there was any humanity in that dark soul of his.

But Lita had suspected it for a while. As much as he tried to hide it, there was a part of him that was still human, a part she could identify with. But never had she imagined that Black Hat, the greatest villain alive, had started out as the bastard son of a prostitute. No wonder his backstory wasn't public. It would certainly make it hard for other villains to take him seriously.

And yet, it explained so much. He'd started out at the bottom of the heap, and once he'd obtained power, he had worked his way to the top. That was why he treated everyone else so poorly, so that  _he_ would never be treated that way again. It didn't excuse his behavior, but it at least explained it.

The abused had become the abuser.

But that wasn't the part of the story Lita focused on. At a young age, he'd lost an important person in his life, and had been forced to make adult decisions before he'd even hit puberty. Didn't help that everyone had probably treated him like dirt, for nothing he'd done, but because of who his parents were.

He was right. They  _were_  the same. That was why she felt so comfortable around him.

In fact, she hadn't felt the need to copy his moves all throughout this trip.

"So…" Lita leaned back in her seat. "You really were human once? Did you…have a name?"

He glanced to the side. "Cyrus."

She regretted making fun of him earlier. "It's a nice name."

He sent her a warning glare. "Don't make a habit of calling me that! And don't go spreading this around! If my clients or enemies hear about this—"

"My lips are sealed," Lita said, making a zipping motion across her mouth. "If you'll just answer one more question."

The demon sighed. "What?"

"Pompeii was that Roman town that was destroyed by Mount Vesuvius, right?" She crossed her arms. "You wouldn't happen to have something to do with that, would you?"

Black Hat's usual evil grin returned. "What do  _you_  think?"

Lita shook her head, unable to hold back the smile. "Gotta say, boss, you've really got vengeance down to an art."

"And someday  _you_  could do the same to all those who treated  _you_  like trash," he said with a gleeful growl.

Her smile dropped. "What…exactly do you mean by that?"

"Come now, Lita," Black Hat said with a knowing smirk. "Don't deny you've thought of taking revenge on those who bullied you at school, or those employers who fired you for your background. Don't you want to make them suffer as they made you suffer?"

Lita bit her lip unsurely. "Um…maybe a little?"

"I thought so," he said with a chuckle. "I thought so. Well, once you've made a name for yourself, you can fulfill those sadistic fantasies." He leaned towards her. "And there will be no one to stop you."

She didn't know how to respond.

"You're already working with villains, Lita. Why not take advantage of your situation?"

She blinked up at him. "You…called me Lita."

His grin vanished. "Yes? What of it?"

"It's just that…" She cleared her throat. "You've only ever called me Miss Gris or Miss Ladrona, or used my full name or something formal like that."

"Ah, yes," he said, equally surprised with himself. "Well…that was before."

"Before what?"

He straightened back into his seat. "You earned my respect."

 _Am I dreaming, or is he actually serious?_  She'd never heard of Black Hat respecting anyone, let alone  _admitting_  it! But to hear it from his lips caused Lita's heart skipped a beat, which alarmed her.

"Don't tell anyone I said that either!" Black Hat said rapidly.

There was the boss she knew.

"No problem," she said with a mischievous smile. "So long as  _you_  don't tell anyone we shared a bed for the night."

His cheeks took on a darker color, which made her laugh.

"W-Why don't we play a round of chess?" Black Hat said, unable to take any more embarrassment today.

"Okay," Lita said, unbuckling her seatbelt. "If I win, you get to tell me something else about yourself."

"Oh, feeling cheeky today, are we?" the demon said, grinning in spite of his annoyed tone. "Well then, the same goes for  _you_  if  _I_ win!"

"Deal." Lita stood up. "Don't come crying to me when you lose."

Black Hat chuckled as she followed her to the chess set.  _On the contrary, my dear, I feel like I've already won._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this month has been crazy. Moving to a new house, settling into TWO new jobs! I'm also trying to fulfill my New Year's resolution and finish the original novel I've been working on. First draft almost finished!
> 
> But, back to this. This chapter was so complicated to write, writing characters from another fandom I've yet to write for! And then there was Black Hat's backstory.
> 
> Of all the Black Hat origin theories, I liked the one about him being human once the most, and it seemed like the best way he could relate to Lita. Seeing that brief image of Black Hat destroying Pompeii in the orientation videos gave me the idea that he could be Roman, maybe even Anglo-Saxan to explain his obsession with Britain. I'm sure Alan Ituriel came up with something different, but hey, this is a fanfic. Hope I didn't rush the details though, but he had been bottling all this in for a while.
> 
> Anyone see the theme I'm going with here on these villain cameos?


	27. Companionship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Black Hat gets a booty call from his cult.
> 
> WARNING: Slight references to sexual assault. Nothing explicit.

The moment Lita stepped out of the garage and into Black Hat Manor, she was attacked with the divine fluffiness that was 5.0.5. The bear made joyful noises as he squeezed the girl affectionately.

"Aw, did you miss me,  _Pachoncito_?" Lita said, rubbing his belly as he continued to hold her. "Did you not like being in this big, dark, scary mansion all by your lonesome?"

5.0.5. nodded with a whimper.

"Well, don't worry! Auntie Lita will keep you company until Daddy gets back from camp!"

"Are you quite finished?" Black Hat said with a displeased growl.

Dropping Lita, 5.0.5. backed away and saluted for the demon.

"Stop being a sniveling mess and get me my dinner!" Black Hat hollered.

The bear squeaked as he raced down the hall. Black Hat turned to Lita.

"And you!" he barked. "Go unpack! And be prepared to work in the morning!"

Lita said nothing as he stomped off to who knows where. It was clear their time as a pretend married couple was over, and that Black Hat had returned to his usual grumpy self.

At least now she knew  _why_  he was so grumpy.

* * *

It was quiet. That was to be expected when it was nearly midnight. 5.0.5. and Lita had gone to bed hours ago, the latter collapsing almost immediately after dinner. And so, Black Hat returned to his nightly quest of finding ways to passing the time.

But for some reason, tonight felt quieter than usual. Black Hat glanced up from the newspaper he was reading and glanced around, reaffirming that the den was empty. Not even the crackling in the fireplace seemed to be making much of a sound. The fire didn't seem to be generating much heat, either, as it was freezing. Well, for him, it was  _always_  freezing, but more so than usual.

Putting down his paper, he tightened his coat around his body. "The air conditioning's not broken, is it?"

He waited for a response. Then he remembered that he was alone.

Not being able to withstand the cold, Black Hat stood and began pacing. He rubbed his hands viciously together, creating enough friction to spark a fire. Even then, he  _still_  felt cold!

"What the hell is WRONG WITH ME?!" he hollered.

The only answer was the echo of his question.

"And why is it so bloody QUIET?!" he shouted, covering his nonexistent ears with his still flaming hands.

The flames caught onto his hat, but it didn't seem to make him feel any better. Heaving a heavy sigh, he pulled his hands away from his head and psychically doused the fire.

"Might as well play the organ," he said, shoving his hands into his coat pockets as he walked towards the door. "It'll make noise  _and_  keep my hands warm." He smirked. "And if Lita comes down to silence me again, we can just—"

Before he could finish his thought, a wall of red light obscured his vision, ghostly faces appearing before him. Black Hat grinned toothily, knowing what this meant.

He was being summoned. Probably by one of his cult members, or some desperate soul looking to make a deal. Either way, this was sure to be entertaining.

When the ghostly wall fell away and he found himself surrounded by people in red hooded cloaks, Black Hat had his answer. The cult members all bowed their heads, holding their candles out to him.

"Ah, evening, gentlemen," the demon said with a tip of his hat. "To what do I owe the…?"

He trailed off at the sound of a whimper. He turned around to see two cloaked figures holding a struggling blonde woman. He couldn't make out much of her features, as she was blindfolded and gagged, but he could tell she was very young, probably not even eighteen. The white dress she wore was long, and would've looked elegant on her had she not been in this situation. Her hands were tied, yet she was kicking her legs hopelessly in an attempt to escape.

"Oh, how lovely!" Black Hat said, clasping his hands together. "You've brought me a snack!"

The girl's scream was muffled through her gag.

"Actually, my gracious lord," said the tallest hooded figure—the cult leader whose name he had never bothered to remember—as he stepped forth. "We've prepared something a little more…special for you."

"Oh?" The demon cocked his eyebrow in interest. "Are you going to brand her first? Perhaps cut out her heart while it's still beating?"

The girl's squealing became much more frantic, but was silenced when one of her captors smacked her hard across the face. The two men threw her down as the cult leader approached her. Once her blindfold was removed, Black Hat could see her blue eyes that widened in horror upon seeing him.

Her gag was removed next, and despite her fear, she didn't hesitate to start begging. "Please, Lord Black Hat! I've done nothing wrong, I won't tell anyone what happened, just let me go! Please!"

The leader grabbed her face, pinching her cheeks together to prevent her from saying anything further.

"Does her beauty appease you, master?" the leader said, moving her face to show all its angles. "And she's a  _virgin_ , at that!"

At this, all the bloodlust inside Black Hat instantly melted away.

"Wait a moment," he said, glancing between his cult and the girl. With an exasperated groan, he smacked his forehead. "Are you…are you  _serious_?! How many times do I have to tell you idiots that I'm not  _interested_  in a sacrificial bride!"

"Oh, thank God," the girl whispered in relief.

"Blasphemer!" the leader cried as he raised his hand to strike her.

"Not important now!" He rotated his head around, so he could glare at the entire circle. "I never  _asked_  for a bride, so  _stop_  trying to set me up with one!"

"Would you prefer a groom then, my lord?" the leader asked, seemingly oblivious to the demon's anger.

Black Hat gritted his teeth together. "I have  _no_ need for a bride, groom, or…whatever you imbeciles keep digging up!" He glanced down at the girl, who was still cowering in fear. "And why in the world would you think I would find  _this_  appealing?! Honestly, how old is she, sixteen?! I'm a demon, not a pedophile! And what's with your obsession with virgins? Who  _cares_ if she's a virgin or not?! I know  _I_  don't!"

The girl yelped as he grabbed her bound wrists and forced her to her feet. These morons had pulled this stunt before, despite Black Hat's countless protests. He had disposed of all the other girls they'd brought forth. He prepared to do the same with this one, his claw closing around the blonde's neck. She whimpered in fear, her blue eyes filling with tears.

 _Blue eyes._  He hesitated.  _They're just like…Lita's._

For a brief moment, it was as if he were holding Lita in his grasp. Her blue eyes were locked with his, pleading that he spare her.

He could hear Lita's voice, as if she were whispering into his ear.  _Let her go. She didn't ask to be here, after all._

Black Hat stared at the frightened blonde for a long while. He knew she wasn't Lita. But if Lita were here, she would definitely say something like that.

And she would be right.

Snorting harshly through his nostrils, Black Hat released the girl's neck, raising his claw. She winced as he brought it down on her.

But instead of slashing her throat, he slashed through her bounds. The girl's eyes opened in surprise as the rope fell from her wrists in pieces.

"Get out," Black Hat said, gruffly throwing her to the floor.

The blonde wasn't a fool. Though still confused, she sprang up and rushed to the nearest exit.

"W-We understand, my lord," the cult leader said, clasping his hands together. "That pitiful wench was unworthy of you. But if you would just tell us what you want, we'll be much more selective next—"

He screamed as fire suddenly surrounded their circle. The hooded figures fell to their knees, holding up their hands pleadingly towards the fuming demon in the center.

"What I  _want_ ," Black Hat said with a dangerous growl, "is for you to STOP WASTING MY TIME WITH THIS MARRIAGE NONSENSE!" His eye turned red as his voice became more demonic. "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DESIRE A BRIDE TO BEGIN WITH?!"

"W-W-We just want you to be happy, my lord!" the cult leader said, bowing desperately. "W-We thought w-w-with you being as old as time itself, y-you might be…l-lonely f-f-for companionship!"

Black Hat jerked forward, his face in the leader's. "I'M. NOT.  _LONELY_! AND IF YOU  _EVER_  PULL SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN, I WILL DISBAND THIS CULT! BY TEARING YOU ALL APART WITH MY BARE HANDS!"

The cloaked cultists brought their hands and faces to the floor, murmuring their pleas for forgiveness. In a gush of flames, Black Hat teleported out of the cult's headquarters and back to his den. He snarled in frustration as he stomped out into the hall. Since he hadn't eaten his "bride," he had to get his midnight snack from elsewhere.

"I tell them I don't care for love," he mumbled through his gritted teeth. "I tell them I do not indulge in sexual pleasures! But do they listen to me?  _Of course_  they don't! Why does everyone assume that just because I'm alone that I'm  _lonely_?!"

And to think they'd thought some random high-school virgin would please him! His pace slowed at the thought of her, and why he had let her go.

It wasn't just because she'd reminded him of Lita. Being raised in a brothel, he had seen women experience plenty of…unpleasantness. While Black Hat had no problem with human trafficking, sex trafficking had never held any appeal for him. Why would someone take pleasure in having sex with someone who didn't even want them? Why would someone even pay for that sort of thing in the first place? Couldn't one just satisfy those urges by themselves? Why waste the money?

Even if he  _had_  any urges, he wouldn't have taken that blonde girl. Not like that. Torture was one thing, but rape…

He flinched at the memory of Lita pushing him away, accusing him of wanting to rape her. No. There were some lines not even  _he_  would cross.

Once he found something to eat, he was most definitely going back to his wine cabinet.

When he reached the kitchen, he found the light was already on. Sitting at the table was— _speak of the little vixen—_ Lita, munching on a bowl of that sugared rainbow cereal Flug and 5.0.5. liked so much. He couldn't remember the name. Her hair was back up in its usual ponytail, hanging down the back of her white t-shirt, which she wore with plaid pajama bottoms.

"What are you doing up?" Black Hat asked.

Lita looked up, smiling tiredly at him. "Jet lag."

She took a big spoonful of cereal, crunching on it noisily. Upon approaching the table, Black Hat realized her bowl was lacking something.

"You eat your cereal without milk?"

She swallowed before answering. "I like it crunchy." She caught his stare. "If it bothers you, I can take this somewhere else."

"Stay if you must," he grumbled as he went over to the fridge. "I'm also here for a midnight snack."

"Well," Lita said with a shrug, "my liver's off the table. Not using my pancreas, if you want that."

Black Hat chuckled at her sarcasm. "Tempting offer. But I'll decline."

Opening the fridge, he took out a rare steak and sat himself across from Lita. Not caring that she was watching, he bit into the steak and ripped off a piece. His chewing was loud and snarly, spit dripping from his mouth and burning holes into the kitchen table. Lita stopped her spoon midway to her mouth as she watched her boss tear apart the steak like a rabid dog.

Now she understood why he didn't normally eat in front of others.

As he bit off a new piece, Black Hat caught Lita's wide-eyed stare. "Yes, I'm disgusting! Got a problem with that?!"

Lita plunged the spoonful of cereal into her mouth. "I didn't say anything."

"You were  _thinking_  it," he said, narrowing his eye as he chomped voraciously.

Swallowing, she said, "What's gotten  _you_  in such a mood?"

"I AM  _NOT_  IN A MOOD!"

Lita had to duck under the table to avoid the acid spit and half-disintegrated bits of meat flying from his mouth. Cautiously, she peered over the table's edge. Once he'd processed what had just happened, Black Hat sighed and relaxed back into his seat.

"I'm fine!" he grumbled, gnawing on the rest of his steak. "I just got…unexpectedly summoned by my cult in the middle of the night."

"Oh, right," Lita said, rising back into her chair. She'd nearly forgotten about his ritualistic groupies. "What's the deal with those guys? Do they worship you like Satan or something?"

"One, don't compare me to that inferior entity. Two, my cultists see me as their dark savior, thinking their blind devotion to me will spare them from the armageddon I will eventually bring about."

The pride in his tone caused Lita to roll her eyes. "Is any of that true?"

"Eh." His hand made a so-so sign. "But their ritual sacrifices are very entertaining. Most of the time."

He popped the last piece of steak into his jaws while Lita returned to her cereal.

"Then why so sour?" she asked. "They didn't feed your ego enough? Or did their chanting get on your nerves?"

Black Hat swallowed before answering. "They surprised me with a sacrificial bride."

Lita nearly choked on her cereal. "W-What's that now?"

"A sacrificial bride," he said bluntly.

She blinked at him in disbelief. It was difficult to imagine Black Hat getting married, especially with all his anti-love talk. Which would actually explain his mood.

 _And did he say_ sacrificial _bride?!_

"So, um…" She put down her spoon, trying to mask her uneasiness. "H-How'd  _that_  go?"

"Oh, terrific! I'm on my honeymoon right now!" He looked at her incredulously. "How do you  _think_  it went?!"

The demon slammed his fists so hard on the table, Lita's bowl shot into the air.

"This is the fifth time this year they've done this to me, it's not even amusing!" he shouted. "And the girl they brought this time, I don't think she was even eighteen!"

Lita fumbled as she caught her bowl, a few pieces of cereal spilling out. It would be a lie to say this piece of information didn't disgust her. She'd seen enough demonic ritual bride ceremonies in horror movies to know it was never fun for the "bride" in question.

"S-So, um," she said, setting her bowl down to prevent further spilling, "w-what'd you do?"

Grunting, Black Hat crossed his arms. "Let the girl go, gave my followers a stern talking to and set fire to their hideout."

"You let her go?" Lita asked in surprise.

"Well, I wasn't going to marry some skinny little high school student! I have  _some_  dignity!"

This eased her discomfort, knowing that Black Hat had spared the girl. Even if he hadn't wanted to marry her, he still could've eaten her or something.

"Sheesh," Lita said, continuing to eat her cereal. "And I thought  _my_ blind dates were bad."

"Well," Black Hat said with a shrug, "she  _was_  blindfolded."

She giggled. "I thought you were joking about the whole sacrificial bride thing. You've already told me how you feel about marriage."

He groaned. "I see little point in binding yourself exclusively to one soul for all eternity."

"Not even for procreation?"

"I'm immortal," he said bluntly. "What need would  _I_  have for an heir?"

She shrugged. "Well, if you wanted to retire—"

"I  _am_ retired!" He snorted harshly. "And why would anyone think I'd want a constant companion when I live forever? After a few decades, it would become rather tiresome, don't you think?"

"Wouldn't you outlive them anyway?" Lita asked, taking another spoonful.

He shook his head. "I can't legally marry. At least where the human law is concerned. A demonic mating ritual is the only way I can be considered," he used air quotes, "'married' to anyone. Divine bonds last for all eternity and can never be broken."

Despite his disinterest in marriage, it was curious that he even remotely knew about his kind's mating rituals. But Lita didn't question it.

"Well, marriage isn't for everyone, I guess," she said nonchalantly. "Probably why half of them fail."

"Then why do it at all?!" He snapped. "And don't say it's because two people love each other very much!"

At times, it was as if she were speaking to a child. "Well, in the case of my parents, they were both alone…and a bit lonely." She caught his scowl. " _They_  were. But when they were together, they didn't feel so alone. Being married meant they could  _always_  be together, even when they were apart. And you know," she said with a chuckle, "in case Mom had to make any conjugal visits."

Black Hat rolled his eye. "What is with humans and their obsession with sexual intercourse?"

"Hey!" She pointed her spoon at him. "That's not all marriage is about! My parents had their ups and downs, but they brought out the best in each other, working as a team to raise me." She sighed sadly. "Their time together…didn't last forever, but…Papi said those ten years with her were the best of his life."

Lita paused. "And for the record, not  _everyone_  cares  _that_  much about sex. I always told my coworkers I was too busy for a relationship, which was true, but that was before I realized I was demi."

Black Hat stared at her in confusion. "Demi-what?"

"Demisexual. Means I don't really experience much attraction until  _after_  I've gotten to know a person. But with my track record, that's only happened on rare occasions." She saw her boss cock his head. "It's a real thing!"

He didn't say it wasn't, yet he was surprised to hear  _her_  say it.

He disguised his understanding with a scowl. "I couldn't care less if you wanted to bed someone or not. My rules still apply! At least I can count on  _you_  to have some self-control."

Taking another bite, she said, "From you, I'll take that as a compliment."

"Even if I had the  _time_  for…sexual indulgences," Black Hat said, his cheeks darkening, "I don't know why those idiots would presume I wanted some random girl off the streets! I mean…even if I was just bored, what fun would it be if the girl was screaming all the time?!"

Lita smiled at him.

"What?"

"You're more of a romantic than you let on, boss," she said with a wink.

"I'm a realist!" he exclaimed, placing a hand on his chest. "And the idea of me getting married isn't realistic at all!"

"You mean you've never thought about it?" she said incredulously. "Not once? In two thousand years? Not even when you were a child?"

He huffed as he glanced to the side. "Why would I?"

"Same reason you do anything?" She shrugged as she lifted her spoon. "Boredom?"

Black Hat winced, regretting that he'd opened up to her about anything. "I'd have to be  _really_  desperate for entertainment. And even then, she'd have to be one  _hell_  of a woman!"

"Female, then." Lita nodded. "That narrows it down. Dementia's interested."

Black Hat growled. "I can't even tolerate her for a minute, let alone an eternity! And while her passion for villainy and destructive behavior is admirable, she can't keep up an intelligent conversation! I swear, every word out of her stupid mouth is a pathetic declaration of her love for me! Who wants to hear all  _that_  for eternity?!"

"Communication  _is_  key." Lita hung her head back in thought. "I once had a blind date with a guy who would talk about nothing but his," she lowered her voice as she flexed her arms, " _awesome muscles_ and his," she batted her eyes as she flipped her ponytail, " _shiny hair_!"

Her dopey jock impression caused the demon to chuckle. "Was he a hero?"

"If he was, he did a poor job of hiding it." She twirled her spoon around her bowl. "Worst part was he left me with the check. Not to be a traditionalist, but  _I_  was the one on minimum wage!"

"I would've snuck out the back window," he said, pointing his thumb behind him.

She leaned towards him to whisper, "Don't tell anyone."

He burst out laughing. "Sounds like I'm not missing much."

"Yeah," Lita said, eating the last few bites of her cereal. "I only let my coworkers set me up because…well, one, I'd at least get a free meal out of it. Plus, I had nothing better to do with my time." She tilted her spoon towards him. "But you know all about insufferable boredom, don't you?"

Indeed, Black Hat did. Yet he wasn't bored at the moment. It certainly wasn't quiet anymore with the two of them talking. Even the crunching of her cereal filled the silence beautifully.

And his chills from earlier had gone away.

"But I get it," she said, gazing down at her nearly empty bowl. "Being forced into a romantic situation isn't…fun. Especially when you're not in a place to  _be_  in a relationship."

Each spoonful of cereal was huge, somehow fitting into that giant mouth of hers without spill, her right elbow on the table to hold up her spoon. It was juvenile, yet he couldn't help but watch in amazement. He, too, had a hearty appetite, despite not actually needing to eat. But liking the taste of food so much often resulted in his mouth reacting in a disgusting and dangerous way that he found it best to eat when people weren't watching. Unless he was feasting on their flesh, of course.

But she hadn't seemed to mind his eating habits. Then again, she'd already seen him do things that were a lot viler. And he found her eating habits…somewhat endearing. Especially with how she could still contribute to their conversation between those enormous bites. The two of them eating together just felt so casual. So…normal.

Why did he like it so much?

Once she'd taken the last bite, she caught him staring. "What?"

"Nothing," he said, quickly turning his attention to the tiled floor. "It…it doesn't matter, anyway. Romance is not suitable for villain life."

"It's fine," Lita said quietly, dropping her spoon into her bowl. "I'd…kind of given up on the idea of getting married long before you came along. I'd probably make a terrible wife."

Black Hat looked up in astonishment. "W-What makes you say that?"

"N-Nothing." Standing up, she took her bowl to the dishwasher. "I'll try to get some more sleep."

The demon watched her back as she left the kitchen. She paused a moment in the doorway.

"Hey," she said, turning her head slightly. "Let me know if you ever wanna vent to someone again."

Then she disappeared into the dark hallway, leaving Black Hat a pleasantly confused mess.

He was alone again, yet the warmth inside him still lingered. He knew what had caused it, and why it had been so cold and silent earlier.

During all that time in Paris, Black Hat had gotten used to having Lita in his presence. Not just for sheer entertainment, it would seem. He had come into this kitchen fuming with frustration, only to calm down after talking with Lita for a few minutes. He found it easy to converse with her, and even now he was still chuckling at her little quips.

 _Now if my cultists had offered_ her _to me just now…_

Black Hat shook the thought out of his head. "She's an employee. Nothing more."

Although he had no romantic intentions whatsoever, he couldn't ignore the fact that he liked spending time with her any longer.

After all, his rules didn't say anything about indulging in casual conversation.

* * *

"I don't know," Lita said, holding the pot of ravioli she'd made for lunch up to 5.0.5. "Do you think it's too rubbery?"

5.0.5. sniffed the pot and then held up his paw with a smile. The bear's equivalent to a thumbs-up.

"I miss Flug." She set the pot down and went to get the pasta bowls. "He always makes the best pasta."

A whimper told Lita that 5.0.5. also missed his surrogate father. She was about to scoop the ravioli into the three bowls, when her phone pinged in her back pocket. Knowing it was unwise to ignore text messages in this house, Lita put down the serving spoon and took out her phone.

There was a text message from the boss:  _When you're done preparing lunch, bring mine to my office. Bring yours as well._

"Weird," Lita said, slipping her phone back into her pocket.

"Mroo?" 5.0.5. questioned.

"Oh, boss wants me to bring his lunch to his office," she said as she continued to serve the ravioli. "Said to bring my lunch too."

A terrified expression took over the bear's face as he shivered.

"I'm, uh…sure it's nothing. Maybe he has some business he wants to discuss? And he wants to save time by doing it over lunch?" That didn't ease 5.0.5.'s concern. "I'll be fine,  _Pachoncito_. I've survived alone time with the boss before."

But she couldn't deny that she was a little worried as well. No matter what job she took, being called into the boss' office alone wasn't usually a good thing.

Lita sent 5.0.5. a reassuring smile as she placed two bowls on a tray. The minute she was out of the kitchen, her expression turned into one of panic. She couldn't think of anything she had done, but it was a natural instinct after being fired over twenty times!

When she reached Black Hat's office, the doors opened automatically for her. This was a relief, as she didn't have any hands to knock with. Her boss was at his desk, looking at some paperwork. He looked up when she came in, grinning as he poofed the paperwork off his desk.

"You got my text, I see," he said, folding his hands onto his desk. "Still not as fun as teleporting you through a toilet."

The doors shut behind her, causing Lita to jump and rattle the dishes.

"Am I in trouble?" she asked with a squeak.

Black Hat cocked an eyebrow. "Have you done something you shouldn't have?"

"Not that I can think of," she said, shaking her head. "But from past experience, whenever I get called into the boss' office, it means I'm about to get fired."

He waved his hand dismissively. "You needn't worry about that. You're under contract. I couldn't fire you, even if I wanted to."

"Right." Her shoulders relaxed as she remembered who she was talking to. "You don't really  _fire_  your employees. You just set them  _on_ fire."

Black Hat laughed. "Indeed. Fortunately for you, that isn't the case either."

"So…is there a job you need me to do?"

"Yes, there is." Propping his elbows up, he leaned forward onto his entwined hands. "Your job is to bring that food over here, sit down, and eat with me."

A chair materialized in front of his desk.

"Ah," she said, circling the chair. "You wanna discuss business over lunch."

He shook his head. "No business. Just lunch."

Her nose scrunched as she set the tray down. "That's…it?"

"Of course."

She placed her hands on her hips. "What's the catch?"

"The catch is let's start eating before I lose my patience." He gestured to the chair. "Now, sit."

Lita kept her confused gaze on him as she sat down. The grin remained on his face as he took a bowl of ravioli from the tray and placed it in front of himself.

"Did you make this all by yourself?" he asked, picking up the fork sticking out of the bowl.

"Yeah," she said, not taking her eyes off him as she slowly grabbed her bowl. "Don't expect it to be any good."

"Your cooking's at least digestible. Unlike Dementia's."

A black shaker labeled  _ARSENIC_  materialized in his hand. He shook the flakes onto his pasta as if it were salt. Lita scooped a chunk of ravioli into her mouth before he had the inclination to shake that thing her way.

"So," he said, causing the arsenic to vanish, "how's your day been so far?"

She stared at him blankly. "Huh?"

"Any problems with your duties? Were the carnivorous plants behaving themselves?"

"Uh, no. Everything's fine and…huh?"

Black Hat took a bite of ravioli. She could hear acidic fizzing as he closed his mouth.

"Lovely weather today, don't you think?" Black Hat said, glancing behind him at the storm thundering outside. "Perfect for an evil laugh."

He demonstrated by laughing maniacally as lightning flashed.

"Alright, now you try," he said, pointing his fork at her.

"I'll pass." She put her own fork down. "Boss, what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're kidding, right?" She gestured between them. "We're having  _lunch_  together. And not like when we were in Paris and you  _had_ to get me food. We're in your  _office_. You're actually  _eating_ in front of me!And you're asking how my day's going and talking about the  _weather_?"

"Well, what would  _you_  rather we talk about?" Black Hat asked bluntly.

"You're asking…?" She shook her head. "Why am I here? If this isn't about work, then what is this?"

The demon glanced downward as he picked at his food. "I simply…wasn't in the mood to be eating alone today." He scowled up at her. "Is that a problem?!"

"N-No, just…"

She trailed off as she contemplated his words. Was he doing this out of boredom? Or…was he really as lonely as she'd figured? Had he just wanted some company? Not that she  _minded_  being in his company.

That's right. She  _didn't_  mind.

"You know what?" she said, picking up her fork. "The weather  _is_  nice today. I actually like thunderstorms."

As lightning flashed, Black Hat's grin returned to his face. "Did I ever tell you about the time I battled a hero with lightning powers?"

"Nope." Smiling, she leaned forward. "You won, right?"

He huffed. "You're spoiling the ending."

The two of them laughed as they continued to eat and talk. Lita didn't question him further about him inviting her to lunch, as she was having too much fun! But if what he'd said was true, she couldn't blame him for it.

She didn't like eating alone either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you slow nights at work, allowing me to write half this chapter in my notebook!
> 
> Again. Once I start writing these two, it's hard to shut them up!
> 
> I like including lesser-known sexual orientations in my stories, if that wasn't apparent already. Due to my plans for this story, and how it's been going so far, I realized Lita worked best as a demisexual. As for Black Hat...well, you'll see.


	28. The Loophole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Black Hat is afraid. Yes. Legitimately afraid.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR OVER 100 COMMENTS!

 With Lita and Black Hat being the only two living beings in the household—that had the ability to speak, anyway—domestic hilarity was bound to ensue. One day, Lita was on a tall ladder in the hallway, dusting the frames of Black Hat's many portraits. In this one in particular, he was standing on a pile of skulls. Though honestly, Lita had been here so long that even the slightest suggestion of murder didn't even make her flinch.

The mansion was extra quiet without Flug and Dementia running around trying to kill each other, so Lita did her chores with her earphones plugged into her phone, listening to music. She was getting a little too much into Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off," shaking her feather duster and her hips to the beat.

" _Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, baby,_ " Lita sang absentmindedly along.

" _I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake!_

_I shake it off!_

_Shake it—_ AH!"

She screamed upon seeing the eyes of the portrait snap towards her. It startled her so much that she fell backward from the ladder! Thankfully, Black Hat teleported out of the portrait and to the floor in time to catch her.

"Oh, don't stop singing on  _my_  account," he said. "Your voice isn't half-bad."

Scowling, Lita thrust the feather duster into his face, as if to dust off that smug grin of his. "I almost fell to my death, you jerk!"

"You're welcome," Black Hat said, dropping her legs so she could stand. "If you're going to whistle while you work, at least choose a tune that's less…peppy. A client might've overheard and gotten the wrong idea."

"Well," she said, crossing her arms with the duster still in hand, "what would  _you_  suggest, Mr. Debby Downer?"

There was a dangerous glint in his eye that made her regret her question. "Perhaps you could try something along the lines of…"

Then he did the last thing she expected Black Hat to do. He opened his mouth wide and sang. With the voice of an opera star.

For a moment, Lita stood there stunned. She did not think it possible for something so angelic to come out of a demon's mouth. Soon it became clear that there was nothing angelic about it. After a few arias, spots appeared before her eyes and there was an incessant ringing in her ears. When he hit a particularly high note, which sounded like a melodic screech, the feather duster spontaneously shattered in her hand.

Putting a hand to her dizzy head, she fumbled forward into Black Hat's arms.

"Should've warned you about that," the demon said, though his chuckle suggested he'd fully intended for this to happen. Summoning an easy chair, he carefully sat her down. "You may return to your duties once the ringing stops."

"What?" Lita shouted, trying in vain to unclog her ears.

Laughing, he lifted her chin to make sure she could see his five fingers. "Take five."

After using his magic to reassemble the feather duster into her hand, Black Hat casually retreated down the hallway. Once her vision cleared, Lita stared at the duster and then down the now empty hall.

Either Black Hat's singing had caused her to hallucinate, or he had been uncharacteristically  _nice_  just now. If not making fun of her after giving her a migraine could be considered nice.

Lita got her unplanned revenge the next day.

She was carrying the laundry to the laundry room in the basement, when she heard a muffled voice that sounded like… _cooing_? She was in the area where Flug's most dangerous experiments were kept, so it wasn't a sound to be expected.

Curious, she followed the sound to a tall metal door labeled  _Lil' Jack_. Sliding the slot in the door, she peered inside. What she saw caused her eyes to widen.

In a sort of rainforest enclosure, Black Hat stood with a great black snake the size of a boa constricted around his shoulders. Lita had known about his snake, Lil' Jack, but had never seen her, as she apparently had an appetite for human flesh. The demon's back was to the door, but she could see him tickling the snake's chin. Lil' Jack seemed to be enjoying it as her eyes were closed and she was leaning into the touch.

"Did you enjoy your meal, my pet?" Black Hat said in a disturbingly affectionate tone. "Did you enjoy it? Of course, you did, you beautiful, vicious, unholy beast, you!"

Then he actually  _kissed_  the snake on the lips! Lita dropped her basket of laundry. Hearing this, Black Hat stiffened and his head spun around. She quickly slammed the door slab shut, but it was too late.

The demon teleported in front of her, the snake still around his shoulders. "YOU SAW NOTHING!"

In turn, Lil' Jack thrust her face into Lita's with an open-mouthed hiss. The woman should've been afraid of the giant thing, especially with those fangs. But this snake was pretty small change compared to all the scares she'd gotten from Black Hat.

"W-What do you mean, boss?" she said, not taking her gaze off those reptilian eyes. "A-All I see here is this big, deadly…snakey-wakey!"

Unable to control herself, she scratched Lil' Jack's chin, much to the snake's and Black Hat's surprise. Lil' Jack's tongue stuck out in contentment as her head relaxed into Lita's hands.

"Aw, look at you!" the woman cooed, rubbing the scaly but smooth head. "Now I know why Black Hat has us take care of you! You're just a big old softy, aren't you?"  
"No, she isn't!" Black Hat said hastily, pulling the snake out of her grasp.

Lil' Jack hissed at him furiously.

"What do you mean, 'don't let her stop?'" the demon said in confusion. "You're supposed to be a fearsome guard snake, not a sappy house pet!" That earned him another hiss. "No, I don't want you to eat her! But you could at least  _try_  to be terrifying! What would my clients think if I had a  _friendly_  snake?!"

This time, Lil' Jack bit down on his wrist, causing him to yelp.

"That's it!" he shouted, psychically unlocking the door to her enclosure. "No dinner for you tonight!"

After tossing the snake inside and shutting the door, Black Hat pointed a warning finger at Lita. "Tell  _anyone_  about this, and I might change my mind about not having my snake devour you whole!"

"Alright, alright!" Lita said with a smirk. "Don't get into a hissy fit."

He turned away from her so she wouldn't see his darkened cheeks, and stomped away. He didn't have to worry about Lita telling anyone. Seeing her demonic boss acting like a big softie towards his pet snake was a memory she wanted to keep to herself.

Because it was just too precious!

* * *

"Do I find it weird that the boss has invited me to lunch every day for the past few weeks?" Lita said to 5.0.5. as the two of them sat on the living room couch playing Super Smash Bros. "Yeah, a little. Do I sort of enjoy it? Of course! I mean…he's not really that bad company once you get on his good side. And it's a good thing the boss and I are getting along! It's better than him trying to murder me!

"I think he's just lonely, you know? I mean with Flug and Dementia away, he doesn't have anyone to yell at." She paused as she made her Pikachu zap 5.0.5.'s Kirby. "Okay, so…he hasn't really yelled at me in a while. But that's not something to worry about, right?"

"Bao?" was 5.0.5.'s response.

Lita sighed. "You're cute,  _chico_ , but not much for conversation."

Just as the bear miraculously won the battle with his Kirby, Lita's cell phone pinged.

"Gotta go, 5.0.5.," she said after reading the text. "Boss wants me to help him with some paperwork."

With Flug gone, Lita had been tasked with more clerical work than usual. For some reason, Black Hat made her do it in his office. She didn't think too much of it, as she didn't exactly have a desk of her own.

"Rematch tomorrow?" Lita asked 5.0.5.

The bear nodded with a smile. Then he watched the woman leave the living room, an excited grin on her face. The unusual amount of time Lita and Black Hat had been spending together had not gone unnoticed by 5.0.5. His innocent mind had concluded that they were best buddies now, and were probably having fun playing video games in Black Hat's office.

Although, innocent as he was, he hadn't dismissed a few other theories.

After saving his game, 5.0.5. glanced around and went over to his laptop on the desk in the corner. Opening it up, he clicked on a file labeled "5.0.5.'s Secret Fanfic Folder."

* * *

"What's the deal with this Doofenschmirtz guy?" Lita asked as she read through the next order form. "Who needs a hundred and four self-destruct buttons?"

"As long as he's paying me," Black Hat said, moving onto the next form, "I don't care."

The two of them sat across from each other at Black Hat's desk. Large stacks of order forms sat on either side of them.

Lita's eyes fell upon the clock on the wall, indicating that it was nearly one in the morning. "Oh geez, is that the time?! I didn't realize we'd been at this for five hours!"

"You can retire to bed," Black Hat said, waving his hand dismissively. "I can handle the rest."

"Thanks," she said, glancing at the piles of papers "Guess you need something to do the rest of the night anyway, huh?"

He smirked as he leaned back in his chair. "You know me well, my dear."

Smiling, Lita stood up from her seat. "Just call me if all that gets too boring for you."

"Paperwork is  _always_  boring, Lita," Black Hat said, glancing up at her. "But necessary."

"And less boring when  _I'm_  around, right?" she said teasingly.

He rolled his eye. "Go to bed, would you?"

His smirk didn't go away though as Lita left through the double doors. Indeed, even the mundane felt less so whenever she was around. Lately, he'd been coming up with numerous excuses to see her, not just with their daily lunches. Last week, he'd asked her to organize his filing cabinet, after mixing the files around beforehand. And yesterday, he'd spilled an inkwell just so she could come in and clean it up. Anything to cure him of his constant yearning to be in her presence!

If she had been suspicious of his behavior, she hadn't let on about it, nor had she complained. He had a feeling  _she_  was enjoying their time together too. He'd fully succeeded in gaining her trust, and she had unexpectedly gained his. Now they found they couldn't stop talking to each other. About themselves, about their favorite things, even the weather!

Black Hat didn't know what to call their relationship at the moment, but it had certainly changed. And as long it wasn't interfering with his villainy, he had no intention of ending it anytime soon.

Just then, the landline started ringing. Black Hat watched as the old-fashioned, spider-legged phone hopped onto his desk, the handset vibrating on top as it rang. Grinning at the thought of a possible business deal, the demon picked it up.

"Black Hat Organization," Black Hat said. "Lord Black Hat himself speaking."

" _Lord Black Hat?_ " came a familiar male voice. " _It's Ricardo Gris!_ "

"Ah, Ricardo." His grin faltered. "If this is about your daughter—"

" _No! Well, yes, I mean…I'm calling from the police station!_ "

He put down the form he'd been looking at, his grin returning. "Gotten yourself into a pickle, have you, old friend?"

" _I didn't know who else to call._ " The man sounded tired. " _You have my daughter._ "

"And I suppose," Black Hat said, leaning back in his chair, "you expect me to bail you out of this situation."

One of the benefits of being a member of Black Hat Organization was legal immunity. Which actually meant assistance in breaking out of prison.

" _I'm still a member! I'm only in here because I was trying to pay off my debt!_ "

Black Hat only chuckled. This was all too humorous for him.

"You forget, Ricardo," he said, lifting his feet onto his desk. "Your membership privileges were revoked the moment your daughter signed her soul away in place of yours."

There was a pause over the phone. " _I'll sell my soul again!_ "

Laughing, the demon crossed one leg over the other. "I don't  _want_  your soul, Ricardo. I already took all I wanted from you. And because your daughter has proved to be a valuable asset to my organization, I am no longer interested in your little debt to me, so consider it forgiven."

" _W-What are you saying?_ " Ricardo asked, sounding terrified.

"I'm saying that whatever you did to land yourself in this situation…was a complete waste of your time!"

There was a heavy sigh. " _Alright,_ don't  _get me out of jail! Just please, let my daughter go! I'll do anything!_ "

"You don't seem to understand, Mr. Gris. I have no interest in letting your sweet,  _charming_  daughter go." Black Hat grinned further as he glanced at the door Lita had gone through a few minutes earlier. "You should have introduced me to her earlier, old man. She is such a… _delight_."

That seemed to anger Ricardo. " _If you have so much as touched her, you…you_ bastardo _!_ "

"I could cut out your tongue for that, Ricardo," he said nonchalantly. "But considering where you're calling from, I won't waste my energy. Now, if that is all you have to say, I think we're done here." He snickered. "If you ask me, prison might be an improvement for you. You get room and board, free meals, and won't have to worry about bills."

Honestly, Black Hat didn't care what happened to the old man. With him out of the way, there would be nothing left tying Lita to the outside world. She'd be fully dependent on Black Hat.

Ricardo fumed on the other end. " _If you don't let Lita go, I'll…I'll…_ "

"You'll  _what_?"

" _I'll…I'll kill myself!_ "

Black Hat snorted. "Go on. I'll be sure to visit you in whatever hellish realm you end up in."

" _Have you really forgotten your own contract?_ " Ricardo's voice sounded bolder. " _If I'm dead, you'll_ have _to let Lita go!_ "

That caused the demon to drop the phone.

He remembered. Because of Lita's distrust, he'd carelessly added a clause he didn't think was going to be of any consequence. Until now.

The condition was that Lita belonged to him…as long as her father lived. Prisoners found ways to commit suicide all the time. All Ricardo would have to do was find a razor blade or smash his head against the wall. Then Lita wouldn't be bound to Black Hat anymore. By the ancient rules, he'd have no choice but to release her. A demon's word was his law.

Picking the phone back up, Black Hat tried not to convey his fear. "You wouldn't dare. You'd have no chance of seeing your daughter again if you're dead!"

" _It'll be worth it_ ," Ricardo said with conviction, " _as long as Lita's safe and free_."

 _Shit, he sounds serious!_  Black Hat was truly panicking. He couldn't lose Lita. He didn't  _want_  to lose Lita! Never mind her skills, he'd grown…fond of her, to say the least. Without her companionship, he'd return to his perpetual boredom! And he still had yet to learn exactly what made her his equal, and what that meant for the future.

No, he couldn't lose her. Not yet.

"B-Before you do anything drastic, old friend," Black Hat said, trying to sound calm, "hear my proposition." He put down his feet. "If you promise not to take your own life, I will not only assist you out of this situation, but I just  _might_  let you see your daughter. And I say  _might_ , because I'm not so convinced that you won't try anything idiotic again!"

There was silence for a long while. " _Prove to me that she is unharmed, and I will remain the same!_ "

Black Hat pulled the phone away so he wouldn't hear his sigh of relief. "Your daughter's asleep at the moment. I'll come fetch you in the morning."

" _Morning? But—_ "

"Take it, or leave it! Perhaps a night in a cell will put some sense in that irrational brain of yours!"

As the demon slammed the headset down, he groaned in exasperation.

He was being  _more_  than generous, but he could not afford to lose Lita. If that meant doing favors for her idiot of a father, then so be it! Ricardo had to live in order for Lita to be Black Hat's. And at the moment, the fool was more a danger to himself than anything else.

But Ricardo's promise not to harm himself did not eradicate Black Hat's fear entirely. At some point, the old man  _would_  die. Lita's contract would not last for eternity. Was she aware of this loophole? No, Black Hat would not tell her for the time being.

For now, he had to keep Ricardo alive, if he was going to keep Lita.

* * *

Lita was just leaving the kitchen after having finished breakfast, when Black Hat appeared in the doorway.

"We're going out," he said gruffly.

She took a step back. "Out?"

"We have business to attend to."

"Should I change into my uniform?" Lita asked, glancing down at her purple t-shirt and brown slacks.

"No," he said, his coat swishing as he turned. "You can come as you are."

His cold demeanor bewildered her. He'd been so amicable the past few weeks, that she wondered if something had upset him.

It wasn't until they were sitting across from each other in the hearse that she started asking questions.

"So, we meeting a client?"

She knew it was a stupid question. If this were a client meeting, Black Hat would've had her change into the outfit he'd bought her in Paris. As it wasn't suitable for cleaning or thieving, the only other times she wore her uniform was in commercials, which she'd had to participate in with Flug being away.

"A former client," Black Hat said, his eye directed out the window. "He requested bail."

Lita nodded, knowing of his jailbreak services. "You're not just gonna break him out?"

He shook his head. "Draws too much attention. And I'd rather  _not_  have the press be aware of my involvement in this. Besides," he said, turning towards her, "fewer questions are asked when the  _daughter_  posts bail."

"Wait." Her face paled as she put the pieces together. "My father's in jail? W-Why didn't you tell me?"

"He only called me last night," he said, lifting his palm slightly from the hilt of his cane.

"What did he…?" Her tone became worried. "He said he was getting into thieving again."

"Apparently, he's lost his touch." Black Hat huffed. "As is expected with age."

She scowled at him. "Says the two-thousand-year-old demon."

"Yes, but I don't  _age_."

The hearse stopped in front of the Hatsville Police Precinct, a building Lita had come to know well over the years. Reaching into his coat, Black Hat produced a yellow envelope.

"You're familiar with the bailing process, are you not?" he asked as he handed it to her.

"Yeah," Lita said, feeling the weight of the cash in her hands. "Mom and I had to get Papi out a few times ourselves."

"Then I don't have to explain it to you." He leaned back in his seat. "Just go in there quietly, bring your father straight out and return to the car. I'll be keeping an eye on you, so no funny business."

She rolled her eyes. "Like the first place I'd run to for help is the  _police station_. Even if they were remotely helpful, you'd explode the place."

"We have an understanding then. And leave my name out of this, alright?"

Lita scooted towards the door. "What's the point of even  _having_  police on this island, anyway?"

Black Hat shrugged. "I like to make the humans  _think_  they have some security. Plus, if there were no law and order at all, it'd be all too  _easy_."

She shook her head. "I  _really_  don't get you sometimes."

Opening the door, she stepped outside. She could feel Black Hat's gaze on her as she walked to the police station, hugging the envelope to her chest.

It didn't matter how long it had been since her arrest. Walking into a police station made her nervous. After all, she was  _more_  than just a common thief now. She was a member of Black Hat Organization. She glanced back subtly at the hearse, suddenly craving Black Hat's company.

But she understood why he had asked her to go in alone. She wasn't that well-known in the villain community yet, and everyone who had been involved in her arrest fifteen years ago had probably left by now. To a stranger, she was just a girl trying to bail her father out. No fuss would be made.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the glass door and went inside.

It was like walking into a high school reunion, with familiar people and sights all around. Officers bustled back and forth, handcuffed prisoners waited on the bench to be booked—she might've known some of them from juvie—telephones rang left and right. The smell of fingerprinting ink, coffee and donuts filled the air. Her wrists got a little tingly, thinking about the last time she'd been brought here, right before being hauled off to juvie.

Clutching the envelope tighter to her chest, Lita walked up to the front desk.

"Um, excuse me?"

The receptionist was a middle-aged white man, whose tired expression told her that he didn't want to be here.

"Yes?" he said with a groan, not even bothering to look away from his computer.

She leaned forward to catch a glimpse of the screen, and saw a window open on Minecraft.

"Err, I'm here to bail my papi out," she said, setting the envelope onto the desk. "His name is Ricardo Gris?"

The officer stopped his playing and finally turned to her, his eyes wide. "Did you say Ricardo  _Gris_?"

Lita bit her lip nervously. "Um, yeah. G-R-I-S?"

He glanced her over. "That would make you… _Adelita_  Gris, right?"

 _Uh-oh_ , she thought with panic.  _He knows._

She tried to play it cool. "W-Well, my friends call me Lita, but…"

The officer pressed a button on the landline. "Hey, Chief? Remember that diamond thief you were briefing us about the other day? Well, she just walked in. Apparently, her dad's in here."

Lita started backing away.

"Hey, someone stop her!"

Sure enough, two especially muscular officers moved to block the exit.

"Adelita Gris," the receptionist said as he stood. "You're under arrest for the grand theft of the Black Diamond of Bombay."

"Wait, what?" Lita said in surprise.

"Your dandruff was found at the crime scene," said one of the officers behind her as he got out a pair of handcuffs. "We still had your DNA on file from your juvenile record."

Finding herself cornered, Lita did the only thing she could do. Kicking her feet up one at a time, she whipped out her knives and pointed them at the cops on either side of her.

"I don't want any trouble, officers!" she exclaimed. "I'm just here for my father!"

The officers only laughed as they produced their handguns.

"A little late for that, honey," said the receptionist. "Drop the knives."

 _Right._  She blushed as she dropped the blades to the floor.  _Never bring a knife to a gun fight._

How could she have been so stupid? Then again, how was  _she_  to know the police would actually be  _competent_  for once? She thought she had left no trace while stealing that diamond! And it had been months ago, she'd thought they'd given up on it by now! But it seemed they already knew about her.

 _But wait. Do they know_ everything _?_

"That's right. Now put your hands above your head."

Lita obeyed them with a smirk. "You  _really_  don't wanna do this, boys."

"Now get down on your knees. Nice and slow."

"I mean it. See, I got this new boss with a hell of a temper, and he's right outside watching. And I don't think he's gonna like seeing his employee in cuffs! Maybe you've heard of him!"

Just as she said this, she felt Black Hat's claws on her shoulders. Terrified, the officers jumped back and dropped their guns. Relaxing, Lita lowered her hands and let the demon do his thing.

"Now, now," Black Hat said, moving away from her as he approached the quivering receptionist. "Is that any way to treat a customer?"

He slammed his hand on the table, causing the receptionist to fall back into his chair. The demon's fingers danced across the envelope of cash.

"I'm a very busy man," Black Hat said with a sickening grin as he pushed the envelope forward. "So why don't you take this money, release this girl's lazy bum of a father, and I'll forgive this…little transgression?  _However_ …"

Frowning, his arm shot forward and picked up the receptionist's gun. "Point a revolver at one of my employees ever again, and I will  _personally_ SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

Lita watched in awe as he crushed the weapon in his grasp. There was no denying the amount of power he held over everyone else. Even his mere presence had the soon-to-be convicts shaking in their chains. The cops didn't even bother putting up a fight.

Lita found herself wishing for even a fraction of that power.

Five minutes later, Ricardo Gris was brought out of the holding cell, looking worse for wear. His black hoodie was covered in grime and had a tear in the right arm, as if it'd been snagged on something. He was also thinner than last time Lita had seen him, and had dark circles under his eyes. But the minute he saw his daughter, life returned to that dead expression on his face.

" _Mija?_ " he said in disbelief.

"Papi!" Lita cried, not caring if others were watching as she ran to her father.

The two embraced, holding each other close after being apart for many months.

"Oh,  _princesa_ , I didn't think I'd ever see you again!" Ricardo said through his tears.

"Neither did I!" Lita said, holding back tears of her own. "I definitely didn't think I'd see you  _here_! Papi, what happened?"

Black Hat cleared his throat, reminding them of his presence. The father and daughter broke apart, the former giving the demon a furious glare.

"I believe we've overstayed our welcome," Black Hat said, gesturing to the cops cowering under their desks. "Let us return to the car before any heroes show up."

Ricardo and Lita held their joy in until they were seated in the hearse. Not caring who they were sitting across from, the two embraced each other again.

"Let me look at you," Ricardo said, pulling away slightly. " _Mija_ , your muscles!" He squeezed her arm. "Have you been working out?"

"I could ask you the same question," Lita said, poking his belly.

"Well, I couldn't get back into thieving when I was so out of shape!"

Her face became serious. "So, what exactly landed you back in jail?"

"I got too ambitious." He shook his head. "I got into contact with one of my old clients. He wanted a Rembrandt from the museum. But it seems I'm even more out of practice than I'd thought. And the museum's security has increased since my day."

Lita sighed. "You should've stuck with holding up grocery stores, Papi. I didn't sell my soul just so you could get yourself killed."

Ricardo glanced nervously at Black Hat, who was staring hard with his hands gripping the hilt of his cane. His glare warned the man not to say anything about the contract.

"I…I will keep that in mind," Ricardo said, looking back at his daughter. "But I did not think you'd be coming for me. I overheard the guards talking about you. Apparently, they linked you to that diamond robbery."

"Yeah," she said, slumping her shoulders. "Guess I got sloppy."

"It's not your fault. We can't help it if a little hair or dandruff falls."

Black Hat stared as the two of them continued to talk, as if he wasn't even there. The bond between the father and daughter was a strong one, despite them being separated under dire circumstances.

He would never admit it aloud, but the demon envied them. After all, the closest thing he'd ever had to a father figure was an abusive pimp. That was all he'd been left with after his mother had passed away. While Lita had lost her mother too, she still had her father. That was the difference between her and Black Hat. If there hadn't been another she cared about, she would've become as cold and ruthless as him.

If it weren't for the contract, Black Hat would be wringing Ricardo's neck right now. Then there'd be nothing attaching Lita to the outside world. At the very least, he shouldn't be allowing this happy father-daughter reunion. But Ricardo's threat weighed on the demon's mind. Even if the fool was out of jail, that wasn't a guarantee he wouldn't try anything in the future.

Black Hat had to ensure that that wouldn't happen.

The hearse stopped in front of Lita's childhood home.

"W-Well," Ricardo said, hesitating to let go of his daughter, "this is my stop."

The two of them sat there in silence, neither moving another inch away from each other. Sighing heavily, Black Hat psychically opened the side door.

"One hour," he said gruffly. "Not a second more."

Lita looked at him in disbelief. "R-Really?"

The demon met her gaze coldly. "Fifty-nine minutes and fifty seconds."

Overcome with joy, Lita practically leaped out of the car, dragging her father with her. "Thank you, boss!"

"I'm watching you!" Black Hat shouted as he psychically slammed the door closed.

The first thing Lita noticed when coming into the house that it was a lot tidier than she'd left it.

"Papi?" She glanced down at the bare, vacuumed carpet. "Have you…you  _cleaned_?"

Ricardo shrugged. "Well, with you gone, I realized…I had to start taking care of this house. And myself."

She noticed the small barbells in front of the television. "You  _have_  been working out!"

He smiled softly. "I'm so happy to see you here,  _mija_. The place has been so quiet and…empty without you."

Lita faced him. "I wish I could say the same, but…let's be honest. It's  _never_  quiet at Black Hat Manor!"

He laughed. "Fair enough."

Ricardo's expression then became serious as he glanced over his shoulder. He knew Black Hat was listening somehow, so he had to choose his words carefully.

" _Mija_ ," her father said, leaning forward. "Be honest with me. Are you…has he…?"

Lita knew to what he was referring. "He hasn't hurt me, Papi, if that's what you mean."

It was almost true. Since that incident with the Disintegration Ray, Black Hat hadn't tried any corporal punishment. Come to think of it, she couldn't remember the last time he'd even threatened her. Sure, his temper was still hot, but rarely directed towards her.

But her father didn't seem to buy it. "I don't care if he's listening. You can tell me. He hasn't…he hasn't tried to…I mean he  _is_  a man."

Lita rolled her eyes. " _No_ , Papi. He hasn't raped me. In fact, by this point, I'm pretty sure the dude is somewhere on the asexual-aromantic spectrum. Seriously, in all the time we were alone in Paris, he never once tried to—"

"You went to Paris?" Ricardo asked in surprise.

"Uh-huh. Oh, Papi, it was incredible! The buildings were so huge, and everything was so bright and colorful and we went to the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower and—oh!"

Setting her backpack onto the couch, she opened up one of the smaller pockets and dug around.

"I, um, snagged one of these," she said, taking out a keychain of the Eiffel Tower. "I was gonna keep it for myself as a souvenir, but…"

She placed it in his hand. Ricardo was still flabbergasted.

"You went to Paris? With  _Black Hat_?"

"Oh, yeah. Business trip with a client. Not supposed to tell you who, but  _wow_  did that guy have the cliché bad guy monologue down to an art! Oh, hey! Have you eaten today?"

Ricardo shook his head.

"Then let me fix you something!" She glanced at the clock. "Hmm. We still have fifty minutes. That's plenty of time to make an omelet."

The man's eyes widened as his daughter skipped into the kitchen. "Since when do you know how to make omelets?"

"Flug and 5.0.5. taught me," Lita said as she got some eggs out of the fridge. "Everyone in the mansion cooks, so I had to learn. Hey, where do you keep the skillet?"

Ricardo opened one of the lower cupboards for her. "You…you cook for them?"

"Yeah, but I'm not as good as them. Well, Dementia's a lot worse, but you should try 5.0.5.'s baked goods! Seriously, it's no wonder villains keep having him cater for them!" After finding a mixing bowl and some more ingredients, she got to work on the omelet. "Flug's pretty good too, especially when it comes to pasta. And I don't know if Black Hat studied from an evil gourmet chef or what, but whenever it's his turn to cook, I feel like I'm eating at a five-star restaurant!"

Hearing his daughter talk about her villainous co-workers with such praise and elation was…disconcerting for Ricardo. She had sounded healthy over the phone, but he had been so sure she'd been faking it for his benefit. Or because the phone was tapped.

In fact, Ricardo had never heard Lita talk about  _any_  of her co-workers this way. She'd never worked at a job long enough to get to know anybody, and thus had never tried. Even before her arrest, Ricardo had been aware of Lita's social isolation. She hadn't even insisted on a birthday party. There had been no friends to invite.

Normally, Ricardo would've been thrilled that she was making friends. But these weren't the kind of friends he'd had in mind.

" _Mija_ ," he said slowly. "Do you mean to say you're… _getting along_ with those…those  _villains_?"

"Um…yeah, I guess so," Lita said, beating the eggs in the mixing bowl. "I mean… Dementia and I are still on the fence, but they're all really not so bad once you get to know them. Especially 5.0.5. There's not an evil bone in his body."

"The bear, I understand, but…even that doctor?"

Ricardo shivered at the memory of Dr. Flug's electro-convulsion therapy.

"Don't get me wrong." Lita poured the mixture into the skillet. "He's as sadistic as the rest. But he's a real sweetheart deep down. Like he's always giving me good advice and is really helpful every time I get injured." Seeing her father's horrified expression, she quickly added, "From sparring!"

"What about… _Black Hat_?" he whispered the name. "Isn't he…aren't you frightened of him  _at all_?"

Lita paused to think about it. "No. I mean…I guess he scared me a little at first, but…"

Embarrassed to be talking about this, she went back to smoothing the edges of the eggs out with her spatula. Ricardo mistook her nerves for something else.

" _Mija_ , if he  _has_  hurt you—"

"Stop it, Papi!" Lita exclaimed, pointing the spatula at him like a knife. "For the last time, he has  _not_  hurt me! I know he can break my bones with a snap of his fingers, but he  _hasn't_! Yes, he's a villain. Yes, he's a demon. But he's also a person with a conscience, and because of that, I have no reason to be afraid of him!"

His daughter's passionate outburst had Ricardo taken aback. Realizing she had shouted, Lita bit her lip and returned to her cooking.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to…" She sighed. "You don't have to worry about me. I can handle Black Hat."

He was still skeptical. "What…what makes you so sure about that?"

"You know how Mom always said there were no good or bad people in this world? Just people who sometimes did bad things? Well, it's the same with Black Hat."

Ricardo shook his head. "Your mother was…incredibly tolerable. More tolerable than she should've been. But just because people aren't all bad, doesn't excuse the things this demon has done."

"Maybe." Lita focused her gaze on the eggs. "But it makes him human."

* * *

Outside, a few civilians had come out of their houses, but had quickly retreated back inside upon seeing the distinct vehicle parked there. No one even bothered calling the police or Hero Organization, for they knew not to get in Black Hat's way. The demon in question paid them no heed as he waited in the hearse, his hearing focused on the conversation in the Gris' home.

To hear Lita defend him was surprising. Yet his chest felt lighter from it. She sounded genuine, even though she knew he was keeping tabs on her.

He almost had her. He had her loyalty, but there was still the matter of her mixed morality. Not to mention the loophole that came with her father's death. Even if he didn't take his own life, he would still die eventually. Whether it was from hunger, sickness, or old age. Perhaps Lita was content with working for Black Hat for now, but what would she do the moment her contract was up?

Instead of thinking about how he would handle that inevitability, he decided he would do what he could to postpone it.

Three seconds before the hour was up, the front door to the house opened. Black Hat sighed, relieved that he wouldn't have to go in after her. He watched as Lita gave her father one last hug. They were whispering, but the demon could still hear them.

"Let me know if that  _bastardo_  hurts you," Ricardo said.

"Don't call him that, Papi," Lita said. "And I told you. I'll be fine."

When their hug went on for a few seconds longer than Black Hat would've liked, he rolled down the window and cleared his throat. Lita kissed her father's cheek before breaking away from him and returning to the hearse. As soon as she opened the door, Black Hat stepped out.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I have some business to discuss with your father," he replied bluntly, not even looking at her as he walked to the front door. "Wait in the car."

Watching him warily, Lita sat down in the hearse. Ricardo stepped aside to let the demon through before shutting the door. For a long while, Black Hat was silent as he kept his back to the man. Then, turning around, he handed Ricardo a sealed yellow envelope.

"What's this?" Ricardo asked, taking the envelope.

"Insurance," Black Hat said, placing his hands behind his back.

The man opened up the package. His eyes widened upon seeing a wad of pesos.

"I…don't understand," Ricardo said in bewilderment.

"I'm giving this to you in confidence," Black Hat said, poking the man's belly with his cane, "that you use it to get your sad, sorry, little life together. And that you won't put yourself in harm's way again." His eye flitted towards the door. "Even if you end up freeing your daughter, I don't think she'd appreciate her father abandoning her, leaving her all alone with nothing but an empty house!" His voice became softer. "Even  _I'm_  not that cruel."

His words confused Ricardo. Black Hat was not known for charity. The demon he'd worked for all these years had never given anyone money without demanding something in return. The bail money had been one thing, but this? Even if this was to ensure that Lita remain in Black Hat's employment, this was unexpectedly generous.

Ricardo looked the demon in the eye. "Why do you want her so much?"

Black Hat cocked his head, as if the answer were obvious. "Your daughter is very talented. I plan to mold her into the villainess I know she can be."

The man did not break eye contact. "She claims…you haven't harmed her."

The demon leaned forward onto his cane. "Is that a problem?"

"It's suspicious." Ricardo crossed his arms. "The way you treat your employees is no secret. Even that lizard-girl in love with you is afraid of you. But Lita…she doesn't seem to be scared of you at all."

"Then there is nothing to concern you," Black Hat said rapidly with a tip of his hat. "Good day,  _señor_."

The demon moved past him. His hand was on the doorknob when Ricardo spoke again, his voice cracking.

"Are you in love with her?"

Black Hat stiffened. "What?"

Ricardo turned to him fully. "Are you in love with my daughter? Because if you are, just know that…my Adelita's not like the henchgirls you normally keep! She's not a fool, and she would never allow you to—"

With the speed of a cheetah, Black Hat spun around and gripped a claw around the short man's neck. It was tight enough to make him struggle, but not enough to block his windpipe.

"If it weren't for that blasted contract," the demon growled, "I'd slaughter you, old man! You know as well as anybody that there's no room in my lifeless, black heart to  _love_  anybody or any _thing_!"

Ricardo stood his ground, no longer afraid of dying. "If my daughter means nothing to you, then why are you so adamant to keep me alive?"

Scowling, Black Hat dropped the man to the floor. "Your daughter is but a pawn. A means to an end." Leaning on his cane, Black Hat loomed over him. "And if you so much as suggest that she is anything more, remember that there are fates  _worse_  than death!"

"Go on," Ricardo said, standing up. "Make my life a living hell. See how Lita thinks of you then."

They stood there for a long while, glaring at each other.

"Let's keep this little conversation between us, shall we?" Black Hat said in a mock-civilized tone as he held up a finger. "And not a word about the contract to Lita. Or perhaps you'd like to explain to her that you'd threatened to off yourself for her benefit?"

Ricardo didn't blink. "If you hurt her in any way, our deal is off."

Black Hat clenched the hilt of his cane. "Understood."

No longer able to control his rage, Black Hat psychically swung the front door open and stomped through it. Lita was still waiting in the hearse. Of course, it would've been pointless for her to have made a break for it, but it relieved him that she hadn't at least tried.

As he joined her in the car and barked for the auto-drive to take them home, Lita noticed his frustration. He noticed her sadness. Not wanting to seem like he cared, Black Hat focused his gaze out the window. But Lita just couldn't keep quiet.

"You didn't have to do that," she said softly.

He snorted through his nostrils. "Actually, I did."

Lita sighed. "You could've left my dad in jail. And you didn't have to give me time with him. And even if your reasons were totally selfish, I…thanks."

Black Hat gripped the hilt of his cane. "Why do you still care for him?"

She blinked at the question. "He's my father."

"He's the reason you're in this situation," he said under his breath.

"Well, yeah, but… _you_  don't hate your mother for the things she did, do you?"

His cane splintered between his fingers. "My mother had no choice."

"Papi doesn't have that many either. He grew up an orphan, you know? He only started stealing because he was trying to survive the streets. Not much different from you."

This time, he did look at her. "Except that I moved past all that and made something of myself! But  _that_  man…that man's actions condemned his own daughter!"

Lita narrowed her eyes. "If there's anyone to blame for my situation, it's me. I sold my soul because I wasn't willing to see him die."

" _You_  would've at least done fine on your own!"

"Not without him," she whispered with a shake of her head.

Black Hat's expression softened as he started to realize something else about Lita. She wasn't simply attached to her father. She was dependent on him. Now that the demon thought about it, every big decision she'd made in her life had been for her father. She'd started stealing for him, she'd stopped stealing for him, she'd sold her soul for him.

"When's the last time you've done something for yourself?" Black Hat asked abruptly.

Lita stared at him, unsure of what had brought this question on. Her mouth opened, but she had difficulty finding an answer.

"Villain or not, Miss Gris," he said slowly, "if you never do anything for yourself, you'll be a martyr for life."

She crossed her arms. "Is it wrong to want to help others?"

"Not to a point of self-annihilation."

Snorting, she turned her face towards the window. "Well, what I want doesn't matter now that you own my soul."

"True," Black Hat said with a shrug. "One cannot always get what they want. Villains simply aren't afraid to try."

"Guess I'm not a real villain then," she said under her breath.

"You will be. When you start thinking about yourself."

"What if I don't  _wanna_  be a villain?"

"It's a little late for that, my dear." He smirked. "You're already a branded criminal."

"Criminal is one thing. I've never  _hurt_ anyone." The rest she mumbled. "That didn't deserve it."

Black Hat grinned, knowing this meant she  _had_  hurt someone. "You see? You try to justify your crimes, just as a villain would."

"But  _you_  never think about it," Lita said, facing him, "when you hurt someone. How they'd feel. Whether or not anybody would miss them. If they had a mother like you did."

He scoffed. "Did  _you_  think about others when you stole from them? How  _they_  would be affected by your crimes?"

"W-Well…no, but…" She hung her head. "I was just trying to—"

"Maybe  _they_  had some debts to pay off, families to care for. But you never considered that when you robbed them, did you? Face it, Miss Gris. You're aware that it's either kill, or  _be_  killed in this world." Feeling triumphant, Black Hat leaned back in his seat. "You're a villain in denial."

Fuming, Lita also leaned back in her seat. "And you're a human being in denial."

"If you'll recall," he said through his teeth, "I haven't been human in nearly two thousand years."

"Doesn't change the fact that you  _were_  one. Which means you're just as capable of doing good as you are of doing evil."

His grin dropped. "Watch your mouth! I was never  _good_  to begin with!" He leaned forward. "You think I was a saint when I was human? I was headed for a hellish afterlife  _long_  before I made that deal!"

"I never said you were good!" Lita leaned toward him. "But you still  _do_  good every now and then!"

"I do  _not_!" he snapped.

"Then why give me time with my father?"

"That wasn't for  _your_  benefit, but  _mine_!"

" _How_?!"

He gritted his teeth together. "I don't need to tell  _you_!"

The cane shattered in his grasp, causing Lita to jump back.

"I've had it up to  _here_ ," Black Hat shouted, bringing his hand up to his neck, "with your," he lifted his voice an octave to mimic her, "'there's no such thing as good or evil' mantra! You signed your soul over to me, and you are going to be a villain, whether you like it or not!"

Lita was so angry, she couldn't stop her hand from going to her boot. Faster than either of them could think, Lita threw one of her knives at him, striking the demon in the chest. Right where his heart should've been. Black Hat looked down at the knife with a mixture of shock and awe.

"You want me to be a villain?" she said, breathing heavily. "Fine. I'm  _done_  being nice."

As she slumped in her seat, Black Hat slowly pulled the knife out of his chest.

"That's what I wanted to hear," he said with a chuckle.

But his mirth was short-lived when he caught sight of the woman wiping a tear out of her eye. It wouldn't be the first time he saw her cry, but this would be one of the few times he was the cause. As it should be.

Why did he not like it?

* * *

Lunchtime was tense. Neither Black Hat nor Lita spoke. The only sound was the occasional scraping of forks against their bowls. The demon watched as the woman across from him sat hunched over, stabbing her fork into her salad before crunching on it noisily. He understood the emotion behind this body language all too well.

"You're angry," he said after five full minutes of silence. "Anger is good." Glancing downward, he picked at a cherry tomato. "It motivates you to get the things you want."

Lita brought her fork down hard. "You don't give a flying  _fuck_  about what  _I_  want!" She glared up at him. "You only think about yourself!"

He met her eyes with a cold stare. "It's what villains do."

"Right." She snorted. "You said that. Well, you know what  _this_  villain wants right now?" She sat up so quickly that she knocked her chair over. "Not to eat lunch with  _you_!"

Black Hat dropped his fork as his eye narrowed. "Sit back down."

Ignoring him, Lita grabbed her bowl and headed for the door. Black Hat materialized into her path, his patience wearing thin.

"I  _said_ ," he growled, the room darkening as he increased his height slightly to tower over her. "Sit. Back.  _Down_."

"Why?" Lita said, boldly glaring up at him. "You wanted me to act more like a villain, didn't you? Well, here I am!" She spread her arms out dramatically. "Thinking about what I want!"

Black Hat bared his teeth, reminding her of their sharpness. But he didn't have to inhale to tell that this did not faze her. She'd been unafraid of his threats for a long time. He'd come to accept that by now.

What angered him was that she was speaking to him so disrespectfully! And after he'd had her visit her father! Why was she acting so ungrateful?!

Gripping his claws into fists was all he could do to stop himself from wringing that pretty little neck of hers!

"You also signed a contract, Miss Ladrona," he said in a warning tone, "swearing to obey my every order! You are still a henchgirl, and no matter  _what_  your desires, you must NEVER DEFY YOUR BOSS!"

They stood there for a while, engaged in a heated staring contest. All the while, Lita tried rationalizing her anger. In the car, Black Hat had told her to start thinking about what she wanted. The truth was she had no idea what she wanted! She knew she wanted to be with her father, but at the same time, she didn't think she could go back to that old routine of endless job-searching and trying to make ends meet. She didn't want to be a villain, but now that the cops knew she worked for Black Hat, all chances of following a legitimate career had been thrown out the window.

There was also the matter that as long as Black Hat owned her soul, being a criminal was her only option. As had been demonstrated at the police station, she couldn't go anywhere without this brand. But unlike her boss, her name didn't strike fear into people's hearts. She couldn't take down a whole precinct with very little effort. She worked for the most powerful villain there was, but was still on the lowest rung of the ladder. Just as she'd always been.

"Alright," Lita said after much consideration. "How about a compromise?"

Light returned to the room as Black Hat cocked his head curiously. "Compromise?"

She nodded. "I'm tired of cleaning most of the day, when heists are so infrequent. I…I wanna do more." Placing her free hand on her hip, she firmly said, " _And_  I want you to start paying me. Doesn't have to be much, given that I live here rent-free. Just enough to make me feel like less of a slave and more of an employee."

Fascinated by her request, Black Hat shrank back to normal size. "Is this your way of asking for a promotion?"

She paused to think about it. "Yes. That's  _exactly_  what this is."

She waited for him to say no. After all, she'd never been offered a promotion in her life. Not even a raise. But Black Hat gave her a satisfied grin.

"What brought on this sudden ambition?" he asked.

"Well…" She lowered her head. "At the station, if…if you hadn't shown up when you did, I…I would've been screwed. You've…you've kept me under wraps. I've only been in a few commercials and to a couple of meetings. Not enough for the public to know me. And I know I said a thief shouldn't draw attention to herself, but…I  _want_  people to know who I am." She met his gaze. "Who I work for."

The demon nodded in understanding. "You want to be feared."

"Respected," she said quickly.

He shrugged. "Same difference."

She shook her head. "I just don't wanna have to wait for you to swoop in next time someone pulls a gun at me. And someone will." Decidedly, she straightened up. "I'm already affiliated with you. Might as well go all in."

If only it were possible for the corners of Black Hat's mouth to go up any further.

"You make a convincing argument," he said, placing his hands behind his back. "Of course, you've taken me completely by surprise with this request. I'll need some time to think about exactly what position to give you."

Lita relaxed under his gaze. "Fair enough."

Having said her peace, she turned and set her bowl back onto the desk. Quietly, she lifted her chair from the floor and sat back down. Black Hat chuckled to himself as he moved around the desk to rejoin her.

_Caught you at last, my little villainess. Hook, line, and sinker._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this chapter turned out longer than I'd anticipated. Would you believe the majority of this chapter had been jotted down in my notebook? Now my brand-new notebook I only bought a couple weeks ago is more than halfway full. That's how slow it's been at my job.
> 
> I read on the Villainous Wiki that Black Hat is actually a proficient singer, but his singing can make people go mad.
> 
> "5.0.5.'s Secret Fanfic Folder" is another little idea I have. Who'd be up for it?


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